Lumley loves her lawn: Focusing on B&Q: The Phantom Ray drone: Bin homeless?: Corset Piercing: and the Paper Phone.

Finally: after five weeks of dry, the wet stuff has arrived at the Castle this morn, quite dark, gentle rain, bit of banging and flashing in the sky and warmish. 

I see that the local elections are over-good, it will be a while before the “Wannabe Councillors” come knocking and “Democracy” has triumphed in the AV debacle, well; two thirds of forty-ish percent have, apparently “we” can’t manage to choose by preference but are happy to put a cross in the box we want.

Ain’t politics exciting!

Joanna Lumley is launching “National Love your lawn week”

She can come round and nurture my tender shoots anytime she wants.

And B&Q is gobbling up Focus

On Thursday, Crewe-based Focus went into administration after its business was hit by the weak housing market and low consumer confidence.

Focus' administrators said the deal represented an "exceptional outcome" for the creditors of the firm.

Focus DIY operates nearly 180 stores in the UK, which are continuing to trade, and employs almost 4,000 staff.

Announcing the sale, Simon Allport, one of the joint administrators from Ernst & Young, said: "The joint administrators will continue to trade all of the group's stores and will seek further offers for a going concern sale of the group's business and assets."

The B&Q chain has about 330 stores in the UK and Irish Republic. Other chains owned by Kingfisher include Screwfix and France's Castorama.

Cheap at twice the price.

Over the briny to the Mojave Desert

The public got its first look at the maiden flight of Boeing's new Phantom Ray Drone. Video from Boeing shows the unmanned jet in its first flight, taking place at Edwards Air Force Base. The stealthy aircraft was said to have climbed to 7,500 feet and reached a speed of 205 miles an hour.

Boeing says the stealthy Phantom Ray can fly as high as 40,000 feet and reach speeds of more than 600 miles an hour.

Hope it’s more reliable than the Airbus.

Down a bit

 A homeless man has been arrested in New Mexico for failing to notify police that he moved out of the rubbish skip he listed as his address.

Charles Mader, a convicted sex offender, is required to give the Bernalillo County Sheriff's Department in Albuquerque a physical address.

Detectives said he violated his sex offender registration requirement after moving out of the bin and failing to report the move within 10 days.

Maybe he has gone up market, to a container.

The latest thing in our dim, dingy and democratic land

‘Body modification’ fans across the country are trying the unique piercing, which involves sticking hoops into the skin by hand and then threading them with ribbon.

But a cosmetic surgeon has warned it is ‘extremely painful’ and could cause horrendous permanent scars and infections.

Corset piercing, which can cost up to £300, can be applied to any part of the body where the skin is loose.

Popular areas include the back, ribs and throat. Some fans endure an hour of pain to achieve the effect – but it is only temporary and grows out after a few weeks, leaving scars. 

Kevin Hancock, of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, said: ‘It seems absolutely barking to me.

'It would be extremely painful and it’s only temporary. I can’t believe people are going out with these things on display.

‘They’re open to any sort of infection. It’s verging on masochistic.’

But Laura Hunt, who carries out the procedure at her Dragstrip studio in Southampton and has tried it herself, said: ‘It’s not dangerous because it’s a surface piercing and doesn’t go deep enough.

'It’s an open wound so it has to be cleaned to prevent infection – it’s just like any other piercing.’

Yeah right…..

And finally:

Fed up with your bulky heavy mobile?

Fear not, the knobs have managed to make one out of paper, according to a report on BBC News, the PaperPhone is capable of receiving and making voice calls, send messages, play music and display eBooks.

The phone has been developed in collaboration between researchers at the Human Media Lab at Queen's University, Canada and Arizona State University's Motivational Environments Research group.

Users will be able to access the device’s several functions by bending and folding the device at its corners or sides.

“Everything is going to look and feel like this within five years. This computer looks, feels and operates like a small sheet of interactive paper. You interact with it by bending it into a cell phone, flipping the corner to turn pages, or writing on it with a pen." Dr Roel Vertegaal, member of the team that created the device, said in a statement.

The device is made up of E-ink, a technology used by Amazon in Kindle, flex sensors and a touch screen, that allow it to perform almost all the functions of a bulkier Smartphone device.

Oh great; that should make them even easier to lose…..

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look at Ivy Bridge.

And today’s thought: Which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
 

Angus

They’re Back!: Charlie-over there: Team Wayne: Dizzy Ducklings: Gun ships up for grabs: Septimus Quartus: and No bumping at Butlins.

Same again at the Castle this morn, sunny, calm and cold, but “they” are threatening oodles of wet stuff from the sky along with a lot of banging and flashing on Saturday.

The kitchen is empty of anything broken or fixed, the Honda is yellow again, the Butler is still on his hols and I am looking forward to a nice quiet weekend.

And: one's inaugural post is up over on Orphans of Liberty under my nom de plume of my nom de plume, see if you can tell which one it is.

The local elections are over, apart from the endless speculation from the media about who won or lost and poor old Cleggie is it seems not a popular bunny-shame.

Up a bit to Oxfordshire

The number of speeding fines issued in Oxfordshire more than doubled in the first month since cameras were turned back on after being off for eight months.

Funding was withdrawn for 72 cameras and 89 mobile sites last August as part of budget cuts but they were reinstated on 1 April.

The numbers of drivers caught in July 2010 was 2,286, while the figure for April 2011 was 5,917.

The figures were obtained by BBC Oxford from Thames Valley Police.

They showed about 200 people a day were being caught speeding in the county since the cameras were turned back on.

Whoops…..

Left a lot

Prince Charles, who is in Washington for a three-day visit, spoke to students at Georgetown University about environmentally friendly farming.

In his speech, the Prince of Wales criticised government subsidies for large-scale agriculture and encouraged more government and business support for organic and environmentally-friendly food production.

The United States spends tens of billions of dollars a year on such subsidies.

At least he isn’t “over here” hugging trees and talking to the plants.

Back in Blighty

The “Team Wayne” Three Peaks climbers picked the wrong mountain, half got injured, and then they got lost.

They started the Three Peaks Challenge by climbing the wrong mountain – and it all went downhill from there.

They climbers scaled the Highland peak of Stob Ban instead of Ben Nevis – more than 5km (3 miles) away – after thinking it looked the same.

Their tale of woe continued when they headed south to the Lake District, where three of the six injured themselves and two more got lost taking on Scafell Pike.

Mercifully, ‘Team Wayne’ decided not to even bother with Mount Snowdon in Wales.

But they still managed to raise £10,000 for a leukaemia charity in memory of their friend Wayne Wilson, who died from the disease in January, aged just 26.

Bless, at least they did it (or didn’t do it) for the right reason.

Another You Tube snippet

A 22-second video of five ducklings transfixed by a spinning yo-yo has become one of the most shared videos on YouTube this week.

After being uploaded at the weekend, the video has already been watched almost 200,000 times and ‘liked’ over 560 times.

There is little in the way of information about the clip apart from the fact it appears to take place in a pet shop and the yo-yo is being spun by a young child.

The most fascinating aspect of the video is the reluctance of the ducklings to take their eyes of the yo-yo at any time – apparently willing to keep spinning their heads round and round until they fall off.

As they yo-yo spins faster and faster, the ducks keep their heads spinning and spinning, much to the amusement of those present.

And yes, I know it isn’t really a yo-yo…..

Right many, many miles

Cash-strapped Ukrainian military leaders are selling off their lethal fleet of helicopter gunships - on an Ebay-style website.

The deadly Russian-built Mil Mi-8 and Mi-171 attack aircraft are armed to the teeth with guided anti-tank missiles, rockets and armour-shredding chainguns.

Punters can spend up to £7.3 million for a hardly used fully loaded model with cheaper, older transport choppers going for a bargain £266,000.

"We can deliver anywhere," says the ad, posted by the Ukraine's defence ministry.

Maybe the U-Turn Coalition could pick up a few bargains.

Dahn Unda

One of the Defence Force's most infamous and mischievous mascots is being retired after almost two decades of loyal, but ill-tempered, service.

Septimus Quartus, a white Shetland pony stationed with Townsville's 1 RAR for the past 18 years, has been leading the battalion on parade and making a name for himself as a troublemaker.

He has been demoted numerous times over the years for various infringements and his tendency to bite.

Executive officer of 1 RAR, Major Simon Moore-Wilton, says Septimus Quartus was a livewire from the moment he joined up.

"It is true that Septimus Quartus has made a few infringements on a few occasions; biting and other transgressions," he said.

"He has been demoted in rank a couple of times now, but he is now a sergeant and quite proud of his three hooks.

"There is a tinge of sadness to see him go."

The pony will be retired to greener pastures during a ceremony in Townsville next week.

But the trying times may be not be over, he will be replaced with his equally bold son Septimus Quintus.

Some people never learn.

And finally:

Butlins bans Bumpers

When Sir Billy Butlin introduced bumper cars to Britain more than 80 years ago, it can be assumed he expected holiday makers to have fun on the fairground ride bumping into each other.

But what Sir Billy did not foresee was the modern culture of health and safety that has not only introduced seat belts and insisted everyone drives in the same direction, but banned bumping.

Staff at all three Butlin resorts in Bognor Regis, Minehead and Skegness are instructed to ban anyone found guilty of bumping into each other in the electric cars equipped with huge bumpers.

Bemused customers who assume that the ‘no bumping sign’ is in jest are told to drive around slowly in circles rather than crash into anyone else for fear of an injury that could result in the resort being sued.

Butlins confirmed that people are not allowed to bump the bumper cars for “health and safety reasons”.

In fact the resorts insist on calling the experience Dodgems rather than bumper cars.

What next-airbags, crash helmets and roll over cages?

That’s it: I’m orf to track a Hedgehog.

And today’s thought: What do gardeners do after they retire?

Angus

Down the drain: Moptop Milton: Another Potty old pair: Pippa’s buns: Cuba peas in its coffee: and taking a lump out of the law.

The sun has taken his hat off this electoral day at the Castle, cloudy, calm and chilly, bit late this morn, been to Tesco for stale bread and gruel, and been to vote, and to break the habit of a lifetime and reveal my preference I voted “Yes” to the AV change, why? Because U-turn Cam is so afraid of it and anything is better than the system we have now that allows politicians to vote themselves and their mates into government although they lost the election.

Peter Dunn at the Independent has written an interesting article on our green/brown/black/burnt country about poverty, have a click on the link and peruse his thoughts.

And the bonkers Health Minister Ann Milton has come up with a cunning plan to make our spawn fitter.

She has been looking at a scheme in operation in South America, where roads were closed to traffic on Sundays.

She told MPs that the idea, which began in Colombia, could help tackle childhood obesity.

During a debate in Westminster Hall, Mrs Milton said: "On Sundays, they close certain streets so that everybody can play in them. That is an outstanding idea.

"Before constituents email to complain about their streets closing, I should say that I accept it would not work everywhere. It could, however, work in some places."

Mrs Milton said that the latest Department of Health figures showed that 28 per cent of children aged between two and 10 in England were overweight or obese, along with 61 per cent of adults.

Yeah right, or it may be that the reason for the obesity is that many families can only afford to buy junk food for their off spring, or it could be because the lazy fat bastards can’t be bovvered.

Over the big bit of briny that begins with A.

Two women, dubbed marijuana grannies by prosecutors, have been jailed after California police found 800 cannabis plants in their home.

Aleen Lam, 72, and Virginia Chan Pon, 65, of San Bruno, were caught when police were called to a burglary.

No fool like an old fool-or two.

Back in Blighty

It seems that the latest craze is Catherine what’s her name’s sister Pippa, or in particular her arse.

Pippa Middleton's bottom looks set to go viral after pranksters posted a cheeky music mash-up on YouTube.

Set to the song Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal, the video highlights Pippa's most eye-catching moments from the Royal Wedding.

At one stage, it appears as though a clergyman is nodding in approval of the maid of honour's derriere, reports the Daily Mirror.

Pippa caused a real stir in her bridesmaid dress and a Facebook group praising her assets has already attracted more than 10,000 fans.

Her 'bum' also seemingly has its own Twitter account, @pippasass, which has just under 800 followers.

The YouTube clip has already notched up nearly 60,000 hits in just one day. It is one of dozens of clips of Pippa at the wedding posted on the video-sharing website.

Never seen coppertop Harry go so red….

Back over the thingy and down a fair bit

Cubans' morning Joe is getting a little more bitter and a little less potent. The island is once again mixing coffee with roasted peas in a cost-saving move.

An announcement in the Communist Party newspaper Granma says the new blend is being distributed for domestic consumption beginning this month.

Coffee for export will continue to be pure.

Cubans are accustomed to drinking coffee cut with peas, which was the norm here until 2005.

Some even complained when they started getting the pure stuff, saying it tasted funny.

Local cafes were still selling supplies of pure coffee Tuesday.

I couldn’t cope with pea-d-in coffee first thing in the morn; it would take me till noon to finish the post.

And finally:

Up a fairway to the old, warm bit of the colonies

A 10-foot-long alligator has taken a bite out of a Florida deputy sheriff's patrol car.

Alachua County Deputy Victor Borrero spotted the reptile, which was later put down, on Saturday evening near the Gainesville Golf and Country Club.

It attacked the patrol car while the deputy was waiting for an alligator trapper to arrive. Sheriff's spokesman Todd Kelly said the car's front bumper was heavily damaged.

The insurance claim form should be interesting.

That’s it: I’m orf to probe Einstein.

And today’s thought: "Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret" - Lawrence J. Peter

Angus

Big ship for sale: Silly Billy-arse or elbow: Post Office debacle: They Nose you know: Dry run: Hong Kong Kung Fu: and test your Happiness.

Still sunny, still, calm, still chilly and still no wet stuff at the Castle this morn. The kitchen is overflowing with broken/fixed adding machines, the butler has buggered orf on holiday and the yellow dust is still covering everything in sight.

If you are in the market for a slightly used aircraft carrier then pop down to Pompey and have a wander around the Ark Royal.

Ministry of Defence (MoD) tours of the aircraft carrier are taking place at the Portsmouth Naval Base. Only potential bidders who have registered an interest on the edisposals.com auction website are allowed aboard for the viewings.

Those attending were required to submit an outline of their "intentions regarding the vessel" to the MoD in advance.

Proposals for Ark Royal include turning it into a school, a nightclub or a base for security personnel during the Olympics.

But it could also be sold for scrap like its sister ship HMS Invincible.

Why not re-commission the Harriers, and use it to defend Blighty against those nasty men from the East? 

Silly Billy Hague is it seems making it up as he goes along, individuals in Libya could be targeted depending on their behaviour, Silly Billy has suggested.

The comment appears to go against the assurance offered by NATO spokesperson Lieutenant-General Charles Bouchard after the air strike which killed Col Gaddafi's youngest son that "we do not target individuals".

The Silly B told MPs yesterday “the attack was an attack on a command-and-control location. NATO has increased the number of air strikes against command and control functions of the Libyan regime. That is wholly legitimate in our view. Such attacks will continue."

Oh well, that’s OK then.

According to a “new” report

Government plans to sell off the Royal Mail could lead to the closure of more than 9,000 post offices.

Research among 800 sub-postmasters by the Communication Workers Union (CWU) found that nine out of 10 said they could not survive without Royal Mail business, while a similar number believed they were unlikely to continue if the Government continued to press ahead with plans for a so-called "Locals" model of franchised post office services.

The union, which is campaigning against the privatisation, said that based on the study's findings, more than 9,000 post offices would close.

Most of those questioned had little or no confidence that the Government will return to post offices services which have been removed.

Just to expand on the last sentence-most of us in the country have little or no confidence in the Government.

Right a bit

It's the world title where winners tend to run in the family - and a short nose definitely won't be enough to get contestants on the podium.

Organisers of the Long Nose World Championship in Langenbruck, Germany, are looking for the pick of new entrants for this year's final in June.

"We judge both length and width and we are looking for new blood this year because we don't just want to see the same old faces again.

"There must be people out there with gigantic noses we just haven't seen so we want to get that new talent in," said one steward.

Current men's world champ Josef Dewold measures up at nearly five inches while women's title holder Margot Sikora's reaches just more than four inches.

And they say size doesn’t matter.

Dahn Unda

The organisers of a famous camel race in Alice Springs have signed up new sponsors after the event was hit hard by heavy rain last year.

The Camel Cup has been running since the 1970s and will be held on July 9 this year.

Former winning jockey Ian Rowan says the organisers are hoping for a more usual dry season day.

"Money is always a big problem," he said.

"Last year we had a lot of rain in Central Australia and, three days before the big race day, the track was under water.

"There were pelicans flying over the track and nesting on the track all night.

"We are praying we do not get any rain for at least a few weeks before race day this year."

The organisers of the Cup hope to draw a huge crowd to the race.

The famous race will be held on a 400m track at Blatherskite Park.

Mr Rowan rode the winning camel in 2003.

"This is the birthplace of camel racing in Australia," he said.

They should hold it Dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire apparently we have only had 3pc of our normal rainfall in April.

Up a fair amount

Hong Kong Airlines cabin crew are taking classes in deadly Wing Chun, which teaches students how to knock an aggressor out cold within seconds.

Airline bosses say their flight attendants have to deal with at least three cases a week where amorous drunks try to paw them.

Instructor Sifu Lu Heng said: 'It is for their own safety and the safety of other passengers that they learn how to defend themselves. This kung fu works best at very close range so it is ideal for a plane.'

New recruit Lumpy Tang, 22, said she never imagined it would be part of the job.

'We were surprised in the beginning, but after a few lessons we really liked wing chun,' Tang told the Sunday Morning Post.

Will I be arrested for being “racist”?

And finally:

Test your happiness factor

That’s it: I’m orf to look for Inkayacu paracasensis.

And today’s thought: Vote Yes to AV just because U-Turn Cam is so afraid of it.

Angus

The pick pocket U-turn time warp Coalition: NHS Knobs raking it in: Holy groceries: 999-my kettles broken: Why electricity prices are so high: and Three Numptys in a boat.

Usual at the Castle this morn, sunny, calm and nippy, still no sky water, the phone started ringing at 6 of the am with users demanding a computer fix, the Honda is yellow again and the lawn is turning a nice shade of brown.

According to Roger Bootle, a former government adviser who now works with Deloitte, the accountancy firm the typical UK household will see its disposable income fall by 2 per cent this year, the equivalent of £780.

He added that if interest rates were to rise, British families would not have seen conditions deteriorate so badly since 1952.

Thanks U-turn Cam, shame that prices won’t be at 1952 levels.

And talking of U-turn Cam, who said he would do away with waste in the NHS.

Click on the link above to see the list of the highest paid NHS knobs.

Over to the land of long blowy things and big hills

An Austrian deacon is making a special offer at his local supermarkets -- free spiritual guidance and counselling when you pick up your groceries.

Deacon Willi Holzhammer is touring the Alpine province of Tyrol each Saturday and setting up his service for shoppers.

The retired computer specialist already runs a page on social networking site Facebook where followers can "Ask Willi" for advice.

"Personal encounters are just another step," Holzhammer said in a press release from Catholic news agency Kathpress.

His supermarket service will run for five weeks and be held at different towns in the western province.

That’ll double fish sales on a Friday.

Dahn in Welsh Wales

A woman rang 999 to ask police to fix her kettle.

She was one of 1,000 time-wasters who called operators in South Wales last year.

A police spokesman said: “We’ve had some daft calls but this takes the biscuit.”

Others included people asking directions to the royal wedding and some inquiring if they were a missing person. 

Numptyism is a kingdom wide trait.

North of the border

Six wind farms were given six-figure payments to switch off their turbines because the Scottish grid network could not absorb all the energy being produced, it has emerged.

Research by the Renewable Energy Foundation (REF) found energy companies were paid a total of £900,000 for stopping the turbines for several hours between April 5 and 6 this year.

The REF said some of the payments were as high as 20 times the value of the electricity which would have been generated if the turbines kept running. 

Remember this next time your electricity supplier puts up their prices blaming “the cost of supply”.

And finally:

Talking of Numptys

Rescuers said three men in an inflatable dinghy thought they had made it from England to France when they were rescued only 2 miles from where they departed.

The RNLI said the men entered the English Channel in Littlehampton, Saturday night without warm clothes or life jackets and were spotted waving for help by a birdwatcher the following morning, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday.

The men, whose names were not released, believed they had made it to France in their 7-foot raft and greeted rescuers by saying "Bonjour."

The RNLI said the men were treated for hypothermia and all made complete recoveries.

"These three gents were extremely fortunate to be seen by a vigilant member of the public and so lucky to have survived overnight with no protection and no life jackets," said Nick White, lifeboat operations manager for RNLI. "It would have been so easy for the dinghy to have been capsized by the smallest of waves."

Blow up Numptys.

That’s it: I’m orf to give the Blue Tits an IQ test

And today’s thought: "No man is rich enough to buy back his past." - Oscar Wilde

Angus

Show me the money: Our ‘Enry RIP: He’s back: High confidence: Tesco’s toasted burger: and Not for wimps.

Sunny, calm and a bit nippy at the Castle this morn, still no wet stuff from the sky, so the daily watering of the garden continues, and just to prove that I did wash the car at 11am on Friday below is a pic of the finished article.

 I see that Osama bin liner has been topped by the Americans. That will make a difference…..

In Blighty-Bexley to be exact a highly paid council chief executive who was handed a payout on the grounds of "permanent ill health" has since been busily earning more than £200,000 a year in consultancy fees in addition to his £50,000 pension benefit.

Mr Johnson took early retirement from his job as chief executive of Bexley council in November 2007, having been assessed as being "permanently unfit" on health grounds. He had spent the previous six months on sick leave, yet within weeks of leaving his job began working as a consultant for Hammersmith and Fulham council.

By February 2008 he was appointed as interim chief executive of Hammersmith and Fulham Homes (H&F Homes), responsible for running its 17,000 properties.

His temporary role lasted for more than three years and ended only last month. He was paid £950 a day in his full-time role at H&F Homes, and is being kept on as a consultant.

Teresa Pearce MP, whose constituency includes Bexley and who was formerly a senior tax investigator at PricewaterhouseCoopers, said that, while the arrangement is legal, "it's not within the spirit of the law, definitely not". She added: "Within a year of him being judged to be in permanently ill health he was pictured in a hard hat, with a spade, digging, in a brochure for H&F Homes – this is just so barefaced that it's insulting. Whatever he is paid for holding that office should go through the payroll and it doesn't. HMRC should investigate this."

Ah the old “it is in the rules defence”.

And our ‘Enry has sadly passed away at the age of 76, in remembrance I shall be “slashing it all over”, R.I.P.

Over in the shaky bit of the colonies

Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced that he will make a comeback to the big screen, reprising his title role in the Terminator series.

After nearly 30 years since the original James Cameron flick, former California governor and action movie hero Arnold Schwarzenegger promised his fans that he will return with as much violent action as ever.

"I can step very comfortably into the entertainment world and do an action movie with the same violence that I've always done," Schwarzenegger told the LA Times.

The film, at this stage being referred to as Terminator 5, is in a very early pre-production stage but is apparently to be directed by Fast 5 director, Justin Lin.

Or, at Arnie’s age the new film may be called “The Zimmer-inator”

Still “over there”

A male high school student has been thrown out of class for wearing a pair of high heels to give himself "confidence".

Riverview High School principal Bob Heilman convinced the young man, whose name was withheld from the Tampa Bay MyFox affiliate, to take off the shoes.

A teacher had alerted the principal that the shoes were causing a disruption and that the kids were starting to call him names.

Not because the principal disapproved – but because the principal was worried about his safety.

The shoes reportedly gave the boy "confidence", according to a friend.

Whatever floats your boat…..

My favourite retailer

Is about to offer shoppers the ultimate in cuisine- A ­burger that can be popped in a toaster to cook. Tillman’s Toast Me! ­burgers can be put into the toaster straight from the freezer.

The German meat firm’s UK boss Jon Gymer claimed: “There’s nothing else like it out there at the moment.”

Packs of two, costing ­between £1.39 and £1.59, are due to be sold by Tesco later this month.

Bit flammable, hope they come in those paper bag thingy’s.

 And finally:

Designs for a futuristic aircraft seat aimed at gaming fanatics have been unveiled in Germany this week.

A prototype of the “NFW (Not for Wimps)” concept seat is currently on display at the Aircraft Interiors Expo in Hamburg.

The design features a large arc made from lightweight materials, including composite Kevlar and carbon fibre, that rises from the top of a “bucket” seat, extends above the passenger, and holds a state-of-the-art monitor. The gaming station would also work as a “docking station”, allowing passengers to use their own devices.

The seat was created by the British manufacturers Contour Aerospace Ltd and Factorydesign and is expected to appeal to young technophiles.

“NFW is designed to appeal to customers who would rather spend their time on long-haul flights locked in a gaming or viewing experience rather than dropping off to sleep,” said Adam White, director of Factorydesign.

No thanks think I will stick to the train. 

That’s it: I’m orf to reintroduce Cylindraspis, if I can find one. 

And today’s thought: "Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets." - British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea

Angus

No news Sunday

After searching the web since Dawn’s crack appeared on the horizon (which is not a pretty site at that time of the morn) I have decided that there is nothing of interest in the whole world.

Which means that I will actually have to write something myself.

So:

Sort of interesting-ish.

Over in the Vatican apparently Pope JP2 is about to be beatified, and to enhance the experience they have dug him up and some of his blood is on hand as a relic.

I only find this interesting-ish because it seems that the Catholic Church remains in the twelfth century, apart from the ex Nazi Pope what’s his name who is still in the twentieth century. 

Back in Blighty head teachers are talking about going on strike, which will make not a jot of difference to the “education” of our spawn because it feels like the little brats have been on holiday since Crimbo. 

Up in the Thames valley plans are afoot to set up hydro-power schemes on River Thames weirs. The Environment Agency (EA) has teamed up with Windsor and Maidenhead council in Berkshire to look for schemes at Marlow, Boveney and Boulters weirs.

Which should produce enough electricity to power the odd street lamp, I still think that waterwheels are the answer.

Not even slightly interesting-ish 

Over in the colonies it seems that the-I’ll show you mine if you show me yours spat between Barack Obama and Donald Trump has reached a new low.

Donald Trump, the property tycoon and would-be Republican presidential candidate, is under pressure from political opponents to release his tax returns after Barack Obama released his birth certificate.

Fake birth certificate versus fake tax returns? 

Across to Europe

Those that are in the Euro thingy are experiencing inflation of 2.8 pc, oh dear what a shame, our inflation's running at 4pc according to the diddled figures from the U-turn Coalition.

And finally:

Do I give a Badger’s bollocks?

The Duck and Duckess of Cambridge are it seems spending their first weekend as a married couple at a secret location.

The couple, who married on Friday, have opted to delay their honeymoon, with Prince William returning to his job as an RAF helicopter pilot on Tuesday.

 Information about the lifestyle of two multi millionaires is really not required reading in the Castle.

And old fart “Sir” Mick Jagger’s portrait is to be hung in the National gallery; I know what I would like to hang, preferably from a lamp post. 

That’s it: I’m orf to give a neglected current some care.

And today’s thought:  You are only young once . . . but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Angus