Happy Coalition Day?: Windy copper knob: Instant justice: The EU big brother: Dangerous haircut: and another YouTube snippet.

‘Tis brightish, warmish dampish and breezyish at the Castle this morn, the garden is growing faster than a Triffid and the kitchen is overflowing with “overheating” computers.

Is it the hot weather you may ask? And the answer is-sortish, what it is in truth is that “users” do not get their laptops/desktops serviced, and when it gets warm they notice that the cooling fan is running all the time and then the poor little machines cut out because of the “heat” and they phone the Castle in panic thinking that their expensive toys have died.

What it really is, is that fluff and pet hairs and detritus gets sucked into the fans and eventually it clogs up and stops which can in the worst scenario fry the processor and motherboard leading to very expensive replacements/repairs.

So, a hint to keyboard bangers-either get your computers serviced each year, or with a small vacuum cleaner on the lowest suck possible place the hose over the inlet/outlet to your fan for several seconds after switching said computer orf and clear the life threatening gunge, or an even better decision is to bring it to the Castle and I will do it for you at a very reasonable cost-well one has to pay for stale bread and gruel.

My second attempt at “sensible” blogging is up over at Orphans of Liberty if you can be bothered.

Today “we” celebrate one whole year of the U-Turn coalition in power.

And to mark the occasion, click on the link above and peruse the list of non targets, non promises and Piss Poor Policies which our revered leaders have managed to miss, introduce, un introduce and cancel.

Who says politics is boring…….

And zooming in on one member of the Coalition sideboard

Allegedly Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander, dubbed Beaker, was apparently unable to contain himself as he waited to do a TV interview.

He loudly broke wind before he was grilled at Millbank Studios, near Parliament, according to ­broadcasting insiders.

The incident is said to have happened last Friday as he tried to explain his party’s poll ­drubbing, with footage expected to surface online.

But a spokesman for Mr ­Alexander said yesterday: “This story is a lot of hot air.”

Let’s hope he didn’t “follow through”…. Then again…..

On the spot money maker

Police will be able to hand out on-the-spot fines for careless driving under a new strategy being launched to make Britain's roads safer.

Motorists, who tailgate, undertake or cut up other drivers could be handed an immediate fine - reportedly up to £100 - rather than being taken to court.

There will be a new crackdown on drug-driving and loopholes which allow people to get off drink-driving charges will be closed, said the Department for Transport (DfT).

Disqualified drivers will be forced to retrain - and possibly have to take another test - before they regain their licence.

And the courts will be encouraged to make more use of their powers to seize vehicles for the most serious offences.

But in a written statement to MPs today, Transport Secretary Philip Hammond will also announce a new approach to drivers who make genuine mistakes on the roads and extra help for those who have just passed their tests and need to keep improving their skills.

A wider range of retraining and education courses will be on offer for low-level offences.

And novice drivers will be able to take additional qualifications to reassure insurers that they are safe behind the wheel, in a bid to reverse the steep upward trend in premiums for less experienced motorists.

Yeah right….that’ll boost the coffers a fair bit, and how much will this Daft Old Fart’s insurance go up in July?

Going on your hols this year?

Millions of holidaymakers will have their personal details tracked on huge databases thanks to the latest EU diktat.

Countries will be expected to record air passengers’ information, including who they travelled with, the price they paid for a ticket, and even any meal requests they made.

EU member states would then be able to trawl their neighbours’ data to check for links to terrorism or other criminality.

Immigration Minister Damian Green admitted the directive would spark concerns about sovereignty, but insisted the databases would help to keep the UK safe.

However, Eurosceptics accused ministers of presiding over a ‘blizzard’ of ‘undemocratic’ opt-ins to controversial EU legislation.

The move follows anger over the Coalition’s decision last year to join the European Investigation Order, which allows member states to instruct British police to carry out spying missions on their behalf.

Under the latest measure – the Passenger Name Record directive – EU member states will be expected to gather all the information travellers provide to airlines when crossing borders.

This will include details held on the person’s passport as well as their payment card number, travel companions, seat number, onward flight itinerary, meal request and price of ticket.

The final form of the directive is still being hammered out, but it is expected every EU country would establish a so-called Passenger Information Unit. Data would be logged by the country a person left and the one in which they landed.

Nice-think I’ll stay in Blighty.

Dahn Unda

Nathan Van Someren, who plays for Victorian side Simpson Tigers, was told to leave the field in the third quarter of their match against Otway Districts at the weekend.

Tigers Co-coach Leigh Walsh told Fairfax Radio the reason given was "because his hair was too dangerous" and might have poked another player in the eye.

"I was just standing there and (the umpire) came across to me and goes, 'I thought I told you that you couldn't come on the ground'," Van Someren told Fairfax.

"I sort of just looked at him like 'what?' and he's like, 'no, I told you that you couldn't come on the ground with that hairstyle, you have to go off'."

Elfandsafety Aussie Rules style.

And finally:

Another YouTube snippet, this time a Kitten with a “dangerous” thing.

That’s it: I’m orf to check the grounds for Kiwis.

And today’s thought: Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosy... Doesn't try it on.-Billy Connolly

Angus