Public shock treatment: Bishettes: Dorries stuck Dahn Unda: Chinese puzzle: The Last Ninja: and a $4.2 million Crimbo “tree”.

Masses of skywater, more atmospheric movement, meagre amounts of lack of cold and a minimum of solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the butler is inserting fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace on his new conveyer belt and his Maj has decided that my head is a nice warm place to sleep during the dark thing.

 

All across defibrillated Blighty

More than 1,300 emergency heart devices in public places like shopping centres may not work because of a battery fault, warns a UK health regulator.

According to The Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency says first aiders should check their Samaritan PAD 300/300P defibrillators.

The company was alerted about the fault by person who noticed a problem when they were doing a routine spot check of the equipment.

They can turn on or off when not in use, draining the battery.

No other HeartSine Technologies Ltd automated external defibrillator products are affected.

 

The following serial number ranges are affected with one or both of the identified faults:

0400000501 to 0700032917 inclusive

08A00035000 to 10A00070753 inclusive

10C00200000 to 10C00210318 inclusive

These were distributed around the UK between August 2004 and December 2010 with a warranted life of up to seven years.

 

Or not, as the case may be....let’s hope there is an AA guy selling expensive “”memberships” when your old ticker goes tits up while out buying Crimbo presents.

 

 

Last night I tried to watch Question Time

And the first fifteen minutes (one quarter) of the “programme” was wasted on a pointless ‘massderbate’ on whether we should have Bishops without dangly bits.

Allegedly only 12 percent of Blighty’s sinners attend those large, cold, empty buildings with bells on regularly; which means that 88 percent of us don’t give a cardinal’s cock who flounces about in a long red frock pursued by small boys with long white frocks.

 I am all for those who wish to believe in a “Deity” that may or may not exist, and I am 100 percent in favour of believers who want to save themselves from fire and brimstone by attending church, synagogue, mosque or any other centre of wishful thinking.

 

But, please, please don’t expose me to your faiths, hopes and lack of charity which is prevalent in the very small minority of “look at me I am holy” bum holes who seem to think that the next world is far more important than what is left of this one.

 

But one interesting fact I did discover is that the Irritable Bowel Twins (Iain Duncan Smith) is a practising Catholic; which does explain a lot about his Piss Poor Policies at the Dept of Witless Pillocks (DWP).

 

Dahn Unda

Nadger Nadine is in even more bovver with the Con party than she was before, it seems that dumbed dahn Dorries who is currently staying in a luxury five-star hotel in Australia after she became the first contestant to be voted off the ITV reality television show on Wednesday night may be contractually obliged by ITV to remain there while the game-show is on for another fortnight.

A spokesman for ITV said they would know by this morning whether Ms Dorries will stay in Australia or not for the remainder of the show.

 

Should have read the fine print; personally I would like to see the bollock chewing nearly ex-MP kept in the outback until she finally grows up and finds herself a proper job”.

 

East to the land where everything came from

Construction workers in China have built a new road around a five-storey apartment block after two residents refused to leave.

Construction workers in the country's Zhejiang province surrounded their five-storey building with asphalt, leaving motorists to navigate an unlikely obstacle.

China's People's Daily newspaper said the couple refused to leave because they were unhappy with the compensation package they were offered.

Their neighbours are understood to have moved on, although some of their apartments have been left standing.

Once complete, the highway through Xiazhangyang village, on China's eastern coast, will lead to Wenling railway station, which is served by China's super-fast bullet trains.

 

But the good news is that they will excellent access to the chuff-chuff network...

 

Over a whimsy to the land of not a jot of radiation

 

Apparently Japan's era of shoguns and samurai is over, but the country does have one, or maybe two, surviving ninjas.

Ninjas passed skills from father to son - but today's say they will be the last.

Japan's ninjas were all about mystery. Hired by noble samurai warriors to spy, sabotage and kill, their dark outfits usually covered everything but their eyes, leaving them virtually invisible in shadow - until they struck.

Ninjas were also famed swordsmen. They used their weapons not just to kill but to help them climb stone walls, to sneak into a castle or observe their enemies.

Most of their missions were secret so there are very few official documents detailing their activities. Their tools and methods were passed down for generations by word of mouth.

Using weapons such as shuriken, a sharpened star-shaped projectile, and the fukiya blowpipe, they were silent but deadly.

 

I’ve had more than a few of those but luckily I have my Deoest fart proof draws.

 

And finally:

 

Still in the place where nothing glows in the dark

A jewellery store in downtown Tokyo has a pure gold revolving "tree" covered in Disney characters such as Mickey Mouse, Tinker Bell and Cinderella.

The tree-like ornament is made of 40 kg (88 pounds) of pure gold, standing about 2.4 meters (7.9 ft) high and 1.2 meters in diameter. It is decorated with pure gold plate silhouette cut outs of 50 popular Disney characters and draped with ribbons made of gold leaf.

The price tag? A mere 350 million yen ($4.2 million).

 

 Or if things are a bit tight you could have a scaled dahn version for just $243,000, which in “proper” money is about the same as you will pay for a non-fungus infected wooden one.

  

That’s it: I’m orf to have a squeeze of a rocky exoplanet, or two.

 

And today’s thought:

Just like home

 

Angus