Radio Wi-Fi: Non flying Arab league: Cleggie catches the U-turn virus: April Fools: Text a stamp: See “U” Kate: Cut your grass Dahn Unda: and Explosive rubbish.

‘Tis a tad damp at the Castle this Sunday morn; two number 1’s have joined with one number 8 on the periodic table and have decided to dump on us Dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire.

The kitchen is half full of broken computers, and I get a fair amount of people who say that their Wi Fi is a bit dodgy.

Fear not, the Dei has done some digging (mainly to bury the crap comps) and has “discovered” that-

Researchers say that householders face significantly slower internet speeds if they use Wi-Fi because electronic devices interfere and congested airwaves.

Radios, microwaves, baby monitors and even furniture slow down internet speeds for Wi-Fi-users by almost a third, scientists have found.

The study, which conducted more than one million tests on 14,001 consumer broadband connections in Britain, the United States, Italy and Spain, also found speeds were cut by physical barriers such as walls, doors and even furniture.

The study concluded that homes that used Wi-Fi had an average 30 per cent “drop-off” compared to the speed actually being received by their internet connection.

Significantly slower results were found to have occurred when users downloaded “large files” such as MP3s and videos or during video streaming.

Experts said the study also showed that people generally ignored such problems if they had “freedom” to use their laptop anywhere in their home.

So if your Wi Fi is slow turn off the radio, pull the plug on the baby alarm, don’t have that microwave dinner, knock down the walls and empty your house of furniture-but don’t call me because there is bugger all I can do about it.

And I see that Japan is about to nuke itself

Officials say reactor 3 lost its emergency cooling system. A similar problem led to a blast at reactor 1 at the plant on Saturday.

About 170,000 people have been evacuated from the area near the plant.

That’ll save America having to do it again then…..only joking, good wishes to all in the land of the mushroom shaped sun.

Across to the land of oil, Gadaffi, and British guns

The Arab League has backed the idea of a no-fly zone over Libya, as rebels continue to be pushed back by Colonel Gaddafi's forces.

A special meeting in Cairo voted to ask the UN Security Council to impose the policy until the current crisis ended.

The UK and France have pushed for the idea, but have failed so far to win firm backing from the EU or NATO.

Here’s an idea why don’t the Arab League get off their arses and do something about it themselves?

Deputy Piss Poor Policies Nicky Clegg is in a bit of bovver with the Lost Dem party; it seems that Cleggie was forced to accept a motion put down by Liberal Democrat MPs at his party’s spring conference condemning the reforms of Andrew Lansley, the Conservative Health Secretary.

The move is a severe embarrassment for Mr Clegg who has been battling to maintain a show of unity with Mr Cameron over spending cuts and other Coalition policies, such as raising university tuition fees, which are unpopular with his party.

But despite pleas for unity, Mr Clegg faced an overwhelming Lib Dem rebellion against the health plans led by party veterans including Baroness Williams of Crosby, the former Liberal Democrat leader in the Lords.

So what will deputy PPP Nick do? Remain with his nose firmly rooted in Prime PPP Dave C’s rear exit or grow some gonads and tell his leader to go and play on the M4.

April will not be a good month

All 29 million workers in the UK could be in for a financial shock at the beginning of next month.

The charity Credit Action has identified 45 taxes and benefit changes which take effect on 6 April.

Many households will be hundreds of pounds a year worse off, with better-off families hit the hardest.

The average loss to families will be £200 a year, coming on top of a £680 loss after changes in January, which included the rise in VAT.

The figures were calculated by the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS).

The biggest change for most people next month will be income tax.

On the positive side, half a million people will be taken out of the tax bracket altogether.

That is because the amount anyone is allowed to earn before paying tax rises from £6,475 to £7,475.

But on the negative side, 750,000 more people will pay tax at the higher rate of 40%.

That is because the higher rate threshold has fallen from £43,875 to £42,475.

As far as National Insurance contributions are concerned, all 29 million employees in the UK will pay an extra 1%.

The employee contribution rate is rising from 11% to 12%.

But higher earners pay an additional rate as well.

Until now, employees had to earn over £844 a week to pay that additional rate.

But from 6 April, anyone earning more than £817 a week will pay.

And instead of the present 1% contribution rate, those higher earners will pay 2% instead.

Taking both the tax and NI changes into account, the IFS estimates than anyone earning more than £35,000 a year will be worse off.

But forget not-“we are all in this together”.

Right to a couple of the Nordic countries

Sweden and Denmark are set to roll out a new postal service whereby customers can pay for postage using text-messaging services on their cell phones.

Customers can simply send a text message to the post office and in a few seconds an automated reply will arrive with a special code. Write the code on the envelope where a stamp would normally go and you're done.

The cost of the stamp will appear on the customer's cellphone bill at the end of the month.

What a spiffing idea, no more trudging down to the kiosk in WH Smiths to spend fifteen minutes in the queue, or driving to Tesco where you can only buy 12 at a time, what is left of Royal Mail take note.

Katherine (middle of the road and future brood mare) Middleton’s see through dress is up for sale.

The see-through knitted lace dress was originally estimated to fetch £8,000-10,000 when it goes under the hammer on Thursday, but is likely to sell for far higher after generating intense interest from buyers around the world.

Miss Middleton wore the dress with black underwear beneath on the catwalk during a charity fashion show at the University of St Andrews in 2002.

Prince William was in the audience and the pair later became a couple while still at University. They are now due to marry at Westminster Abbey on April 29-fetch me a bucket.

Auctioneer Kerry Taylor said the huge interest reflected the 'Kate-mania' sweeping the world.

But she joked that the Prince has not called to make a bid for the dress himself yet.

Kate won’t find out about that little foible until after the wedding.

Dahn Unda

Ride-on lawn mower racing is becoming an increasingly popular sport, with about 30 drivers expected to compete at an event on the Sunshine Coast today.

Sunshine Coast Mower Racing Association president Gary Boegheim says male and female drivers will be competing at the Pomona show grounds.

The mowers can reach speeds of up to 100 kilometres per hour and Mr Boegheim says he loves the sport.

"I've been racing for 25 years now in different forms of motor sport; I got into mowers once I first got married and had a family," he said.

"I couldn't afford to keep racing speedway so I got on board with the mowers and it's cheap, its good fun and just something different."

And it keeps the grass down.

And finally:

Back halfway across the world to Blighty

A street cleaner had a lucky escape when he picked up a sack of rubbish – and found it contained unexploded hand grenades.

The sweeper was clearing up litter by the side of the road when he came across the discarded bag. He was just about to throw it into the wagon when he decided to have a look inside and discovered seven First World War grenades.

He immediately raised the alarm and the Army sent a team of bomb disposal experts, who carried out a series of controlled explosions in Chipstead, Surrey.

Last night, a Ministry of Defence spokesman said the discovery of the live weapons could have had “serious, fatal consequences”. A spokeswoman for Reigate and Banstead Borough Council said: “We commend our street cleansing team for their quick-witted response.”

Lucky that, change of underwear time.

That’s it: I’m orf to explode the Rover-in the name of art.

And today’s thought: I don't eat health foods at my age . . . I need all the preservatives I can get.

Angus