Saturday Snippets

West Ham bonk; If at first; Numpty coppers; Rooting it out; and Runny flasher










BF6 last eve, no fireworks at all but tonight is the “official” display down the Manor Park which is guaranteed to make it pour with rain, but from my castle on the top of the hill I will be able to watch in comfort.

I see that Julie kirkbride wants to rescind her resignation over the expenses row and stand in the next election, makes you proud of MPs doesn’t it.

And:

According to the guy that helped invent the mobile phone they are too complicated, took them long enough to find that out.




First up:

At least something came on time

Commuters at West Ham station were shocked on Thursday night when, instead of the usual messages about delays, the sounds of a couple having sexual intercourse was broadcast over the tannoy.

Passengers at West Ham station in east London heard a couple's lovemaking antics being relayed over platform loudspeakers during the evening rush hour on Thursday.
"The noises heard by passengers were not from within our station. We believe they were a result of some sort of interference with our public address system," a spokesman for Transport for London said on Friday. "It certainly wasn't coming from our staff."

He said the station's public address system worked on radio waves and somebody must have been broadcasting on the same wavelength. He said staff had turned off the loudspeakers as soon as they realised what was going on.

But passengers had different interpretations.

"It was definitely a couple doing it there and then," Laura O'Connor told the London Evening Standard newspaper. "He was grunting loudly and she sounded like she was having a great time. The driver must have heard it, too, as the doors stayed open longer than usual."

Nice to see that someone got their ticket punched.

Half way there

A South Korean woman is celebrating after passing the written exam for a driving licence - on her 950th attempt.

After four years of trying, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon finally managed to secure the 60 out of 100 points needed to pass the test.

The grandmother has spent more than 5m won ($4,200, £2,600) on application fees for the test.

Now Mrs Cha, who lives in Jeonju, 130 miles (210km) south of Seoul, must pass the practical test to get on the road.

'Don't give up'
According to the Korean Driver's Licence Agency, the 50-minute written test consists of 50 multiple-choice questions on road regulations and car maintenance.

Mrs Cha had been trying to pass it since 13 April 2005, the Korea Times reported.

She wanted a licence so that she could use a vehicle to sell vegetables and other goods, the newspaper said.

And her determination to pass the test has made her well-known at the Jeonju centre.

"She is really famous here. Not only agency employees but even some test-takers know her. Her challenging spirit is really amazing," one official was quoted as saying.

Speaking in February - after her 775th failure - Mrs Cha had appeared undaunted.

"I believe you can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it," she told Reuters news agency.

"So don't give up your dream, like me. Be strong and do your best."


So all she has to do now is pass the driving part of the test, about 2013 I reckon.

North Wales Numptys

Police in North Wales are having to find £18,000 to refund motorists after issuing speeding tickets for people driving more than 30mph - in a 40mph zone.

Police in North Wales are having to find £18,000 to refund motorists after issuing speeding tickets for people driving more than 30mph - in a 40mph zone.

Officers had been targeting cars travelling through the village of Bala in Snowdonia in the 'Arrive Alive' campaign, reports the Daily Post.

They caught hundreds of drivers on the short stretch of road since the 'Arrive Alive' campaign was launched at the beginning of March.

North Wales Police Superintendent Simon Shaw admitted that police had wrongly believed the county council had changed the speed limit to 30mph in 1993.

"Following an enquiry by a member of the public, Gwynedd carried out a review of the relevant road traffic order and discovered the original road traffic order had not been revoked," he said.

"Consequently, despite a system of street lighting properly reflecting a 30mph speed limit the section of the road was still in fact the subject of a 40mph speed restriction."

Local politicians have criticised police for failing to notice the mistake sooner and warned "legal bungling" could lead to speeding problems.


Here is a test for the police, what is written on the road sign 30 or 40?

Knotweed kerfuffle

Baffled scientists are trying to get to the root of this astonishing plant dug out of the ground by a Chinese farmer.

The two foot tall root weighs in at a massive 12 lbs and bears an amazing resemblance to a boy in even the smallest detail.

The root comes from the Chinese knotweed plant, used by local healers as a natural laxative.

Farmer Zheng Dexun, 63, of Datianba, in southern China, said: "I was shocked that it was so large and is so clearly like a boy.

"It's bigger than my grandson. Scientists are looking at it now and will tell me how it came to be like this."

If his grandson looks like that he must live near a nuclear power station.




And finally:

No skid marks-no defence

A Florida flasher who allegedly exposed himself to two women explained to cops that his state of undress was due to an "explosive diarrhoea" incident.

Collier County deputies responded to a call on Monday that painter Todd Napodano, 42, stood up inside his white Chevrolet box-truck van in a Naples parking lot and "shook his hips" at the pair. Cops found him an hour later still naked and in "plain view" inside the vehicle.

In his defence, Napodano explained to officers his guts had exploded and he was "using his underwear to clean himself", as naplesnews.com puts it.

However, the sheriff's report notes that "upon examining Napodano’s underwear, deputies found no evidence of uncontrolled bowels". He was cuffed and subsequently charged with indecent exposure.

You can see Napodano's arrest card right here.


Good try though.




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