What’s his name hedges his bets: Up your Leccy bill: Over populated-over here: Hornsea hoo-ha: Incredible Bulk: Big Apple water cafe: and IKEA beer.

At the Castle this morn-the sun is out, the sky is blue, there’s not a cloud to spoil the view but it’s.....not going to last.

Allegedly as the golden cheese grater makes its seemingly endless journey to the temporary big round thing next to the big red helter skelter the ‘wevver’ is going to go tits up-again. 

Just got back from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, prices are still rising and the cost of cheese seems to be soaring in inverse proportion to the pittance paid to dairy farmers and are allegedly set to rise even more due to the piss poor atmospheric conditions over the last month or two.

 And the interweb thingy is bollixed up-again...

U-Turn cam’s fag

Otherwise known as what’s his name reckons that his party would do its “duty” if Labour won the most seats but fell short of a Commons majority in 2015.

There have been rumours that Mr Clegg could stand down before the next election to take a job as an EU commissioner.

But he insisted that he could work with Labour’s leader, Ed Miliband, and that “personal likes and dislikes” were irrelevant.

However, he boasted of a series of policy successes in government, including raising the income tax threshold for the lowest paid workers and providing more money for disadvantaged schoolchildren.

And if you believe that you should go and see your GP immediately.....

According to some members of the leaning tower of Westminster

Households will pay too much for their electricity bills because of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition’s botched energy reforms.

The Commons energy and climate change committee found that plans to encourage companies to build wind farms and nuclear plants were too expensive and executed poorly. Under the reforms, households would subsidise the construction of low-carbon power plants through their energy bills.

The Government would fix the price of electricity in an attempt to make it affordable.

It will raise the cost of bills by about £100 over the next decade, according to Government estimates.

However, the Treasury has backed out of providing an official state guarantee for the reforms, meaning it will cost more for companies to borrow money to fund the projects.

The Department of Energy and Climate Change has defended the reforms.

Edward Davey, the Energy Secretary, insisted that his Bill would give households “secure, low-carbon, affordable energy”.

And if you believe that..........

Still in salty Blighty

Apparently there are more than 275,000 failed migrants who need to be removed from the country according to the home affairs committee.

Allegedly the backlog of UK Border Agency (UKBA) cases awaiting resolution was "now equivalent to the entire population of Newcastle upon Tyne".

The committee said the backlog included:

At least 150,000 migrants who had been refused permission to stay in the UK

21,000 asylum cases

3,900 foreign offenders living in the community

57 foreign criminals released in 2006 without being considered for deportation and who had not yet been traced

80,000 asylum applications and 21,500 immigration cases in the "controlled archive" of cases where the UKBA had lost track of the applicant

Responding to the report's recommendations, the Home Office spokesman said: "Talented students are welcome in the UK, but we have introduced new powers to toughen up the system, keeping out the fraudulent and unqualified while ensuring genuine students continue to benefit from our excellent educational facilities."

Yeah right.

Up to the Norf-ish bit of our sunny land

A holiday beach was cordoned off after a landslip sent more than 1,000 deadly bombs and rockets embedded in the cliffs for more 60 years tumbling onto the sands.

The East Riding beach of Mappleton, near Hornsea, was used as a practice bombing range during the Second World War - but the bad weather has led to ground movement which exposed one of the biggest arsenals ever uncovered yesterday.

The fins of many of the bombs have been left sticking out of the mud and rock which has fallen onto the beach.

A 24-hour guard has been placed on the beach by Humberside Police amid fears that children may be tempted to pick up a "trophy" during the school holidays.

An Army Bomb Disposal team from North Yorkshire's Catterick Army Base has also been called in to clear the beach over the next few days.

The Army experts are hoping to remove some of the smaller items but some will have to be blown up on site in controlled explosions, Humber Coastguard said.

They include rockets, mortar bombs and 25-pounder bombs which were all fired into the cliffs by RAF aircraft during the war years and have been there ever since.

Maybe they should send the on holiday again MPs to pick them up.....

From the Dark Continent comes-the incredible Bulk

Obviously not from east Africa....

Over the even saltier thing than food

In the big apple New York City opens its first water-only café, selling only tap water for a $1 a cup.

The café's co-owner Adam Ruhf told Reuters that their water is cleaner and healthier than regular tap water, with no trace of any chemical or mineral compounds.

Apparently there is a very complicated purifying system situated behind the bar. The purifying system strips the cities tap water down to its molecular level - hence the Cafe's name Molecule,

"It's a seven stage filtration process going through KDF (Kinetic Degradation Fluxion), magnetic and catalytic, active-carbon-five-micron reverse osmosis, UV and ozone treatments," Ruhf explained.

And for the extra healthy customers, the café offers a wide range of supplements that customers can add to their drinks for a dollar each.

The mind boggles.

And finally:

Right more than a few imperial miles

IKEA has started selling beer.

The Swedish furniture store has launched two beers, a dark lager and a regular brew which are currently only available in the UK but is set to be rolled out world-wide in August.

Brewed by IKEA themselves, the dark lager 'ÖL MÖRK LAGER' and the lighter alternative 'ÖL LJUS LAGER' both retail for £1.75 and have a 4.7% ABV. Both bottle feature the famous blue and yellow logo.

Which will give those male “partners” a spiffing excuse when the flat pack shelves turn out looking like a bonfire.

That’s it: I’m orf to kick a dwarf------star

And today’s thought:

Duckess of Cornwall Olympics

Angus