Broken chips: Paper power: Groin ball: Watching paint dry: Pandabare: and Simple French.

Moist and muggy at the Castle this morn, just got back from Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run-the place was absolutely heaving (before seven of the am) with lunatics grabbing everything in sight and filling up two or three trolleys, and they will be open again just after Crimbo. 

As our beloved Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is on its Crimbo hols there is no one to take the piss out of so a truncated post this ‘two sleeps’ to go morn.

So a bit of science to start with. 

 “Scientists” across the pond have come up with ‘self healing chips’

Electronic that is not the starchy kind; they have created a circuit that heals itself when cracked thanks to the release of liquid metal which restores conductivity.

The process takes less than the blink of an eye to bring the circuit back to use.

The researchers said that their work could eventually lead to longer-lasting gadgets as well as solving one of the big problems of interplanetary travel.

The work was carried out by a team of scientists and engineers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and is published in the journal Advanced Materials.

I hope they solder on with it..... 

And:

Over to the East more than a whimsy

Sony has unveiled a paper-powered battery prototype in Japan.

The technology generates electricity by turning shredded paper into sugar which in turn is used as fuel.

If brought to market, the innovation could allow the public to top up the power of their mobile devices using waste material.

The Japanese electronics giant showed off its invention at the Eco-Products exhibition in Tokyo last week.

Employees invited children to drop piece of paper and cardboard into a liquid made up of water and enzymes, and then to shake it. The equipment was connected to a small fan which began spinning a few minutes later.

The process works by using the enzyme cellulase to decompose the materials into glucose sugar. These were then combined with oxygen and further enzymes which turned the material into electrons and hydrogen ions.

The electrons were used by the battery to generate electricity, water and the acid gluconolactone, which is commonly used in cosmetics, were created as by-products.

Finally found a use for all the junk mail that vomits through the portcullis.

Still in the land of surprise attacks

Groin Ball is a game that supposedly originated in Japan, is played by men, and obviously involves the hitting of man veg.

Two teams involved in a game of Groin Ball each consist of two players – a ball thrower and a target player. The target players of each team face each other, holding on to the other’s shoulders. Their feet need to be shoulder-width apart, all through the game. A supply of tennis balls is provided to each of the throwers, who have to hurl them between the legs of the target players, aiming of course, at the groin. The balls hit the ground and then bounce up to smash into the groin of the opposing target player.

Sounds like a load of old bollocks to me……

And back in ballsed up Blighty

The excitement is growing for the wondrous event to take place next year, no not the overpriced Olympics but the first ever World Watching Paint Dry Championships:

A spokesman for the organisers LocalTraders.com said: 'We’ve all heard the phrase, "I’d rather watch paint dry" and so we have decided the time has come to give people the chance to do so, for as long as they can bear.

'You don’t need to be physically fit or participate in a vigorous training regime, what’s more important is mental strength, concentration and endurance.

'Previous paint-watching experience isn’t essential, but a bit of practice might help prepare contestants for the mammoth task ahead of them.'

Watching paint dry on a mammoth; that does sound exciting....anyway if the idea of watching dulux harden floats your boat you can sign up Here.

Back across the salty thing on the left

A west Florida community is spending $3,800 in tax dollars to entice naked Germans to spend their summer vacations there.

The advertising grant was awarded Tuesday by the Pasco County commission to Pandabare, a local nudist organization representing 16 resorts, campgrounds and clubs located in the largely rural county north of Tampa.

The ads, to be placed in European publications, will promote the county's longstanding reputation as the nudist capital of America.

"The idea is to create a Euro-bird season in July and August which are our worst two months of the year," said Eric Keaton, public communications manager for the Pasco County tourist development agency. Keaton said nudism contributes to the county's economy, but he had no figures to quantify its impact.

The first target market for the ad campaign will be Germany which, according to Pandabare's application, is "a large and lucrative market whose millions of nudists are among the world's most prolific travellers." The group also anticipates a campaign aimed at British nudists.

Roll on next July then....but whatever you do don’t go to the Pandabare site...

And finally:

Over to the right a bit

An official body that includes government ministers and a representative of the Academie Francaise, the eminent French language institution, issued a new set of rules to simplify the spellings of many words, either to bring them in line with pronunciation or to eliminate exceptions.

The changes were made in 1990 — but French media are just getting wind of them.

For example, "aout" (August) drops the pointy circumflex accent over the "u''. "Baby-sitter" gets Frenchified into "babysitteur." Bonhomie, which has come into English with that spelling, becomes bonhommie — to reflect its root "homme" (man).

Both the new and old spellings remain acceptable, but the new ones are supposed to be taught in schools, so they will eventually — in theory — replace the old.

Unfortunately few people seem to know about them, many are opposed, and most school texts don't use the new spellings. Even the Academie Francaise itself has chosen to include only some of the new spellings at the end of its dictionary — explaining that it would like to wait it out and see which spellings are adopted in general usage before giving its official blessing.

When television stations became aware of the "new" rules last month, they sent reporters out into the streets to test the French. Very few identified the new spellings as the correct ones — they all looked so strange! — Though frequent, significant hesitations underscored how difficult even the French find it to spell their own words.

I have enough trouble with English spelling, vive la coquilles.

That’s it: I’m orf to update my login

And today’s thought:

Angus