Old fart’s fault: Henry’s party tips: Warm bike: Paranormal Madagascar: We’re all Doomed: and up and dahn in Paris.

Dark, damp, dubious and dodgy at the Castle this morn, taken the last of my anti falling dahn and laying in vomit pills, orf to see my general medic at 8.30 0f the am for a refill.

 

According to “expert economists” infesting the Bonk Of Blighty

Old farts are to blame for everything, at a hearing in the House of Lords, “experts” from a London University and the Bank of England said that politicians will have made “winners” of older people and “losers” of younger people.

They said a combination of high house prices, rising government debt, unemployment and more expensive education mean young people are getting a raw deal compared with their parents and grand-parents.

“Current young people will be contributors to the public purse, whereas older generations haven’t,” said Professor James Sefton, an academic at Imperial College.

Said Prof reckons that those who are not old farts “should be angry and thinks the deal they are getting is poor,” he said. “There are a lot of transfers going on in the system that are from the young towards the old. The awareness of it is very poor but it will come out.”

And Dr Martin Weale, a member of the Bank of England’s monetary policy committee, said Britain will need to save more money in the medium-term to pay for the rising cost of the NHS and pensions, as people live longer and get more demanding.

Lord Bichard, a former senior Whitehall official, said older people should be less of a "negative burden on society" and face penalties like losing benefits if they do not “contribute”.

The ex-permanent secretary in the Department of Education and former chief of the Benefits Agency, said the elderly should get rewards and fines to make sure they are taking a more active part in their communities.

“Older people who are not very old could be making a very useful contribution to civil society if they were given some incentive or recognition for doing so.

“We’re prepared to say to people if you’re not looking for work, you don’t get a benefit. If you’re old and you’re not contributing in some way, maybe there should be some penalty attached to that. These debates never seem to take place.

 

On behalf of all old farts I would to say sorry to all those not of old fart status; sorry for working my nuts orf for fucking decades paying for your education and health service, sorry for paying 33% income fucking tax, sorry for paying 12 fucking percent mortgage rates, sorry for bringing you up so that you can live in our homes until you are forty fucking years old before you get orf your arses and find somewhere to live, sorry for feeding you, clothing you, keeping you safe and taxi-ing you around for fucking years, sorry for expecting you to do the decent thing and look after the elderly who actually know what poverty really is, sorry you voted in the fuckwits that have lied over Uni fees and sorry for living so fucking long.

 

East to the land of Afghans

Allegedly the Prince of 'take em from behind' and danglers has been entertaining Army pals in Afghanistan by reading out extracts from Pippa Middleton’s new book on throwing parties containing how to play skittles with a pumpkin at Halloween and recipes for Bonfire Night by Pippa. 29.

Pippa’s book — out on Thursday priced £25 — is subtitled A Year Of British Festivities For Family And Friends. She is believed to have signed a £400,000 deal for her ideas, based on experiences working at her parents’ online firm Party Pieces.

Interesting; I didn’t know Harry could read, it is rumoured that he has ‘A’ levels in art and geography which does make him qualified to colour in maps....

 

Back over to the land of wacky baccy and water

Towns in the Netherlands are considering a proposal to heat cycle lanes to encourage greater use of bicycles in winter.

The town of Zutphen in the east of the country is awaiting the result of a preliminary assessment before it embarks on a feasibility study next year.

The province of Utrecht is also considering the scheme.

The Netherlands has an estimated 18m bicycles for a population of less than 17m. There is more than 35,000km of cycle paths in the country.

The scheme proposes to use geo-thermal energy to prevent ice forming.

The idea has been provisionally costed at 20-40,000 Euros per kilometre (£26-52,000 per mile).

But the man behind the proposal, Marcel Boerefijn, said there would be savings from fewer accidents, less salt needed to grit roads and reduced car expenses.

Mr Boerefijn said it was possible that the final net cost would be less than putting straw down on the paths.

Arien de Jong, a spokeswoman for the Dutch Cyclists Unions said: "We are very excited about the heated paths, because they could prevent so much misery. If cycle lanes are frozen over for four weeks, that results in about 7,000 more accidents involving cyclists.

 

I’m exited too-not...

 

Back in horrific Blighty

Petrified children fled a cinema in tears after bungling staff screened a horror movie instead of a family cartoon.

Dozens of excited youngsters ate popcorn with their parents as they waited for fun film Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted to start.

But their joy soon turned into utter horror when a dopey projectionist accidentally played chilling movie, Paranormal Activity 4.

The film opened with a flashback to the first Paranormal Activity – featuring a woman’s bloodied corpse being hurled at the big screen.

Natasha Lewis, who took her eight-year-old son Dylan Lewis-Gray to last Saturday’s 10am screening, slammed cinema bosses for the mistake.

The 32-year-old, from Bulwell, Notts, said: “I’m disgusted about it. I thought something didn’t look right when the film started.

"It was only about two minutes worth of the film but it was enough to scar the ­children for life.

“It’s a terrifying scene where a body shoots towards the camera. It’s enough to make grown men jump – imagine the terror for these kids.”

Around 25 families scrambled for the exit of the Cineworld theatre in Nottingham when they realised the movie was not Madagascar 3.

Natasha added: “All you could hear were children crying and screaming. Everyone was upset.

“I’ve watched a few horror films in my time – Paranormal Activity ones are the scariest since The Exorcist.

“Dylan doesn’t want to set foot in the cinema again.”

 

That’ll save on days out then.....

 

And according to “experts” we are all doomed

Apparently if we don't solve the problem of Fukushima reactor No. 4, which is on the verge of a catastrophic failure that could unleash enough radiation to end human civilization on our planet.

The resulting releasing of radiation would turn North America into a "dead zone" for humans... mutated (and failed) crops, radioactive groundwater, skyrocketing infant mortality, an explosion in cancer and infertility... this is what could be unleashed at any moment from an earthquake in Japan. Such an event could result in the release of 85 times the Cesium-137 released by the Chernobyl catastrophe, say experts (see below). And the Chernobyl catastrophe made its surrounding regions uninhabitable by humans for centuries.

"It is no exaggeration to say that the fate of Japan and the whole world depends on No.4 reactor." - Mitsuhei Murata, Former Japanese Ambassador to Switzerland and Senegal, Executive Director, the Japan Society for Global System and Ethics

Here's how this could happen, according to Mr. Robert Alvarez, former Senior Policy Adviser to the Secretary and Deputy Assistant Secretary for National Security and the Environment at the U.S. Department of Energy:

"The No. 4 pool is about 100 feet above ground, is structurally damaged and is exposed to the open elements. If an earthquake or other event were to cause this pool to drain this could result in a catastrophic radiological fire involving nearly 10 times the amount of Cs-137 released by the Chernobyl accident. The infrastructure to safely remove this material was destroyed as it was at the other three reactors. Spent reactor fuel cannot be simply lifted into the air by a crane as if it were routine cargo. In order to prevent severe radiation exposures, fires and possible explosions, it must be transferred at all times in water and heavily shielded structures into dry casks. As this has never been done before, the removal of the spent fuel from the pools at the damaged Fukushima-Dai-Ichi reactors will require a major and time-consuming re-construction effort and will be charting in unknown waters." (http://www.nuc.berkeley.edu/forum/218/nuclear-expert-fukushima-spent-...)

Note: He says "10 times" the Cesium-137 of Chernobyl. Others say up to 85 times. Nobody is 100% certain of what would actually occur because this has never happened before. We are in uncharted territory as a civilization, facing a unique and imminent threat to our continued survival. And both governments and the corporations that assured us nuclear power was safe are playing their "cover my ass" games while the world waits in the crosshairs of a nuclear apocalypse.


Spiffing... I’m more worried about paying the gas bill.....

 

And finally:

 

Over the wet thing below the Sarf coast

 

Architects have created an interesting design for a possible new bridge in Paris … it consists of three inflatable doughnut trampolines.
The bizarre design was created as a response to an ideas competition for a new bridge in Pari - which will add to the 37 bridges which already cross the Seine.

A spokesperson for design firm Atelier Zündel Cristea said: "It appears to us that Paris has the bridges and passages necessary for the flow of vehicular and pedestrian traffic across its waterways.

"Our intention is to invite its visitors and inhabitants to engage on a newer and more playful path across this same water. We propose, now, a distinctive urban feature: an inflatable bridge equipped with giant trampolines, dedicated to the joyful release from gravity as one bounces above the river.

 

Elfandsafety nightmare...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to cancel my holiday to California

 

And today’s thought:

 

 

Angus