Risky Elfandsafety: Hard time: say What?: Crash test dummy: and Baa-limey! a £1.4 million sheep.

‘tis sunny, warmish and calm again at the Castle this morn, the replacement parts for the suicidal computers should arrive this day, all I have to do is summon up the courage to enter the study again.

The Virginia Creeper is in full flow, as are the wall boxes and the pots and the Honda has been cleaned and polished, glad I didn’t retire-what would I do?

Up in Northamptonshire

Police refused to raid a travellers’ camp where suspected thieves were hiding because the officers were worried about breaking health and safety rules.

They declined to enter the camp and seize the van, insisting that they first had to carry out a “risk assessment”.

Northamptonshire Police yesterday admitted that no arrests had been made and that the vehicle and stolen property had not yet been seized following the alleged burglary on Sunday.

Allegedly detectives are investigating the matter and have now taken a full statement from the victim. A complaint has been made by the victim about the decision not to recover the vehicle and this also is being investigated.

“We are reviewing whether the decision made was proportionate to the information we had been given.”

Bollocks.....

Dahn in Welsh Wales

An addendum to yesterday’s item: inmates are threatening legal action because they only get one Sky Sports channel in their cells.

The luvvies have complained that not having other channels breaches their human rights.

One of the matches they missed out on was Manchester City’s victory over Everton on Sky Sports 2.

David Davies, MP for Monmouth, said: “What next? A box at the Millennium Stadium? I haven’t got Sky TV.”

Bosses at Parc jail in Bridgend, said Sky TV was a “privilege” for good behaviour.

More bollocks...

Remember those exams taken back at the dawn of time?

Click on the link above for the full list of “interesting” answers.

A small selection:

H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, veins and caterpillars.


The total is when you add up all the numbers and the remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his sleigh.

A line is a length of breath.

A centimetre is an insect with a hundred legs.

Symmetry is a place where you bury dead people.

If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angle.

And my favourite: The Prime Minister has the power of disillusion.

Seems to be a bollocks day.....

Over in the land of well made motors

A 77-year-old motorist wrote off five brand new cars in a showroom while she was trying to take one out for a test drive.

Marlies Schiller shot backwards and forwards across the Volkswagen garage in Apolda, Germany, ploughing through everything in her path.

Her £150,000 destruction derby only came to halt when she smashed through a display window and hit a parked car outside, say police.

"The coffee machine seems to be the only thing she missed," said a police spokesman.

Hope they carried out a risk assessment....

And finally:

East more than a multitude of non metric units

This year's prize bauble in China is a £1.4 million sheep bred in the ancient Silk Road city of Kashgar.

Only 1,000 Dolan sheep exist in the world, according to breeders, and their extraordinary features have made them the latest collectors' item for ultra-rich Chinese.

"Big bosses come here in their luxury cars and load the sheep into the back seat," said Liu Fenghua, a 48-year-old sheep breeder in the city of Aksu, in the far western region of Xinjiang.

"Usually the bosses are Uighur Muslims who have made their money in the sheep industry and want a prize sheep for a pet," he added.

No wonder mutton is so bloody expensive.

That’s it: I’m orf to educate my windows. 

And today’s thought: LOL or . . . I don't want to talk anymore.

 Angus