Testing times: Lansley takes on pensions: Croc of a tour: New Hampshire lemon: Be careful what you wish for: and Down your Manhole.

Splendiferous start to the morn at the Castle this light thing, sunny, calm, warmish and dry, did some fettling in the garden yesterday, his Maj was out there from six of the am to nine of the pm, and there are no new broken additions to the empty study, looks like I may get a holiday after all. 

I see that the land of the debt and the home of the needy is having problems sorting out its deficit.

Apparently the US risks default on its $14.3tn (£8.7tn) debt without a deal to raise the borrowing limit before 2 August.

At this point the US Treasury could run out of money to pay all of its bills - which could lead to interest rate rises, threaten the US economic recovery and in turn the global recovery.

Here we go again-what is a “trillion”?

And the Pilchards in the House of un-Commons have finally found out that Atos is a load of old crap.

Atos is responsible for carrying out the government's drive to assess everyone claiming incapacity benefit, to decide whether they may actually be well enough to work. Atos staff are testing around 11,000 benefit claimants a week, to determine how ill they really are and whether they are eligible for benefit payments.

Since the last government launched a campaign to cut the number of sickness benefits claimants, the process has been controversial, with charities and politicians warning that vulnerable people have wrongly had vital payments removed.

On Tuesday a select committee will publish a detailed and critical report on the way the Department for Work and Pensions policy has been implemented, looking in part at the way Atos has carried out its contract to assess claimants. The work and pensions committee launched its investigation this year after many complaints about the testing process.

More than 400,000 appeals have been lodged against decisions not to grant the benefit since it was launched in October 2008, and 39% have been successful. The tribunal’s service has been forced to double the number of staff handling appeals, to accommodate the huge volume of complaints. The cost of tribunals is estimated at well over £30m a year.

Atos, a Paris-based IT company, is being paid £100m a year to carry out the work capability assessments (WCAs), allowing the government to phase out incapacity benefit and replace it with the employment and support allowance (ESA).

 No mates “Doctors” being paid by a French company and funded by the UK Gov...No wonder it doesn’t bloody work.

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley, the man who is doing such a spiffing job bollixing up the NHS has now turned his attention to public service pensions.

Mr Lansley warns that the reforms outlined last month will not meet the Coalition’s “commitment to maintain gold standard pensions”.

He says the proposals are set to prompt public sector workers to stop contributing to their pensions which “would increase pressure on the social security budget” as people rely on state benefits to fund their retirement.

The Health Secretary describes parts of the reform proposals as “inappropriate” and “unrealistic” and warns they will hit women health workers particularly hard.  

Says the man who has a nice “gold plated” pension stowed away....

Dahn Unda

NT News photographer Katrina Bridgeford took this amazing photograph of Brutus, a 5.5m saltwater croc on the Adelaide River, just over 100km south of Darwin, last week.

Ms Bridgeford was on the cruise with sons Jordan, 14, and Dylan Woodward, 11, of Sydney, NSW, four-year-old niece Skye Bridgeford and boyfriend Daniel Wilson.

Son Dylan had only two words when the massive man-eater rose out of the water in front of the group: "Holy crap!''

 

Bet some poo came out.....

Across the Pacific

Police say a man angry that a New Hampshire car dealer wouldn't take back the van he bought returned to the dealership and deliberately crashed into six other vehicles.

David Cross of Salisbury, Mass. is facing six counts of criminal mischief. He's been released on personal recognizance.

Police say Cross bought the van from the Portsmouth Used Car Superstore on Monday. After a mechanic found it had a host of problems, he tried to return it on Tuesday, but was spurned by the dealer. The 42-year-old allegedly drove back to the dealership just before midnight Tuesday and rammed the van into the other vehicles, causing about $20,000 in damages.

Cross tells The Portsmouth Herald the van was a "lemon" and he was driven by anger. 

If it was that bad how come he managed to drive it from Massachusetts to New Hampshire?

Nearly Dahn Unda

Researchers hoping to photograph great white sharks got what they wished for when a 500 kilogram beast flew through the air and landed in their boat.

The Oceans Research group were in Mossel Bay, South Africa, on Monday, putting fish oil and bait in the water to attract sharks so they could take photographs of their fins for identification.

"Usually when we do that we get a certain amount of sharks around the boat, which happened on Monday," team leader Dorien Schroder told the BBC.

"Until I heard a splash and I looked back to see a white shark pretty much mid-air hovering above one of my interns”

"Luckily the intern stepped towards me ... so I grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her on to a platform that we have at the stern of the boat.

"[The shark] was panicking because it did not intend to land on the boat; it thought it would land back into the water.

The shark's heavy landing cut the fuel lines, so the research team called for help from another boat and the crew came to help pull the shark back into the water.

When that failed, the boat was towed into a harbour, while researchers poured water on the shark's gills to keep it alive, and the animal was lifted into the water using a crane.

 Bet a lot of poo came out....

 And finally:

A California man got stuck headfirst in a manhole for about 40 minutes when he tried to retrieve his wallet, police say.

Ceres police officers found Jared Medeiros, 21, of Ceres stuck waist deep in a manhole Friday, Sacramento's KCRA-TV reported. When they arrived, his legs were flailing in the air.

The fire department had to be called in to help pull out Medeiros after he couldn't be budged. He was stuck for about 40 minutes.

Police said Medeiros only suffered some minor scrapes and contusions. They also found that he was intoxicated, but not impaired, the TV station said. 

Numpty....

 That’s it: I’m orf to Chile to watch the stars.

 And today’s thought: "It's all right leaping about the stage when you're 20 but when you get to 25 it gets a bit embarrassing - Bill Wyman, The Rolling Stones, 1967.

Angus

Flash in the pan: U-Turn Cam’s Big Issue: Working the system: Toast: Hess on the move: and Flash mob planks:

The Sun has got his hat on at the Castle this Sunday morn, no wet stuff, no windy stuff and no nippy stuff, the study is empty of holiday computers, his Maj is busy in the garden unlike last dark thing when he crashed out through sheer boredom.

My thoughts go out to those in Norway who have lost loved ones, and to the family of Amy Winehouse who had a short, sad life.

It seems that we are not into those silent, ugly, Earth destroying motors that run on that stuff which comes out of three pin sockets.

Only 215 cars were bought under the scheme, which offers subsidies of up to £5,000 each, over the last three months.

Of these it is understood that around three quarters were bought by businesses, meaning that just over 50 were acquired by private motorists.

Since the launch of the scheme at the start of the year a total of 680 electric cars have been bought, bringing the total to 2,500.

The latest figures were released by the Office for Low Emission Vehicles, based at the Department for Transport.  

Shocking......

Apparently U-Turn Cam is going to write in The Big Issue about his upbringing and the advice his father gave him.

In an article for next month's edition of The Big Issue, which U-Turn is guest-editing, he also discloses advice his father gave him that could provide useful in the phone-hacking scandal: to remain optimistic "no matter how bad things are".

180 Cam wrote The Big Issue's regular feature, My Younger Self, in which contributors offer advice to their 16-year-old selves. Mr Miliband's defeat of his older brother David – long-seen as the future prime minister in the family – in last year's leadership contest is well documented. But similar fraternal tensions in the multi millionaire family are less well-known.

Talking about his older brother Alex, now a high-flying QC, Dave writes: "I lived in the shadow of my older brother. He was three years older, and was a huge success on the sports field and almost always lead actor in the school plays.

He writes: "A lot has been written about my background, but the great privilege of my upbringing wasn't just the wealth, it was the warmth. We all got on, we were all there for each other, there was so much love and support.

Someone fetch me a bucket-still it may be a useful contact for him after the next election...

And Top schools could see a surge in middle class dinner ladies as parents exploit new admissions policy loophole, a government adviser has warned.

Planned changes to admissions policy which will see children of school staff moved to the front of the queue could be exploited by sharp-elbowed parents desperate to win places at oversubscribed schools, it was claimed.

Chris Waterman, who helped draft the current admissions policy, said parents would go to "any length" to get their children into their first-choice school and would target any loophole in the new rules.

But parents already in part-time employment at schools said having their children at the school where they work was a fair reward for hard-working mothers.

Huma Imam, who works as a lunchtime supervisor and teaching assistant at Brookland Junior School, Hertfordshire, where her daughter Hibah is a pupil, said: "I think it is a good idea, for me it is easier.

 No comment......

Scientists have “discovered” how to make perfect toast

The optimum thickness of the bread should be 14mm and the ideal amount of butter 0.44 grams per square inch.

The toaster dial must also be set to five out of six on a 900-watt appliance to achieve a temperature of 154C. Once the perfect slice has popped out it should be buttered immediately, sliced once diagonally, and then served on a plate warmed to 45C, to minimise condensation beneath the toast.

Study leader Dr Dom Lane, a consultant food researcher, spent a week toasting and tasting 2,000 slices to find the right cooking formula. He found if more or less than 216 seconds was taken to cook the toast it would lose the desired 12:1 exterior to interior crispiness.

The best bread to toast he found was a pale seeded loaf taken fresh from a fridge at 3C. And both sides had to be cooked at the same time rather than on one side to help “curtail excessive moisture loss”.

 

Crumbs......

Rudolf Hess has been exhumed, cremated and his ashes scattered on a lake

The decision was taken after his grave at the family plot in Wunsiedel, southern Germany, became a shrine for neo-Nazis.

Hess was buried according to his wishes in Wunsiedel churchyard in Bavaria after his 1987 suicide in a Berlin prison aged 93.

His gravestone read "Ich hab's gewagt" ("I dared.").

But, because of neo-Nazis paying homage, including performing Hitler salutes in the churchyard, the Lutheran church council refused a request by Hess's descendants to extend a lease on the plot, local council member Peter Seisser said.

The end?

And finally:

 

Over to the windy City on the left

A group of people organized a flash mob to plank at 'The Bean' in Millennium Park.

It may have appeared like they were spontaneously lying down around 'The Bean,' but no, this was planned.

Hundreds of people RSVPed on Facebook that they'd take part in the "Planking at The Bean Flash Mob." 

The mind boggles.....

That’s it: I’m orf to batten down the hatches 

And today’s thought: I chose the path less travelled . . . but only because I was lost.

 Angus

U-Turn Cam heads for the Med: Make ‘em laugh: Global cooling: Forking hell!: Floating Gold: Parking the dead: and a Boat car (which isn't a boat)

It’s not a beautiful morning, it’s not a beautiful day-there’s no bright golden haze o'er the Castle-just a bloody big black cloud leaking sky water-told you it wouldn’t last.

The study is about half empty of broken holiday-makers evil machines, the garden is still in need of a good fettle and his Maj has got the hump because he can’t go out.

I see that U-Turn Cam has slipped back into his millionaire character and has decided to bugger orf to somewhere in the Med for his summers hols.

Last night Downing Street refused to comment on the location of the Camerons' holiday this year, but another Government source said it was certain to be out of Britain. He may spend some time in the country away from Downing Street at the start of September. 

Alright for some...

And:

The Cabinet Secretary, Sir Gus O’Donnell, has asked leading civil servants across government to assess the impact Coalition policies will have on the happiness of the population and to consider options for increasing individuals' satisfaction with their lives.

Plans could include improving the mental health of the workforce so people with depression and other illnesses find jobs, protecting parks and green spaces, and reducing pressure on children and families.

Last November, Mr Cameron announced that a new wellbeing measure would be developed as an alternative to the traditional economic assessments of national progress, such as GDP. He argued that ministers had a legitimate role in helping people to “feel better” and build “a better life”. 

Ha-fucking-ha,

According to The Express

The controversy over global warming hotted up last night after US scientists revealed that the Earth’s temperature declined over the past ­decade.

They said a surge in the use of coal-fired power stations in China may have helped cool the climate by pumping sulphur into the atmosphere.

But they also warned that the build-up of greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide from fossil fuels like coal and oil means that respite will be short-lived – particularly as China is cleaning up its power stations and sulphur quickly drops out of the air.

Dr David Whitehouse of the Global Warming Policy Foundation said: “It is good news that the authors recognise that there has been no global temperature increase since 1998.

“Even after the standstill appears time and again in peer-reviewed scientific studies, many commen­tators still deny its reality.

“We live in the warmest decade since thermometer records began about 150 years ago, but it hasn’t got any warmer for at least a decade.”

If they had read this Piss Poor Blog over the last few years it would have saved them a lot of time.

Dahn Unda

An unsteady forklift dropped a container full of fine Australian wine worth more than $1 million, smashing most of the bottles. The winemaker says he's "gut-wrenched, shocked and numb" after the loss of his flagship Shiraz.

Sparky Marquis of Mollydooker Wines lost a third of his Velvet Glove Shiraz production after the accident that destroyed all but one of the 462 cases bound for the United States. Each bottle of the Mollydooker wine sells for $200.

Marquis said Friday that when workers opened up the dropped container, "it was like a murder scene. There was red everywhere."

He said the wine was fully insured.

The accident has crippled Mollydooker's U.S. launch in September. It will also impact the wine market in Australia.

 So there is some good news then...those Aussies never stop wineing....

Somewhere on the one of the big, wet salty things

Believed to be the most expensive yacht in the world, the entire hull of the 100-foot History Supreme is wrapped in a thin layer of gold. In all, 100 tonnes of solid gold and platinum were used to bling this boat - on the deck, in the dining area, on the railings, the anchor and other accents.

It was commissioned by an anonymous Malaysian businessman, who reportedly paid about the equivalent of $4.6 billion.

That works out to about $46 million per foot.

The vessel, which took three years to build, is the handiwork of Stuart Hughes, a jeweller in Liverpool. 

That’s nearly as expensive as the Honda,

 Over to the land of the living dead

Nearly 60,000 of California's more than 2 million disabled parking placards issued by the Department of Motor Vehicles might have been sent to dead people.

The placards allow motorists to park for free or in special designated spaces.

The DMV checks state death records every two years and the Los Angeles Times reports that this year's crosscheck uncovered about 56,000 deceased placard holders.

The agency misses many of those people because of mismatched birth dates, but the DMV says fraudulent use of disabled parking placards is on the rise. More than a third of the placards displayed in vehicles are used illegally.

The DMV says it's studying ways to make the process more efficient.

Dead clever that—how about phoning people up?

 And finally:

A car made from a speedboat has been turned into the Robin Reliant driven by Del Boy from Only Fools And Horses.

The ‘boatmobile’, originally made for a spoof spy film in the 1960s, had been rotting in a lock up for 20 years.

But Shaun Atkinson from Blackpool bought and restored the car boat, converting it into the old banger from Only Fools And Horses.

Atkinson has now made the boatmobile, one of only three known three wheeler boat cars, road legal after spending £2,000 on revamping the car.

‘My wife thinks I'm strange but I supposed you can't blame her because of what we drive around in,’ said Atkinson.

‘Sadly we can't take the car into the sea but that doesn't matter. Everyone keeps staring at us – so much so we might have the best tourist attraction in town.’

It can be spotted travelling along the seafront in Blackpool.

Best place for it.......

That’s it: I’m orf to look for tantalising fluctuations 

And today’s thought: "A week is a long time in politics, and three weeks is twice as long." - Rosie Barnes

Angus

Air Miles Andy buggers orf: Hospital houses: Jar head Bear: Dead Parrot: Nicked Hamster: and the Test Card returneth.

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day-there’s a bright golden haze o’er the Castle-------it won’t last.....

The study is overflowing with non working things; it seems that “they” all want their broken machines fixed while “they” are away on their hols to be picked up on their return, my storage charges have just doubled.

Up in the posh bit of the Smoke

Apparently the fat old Duke of York is to stand down as the UK's trade envoy.

Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Prince Andrew will give up his title as Britain's "special representative" for Trade and Investment.

The prince's judgement has been questioned for holding meetings with Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi's son Saif, and for entertaining the son-in-law of Tunisia's ousted president Zine El Abidine Ben Ali at Buckingham Palace.

And his friendship with Mr Epstein, who was sentenced to 18 months in prison in 2008 for soliciting a minor for prostitution, led to calls for Prince Andrew to step down from his role in March, but Prime Minister David Cameron gave him his full backing. 

Another Piss Poor decision from U-Turn Cam....

And the Dept of Health

Believes that nearly 10 per cent of hospital land is "under used" – the equivalent of 276 football pitches. They want it to be re-allocated to build affordable housing, with the money reinvested in the NHS to benefit patients.

Critic’s fear that much of the land earmarked for development is green space – used by patients and relatives – and say that selling off surplus land now could make it harder for hospitals to redevelop in the future. But Simon Burns, a Health minister, said selling off the land could raise up to £2.5bn over the next five years – the equivalent of pay for 50,000 nurses.

"If we want to modernise the NHS and make it more efficient, then we need to be proactive and identify land that is no longer used or needed," he said. "Any money raised from surplus land will be used to benefit patients. We are increasing investment in the NHS by £12.5bn, but faced with an ageing population and rising costs of treatments, the NHS needs to be smarter with its resources."  

Err-OUR NHS-OUR resources, how about asking US?

 Over in the Great Smoky Mountains a fair way to the left

A black bear is back in the woods in Tennessee after getting help with a problem — a plastic jar stuck on its head.

State wildlife officers looked for the bear for three weeks after reports he was caught in the jug. The Knoxville News Sentinel said the male bear was roaming around Newport, in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains.

On July 17, wildlife officer Shelly Hammonds was checking another report of the bear when the animal ran in front of her vehicle. Hammonds fired a tranquillizer dart and the bear collapsed in downtown Newport.

The bear weighed just 115 pounds, about half its expected weight. It was released into the Cherokee National Forest. Wildlife officials believe the bear got into the jar while foraging through garbage.

 Recycled Bear?

Dahn in Pompey

A dangerous driver mourning the death of his bird was jailed for four months.

Father-of-eight John Williams crashed after a high-speed police car chase, then told officers he had only tried to flee because he was traumatised by his parrot’s demise.

Williams, 33, went for a drive at 3.30am to calm down after the death of his feathered friend, but sped off when police tried to pull him over for a faulty light.

The two-mile chase through Portsmouth lasted four minutes and ended with Williams smashing into a fence.

Christopher Wing, defending, told Portsmouth crown court: “That night his pet died and Mr Williams decided to go for a drive. When he was followed by a police car, he panicked.”

The court heard Williams had a long list of previous convictions, had been banned from driving nine times and at the time of the offence on January 17 was on bail for stealing from a car and going equipped for theft, for which he later received a 25-week prison sentence.


Anyway it was only asleep.....

Up to Forest Hall

Where police have been having a problem with an intruder which has been captured alive but has so far refused to reveal its true identity, greeting all questions with a dead-eyed stare and total silence.

It is described as ‘fully grown and mostly brown with a white underside’ and is known to like eating yoghurt and bananas.

Now police are appealing for its associates – or owners – to come forward. ‘We don’t usually have an issue of hamsters in the station and we’re concerned he may belong to a family who lost him,’ said Insp John Smith, of Forest Hall police station in Newcastle.

Good job Freddie Starr doesn’t live nearby...

And finally:

 The BBC is such a card

BBC bosses are to consider bringing back the test card overnight as part of a radical plan to save £1.3 billion, it has been claimed.

Daytime television schedules could also be slashed, expensive US imports reduced and major series repeated several times to cut the corporation’s spending.

Big budget sporting events including Formula 1 motor racing will also come under scrutiny as the corporation examines ways to reduce spending over four years.

BBC executives are reported to be meeting the governing body today to discuss the options as they look for savings in light of a licence fee freeze.

One proposal on the table is to scrap much of BBC 2’s afternoon schedule, replacing game shows with repeats from BBC 4 which would become largely an arts channel.

How about sacking some of the overpaid “executives” and “stars” that currently inhabit Auntie instead?

That’s it: I’m orf to hunt for magnetic monopoles

 And today’s thought: Give your money to charities . . . the ones you'll need in old age

 Angus

Tiger wives: Eurozone backlash: Lords are coining it in: The ups and downs of life: A Helivan: Fat German nudists: Bridge under troubled water: Alabama Confederates: and an exploding Manhole.

Dark, damp, drizzly and dingy at the Castle this morn, very late-couldn’t be bothered to get up, been to Tesco for stale bread, gruel and pussy food, the study is still empty of broken doo dahs, the garden still need fettling and I need a holiday. 

Apparently the World is run by “Tiger Wives”

According to the Torygraph; women such as Wendi Deng (Rupert bear), Cheri Blair (Tone), Anne Sinclair (Dominique Strauss-Kahn), Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (Guess who) and Melania Trump (up your tower) are the real power behind their husbands.

Read the whole lot if you want (click on the link over the photo) but I for one am not surprised by this “revelation”. 

And Auntie is commenting on the “Eurozone” thingy.

Eurozone leaders are set to meet for a crunch summit to try to resolve the Greek debt crisis and prevent any further contagion to other so-called peripheral economies.

Policymakers will discuss a range of measures, including a new loan package to Greece and the role of private investors in any debt restructuring.

Reports suggest a new tax on banks will also be debated.

But German Chancellor Angela Merkel has cautioned against over optimism.

The Governor of the Bank of England, Sir Mervyn King, has said that the crisis in the Eurozone posed the most serious and immediate risk to the UK's financial system.

President Barack Obama has also weighed in, calling Mrs Merkel on Tuesday night to stress the importance of tackling the debt crisis in sustaining the global economic recovery.

The International Monetary Fund has also called on European leaders to take swift and decisive action.

Delaying such action further would be "very costly" for the world economy, it said.

Why does all this sound so familiar?

And despite expenses “reforms”

The unelected members of the House of Lords are claiming even more of our money. Since the changes were introduced the average sum received by members of the House of Lords had risen from £270 to £274 for every attendance.

The Coalition’s appointments to the upper chamber also boosted the overall expenses bill, figures released by the parliamentary authorities suggested.

The new system was put in place last October following a series of scandals that resulted in two peers being jailed. The £174 overnight subsistence, £86.50 day subsistence and £75 office costs allowances were scrapped in favour of a tax-free flat rate of £300 per day, or £150 per half day. Travel expenses were reimbursed separately as previously.

Membership of the Lords rose from 750 in 2009-10 to 819 in the fourth quarter of 2010-11. The average daily attendance between January and March was 497 — up more than a quarter on the same period in the previous year.

The total financial support granted to peers in 2010-11 was £18.7 million, compared with £17.2 million in 2009-10.

But do not forget-“We are all in this together”.......

In the land of ups and downs

A suburban Dallas woman’s well-meaning attempt to help her future husband overcome his fear of heights went horribly wrong when a bungee ride they were in got stuck 50 feet off the ground for three hours because cables got tangled.

Irving residents William Mancera and Thalia Rodriguez were not injured during their Monday ordeal. Dallas fire-fighters eventually used an aerial ladder truck to help get the couple safely to the ground.

Mancera tells KXAS-TV that his fear of heights "won again" and he is "never riding anything of that sort ever again." But he also says the ordeal has brought him and his fiancée closer together. They plan to marry in February. 

She wishes.......

 Back in East Sussex

Visitors to the Blackberry Wood campsite, near Ditchling in East Sussex, will get their camping holidays off to a flying start if they spend their break in this contraption.

Father-of-three Johnson bought the former Royal Navy copter for £5,000 and has already stripped it down to make way for caravan furniture.

Happy campers can hire it for about £60 a night, plus a charge of £5 and £9 per person.

It will be surrounded by a mock army camp, complete with sandbags and an army shelter. Such a unique camping feature is bound to take off.

Those who don't fancy bedding down in that particular vehicle can opt to stay in a double-decker bus or a tiny ’60s Dutch ‘bubble’ caravan.

 

Must cross Ditchling orf the list of places to stay....

 And over in the land of funny tasting cabbage

The naked sunbathers who once crowded Germany’s Baltic beaches and city parks are becoming an endangered species due to shifting demographics, the fall of the Berlin Wall, growing prosperity and widening girths.

Allegedly the main problem is the shrinking population. The number of Germans fell by more than 3.2 million over the last three decades even though the country’s total population has managed to remain more or less steady at about 82 million thanks to immigration — often from countries in Eastern Europe and the Balkans as well as Turkey and Arabic countries.

Oh dear a dearth of fat nudists-what a shame.....

Right a fair bit

A truck overloaded with sand has caused a bridge to collapse in China - leaving a scene that looked like the aftermath of an earthquake.

The vehicle, which was weighed down with 160 tons of sand, crushed the Baihe Bridge in Beijing's Huairou district.

The 230 metre structure can only support 55 tons and crumpled under the weight of the lorry as it tried to cross.

Officials have put in place and emergency repair plan for the crossing which opened in 1987.

Nobody has been reported injured but the driver was detained for questioning.

Liang Chaoyang, deputy director of Huairou road department, said: "We are going to build a contemporary road down by bridge for vehicles to pass."

 Should have gone to Specsavers....

Back across to the Southern bit of the land of “temporary taxes”

The last of the more than 60,000 Confederate veterans who came home to Alabama after the Civil War died generations ago, yet residents are still paying a tax that supported the neediest among them.

Despite fire-and-brimstone opposition to taxes among many in a state that still has "Heart of Dixie" on its license plates, officials never stopped collecting a property tax that once funded the Alabama Confederate Soldiers' Home, which closed 72 years ago. The tax now pays for Confederate Memorial Park, which sits on the same 102-acre tract where elderly veterans used to stroll.

I have heard of this sort of thing before-isn’t our “income tax” a temporary thing imposed to support the Napoleonic Wars?

 And finally:

 Up a fair bit

Amateur video shows a car being hurled into the air after flood waters blow open a manhole in Montreal.

Video provided by Canadian broadcasters showed the explosion of water caused by a flooded sewer.

Water rushed from under the car pushing the vehicle's rear several feet into the air before eventually shifting it from over the fierce jet of fluid.

The last time my manhole exploded was after a dodgy biryani from the Delhi Belly takeaway.

That’s it: I’m orf to search for the Bog Spider-with a rolled up newspaper.

 And today’s thought: It may be that your sole purpose in life is . . . simply to serve as a warning to others.

 Angus

The price of advice: Kashmir centres: The Scootcase: Postman Pratt: Femen: and Crimbo comes early.

Usual at the Castle this morn-dull, damp and dingy, I thought that the flood had come yesterday aftermorn, the sky opened up and dumped most of the Atlantic on the garden, and then did it again later in the dark bit.

Oh to be in England now that Global warming’s here........

 While the Rupert Bear debacle continues to dominate the news

Downing Street chose yesterday to publish the salaries of ministerial special advisers.

And the winners are:

Craig Oliver, the Prime Minister's head of communications, and the new director of political strategy, Andrew Cooper; they both earn £140,000.

Nick Clegg's chief of staff, Jonny Oates, earns £98,500.

David Cameron's press officer, Gabby Bertin, earns £80,000.

Steve Hilton, the Prime Minister's director of strategy and "Notting Hill set" stalwart, earns £90,000, a salary unaffected by the February arrival of the similar sounding director of political strategy, Andrew Cooper.

Former Liberal Democrat MP Julia Goldsworthy, who narrowly lost her highly marginal Cornish seat at the 2010 election, now earns £74,000 as special adviser to Danny Alexander.

The total pay bill for the political aides, known as SpAds, for the period 13 May 2010 to 31 March 2011 was £4.5m, which Downing Street pointed out is less than the £6.8m paid between 6 April 2009 and 31 March 2010. 

Oh well...that’s alright then.....

And according to the Torygraph

Pakistani spies are operating in Britain; there is apparently a “Kashmir centre” in London, a Scotland Yard source said they were liaising with US authorities but had not made any arrests.

Allegedly money is being sent from Pakistan in order to exert political pressure on the government, it was claimed on Tuesday. 

Methinks they will have to get in line behind Rupert Bear......

And the Express has this

The Scootcase which is on sale for £250 – is aimed at the business flyer, designer Micro Scooters UK, of Colchester, Essex, also believes it’s handy for short commutes.

A spokesman said: “It’s a great way to reduce your carbon footprint.”

 And to look a proper Pillock....

Up in Burnley

Postie Steve Tasker, of Burnley, just north of Manchester, admitted to interfering with mail, damage and theft, reports the Telegraph newspaper.

The 43-year-old Tasker said he meant to deliver all that mail one day. That's why he stored it in his home and his backyard shed over a period of three and a half years.

According to the paper, postal officials put Tasker under surveillance last September after receiving complaints from people who weren't getting their mail. One day, they saw him start work around noon and knock off at 2 p.m. with more than 300 pieces of mail undelivered.

Tasker was sentenced to 32 weeks in jail, suspended for a year. He was also ordered to get alcohol treatment and enter a program that teaches people life skills like problem solving.

 Should have bought a Scootcase.....

Over in Georgia

A topless demonstration in Ukraine got ugly outside the Georgian embassy when a security guard fought with half-naked women on Monday.

The shirtless ladies from the women's activist group FEMEN were part of a larger protest in Kiev criticizing the Georgian government for jailing three photographers accused of spying, according to the Guardian.

A security guard shoved FEMEN members and kicked a photographer taking their picture before a policemen separated them, as seen in a video posted on Animal New York.

It was a busy week for the women of FEMEN who just can't seem to keep their shirts on. Last week, the group splashed around in a Kiev fountain to draw attention to expected hot-water shortages during the Euro 2012 soccer tournament which will be held in Ukraine and Poland.

 Whatever happened to the gentler sex? 

And finally:

Crimbo raises its ugly head

Right a bit and up a smidge in Denmark, The annual World Santa Claus Congress is a chance to put on that hot, itchy red outfit in the middle of the summer this year that sounded like a merry idea to 150 St. Nicks who convened in Copenhagen on July 18 for three days of Noel-themed revelry, organizers said.

The ho-ho-hoedown has been a Danish staple for 54 years. Danish entertainer Professor Tribini created the Christmas in July tradition in 1957 when he invited Santa’s to help rekindle the holiday atmosphere during the summer.

This year, jolly old elves from 12 countries -- including an American delegation of Santa’s with natural beards, not fakes -- made the trip Dyrehavsbakken, an amusement park outside of the Danish capital. Also known as Bakken, it's touted as the world's oldest amusement park, dating back to the 16th Century when it was a public bath.  

Ho-fucking-Ho.......I hope the knobs at Tesco don’t read this or there will be Crimbo cards in store next week....

That’s it: I’m orf to plant some oil seed rape. 

And today’s thought: Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Angus

Part time business Duck and Duckess: Behave-or else!: Smoke gets in your ears: Flogging brats: Time and tide...: and the 14th Boryeong Mud Festival.

There is a touch of mist and mellow fruitfulness at the Castle this morn, the study is still empty, the sky water has made the garden behave like a bunch of Triffids and I am fed up with hearing about Rupert the bear and news international.

Allegedly the Duck and Duckess of Cambridge are to become 'ambassadors' for British business, undertaking future royal tours to boost the country's commercial interests abroad.

During their three-day visit to California earlier this month, the Duck and Duckess attended an event organised by UK Trade and Investment (UKTI) in support of British technology investments and the development of east London's "Tech City" into a world-leading area for technology and software design. 

Oh well, that gives them the experience they need then....as long as they don’t have to “work” more than two weeks in a row.

According to the House of Lords

"Nudging" people into healthier behaviour, as the government aims to do, will not work without the threat of regulation, according to a House of Lords committee that is critical of attempts to curb junk food and alcohol consumption through voluntary agreements with food and drinks companies.

Regulation should never be ruled out by government departments involved in trying to influence behaviour change, says the report. It criticises the recent attempt to engage the food and drinks industries in tackling excessive drinking and obesity through a "public health responsibility deal", in which they pledged to make healthier products and market them more carefully.

The committee also recommended more research should be done to find out how best to reduce people's use of cars for medium and long journeys. It urged the department of transport to consider regulations and financial penalties in the attempt to cut car use. It wants the government to set public targets for reducing carbon emissions from car use and announce the steps it will take if a re-education does not come about through voluntary means.

 When does the “elected” house of old farts come in?

Apparently passive smoking nearly doubles a teenager's risk of hearing loss, research reveals.

Investigators say the findings, from a study of over 1,500 US teens aged 12 to 19, suggest that second-hand tobacco smoke directly damages young ears.

And the greater the exposure the greater the damage.

Often it was enough to impair a teen's ability to understand speech, Archives of Otolaryngology - Head & Neck Surgery reports.

It is still unclear how much exposure could be harmful and when the damage might occur.

In the study, around 40% of the 800 teens who had been exposed to second-hand smoke had detectable hearing problems, compared to about 25% of the 750 teens who had not had this exposure.

 So, if you smoke and your teen ignore you it’s your own fault.....

Dahn Unda

A Geelong, Australia, woman could lose custody of her children after she tried to sell them on eBay, official say.

The woman, who is in her 30s, put photos of her son and daughter, both under 10 years old, last week, apparently as a joke, the Geelong Advertiser reported Monday. The listing was online for one day last week, and was taken down after police contacted eBay.

The police believed the woman's excuse that the listing was a joke and did not press criminal charges; however, the Department of Human Services is still investigating her actions.

"We are conducting an investigation to ensure the children's welfare and safety are taken care of and looked after," a human services representative said. "If it is deemed severe and the children were at risk then yes, that would be the case [taking the children off the mother]."

Child advocacy groups are outraged by the stunt.

"I think it's a fairly twisted sense of humour. It's a sick joke and it's distasteful," Kevin Zibell, president of Centre for Excellence in Child and Family Welfare, said.

She would have been better orf asking for a swap....

Back in broken Blighty

A sports car was carried away by the tide after its owner left it on a slipway to dodge a £2 parking fee.

The Alfa Romeo Spider was parked on a restricted area used by fishermen.

The driver left it at The Hard in Portsmouth at 8.30am on Friday before getting a train to London with the only set of keys.

But it was swamped by the tide at 12.20pm.

A car park opposite charges £2 for the day.

The unnamed owner’s son-in-law, Steve Sterling, said: “The car is his pride and joy. He’ll be upset.”

Serves the tight git right....

And finally:

Over in Sarf Korea

The Boryeong Mud Festival, at Daecheon Beach, features wrestling, sliding and even a contest to crown a mud king.


Thought it was Glastonbury for a second, but there is not enough mud.


That’s it: I’m orf to check the moat for lost landscapes.


And today’s thought: "Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help." - Tom Cruise



Angus