Cupid Stunt day-How not to catch a gator: Oil be buggered: A Papple: Dog poo squad: Invisible art: and Magnum morons.

Cold, damp, drear and decidedly dodgy at the Castle this morn, the router seems to be routing again, his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from under the side table and the Honda is covered in yellow stuff.

And great news from my God Daughter who successfully produced a healthy female child on Thursday-I do feel old....

Over the salty thing on the left to the State above sarf Carolina

An American zoologist has been attacked by a 10ft-long alligator as he tried to capture it from beside a highway.

Fred Boyce, a specialist in amphibians and reptiles at Pine Knoll Shores Aquarium in North Carolina, was lucky not to lose his arm in the attack - which was caught on camera.

The 300lb beast was spotted by a passing motorist in Stacy, a small township located on the state's eastern coast.

US reports said a call was made to the aquarium asking for advice on how to handle it and on hearing about it Mr Boyce decided to head to the scene.

Once there, he has been quoted as saying he feared the alligator would be killed, so he decided to try moving it himself.

His strategy involved placing a towel over the animal's eyes, then approaching it from the rear - seemingly in a bid to grab its giant mouth before local fire-fighters pounced.

What a Cupid Stunt...

And talking of reptilian wildlife

Allegedly U-Turn Cam will hold talks with Barack Obama and other world leaders about tapping into emergency oil reserves in an effort to drive down petrol prices.

The Prime Monster will arrive today at a G8 summit in the US promising to help families "struggling with the impact of oil prices."

The summit, at the Camp David presidential retreat, will tomorrow discuss a US call for developed economies to release oil from their strategic reserves to try to bring down world oil prices.

According to shit for brains Dave "We must work together to give the world economy the one big stimulus that would really make a difference: an expansion of trade freedoms - breaking down the barriers to world trade and getting global trade moving again,"

Oh my; an even bigger cupid stunt....or two...or eight...

Dahn Unda and right a bit

There is a new delight for those who shop at M&S, someone has crossed a pear with a pear and the result is of course-the Papple, which tastes like an apple but looks like a......apple, but is in fact a pear...

The Papple is grown in New Zealand and is a cross between European and Asian pear varieties.

 

Third Cupid Stunt of the day...

And remaining on the cupid stunt theme

Up in smoke there is something to be very afraid of-A 22-man crack team unit employed to clean up the streets of London by targeting dog walkers who fall foul of pooper scoop laws.

The anti-poo wardens have been introduced by Islington Council in north London in an attempt to catch repeated dog foul offenders.

Members of the public are also being encouraged to 'shop a dropper' through a newly set-up hotline.

Islington Council's zero tolerance approach will see the Dog Squad patrol dog foul hot spots, issuing £80 fines to irresponsible dog owners.

The undercover poo patrol, thought to be the largest dog enforcement team of its kind in Britain, started its work earlier this month.

Islington Councillor Paul Smith said: 'Residents are sick of dog mess, and we're taking strong action against irresponsible owners.

Poo crimes and updates on penalties and patrols will be also be reported by the team on Twitter with the hash tag #thedogsquad.

Two football teams worth of Cupid Stunts...

 

Still in the Smoke

London's Hayward Gallery will gather together 50 ''invisible'' works by leading figures such as Andy Warhol, Yves Klein and Yoko Ono for its display of works you cannot actually see.

Gallery bosses say the £8 a head exhibition demonstrates how art is about ''firing the imagination'', rather than simply viewing objects. 

Invisible: Art about the Unseen 1957 - 2012 opens on June 12 and includes an empty plinth, a canvas of invisible ink and an unseen labyrinth.

Also in the exhibition will be Warhol's work Invisible Sculpture - dating from 1985 - which consists of an empty plinth, and 1000 Hours of Staring which is a blank piece of paper at which artist Tom Friedman has stared at repeatedly over the space of five years, and another by the same artist Untitled (A Curse) is an empty space which has been cursed by a witch.

Also featured among the exhibits will be a series of typed instructions by Ono, encouraging viewers to conjure up an artwork in their minds.

A trio of artistic Cupid stunts...

But here is some Angus invisible art;

A landscape which I thought about painting

And

A sculpture of a naked woman which I might have sculpted if I had the inclination...and the marble...

And finally:

Up a few imperial measures to the place where Folk are Nor

An RAF rescue helicopter made an unexpected beach landing - so the crew can buy ice cream.

The crew members were spotted emerging from their aircraft on the sand at Winterton-on-Sea, Norfolk.

Worried beachgoers watched as they headed towards the shoreline and then pop into Winterton Dunes Beach Cafe.

Owner of five years Carmel Shiggins said she had never seen the helicopter land there before.

She said when people asked why they'd landed they didn't believe her.

She said: "People had been coming in asking what they were doing, was there an emergency? And I said no, they come in for an ice cream."

Owner of five years Carmel Shiggins said she had never seen the helicopter land there before.

She said when people asked why they'd landed they didn't believe her.

She said: "People had been coming in asking what they were doing, was there an emergency? And I said no, they come in for an ice cream."

Cafe assistant, Francis Ford, 18 said he asked what was up and one crew member said "We're all entitled to a tea break".

Cupid stunt award of the day....

That’s it: I’m orf to stuff some Memristors into the laptop.

And today’s thought:

A conundrum of Cupid Stunts

Angus