Old Boy’s Club#1: Less for less in the NHS: Old Boy’s Club#2: Who’s who at No10: Pachyderm Poo: One way Jobsworth: and a Moggy Mugger.

Sunny, cold and calm at the Castle this morn, the kitchen is empty of any sort of fluff filled computers, but the Vista re-install has come back to haunt me-I bloody hate Vista. 

Because Blogger has been down, here is yesterday’s post because I can’t be bothered to sort one out for today. 

Rob a bank of £100,000 and you get a few years in the pokey, rob the public of £100,000 and you get suspended from Parliament for a week.

U-Turn Cam and Nick (kick me) Clegg have finally found something to agree on; they have called for the disgraced former Cabinet Minister David Laws to remain in public life after he was found guilty of using taxpayers' money to pay his boyfriend more than £100,000.

The backing for the Liberal Democrat came on a day that “Mr” Laws was handed the stiffest non-criminal penalty given to any MP caught up in the expenses scandal. Mr Laws, who has repaid more than £56,000, will be suspended for a week after being found guilty of breaking six different rules.

Voters in Mr Laws' Yeovil constituency are now considering an attempt to force another election, as the disgraced MP campaigned heavily on his apparently clean expenses record.

Yet the Prime Minister and his deputy took time out of an event to promote youth employment to speak warmly of the man who served alongside them in Cabinet for just 17 days before resigning after it emerged he paid his lover money from Commons allowances to rent a room in a house they shared.

Must be nice to have influential friends.

More patients fewer nurses

The number of patients being treated by nurses has shot up just as staff numbers fall, a new survey suggests.

The survey, conducted by health union Unison to coincide with 'Nurses' Day', paints a bleak picture of life in the NHS as concerns over the government's proposed healthcare reforms grow.

"The results of this damning survey are both sad and shocking," said Gail Adams, Unison head of nursing.

"Nurses and midwives see first hand the damage that the government's cuts are inflicting on patient care, so it is perhaps not surprising that 65% say they have considered leaving the NHS.

"However, nurses are clearly angry at the impact on patients, with 57% saying they would be prepared to take industrial action if patient care is compromised."

The survey, of more than 2,000 nurses and midwives, saw three-quarters of nursing staff say the number of patients they have treated has gone up, at the same time as 60% reported a drop in staff numbers.

Sixty-four per cent of respondents said safety and patient care and 78% said their employer was making cuts, with over a third reporting redundancies.

Only a quarter of those surveyed said they would recommend nursing as a profession.

Value for money; Or Piss Poor Policy?

The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa) was established last year in the wake of the expenses scandal uncovered by The Daily Telegraph. It was set up following a lengthy independent inquiry.

But MPs have complained that the new system is too bureaucratic as they object to having to account for every penny of taxpayer-funded expenditure.

Adam Afriyie, a Conservative back-bench MP, has proposed an alternative system based on flat-rate allowances which has received widespread support throughout the House of Commons.

Many MPs are pushing for expenses to be replaced with a new flat rate allowance paid automatically without the need to provide receipts.

Value for money; or a load of thieving bastards?

Still with the Politics thing

Veteran MP Sir Gerald Kaufman has complained that he received a letter from 10 Downing Street signed by a fake official using a bogus name.

Sir Kaufman received a letter signed by a Mrs E Adams but, when he called Downing Street to speak to her, he was told she was a ‘computer-generated name’.

He told MPs in the House of Commons: ‘What extraordinary events are taking place in 10 Downing Street whereby they send letters from somebody who doesn’t exist and expect one to accept this?'

The letter - complete with bogus signature - later featured on Channel 4 News.

Commons speaker John Bercow said it was ‘peculiarly unfortunate’.

In a statement, Downing Street acknowledged the practice and revealed the use of pseudonyms was introduced in 2005.

It followed an official being tracked down and threatened at her home address.

I see that U-Turn Cam’s open government is yet to be implemented, I wonder if they use This.

If you go down to the Zoo today

You’d better take a seal-able plastic bag-Prague Zoo has started selling elephant dung to Czech gardeners to use as fertiliser.

About 200 1kg containers have been sold per weekend at £2.40 each, and sales have been so brisk they have expanded to weekdays. It is the brainchild of zoo director Miroslav Bobek, whose surname means dung.

At £2.40 per Kilo maybe they should adopt this idea at parliament. There is enough crap spoken there to clear the deficit.

One way Traffic Warden

A Traffic Warden eager to dish out tickets was caught by a shop’s CCTV camera appearing to ride his moped the wrong way up a one-way street.

Staff at the electrical store were stunned to see footage showing him apparently shaking his fist at people who pointed out his bad driving.

He is then seen ticketing cars on a single yellow line.

David Streadwick, 49, who witnessed the incident in Newham, East London, said: “If someone is employed to enforce the law, then they need to abide by it.”

Newham Council said it is investigating.


Never a copper about when you need one.



And finally:

Across the briny to the colonies

An altercation between a Cleveland, Texas, man and his feline-foe turned so bloody on Friday that the man had to be air-lifted to a Houston hospital.

According to the The Cleveland Advocate, even the man's knife-wielding attempt at fighting off the animal left both he and the aggressive kitty severely injured.

The result was so gruesome that the man was taken to Cleveland Regional Medical Centre only to have doctors elect for more serious medical attention, calling in air transportation to Houston's Memorial Hermann Hospital.

As for the house cat, local game wardens Danny Diaz and Adam Broll were called in to take her to the Big Thicket Veterinary Clinic, where she was eventually euthanized.

See-U Pussy.

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look at the Crab Nebula.



And today’s thought: "We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." - Vlade Divac, Basketball player.



Angus

Trust me-I’m a Tory-U-Turn cam: Out of Afghanistan: Quaking Romans: Whale Vomit: Pastie petrol: Heavens Angel: and Up and Down in Sarf Africa.

Bit sunny, quite calm and a lot chilly at the Castle this morn, I have de-fluffed most of the computers in the kitchen, and spent a not very pleasant afternoon re-installing vista which I couldn’t restore on a laptop that had serious virus problems because there was no anti-virus installed.

Life is fun……

Late this morn Blogger has been down………I blame James; it was fine before he came back.

U-Turn Cam is the latest “person” to ignore poor Old Nick (kick me) Clegg by telling the country that “Only the Conservatives can be trusted with the NHS”, while Nicky was sitting to U-Turn Cam’s right-hand side.

And  

Staying with our non elected “leader”

David Cameron has triggered a row with military chiefs by insisting that hundreds of British troops must be withdrawn from Afghanistan within weeks.

But British commanders have warned David Cameron that an early exit could jeopardise the counter-insurgency mission, allowing the Taliban to regain territory and popular support.

As a compromise, defence chiefs have reluctantly drawn up plans to withdraw 450 of Britain's 10,000 troops from Afghanistan. Mr Cameron wants to agree their withdrawal with Barack Obama when he visits London later this month.

The British troops could leave Afghanistan as soon as July, when the American withdrawal begins.

How many feet can u-turn fit into his facial orifice?

Across Europe to the land of past glories

Last week I mentioned that Rome was expecting an earthquake yesterday; apparently twenty [per cent] of Romans didn't go to work. On the other hand, hotels and agritourism facilities have had a boom in bookings," said Primo Mastrantoni, head of the Association for the Rights of Users and Consumers.

An institute set up to study the writings of Raffaele Bendandi has emphasised he never made a prediction of an earthquake in Rome on May 11, but that has done little to stop the rumour spreading by word of mouth.

Traffic was particularly light on the Italian capital's normally clogged streets and the usual crowds in the metro and outside schools were absent.

Shopkeepers in the Chinese-dominated Esquilino quarter took off, with nine out of 10 shops shuttered with signs saying "illness" or "re-stocking".

400 people joined a Facebook group whose members spent the night camped out in the wide open spaces of the Circus Maximus, an ancient Roman arena.

Others organised giant earthquake picnics in the city's many parks.

Been to Rome it didn’t shake my world…..mind you parts of it looked as if it had had a nine on the Richter scale.

Dahn Unda and right a bit

A Maori tribe on New Zealand's North Island were celebrating an unexpected windfall after finding a large chunk of whale vomit while burying the corpse of a stranded sperm whale that had been mutilated by vandals.

The 40kg lump of ambergris has just been sold to a French company for an undisclosed sum after being discovered last year, The Dominion Post reported.

Dargaville broker Adrienne Beuse said tens of thousands could be paid per kilogram of ambergris, dependent on its quality. Some estimates of the value of the New Zealand find were as high as $400,000.

Sperm Whale vomit is more correctly known as ambergris, and is a rare and often valuable ingredient in fine perfumes.

Ah the old Chanel number chuck up.

Up in Lincolnshire

Scientists plan to power cars using oil garnered from Cornish pasties, pies and other waste food, it has been announced.

Eco-friendly fuel firm Greenergy have revealed their intentions to make biodiesel using oil extracted from various forms of food waste.

As well as pasties, crisps and other notoriously oily products that would normally be send to landfill sites and disposed of will be taken to a processing plant in Immingham, Lincolnshire.

There, the cooking oil - which scientists say can make up around 30 per cent of some processed foods - will be extracted and re-filtered in order to be compatible with combustion engines.

The finished product will be made up using a fine blend of regular diesel fuel extracted from crude oil and the waste food oil.

Around £50million of investment is being channelled into the venture, Greenergy have said, and it will eventually lead to the new form of fuel being sold on petrol station forecourts.

Think I’d rather eat the pasties.

Up a bit to Cricket County

A vicar who calls himself "heaven's angel" has celebrated setting the inaugural world record for a motorcycle hearse when he clocked just over 114mph on an airfield runway.

The Rev Ray Biddiss, 57, had to reach a speed of more than 80mph at Elvington Airfield, near York, on Tuesday in his specially built "trike-hearse" to be recognised by Guinness World Records.

And the clergyman, from Halifax, West Yorkshire, managed to hit 114.1mph in The Rocket, which he says he uses for real funeral services.

The good news is that if you are in the back you won’t get the speeding ticket…..or will you?

And finally:

Right a lot and down even more

A British thrill-seeker set a world record with 105 bungee jumps in seven and a half hours – plus two more after lunch before the cold stopped him.

Scott Huntly, 49, made the repeated jumps at Bloukrans Bridge in South Africa, the highest commercially-run bungee spot on Earth at 708ft.

The expat dad of one, from Edinburgh, said: “I only stopped twice to go to the toilet; otherwise I was either jumping down or bouncing back up.”

Maybe they should change the sign to “Worlds highest Numptys”.

That’s it: I’m orf to search for the “First Fungi” in the moat.

And today’s thought: Don't be stupid. We have politicians for that. 

Angus

Happy Coalition Day?: Windy copper knob: Instant justice: The EU big brother: Dangerous haircut: and another YouTube snippet.

‘Tis brightish, warmish dampish and breezyish at the Castle this morn, the garden is growing faster than a Triffid and the kitchen is overflowing with “overheating” computers.

Is it the hot weather you may ask? And the answer is-sortish, what it is in truth is that “users” do not get their laptops/desktops serviced, and when it gets warm they notice that the cooling fan is running all the time and then the poor little machines cut out because of the “heat” and they phone the Castle in panic thinking that their expensive toys have died.

What it really is, is that fluff and pet hairs and detritus gets sucked into the fans and eventually it clogs up and stops which can in the worst scenario fry the processor and motherboard leading to very expensive replacements/repairs.

So, a hint to keyboard bangers-either get your computers serviced each year, or with a small vacuum cleaner on the lowest suck possible place the hose over the inlet/outlet to your fan for several seconds after switching said computer orf and clear the life threatening gunge, or an even better decision is to bring it to the Castle and I will do it for you at a very reasonable cost-well one has to pay for stale bread and gruel.

My second attempt at “sensible” blogging is up over at Orphans of Liberty if you can be bothered.

Today “we” celebrate one whole year of the U-Turn coalition in power.

And to mark the occasion, click on the link above and peruse the list of non targets, non promises and Piss Poor Policies which our revered leaders have managed to miss, introduce, un introduce and cancel.

Who says politics is boring…….

And zooming in on one member of the Coalition sideboard

Allegedly Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander, dubbed Beaker, was apparently unable to contain himself as he waited to do a TV interview.

He loudly broke wind before he was grilled at Millbank Studios, near Parliament, according to ­broadcasting insiders.

The incident is said to have happened last Friday as he tried to explain his party’s poll ­drubbing, with footage expected to surface online.

But a spokesman for Mr ­Alexander said yesterday: “This story is a lot of hot air.”

Let’s hope he didn’t “follow through”…. Then again…..

On the spot money maker

Police will be able to hand out on-the-spot fines for careless driving under a new strategy being launched to make Britain's roads safer.

Motorists, who tailgate, undertake or cut up other drivers could be handed an immediate fine - reportedly up to £100 - rather than being taken to court.

There will be a new crackdown on drug-driving and loopholes which allow people to get off drink-driving charges will be closed, said the Department for Transport (DfT).

Disqualified drivers will be forced to retrain - and possibly have to take another test - before they regain their licence.

And the courts will be encouraged to make more use of their powers to seize vehicles for the most serious offences.

But in a written statement to MPs today, Transport Secretary Philip Hammond will also announce a new approach to drivers who make genuine mistakes on the roads and extra help for those who have just passed their tests and need to keep improving their skills.

A wider range of retraining and education courses will be on offer for low-level offences.

And novice drivers will be able to take additional qualifications to reassure insurers that they are safe behind the wheel, in a bid to reverse the steep upward trend in premiums for less experienced motorists.

Yeah right….that’ll boost the coffers a fair bit, and how much will this Daft Old Fart’s insurance go up in July?

Going on your hols this year?

Millions of holidaymakers will have their personal details tracked on huge databases thanks to the latest EU diktat.

Countries will be expected to record air passengers’ information, including who they travelled with, the price they paid for a ticket, and even any meal requests they made.

EU member states would then be able to trawl their neighbours’ data to check for links to terrorism or other criminality.

Immigration Minister Damian Green admitted the directive would spark concerns about sovereignty, but insisted the databases would help to keep the UK safe.

However, Eurosceptics accused ministers of presiding over a ‘blizzard’ of ‘undemocratic’ opt-ins to controversial EU legislation.

The move follows anger over the Coalition’s decision last year to join the European Investigation Order, which allows member states to instruct British police to carry out spying missions on their behalf.

Under the latest measure – the Passenger Name Record directive – EU member states will be expected to gather all the information travellers provide to airlines when crossing borders.

This will include details held on the person’s passport as well as their payment card number, travel companions, seat number, onward flight itinerary, meal request and price of ticket.

The final form of the directive is still being hammered out, but it is expected every EU country would establish a so-called Passenger Information Unit. Data would be logged by the country a person left and the one in which they landed.

Nice-think I’ll stay in Blighty.

Dahn Unda

Nathan Van Someren, who plays for Victorian side Simpson Tigers, was told to leave the field in the third quarter of their match against Otway Districts at the weekend.

Tigers Co-coach Leigh Walsh told Fairfax Radio the reason given was "because his hair was too dangerous" and might have poked another player in the eye.

"I was just standing there and (the umpire) came across to me and goes, 'I thought I told you that you couldn't come on the ground'," Van Someren told Fairfax.

"I sort of just looked at him like 'what?' and he's like, 'no, I told you that you couldn't come on the ground with that hairstyle, you have to go off'."

Elfandsafety Aussie Rules style.

And finally:

Another YouTube snippet, this time a Kitten with a “dangerous” thing.

That’s it: I’m orf to check the grounds for Kiwis.

And today’s thought: Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosy... Doesn't try it on.-Billy Connolly

Angus

Slut Walk: Too hot for Wi-Fi: Her Maj goes Apple: Cooking up Mother’s day: No more hanging out in Maine: and Samoa time travels.

Spiffing day at the Castle this morn, sunny, touch nippy, calm, him/her upstairs has watered all the pots, hanging baskets and wall boxes and the roses have survived the downfall.

Took a stroll around the grounds last dark thing, the solar powered lights work a treat.

I spent my annual £5 on the garden yestermorn, bought two strawberry plants-in fruit for £1.29 each and ten begonias for £2.50, the Strawberries are placed so that I can reach up from the sun lounger and pluck them without having to move and the begonias have been distributed among the pots-hard work this gardening lark.

The latest thing among some ladies is the Slut Walk, apparently it all stems from the rather sexist remark from a Canadian Police officer who said “women should avoid dressing like sluts" if they wanted to avoid being raped.

Thousands have taken part in such marches in Canada and the US, and more than a few provocatively-dressed women are expected to march through London next month

The Slut Walk London website says it wants to end a culture of fear and victimisation. "Let's raise our voices and tell the world that rape is never, ever OK," it proclaims. "Not if she was wearing a miniskirt. Not if she was naked. Not if she was your wife, girlfriend or friend. Not if she was a prostitute. Not if she was drunk. Not if you thought she wanted to." 

Quite right, I may even attend to err…give my support.

Climate change kills your Wi-Fi

According to Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman climate change will disrupt Wi Fi connections, cause regular power failures and lead railway lines to buckle unless Britain spends billions of pounds.

She warned of intense rainfall, droughts and heat waves in the next 50 to 100 years because of man-made global warming. The signal from Wi-Fi cannot travel as far when temperatures increase. Heavy downfalls of rain also affect the ability of the device to capture a signal.  

I’ll just move the wireless router nearer to my laptop in 50 or 100 years.

Her Maj has it seems gone iPad

The Sun reported Monday the queen learned how to use the device from her grandsons, Princes William and Harry and "was particularly taken with how easy it was to use."

The queen already has a cellphone and iPods -- including one given to her by U.S. President Barack Obama in 2009 and a silver model she bought in 2005 that holds 1,500 songs.

Trouble with that is, in 50 or 100 years her Wi-Fi signal will be lost……sorry-wrong picture.

And talking of mālum

New York police said they arrested a woman accused of using a cooking pot to strike her child's father when he failed to give her a Mother's Day present.

Investigators said Aretavia Kimbrough, 28, woke boyfriend Charmean Allen, 28, who is the father of Kimbrough's 8-month-old son, at about 7 a.m. Sunday and demanded to know what he had purchased her for Mother's Day, the New York Post reported Monday.

Allen said he tried to explain to Kimbrough, who was holding their son in one arm and a cooking pot in the other, that he was planning to buy her candy and take her out to dinner, but she was not satisfied and struck him in the head with the pot.

Allen, who suffered a 4-inch gash to his head, called a friend for help and the friend dialed 911.

Police described Kimbrough as "crazed-looking."

"I hit him with a pot, and I'm glad I did," she allegedly told police, the report said. "I've been with him for seven years, and he never bought me nothing!"

Candy and a dinner-you just can’t please some people, malum by the way is latin for Apple, it also means Evil....

Still in the US of A

The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in Vassalboro, Maine, has been forced to close after its owner erected signs declaring 'boobies wanted'.

The US coffee shop originally made headlines after it upset locals when it opened in 2009, with customers served by semi-nude male and female staff.

Despite considerable opposition from locals the shop stayed open until now, when officials ruled its owner Donald Crabtree had been putting up signs illegally.

'I wanted to have some fun; I wanted to see people smile,' Mr Crabtree told the Maine Morning Sentinel.

'I started the topless coffee shop to do that, and it did. But now my smile's gone. 

So have the “Boobies”. 

And finally:

For more than a century Samoa has enjoyed the reputation as the last place on earth to see the sunset. But on Dec 29, Samoa will become a nation of time-travellers by erasing a day from the country's calendar and catapulting itself 24 hours into the future, making it one of the first countries in the world to see the sun rise.

In essence it is simply slipping from the eastern side of the International Date Line to the western side.

The change will put the Pacific island nation on the same weekday as its neighbours to the west, including Australia and New Zealand, and it is aimed at making trade with the countries easier and boosting the economy, and  will shift Samoa from being 21 hours behind Sydney to just three hours ahead – the same as Tonga.

The move comes 119 years after the island last shifted time zones, moving from west to east in 1892 in order to align with American traders in California.  

Fickle lot those Samoans…. 

That’s it: I’m orf to study Beavers. 

And today’s thought: Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

Angus

The NHS-will U-turn Cam listen?: The English language and the EU: Plane cooking: Head heads back to NZ: Ant Zombies: and Feathertail Gliders.

‘Tis sunny, calm and warmish at the Castle this morn, the sky water has stopped, the Honda is red again and the butler has returned from his hols.

The five solar powered garden lights I ordered arrived on Saturday, I bought them so that I could wander around the grounds in my Jim-jams at night without crashing into things as the butler refuses to walk in front with a lantern.

Anyway with great excitement I assembled them and put them in strategic places, and waited for the dark thing to come-nothing-dark as a Tory’s soul.

 So, I waited another day and on Sunday night-nothing-black as a LibDems policies.

I was thinking of phoning the “company” to have a “quiet” word when I decided to have another look at one, inside the dome thingy was an on-off switch which of course was in the “off” position.

Switched them all “on” and took them to the dark walk in cupboard up the spiral staircase-and there was light!

Which goes to prove that there is nothing like a Daft Old Fart, mind you, the manufacturer could have put a note in telling me.

The privatisation of the NHS debacle staggers on

The Royal College of GPs says the government needs to rewrite a key part of its Health Bill which encourages greater competition.

Dr Clare Gerada, the chair of the college, says otherwise the bill risks "unravelling and dismantling" the NHS.

The government says it wants competition based on quality not price to deliver better results for patients.

It is looking at the role of choice and competition as part of its listening exercise on the Health Bill.

Some parts of the government plans are welcomed, such as the greater involvement of GPs in buying and planning care.

But it also challenges the need for a greater market in healthcare and for the first time calls for the entire section on competition in the bill to be rewritten.

Why the need for “reform”, why the need for “competition”, why, why?

And apparently poor language skills are keeping Brits off of the EU gravy train

The head of the European Parliament's London information office has warned of a "serious problem".

Only 5% of the jobs in the European Parliament and Commission are taken by British workers - although the UK contains 12% of the EU's population.

The government is aiming to reverse a decline in language study in schools.

On Monday, for the first time, the European Parliament and European Union are holding an open day for UK school leavers and graduates encouraging them to think of a career in Brussels or Strasbourg.

Michael Shackleton, who runs the European Parliament's communications operation in the UK, said: "People like me are coming to retirement and it’s very clear there are not enough people to take our places.

Who bleedin cares? Just get us out of the damn thing.

First class dining

Airline food with a difference – and the prices are far from sky high.

Chef Tony Caunce has opened up his DC6 Diner inside a Douglas DC6 aircraft which stopped flying three and a half years ago.

Now customers can enjoy an aviation-themed menu based on the names of old military aircraft in the restaurant at Coventry Airport.

It includes 8oz Rapide steak, Vampire gammon, Bomber T-bone steak and a Meteor marinade fillet.

Diners can also look into the cockpit of the transatlantic prop-engine plane. And waiters can be summoned with the original call buttons used on a flight to bring a stewardess.

And unlike the Airbus, there is no fear of it falling out of the sky.

Head start

The tattooed, shrunken head of a Maori warrior starts a long voyage home to New Zealand today when France hands the mystic relic back more than a century after explorers took it away.

At the town hall in Rouen, north-west of Paris, Maori elders will perform chants, prayers and other rituals to honour the dead man, a relic of the ancient practice of mummification of Maori killed in battle.

The head, which tribal custom forbids from being photographed or filmed, will be handed over to the Maori in a box by officials from the town and the Museum of Rouen, which has housed it since 1875, organisers said.

Maori will chant "invocations and solemn tributes to the dead warrior, who will be returned the very next day to his native land in order to find his final resting place," the museum said in a statement.

The restitution follows a four-year political struggle, which ended last year when the French Senate voted a law allowing the return to New Zealand of all Maori human heads held in France - estimated to number between 12 and 15.

A computerised image of the Rouen head from the museum gives a haunting impression of a high-cheek boned youth, masked with swirling green tattoos, with a crooked-toothed grimace and a gruesome gash where one eye should be.

Sounds like me after writing each post.

East more than a few Imperial miles

Grim details about how a fungus turns forest ants into 'zombies' to control their behaviour before killing them have been uncovered by scientists.

Like an alien invader from Dr Who, the parasitic fungus takes over the brains and bodies of tropical carpenter ants.

The insects, which normally live high in the forest canopy, stagger and fall to the ground. Attempting to climb back up, they get no further than an 'understory' spot with ideal conditions for fungal reproduction.

There they die, their mandibles (crushing organs in the mouth) locked in a 'death grip' on leaves about 25cm above the ground where the air is cool and moist.

A few days later, the fungus erupts from the ant's head and releases spores to be picked up by other victims.

Scientists investigating infected carpenter ants in Thailand discovered that the fungus fills the body and heads of the insects, causing muscles to waste away and forcing the muscle fibres apart.

It also gets into the ant's central nervous system, producing 'zombies' which walk randomly and suffer convulsions, causing them to tumble out of the trees.

Fungal cells multiplying in the ant's head detach the mandible muscles, locking the jaws.

Nice…now we know what is wrong with the U-turn Coalition…

And finally:

Dahn Unda

Feathertail gliders come out only at night and are tiny creatures, growing to a maximum length of 8cm.

They are the smallest members of the glider family, but what they lack in size they make up for in agility, being able to glide 20m between branches.

Taronga Zoo has had a bumper glider-breeding season. Twenty-three joeys have been born in the past two months, taking the zoo's population to 48.

Zoo spokesman Mark Williams said Feathertail gliders were common in Sydney and along Australia's east coast.

"But unless you're out at midnight with a set of infra-red goggles, you won't see them," Mr Williams said.

"People don't even know they're there, but they're quite remarkable animals.

"They're tiny, but they can glide for metres and metres. If you and I tried to glide, we wouldn't get very far."

A skin membrane that stretches between the hind and fore legs allows gliders to soar between trees.

"They also have serrated pads on their toes, similar to frogs and geckos, and can cling to smooth surfaces such as painted walls," Mr Williams said.

Taronga Zoo's "reverse daytime" exhibit allows visitors to view Feathertail gliders in a nocturnal setting.

They are not a threatened species, but Mr Williams said domestic cats were a predator and householders often mistook gliders for mice when their cats brought them home.

Oh bless….

That’s it: I’m orf to build a nuclear power station.

And today’s thought: That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong-A thin man left planet, ran; makes a large stride; pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

Angus-grammus.

U-Turn Cam gets tough over the EU: Three Core Cable shorts out: Arrivederci Roma: Pippa’s bits: Batman needs a new Robin: and Jam or cream first?

Stropped raining at the Castle this morn (for a while), much cooler after the last dark thing, I had to put the pillows through the mangle twice, but there is that nice smell of warm, damp pavement coming from the patio.

I was going to treat myself and visit the car boot sale out at The Country Market near Bordon today but I think rain will stop play, and the Honda is now red with yellow spots.

U-turn Cam has decided that he will not fly the EU flag over Number 10 during Europe Day on Monday unlike previous years, some other departments, including the Treasury and Foreign Office, will also not hoist the European symbol.

But the Liberal Democrat Vince Cable's Department for Business will raise the blue and gold flag.

Ooooh scary.

And talking of scary:

David Cameron is being urged by senior Lib Dems to rein in George Osborne amid accusations that the Chancellor is wrecking the survival prospects of the coalition.

The disclosure came as the three most senior members of Nick Clegg's cabinet team launched a direct challenge to the Prime Minister's call for "business as usual" after the fallout from the alternative vote referendum and elections.

Vince Cable, Chris Huhne and Danny Alexander produced a shopping list of demands – including fairer taxes that punish the wealthy and pressing ahead with voting reform – to ensure the Lib Dems retain a grip on coalition policy.

Reads the rest of it if you are feeling masochistic, I nodded orf on paragraph two.

Across to the land of spaghetti trees and empty streets

Go to Rome next Wednesday and you will have the place to yourself, apparently Raffaele Bendandi who died in 1979 aged 86 has predicted that a devastating earthquake will hit the city.

In 1923 he forecast a quake would hit the central Adriatic region of the Marches on January 2 the following year. He was wrong by two days but Italy's main newspaper Corriere della Sera still ran a front page article on "The man who forecasts earthquakes."

Bendandi's fame grew and in 1927 he was awarded a knighthood by Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini. During his long career his theories were studied by several prominent foreign astronomers.

Shocking…..

 And for Pippa fans

This party pic of Pippa Middleton dancing in her bra with an unidentified shirtless gent surfaced yesterday, US Weekly reports. There's no word on when the photo was taken.

Known as a fun-loving girl during her days at the University of Edinburgh, Kate's maid of honor and younger sister helped plan the post-reception shindig at Buckingham Palace. She reportedly requested that disco balls be suspended from the ceiling, which the Palace pooh-poohed.

Pippa is currently dating 30-year-old London broker and former England cricketer Alex Loudon. No, he's not the guy in the image.

Bet Harry is a bit disappointed.

Dahn Unda and right a bit

A 91-year-old New Zealand war veteran says he has been forced to put his new career as a modern-day Batman on hold because he is not allowed to be out fighting crime alone at night.

John Bray says he is more than qualified to deal with evildoers in the North Island town of Waipawa, having served with the Long Range Desert Group, a reconnaissance and raiding unit in North Africa during World War II.

He enlisted as a member of the local community patrol, an organisation which acts as "the eyes and ears" of the police, cruising the streets at night and reporting any suspicious activity.

Like Batman, he started out with a partner but decided to go solo when his Robin equivalent, a man in his late 80s, kept falling asleep on duty.

Now he has been told by the local head of the community patrol organisation that he cannot work alone and he must find a new sidekick if he wants to get back on the roster.

"I want to keep going so now I have to find a new partner," he told AFP, describing his crime fighting role as a success, driving through the streets at night armed only with a spotlight and mobile phone.

Don’t forget the two ton weapon he is driving-bless.

And finally:

Dahn in Devon

An attempt is to be made to make the world's largest scone - at 8ft in diameter.

The unofficial record bid will take place at the Devon County Show on May 19 to help promote a campaign to have the Devon cream tea granted European Protected Designation of Origin (PDO) status, currently awarded to products like champagne, Roquefort cheese and Melton Mowbray pork pies.

Paul Winterton, general manager at dairy producer Langage Farm, based near Plymouth, said: "If we get support for the PDO, the county of Devon can only be strengthened with people recognising the value from this point of view." 

Great, but is it jam or Cream on top? 

That’s it; I’m orf to champion space 

And today’s thought: The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.

Angus