What’s his name hedges his bets: Up your Leccy bill: Over populated-over here: Hornsea hoo-ha: Incredible Bulk: Big Apple water cafe: and IKEA beer.

At the Castle this morn-the sun is out, the sky is blue, there’s not a cloud to spoil the view but it’s.....not going to last.

Allegedly as the golden cheese grater makes its seemingly endless journey to the temporary big round thing next to the big red helter skelter the ‘wevver’ is going to go tits up-again. 

Just got back from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, prices are still rising and the cost of cheese seems to be soaring in inverse proportion to the pittance paid to dairy farmers and are allegedly set to rise even more due to the piss poor atmospheric conditions over the last month or two.

 And the interweb thingy is bollixed up-again...

U-Turn cam’s fag

Otherwise known as what’s his name reckons that his party would do its “duty” if Labour won the most seats but fell short of a Commons majority in 2015.

There have been rumours that Mr Clegg could stand down before the next election to take a job as an EU commissioner.

But he insisted that he could work with Labour’s leader, Ed Miliband, and that “personal likes and dislikes” were irrelevant.

However, he boasted of a series of policy successes in government, including raising the income tax threshold for the lowest paid workers and providing more money for disadvantaged schoolchildren.

And if you believe that you should go and see your GP immediately.....

According to some members of the leaning tower of Westminster

Households will pay too much for their electricity bills because of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition’s botched energy reforms.

The Commons energy and climate change committee found that plans to encourage companies to build wind farms and nuclear plants were too expensive and executed poorly. Under the reforms, households would subsidise the construction of low-carbon power plants through their energy bills.

The Government would fix the price of electricity in an attempt to make it affordable.

It will raise the cost of bills by about £100 over the next decade, according to Government estimates.

However, the Treasury has backed out of providing an official state guarantee for the reforms, meaning it will cost more for companies to borrow money to fund the projects.

The Department of Energy and Climate Change has defended the reforms.

Edward Davey, the Energy Secretary, insisted that his Bill would give households “secure, low-carbon, affordable energy”.

And if you believe that..........

Still in salty Blighty

Apparently there are more than 275,000 failed migrants who need to be removed from the country according to the home affairs committee.

Allegedly the backlog of UK Border Agency (UKBA) cases awaiting resolution was "now equivalent to the entire population of Newcastle upon Tyne".

The committee said the backlog included:

At least 150,000 migrants who had been refused permission to stay in the UK

21,000 asylum cases

3,900 foreign offenders living in the community

57 foreign criminals released in 2006 without being considered for deportation and who had not yet been traced

80,000 asylum applications and 21,500 immigration cases in the "controlled archive" of cases where the UKBA had lost track of the applicant

Responding to the report's recommendations, the Home Office spokesman said: "Talented students are welcome in the UK, but we have introduced new powers to toughen up the system, keeping out the fraudulent and unqualified while ensuring genuine students continue to benefit from our excellent educational facilities."

Yeah right.

Up to the Norf-ish bit of our sunny land

A holiday beach was cordoned off after a landslip sent more than 1,000 deadly bombs and rockets embedded in the cliffs for more 60 years tumbling onto the sands.

The East Riding beach of Mappleton, near Hornsea, was used as a practice bombing range during the Second World War - but the bad weather has led to ground movement which exposed one of the biggest arsenals ever uncovered yesterday.

The fins of many of the bombs have been left sticking out of the mud and rock which has fallen onto the beach.

A 24-hour guard has been placed on the beach by Humberside Police amid fears that children may be tempted to pick up a "trophy" during the school holidays.

An Army Bomb Disposal team from North Yorkshire's Catterick Army Base has also been called in to clear the beach over the next few days.

The Army experts are hoping to remove some of the smaller items but some will have to be blown up on site in controlled explosions, Humber Coastguard said.

They include rockets, mortar bombs and 25-pounder bombs which were all fired into the cliffs by RAF aircraft during the war years and have been there ever since.

Maybe they should send the on holiday again MPs to pick them up.....

From the Dark Continent comes-the incredible Bulk

Obviously not from east Africa....

Over the even saltier thing than food

In the big apple New York City opens its first water-only café, selling only tap water for a $1 a cup.

The café's co-owner Adam Ruhf told Reuters that their water is cleaner and healthier than regular tap water, with no trace of any chemical or mineral compounds.

Apparently there is a very complicated purifying system situated behind the bar. The purifying system strips the cities tap water down to its molecular level - hence the Cafe's name Molecule,

"It's a seven stage filtration process going through KDF (Kinetic Degradation Fluxion), magnetic and catalytic, active-carbon-five-micron reverse osmosis, UV and ozone treatments," Ruhf explained.

And for the extra healthy customers, the café offers a wide range of supplements that customers can add to their drinks for a dollar each.

The mind boggles.

And finally:

Right more than a few imperial miles

IKEA has started selling beer.

The Swedish furniture store has launched two beers, a dark lager and a regular brew which are currently only available in the UK but is set to be rolled out world-wide in August.

Brewed by IKEA themselves, the dark lager 'ÖL MÖRK LAGER' and the lighter alternative 'ÖL LJUS LAGER' both retail for £1.75 and have a 4.7% ABV. Both bottle feature the famous blue and yellow logo.

Which will give those male “partners” a spiffing excuse when the flat pack shelves turn out looking like a bonfire.

That’s it: I’m orf to kick a dwarf------star

And today’s thought:

Duckess of Cornwall Olympics

Angus

A decade of Cupid Stunts: Liar, liar: Spider, spider: Numpty storage: Pay up Berlin: and a cow bell ban.

More of the same at the Castle this morn-wet/dry, calm/windy, cold/cold and sunny/cloudy, no progress on fettling the garden but I did manage to remove several weeks of grime from the Honda with some “no water” cleaner/polish stuff and....an hour later it rained.....

According to the Eton dorm boy

We will have the pleasure of living with ‘austerity’ until 2020, the Prime Monster reckons that the programme of spending cuts, initially planned to take five years, is now likely to last for the entire decade.

But, in a typical Tory tosspot way he said “that he still wants to cut tax but that any reductions would have to be funded by even greater public spending reductions.”

And added; “Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t cut people’s taxes...You can do exciting and radical and Conservative things at the same time as having difficult overall spending choices.”

As well as “He does not believe that Britain should leave the EU and says he will never campaign for an “out” vote in any referendum.”

And finally; “I think the sense I get from people is, look, 'I know you’ve got to cut public spending, I know you’ve got to get the deficit down, I know you’ve got to make sure our businesses are competitive, I know you’ve got to do all these things, but I want to know that as we get out of this mess, it won’t be the same group of people that benefited in the past. There won’t be a splurge of public spending, mass immigration, wasted money on welfare, bankers paying themselves enormous salaries when they’re not delivering safe and effective banks. I want to know that in future a hard day’s work means a hard day’s pay.’”

 

Har bleedin har.....

And staying with the lying git

In a speech in March U-Turn Cam said: “We need to look at innovative approaches to the funding of our national roads – to increase investment to reduce congestion. Road tolling is one option – but we are only considering this for new, not existing. For example, we’re looking at how improvements to the A14 could be part-funded through tolling”

And one of today’s headlines-Motorists face paying tolls on an existing stretch of road in Britain for the first time under new plans.

Ministers have proposed to impose tolls for using an “enhanced” 20-mile section of the A14 in Cambridgeshire, the increasingly congested key road linking the East Anglian ports to the Midlands by freight traffic. Along with the new privately run road, two new sections will be built on either side for local traffic.

 

Make your own minds up.

Over the briny to the left

 A Brentwood, Tennessee woman says she wants out of her apartment lease because her home is infested with brown recluse spiders.

In the past couple of weeks alone spider traps around her apartment have collected about ten of the poisonous pests. The spiders have been showing up since April.

"I was leaning over my sink, and I grabbed my towel. And there was just this ginormous spider in my towel that I was about to put on my face," Artrip said.

When more kept coming, Artrip notified the management at her apartment complex, Mission Brentwood.

"I asked as soon as I found out they were poisonous spiders if I could switch apartments, and they told me, 'no, let us try to take care of it,'" Artrip says.

A pest control company told Artrip she would have to leave so they could dust the area, but that still didn't do the trick.

Nasty....

 

Still in the home of the Numpty and the land of lots of teeth

 A burglar has been arrested in the US after he got his head stuck under a garage door - for nine hours.

The man, 53, tried to hold open the roll-up door with a piece of metal during his midnight raid on a store in Brockton, Massachusetts.

But the metal slipped and the heavy door rolled down, trapping the would-be thief's head against the concrete floor, reports the local Enterprise newspaper.

He was discovered the next morning by store manager John Rodriguez who says the man told him he was trying to fix the door.

"I happened to walk in and he was there," he said. "I saw that little head sticking out."

Mr Rodriguez called the police who charged the man, after taking him to hospital to be checked for a large bruise on the back of his head.

 Plonker...

Back in what is left of Europe

The sleepy hamlet of Mittenwalde in eastern Germany could become one of the richest towns in the world if Berlin were to repay it an outstanding debt that dates back to 1562.

A certificate of debt, found in a regional archive, attests that Mittenwalde lent Berlin 400 guilders on May 28 1562, to be repaid with six percent interest per year.

According to Radio Berlin Brandenburg (RBB), the debt would amount to 11,200 guilders today, which is roughly equivalent to 112 million Euros ($136.79 million).

Adjusting for compound interest and inflation, the total debt now lies in the trillions, by RBB's estimates.

Schmidt and Mittenwalde's Mayor Uwe Pfeiffer have tried to ask Berlin for their money back. Such requests have been made every 50 years or so since 1820 but always to no avail.

 

I do hate a welcher

And finally: 

Across a smidge

Judge Erich Kundergraber ordered a farmer in the state of Styria to remove the bells after locals complained that they couldn't get any sleep because of endless clanging.

Initially the owner refused to remove the bells from his herd, arguing instead that they were an Austrian tradition and helped to calm the animals.

However, Judge Kundergraber visited the field near Stallhofen, in the foothills of the Alps and ruled in favour of the farmer's neighbours.

The cows were left free to roam the field at night but could be heard clearly throughout the village, especially as the cowbells banged and scraped against their metal feeding trough.

Despite the farmer appealing against the ruling it was decided that there was no need for the bovines to have cowbells if they were kept within an easily visible, fenced field, with the judge adding that these collars were not a traditional feature of rural Austrian residential areas and did not need protecting.

HA! I laugh at cow bells; try living next to Farnborough since it became an “airport”.

That’s it: I’m orf to bake some Graphene

And today’s thought:

UK toll road

Angus

Half a pension: Begging Olympics: A Lady parking: Free lunch: Knob shoots knob-gets arrested: and the Latte Fiat.

Bassetts allsorts at the Castle this morn, but at least his Maj can venture out to chase the frogs on what used to be the lawn but is now a shallow pond.

Fitted the new keyboard to the laptop yestermorn and to be honest it is better than the original-the letters are bigger and whiter and it has a nice “clicky” action compared to the “soft touch” of the Compaq one.

Late again this Wednesday has stuff to do very early-5am at a place a few miles away and even more to do later which is just as well because after the latest vast amounts of sky water last eve the garden fettle will have to wait yet another few days.

And the interweb thingy is still playing silly buggers.

And belive it or not but I have been trying to put this post together and publish it since 07.30 of the am.....

Apparently pension fund managers are not quite telling the whole truth

It seems that nine out of 10 of the country’s biggest pension fund managers fail to warn people about the levies, which typically wipe more than £100,000 from the value of a middle-class worker’s pension.

The report by the RSA, a think tank, found that workers were routinely denied simple, low-cost pensions that are readily available elsewhere in Europe. Ministers said they were prepared to intervene unless pension funds reduced their fees and became more transparent.

The RSA report found that 21 of the 23 pension funds surveyed failed to inform people about the charges.

David Pitt Watson, one of the biggest company pension fund managers and the author of the report, said the scale of the hidden levies was “extraordinary”.

Otto Thoresen, the director-general of the Association of British Insurers, said: “We agree it is desirable that pension costs become more transparent overall, and are keen to look at ideas which make it easier for employees to understand their pensions.”

Which is a bit difficult if they don’t actually tell us isn’t it....

And the Ministers of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition

Have been sent out with their begging bowls to lobby cash-rich emerging nations such as Brazil and China during the Olympics to win multi-billion-pound contracts and help the stuttering UK economy.

The Independent has obtained a list of 50 investment projects around the world that British ministers and civil servants have been told to win during the next month.

The wish-list includes Chinese healthcare deals, the construction of Brazilian shipyards and Russian railways, deepwater-drilling off the coast of Mexico and controversial oil exploration in Kazakhstan.

And this will provide jobs in Blighty-how?

Right a smidge to the land of Teutons

A German driver was pleasantly surprised to have a squad of German soccer fans cheering her on as she squeezed her little red car into a particularly tight spot.

Bless....

Whale Sharks suck....

Conservationists have observed a male whale shark sucking fish out of a fishing net in Indonesia's Cendrawasih Bay National Marine Park.

The video has become an internet sensation, attracting almost two million views since it was posted two weeks ago.

That’s two million and a couple now then....

Over the big, salty, swaying thing on the left

A felon was arrested in Oklahoma City for possession of a firearm after he told police he shot himself in the genitals, officials said.

Tavares Donnell Colbert, 36, shot himself in the genitals Saturday near Interstate 35 while testing a gun he bought on the street in Kansas to see if it functioned properly before selling it, The Oklahoman reported.

Colbert drove himself to the hospital and police were alerted soon after, the newspaper said. He was arrested on a complaint of possession of a firearm when he was medically cleared.

Dick......

And finally:

East quite a few what-knots

Fiat has announced that the new version of the Fiat 500 will be available with a built-in coffee machine.

Designed in cooperation with famous Italian coffee-machine producer Lavazza and using the company's convenient "A Modo Mio" pod system, the espresso maker integrates into the passenger compartment.

There are no power cables and a dedicated set of accessories to keep the interior neat and tidy included, such as a spoon holder, pod dispenser and sugar container.

Caffeinated Fiat...

That’s it: I’m orf to La-La land.

And today’s thought:

Should have gorn to Specsavers Olympics

Angus

What a bleedin shambles.

Sunnyish, cloudyish, windyish, rainyish and coldish at the Castle this morn, the left elbow is a pain in ........the elbow and I don’t have the energy for a “proper” post. So here is the Angus Dei viewpoint on poor old busted Blighty.

Shambles-plural of sham·bles (Noun)

Noun:  A state of total disorder.

A butcher's slaughterhouse- (archaic except in place names).

It seems that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has managed to balls just about everything up- 

The latest debacle is the Olympic security cock up, which has already cost us more than a smidge of loot promised to G4S for a job not well done at all and will cost us even more when the extra almost redundant soldiers who will lose their leave and spend a couple of weeks camping out in the Smoke arrive.

And as well as being over budget the Olympics is unfortunately...over here:

 

But the word “Shambles (either definition)” can also be applied to the following:

The economy

The NHS

Employment

Pensions

Social services

Welfare

Fuel prices

Water management/prices

The railways

Gas prices

And

Leccy prices

And after not being able to go to the next town for a week because of the Farnborough Air Show I won’t be able to visit friends in the Smoke for two weeks without avoiding “Olympic lanes”, bus lanes, the congestion charge, detours, overcrowded trains, traffic jams and watching the petrol gauge slowly sinking towards empty as I sit among hundreds of thousands of sheep trying to get to work.

I still love this country, the shite weather, the fields of gold, the plains of water, the exorbitant parking charges if you go anywhere and the ‘slightly’ eccentric populace which still manages to function despite all the chaos. 

What I don’t love is the non-elected tosspots that inhabit the leaning tower of Westminster who are it seems incapable of rational thought, logic and seeing further than the end of their wallets when it comes to “what is best for Blighty”. 

I am tired of endless packs of MPs who couldn’t organise an erection in a cat house farting around with All and Sundry and their inept ramblings whilst trying to “Govern” what is left of the soon to be not United Kingdom while the old are treated as the fall people for all the ills in the world, the young are being left to rot on the temporary dole, people are dying of thirst in hospitals, taxes are rising faster than the speed of time, money is poured into countries that don’t seem to have a government of their own while pensioners look forward to spending their dotage in “care homes” waiting to pop orf so that the Gov can recoup costs by selling their houses and depriving the next generation of home ownership. 

It seems to me that Blighty is on the edge of a catastrophic collapse which will see us revert to the eighteenth century with work houses, debtor’s prisons, and vast numbers of homeless people begging on the streets while the rich will live in their gated estates surrounded by immigrant serfs tugging the forelock to their masters. 

It may not get that bad of course but the signs are there, the rich are still getting richer and the poor are still getting poorer, the family has almost gone, morals seem to have gone the way of a broken compass, the young hate the old, the old have not much future and those between are stuck with mortgages, kids, rising prices and no time to consider the big picture. 

Apparently in fifty years time things will be even worse, luckily I won’t be around to see it but shouldn’t those in charge change tack a bit, be a bit more “Blighty-ish” and concentrate on the UK, get us out of the EU stop giving our money to countries that can’t look after themselves, cancel all the Piss Poor “reforms” and try to make life a bit better for those of us who still live here? 

The money is there, it’s just that “they” don’t know how to allocate it, or to take a step back and have butchers at what is really going on.

Angus

Up your energy bills: Meteosat soars: El Papa in the red: Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop in the can: Some Old Russian Geysers: and Driving into the office.

Atmospheric conditions are back to “normal” at the Castle this morn-cold, cloudy, damp and dismal. The garden is still in need of a ginormous fettling but, unless I use a rowboat to do it there isn’t much of a chance.

Knobhead U-Turn Cam has it seems

Managed to increase our ‘Energy Bills’ by more than a few squids per annus horriblis as his shit for brains scheme for simpler gas and electricity deals threatens to backfire.

Consumer groups yesterday warned that government plans to offer fewer, simpler tariffs will leave many people “much worse off” as energy companies scrap discounts and cheaper online deals.

The warning comes as the Prime Minister prepares to meet the bosses of Britain’s biggest energy companies to discuss soaring gas and electricity bills, which remain at near highs of £1,300 a year per household.

According to the Torygraph major suppliers have already begun quietly removing their best tariffs from the market, including many “fixed” and online saver deals.

According to USwitch, the price comparison website, hundreds of thousands of British Gas, E.On and EDF customers have seen the very cheapest bills rise by an average of £249 since September 2010, a third more than customers on standard tariffs.

In a second blow for bill-payers Ofgem, the energy regulator, is trying to abolish discounts worth up to £130 for around 20 million customers on standard gas and electricity deals.

Four in five British homes are on these deals, qualifying for discounts if they have “dual fuel” accounts, settle bills promptly and opt for paperless billing.

Under current plans, customers on these tariffs would no longer get money off for any of these options.

They would also lose discounts for using energy at off-peak times, collecting loyalty points or low consumption rates.

The plans were drawn up by Ofgem, after the Prime Minister last year urged companies to “clear up their bewildering array of tariffs and special offers”.

Fuckwits U-Turn Cam and Chris (no nuclear) Huhne, the former Energy Secretary, suggested simplifying deals would lead more people to switch their supplier and ultimately save people money.

Since then, Ofgem has argued that scrapping discounts on standard tariffs will give a single clear rate that can be quickly compared across all suppliers.
 

Thanks Dave, you have done it again...will this Piss Poor Policies Coalition Millionaires Club Coalition ever think things through before they vomit their “ideas” into the bucket of the population of dear old Blighty?

According to Auntie

The latest spacecraft in Europe's long-running Meteosat series has just gone into orbit on an Ariane rocket.

It is now being manoeuvred into a position some 36,000km above the Earth from where it can keep a constant watch on developing weather systems.

The spacecraft is the 10th Meteosat platform to go into service since 1977.

Its pictures will soon be feeding into the daily forecasts provided to the public by national meteorological agencies right across Europe.

That’ll help-I can do the weather for nowt-just have a look out of the window.....

Dahn quite a lot to the right hand side of the Med

Allegedly the place where ex-Nazi El Papa lives has registered one of its worst budget deficits in years, plunging back into the red with a (EURO) 15 million ($19 million) deficit in 2011 after a brief respite of profit.

The Vatican on Thursday blamed the poor outcome on high personnel and communications costs and adverse market conditions, particularly for its real estate holdings.

Not even a (EURO) 50 million gift to the pope from the Vatican bank and increased donations from dioceses and religious orders could offset the expenses and poor investment returns, the Vatican said in its annual financial report.

The Vatican said it ran a (EURO) 14.9 million deficit in 2011 after posting a surplus of (EURO) 9.85 million in 2010. The 2010 surplus, however, was something of an anomaly. In 2009 the Vatican ran a deficit of (EURO) 4.01 million, in 2008 the deficit was (EURO) 0.9 million and in 2007 it was nearly (EURO) 9.1 million.

Seems that Him/Her upstairs maybe a Banker.....

West to the home of the weird and the land of mug shots

The Capital Times reports that Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was arrested last week after residents complained of excessive drinking and drug use near Reynolds Park in Madison. Authorities say he was arrested in another local park last April after police found a loaded handgun in his backpack.

He's tentatively charged with carrying a concealed knife, and possession of drug paraphernalia and marijuana.

Beezow is in the Doo-Doo then...

East lots of imperial miles and then some more

In the Kamchatka Peninsula of Russia is the only geyser field in Eurasia and the second largest concentration of geysers in the world. Approximately 200 geysers exist in the area along with many hot-water springs and perpetual spouters.

The valley is one of the few places in the world where geysers occur naturally, along with Yellowstone National Park in the U.S. and sites in Iceland, Chile, and New Zealand. In Kamchatka more than 20 large jets and 200 smaller thermal springs punch through Earth's crust in a 2.7-square-mile (7-square-kilometer) area.

Over thirty geysers have been named; among these was the Giant geyser (Velikan), capable of producing a jet of water reaching up to 40 meters. At least 20 such geysers erupt on a stretch of the Geysernaya River Basin in the Valley of Geysers, along with dozens of smaller gushing vents and hundreds of hot springs. The largest of these geysers erupts with 60 tons of water once or twice a year.

But at least it is warm there-who says you can’t learn anything on this blog?

And finally:

Back in the Norf of submerged Blighty

An out of control Volkswagen Sharan mounted the pavement and crashed into the reception area of John Stokes Ltd in Tipton, West Midlands on Tuesday.

The footage of the crash, which was captured on firm's CCTV, showed a woman walking in front of the business just seconds before the people carrier drove into it.

The vehicle is seen tearing through bricks and windows before being brought to an abrupt halt by a metal safe.

Minutes before the crash, business owner Dene Stokes, 59, was standing in the reception area, which had undergone a £25,000 refurbishment the previous month, with a client.

At the time the people carrier hit the building he was on the phone talking to his son.

Should have had a No Parking sign on the front of the building...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out some Gluons and Muons

And today’s thought:

Catching the Javelin Olympics

Angus

Royal Fail strikes again: “national retirement service”: Talking toilet mints: $168,000 a bottle plonk: Big jumping De-daw: and searching for Mokele-mbeme.

Wet, cold, dingy and dismal at the Castle this morn, the Honda is still covered in yellow stuff despite the skywater, his Maj is sulking on the sofa and the elbow is finally fixed.

Weeks after the cost of a First Class stamp increased from 46p to 60p and Second Class from 36p to 50p.

The Royal Fail has come up with another Cupid Stunt ploy to screw the public.

They have cut nearly 6,500 collections at the UK’s 115,000 post boxes last year, and brought forward final collection times at thousands more post boxes to save money.

In some rural parts of the country the last post is now being picked up as early as nine in the morning, Royal Mail admitted.

Royal Mail cut collections at nearly 6,453 post boxes and moved the last post to earlier in the day at 4,287 post boxes in the 12 months to 27 February 2012.

I suppose they have to pay for postman Pat’s pensions somehow.....

 

And talking of Cupid Stunts

Ex Prime Monster’s Big Society tsar “Lord” (U-Turn Cam is my mate) Wei reckons that Baby boomers should be encouraged to complete “national service” for pensioners after they retire.

And that old farts should be working part-time, volunteering for charities, or sharing their business experience with young entrepreneurs would help older people avoid boredom in retirement.

A pilot project is being established to develop the “national retirement service” concept, which would begin by targeting new pensioners on cruises, or other holidays and leisure activities.

They would then be encouraged to make contact with others in the same age group living nearby to discuss what to do with the years ahead.

Lord Wei’s plan could win support in government as ministers are sympathetic to moves to encourage older people to volunteer in retirement.

The Tory peer said ensuring 55-65 year-olds continue to be engaged in the lives of younger people was essential to avoid “war” between generations.

His plan followed a call from the minister for civil society, Nick Hurd, who suggested last year that the baby boom generation should volunteer when they retire instead of spending all their free time playing golf.

Fuck orf you pair of twats; aren’t fifty bleedin years working your nuts orf enough for you Thatcher generation Pillocks...

Left to the place where taking a pee can be confusing

Michigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special bathroom message.

The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.

The messages are part of a state wide Fourth of July education and enforcement effort. A kickoff is planned Monday at Detroit pub The Old Shillelagh.

What abaht the “ladies” then....

Dahn Unda

The most expensive wine ever sold directly from a winery will go on sale this week, from the Australian vintner Penfolds. The limited edition release of the 2004 Penfolds Block 42 Cabernet Sauvignon is priced at $168,000 a bottle.

The wine’s distinctive price comes from its rarity. The wine was made from the oldest producing cabernet sauvignon vines in the world, transplanted from France to Australia in the 1830s.

Later planted at the Kalimna Vineyard in the Barossa Valley, northeast of Adelaide, the vines today provide unequalled juice, but little of it. Only 12 bottles of the 2004 vintage will be sold.

To add further cachet, Penfolds commissioned an ampoule of scientific grade glass to hold it from three Australian artists: Nick Mount, who designed and hand-blew the glass; silversmith Hendrik Forster, who prepared the precious metal detailing; and furniture craftsman Andrew Bartlett, made the bespoke Jarrah cabinet.

Wonder what Danger Mouse would say.....

 

Big, nasty jumping arachnid

And finally:

Right to the place that rhymes with bongo

A team of explorers is setting out to discover once and for all whether Africa’s monster known as Mokele-mbeme is fact or fiction.

The team of Dino hunters arrived in the Congo capital of Brazzaville on Tuesday with an array of firearms for protection.

‘It would be wholly unwise to travel where we are going without firearms,’ said spokesman for the group Joe Marrero, 28.

‘We plan to be in the jungle for three months searching for the mokele and other new species and can only carry so much food.’

He and two others - expedition leader and biologist Stephen McCullah, 21, and Sam Newton, 22, all from the US - begin their search next month.

Good luck with that...

That’s it: I’m orf to snap the speed of light 

And today’s thought;

I'll scratch my bum wimbledon.

Angus

Robbie’s Law: Even more cuts: Python cook in: Hanging out in Munich: and Conceptual juggling.

Still chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal in the gauge has gorn orf to find somewhere warmer, his Maj is really, really fed up and is gazing out of the window in the vain hope that the big yellow warm thing will appear, the butler is stuffing fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace and my feet have gorn blue. 

Some serious stuff to start with:

A friend of mine-Will Powell has started an E-Petition to get the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition to debate Robbie’s Law

Will and his family have been fighting for over TWO DECADES to get the lying, self protecting doctors, coppers, and all and sundry involved to tell the truth.

Have a read of the circumstances leading to Robbie’s death HERE, and then sign the petition HERE.

Will Powell and his family deserve justice; as do all relatives of those killed by the inbred, arrogant, dick-wad minority of “Medics” who manage to end the lives of patients by either the wrong actions or lack of proper treatment.

100,000 signatures are required, it will take maybe five minutes to sign and then confirm the email, isn’t it worth five minutes to bring a bit of closure to tens of thousands of families still mourning lost relatives years after their deaths?

So go on, instead watching the “News” click on this Link and then forward it to your contacts, Tweet it, Facebook it, blog about it, send it to as many people as possible so that we can finally have an end to patients and relatives being treated like mushrooms...

  

Apparently U-turn Cam is about to issue yet another Piss Poor Policy

Allegedly The Prime Monster will use a speech in south-east England tomorrow to outline future radical changes which are aimed at saving an extra £10 billion by 2016 on top of existing plans.

Ministers expect this “next wave” of benefit cuts to include the axing of all housing benefit currently paid to around 380,000 people aged under 25. Such a move would force many to move back in with their parents rather than living independently.

Another controversial reform which could come in further down the line is setting benefit payments regionally – which would mean less money going to claimants who live in less-expensive parts of the country.

Dave’s speech will be the latest example of senior Conservatives pursuing a deliberately Tory agenda, following recent interventions from leading ministers on Europe, immigration, the replacement for Britain’s future Trident nuclear deterrent and moves to deal with “problem families”.

The aim is to boost Tory morale – and to achieve an opinion poll boost – by pursuing a “differentiation” strategy which risks alienating the Lib Dems. Since the Budget which sparked several embarrassing U-turns, Labour has opened up a big lead over the Conservatives in the polls.

I say “allegedly” because we all know how often U-Turn Cam has the habit of disappearing up his own rear exit....

Left more than many, many miles

Dahn in Sarf Florida Python, wild boar, and lion fish are usually a bit of a problem, but a solution has been found-they are going on the menu.

Todd Erickson, executive chef of Haven Gastro-Lounge; Bradley Herron, chef de cuisine of Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink, and Timon Balloo, executive chef of Sugarcane Raw Bar Grill will compete for the title of “Best Invasivore Chef.”

The cooking fest will begin at 8 p.m. Saturday at Villa 221, at 221 NE 17th St., Miami. “I think this will be fun and I’m very excited to see what Timon and Bradley do,” Erickson said. “Some good food is going to come out of it.”




I do like a bit of bacon, not too sure about Python or Lionfish...

Right just as many imperial units and then a bit more

More than 1,700 men and women have stripped naked in a German square in the latest art installation by photographer Spencer Tunick.

The volunteers, painted red and gold, were arranged in lines by the American in an interpretation of scenes from Richard Wagner’s opera Der Ring des Nibelungen.

The installation, in Munich’s Max-Joseph Platz, was created to mark the opening of the 2012 Munich summer opera season.

The Bavarian State Opera, which commissioned the work, said: "Tunick's installations encompass dozens, hundreds or thousands of volunteers; and his photographs are record of these events

According to Tunick "When you see 300 people naked in Grand Central Station, or a river of flesh flowing through the beauty aisles of Selfridges department store, it makes you think about all sorts of social and political issues."

Maybe for half the population....maybe

And finally:

A bit of relaxation in the form of “conceptual Juggling”

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the Gigapixel camera

And today’s thought:

Anyone seen my bollocks Olympics

And don’t forget to sign the Robbie’s Law petition.

Angus