Wednesday 24 August 2011

Higgs Boson-not: Still no plan “B”: Thessaloniki doughnuts: Dick shoots dick: Cittadella bans Kebabs: and Orchid bouncers.


Dark, damp and dismal again at the Castle this morn, after a fourteen hour day I sorted out all the broken whatnots in the study and my lovely young lady is coming to shear what is left of my head furniture.

Sad news today, I received an email from Sally in Norfolk this morn, my dear blogging friend Devonshire Dumpling (DD) of “No Clue” passed away in July, I will miss her writing, sense of humour and comments; life really is a bitch.



Last month physicists working at Cern near Geneva, where the LHC is based, announced bumps in their data that they said might have been the first signs of the elusive Higgs boson.
But announcing their latest results at a conference in Mumbai, India, the researchers said the signals had faded significantly after a new analysis, which was based on nearly twice as much data.
Guido Tonelli, spokesman for the Compact Muon Solenoid (CMS) detector group at Cern, told The Guardian: "We see no striking evidence of anything that could resemble a discovery."
Sergio Bertolucci, Cern's research director, said on Monday: "Discoveries are almost assured within the next twelve months. If the Higgs exists, the LHC experiments will soon find it. If it does not, its absence will point the way to new physics.” 

Nothing like hedging your bets.



That the squeeze on household budgets is choking Britain's fragile recovery.
Backbench Tory leaders are becoming increasingly jittery about the country's flat lining economy and fear it could cast a shadow over the party's annual conference in October. They are pressing the Chancellor to trail a go-for-growth package in his conference speech to counteract problems beyond his control in the euro zone and the United States.
Anxiety will be increased by a survey published today showing that fewer than half of Britain's 11 million low to middle-income earners have any money left over at the end of the month – another blow to hopes that the economy will pick up after the 0.2 per cent growth seen between April and June.
Tory MPs admit that increasing food and fuel prices and inflation running above pay rises are leaving many families with no spare money for goods and luxuries that could spur the recovery. 

No shit...



Greek police have blown a hole in a ring of alleged crooks that had cornered the doughnut market in a beach resort.
It started with complaints that two Bulgarian men and a former Greek wrestling champion were using violence to choke off the trade by other doughnut vendors on Paliouri beach in the Halkidiki peninsula near Thessaloniki.
So an undercover officer posed as a doughnut seller, police said Tuesday, and he was attacked, leading to the arrest of the three aggressive doughnut sellers.
As a result, they have been charged with blackmail and fraud. They also were charged with food safety violations after police found they had stashed their product in an abandoned hotel that was open to the elements and used by bathers as a toilet.


No wonder Greece is so deep in the brown runny stuff.




Joshua Seto was rushed to hospital after shooting his phallus with a loaded pink pistol that was placed in his pants. .
Seto suffered the horrific yet bizarre injury in a supermarket car park when he attempted to pack fiancée Cara Christopher's gun in the front of his trousers.
The loaded pink pistol discharged as he approached a fast food restaurant and according to local police, the round 'passed through his penis and exited out the back of his left groin'.


Bet that stings...



The mayor of a northern Italian town announced a ban on shops selling kebabs and sandwiches from Saturday, saying he objected to their smell and complained they were not part of Italian tradition.
Massimo Botocci, a member of the populist Northern League and the mayor of Cittadella, near Padua, said such shops were banned from the centre of the medieval walled city.
This kind of food production was "not suited to our historic centre (because of) the way in which the foods are eaten, the smell they give off...” said Mr Botocci, citing health and sanitation regulations.
"If someone wants to eat a kebab, he can do it at home or outside of the historic centre," he said.
"They aren't part of our tradition."
Mr Botocci, who also sits as a deputy for the Northern League, made headlines in 2009 when he introduced measures against beggars and street sellers as well as parking restrictions for caravans to dissuade travelling people.
He has also proposed mandatory public service for under-16s found drinking alcohol.


Nice to see that democracy is alive and well in Italy.


And finally:
 


Bowen Orchid Society has been told that it needs bouncers on door of annual conference.
The Bowen Orchid Society had more than 200 people from across the country show up for the event in June.
Most of the attendees were of an age where pushing up the daisies was more likely to occur than an assault with a deadly petal.
Bowen Orchid Society member and former president Vince Smith said the group was shocked when they were told liquor licensing laws required them to hire some muscle.
"Most of them were like me, old and crippled," Mr Smith said.
Club treasurer Pat Tracey said she spoke with the local police and then contacted liquor licensing.
"We had to pick three people from our group to be designated security for the night. We were hardly hell raisers," she said.
The orchid conference organisers were also told they could only sell spirits and beer in cans, no glasses - a condition typical of a major race meet.
Queensland Hotels Association membership consultant Steve Aylward said the Office of Liquor and Gaming Regulation had adopted "a one-glove-fits-all approach".
"(OLGR) doesn't seem to recognise the difference between a Hells Angels' reunion and an orchid show," he said.
OLGR said each application was risk-assessed and considered on a case-by-case basis.
Applicants were encouraged to contact the office if they believed further consideration was needed.
 

Elfandsafety orchid.



 And today’s thought: Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?


Angus

Tuesday 23 August 2011

Order-order: The milk of Elfandsafety: Jumping knicker nicker: Bum holes: Volleyball is pants: and Dudley dunces.


Dark, dim and dismal at the castle this morn, lots of sky water expected later, the study is full to the brim with non-computers, still knackered, the garden needs a serious fettling and his Maj is having the time of his life.


Sally Bercow is set to attract more controversial headlines after entering the Big Brother House last night.
The Speaker's wife has already attracted lurid media attention by telling the Express newspaper how she persuaded her husband John Bercow to let her go on the reality TV show.
"I just used my feminine wiles and took John away for a dirty weekend in Devon. I gave him a weekend he wouldn't forget which left him happy if breathless," she said.
"He eventually gave in, though he made me promise not to say or do anything that might harm him."
 

Too fucking late you dozy publicity seeking mare.




Which have been used as props for countless games involving ships, cars, dens and castles, have been taken away over fears that pupils could be injured on them.

"In all the time we have had the crates, we have not had a single child hurt themselves," said Anne Bardsley, a teacher at Wychwood Primary school in Oxfordshire, who described the decision to remove them as "outrageous".
The crates, once donated by a friendly milkman, were seized by Dairy Crest during a routine delivery.
Lyndsey Anderson, from the company, apologised for any distress. "Whilst we understand their disappointment at losing something they had come to view as playground equipment, it remains a fact that milk crates are not toys and current health and safety guidelines require that they should not be used as such," she said. 

Bollocks....




Bouncing Benji is in the doo after escaping from his owner and going on a knicker nicking spree.
Benji bounced from garden to garden in Prague, Czech Republic, collecting ladies lingerie as he went.
He was only caught when one victim looked out of her kitchen window and saw the two-year-old marsupial hopping it with her undies.
A police spokesman explained: "We had a call from Benji's owner saying his pet kangaroo had escaped. At the same time we started getting reports of a number of thefts from washing lines.
"We didn't think they could possibly be related until he was caught red-handed," he added.
Benji's relieved owner Petr Hlabovic, 35, said: "I'm very relieved to have him back. I've got no idea what he thought he was up to - he certainly didn't pick up the habit from me."


Yeah right......



In the upcoming Gastroenterology journal report by a team led by Shreya Rhagavan of the University of Michigan Medical School in Ann Arbor, researchers relate that they have successfully mixed human muscle cells with mouse nerves, and then grown them on a circular mold to make replacement sphincter rings. The findings could have implications for aging Baby Boomers.
"Faecal incontinence because of degenerated or weakened internal anal sphincter (IAS) has a high incidence rate in aging populations," begins the study. "Bioengineering could play a role in developing a translational approach to remedy faecal incontinence because of weakened IAS."


Great, that’s something to look forward to then....



Britain’s women beach volleyball champions are going for the bottom line after renting out their rears in an advertising deal.
Zara Dampney and Shauna Mullin will have a Quick Response barcode printed on the back of their bikini bottoms.
Then when spectators use a Smartphone to photograph the girls the codes will take them to a betting website.
Shauna, 26 and 24-year-old Zara – ranked 26th in the world and aiming for London 2012 – agreed on the adverts as part of a sponsorship deal with online bookies Betfair. Their bikinis will make an eye-catching addition to the Olympic beach volleyball tournament next summer. But they can be seen first at a test event at Horse Guards Parade, London, starting today. 

Just orf to the station.....

 And finally: 


Council contractors might have been wise to take a dictionary with them as well as brushes when painting this new road marking.
Drivers will no doubt get the message but “Keep Claer” is not exactly English as we know it.
The road sign, in Oak Street, Kingswinford, near Dudley, West Midlands, angered Irene Willis, 76, who lives nearby.
She said: “I can’t believe they could be so stupid – a child could spell that.
“Their mistake will probably end up costing the taxpayer money as they will have to come back to do it again.”
However Dudley councillor Patrick Harley, cabinet member for transportation, said: “We have been made aware that our contractor has spelt the word ‘clear’ incorrectly.
“The mistake will be corrected as soon as possible by the private contracting company at no extra cost to the council.”


The mond biggles....



And today’s thought: “Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.”

 Angus

Monday 22 August 2011

A tentative post: U-Turn Cam goes West: Revenge of the white van: Hobbit holiday: Falcon faux pas: and Lost for words:


Nice at the Castle this morn, sunny, calm and warm, still in a bit of pain, still itchy, still a bit “dopy”, had half an hour sitting in the garden yesterday.

Just got back from the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run down at the “new revamped” Tesco-can’t find a bloody thing, there seems no logic to the layout and it took me twice as long even though “they” gave me a map.

Word seems to have gotten about that I am up and about, the queue of users wanting a fix at the portcullis reaches down to the bollards, and you don’t want a group of people standing around your bollards in my condition.



I see that after saving Blighty from the rioters U-Turn Cam has buggered orf   to Cornwall for yet another break.

Some of can’t afford one holiday a year. Let alone four....


An £120,000 Ferrari 360 Spider has been sunk by a white van, the convertible had been parked at the water’s edge while the driver enjoyed a meal at a restaurant.

The incident, on the Croatian holiday island of Pag, was photographed by Tibor Szirovicza, 29, who had little sympathy for the sports car’s owner.

‘The Ferrari guy was a Slovenian tourist who had been harassing people in his car by making a lot of noise,’ he said.

‘It was like he was driving around purposely trying to wake up tourists with his fancy Ferrari.’
 

Bloody Slovenians, going over there in their sports cars waking people up.....





Lord of The Rings fans can now splash out on a stay in an underground hobbit hotel.

The small and cosy guest house in a secluded valley in north-west Montana, US, has been created to look just like Middle Earth.

Tolkien fan Steve Michaels and wife Christine built the Hobbit House of Montana at a cost of just £250,000.

It replicates the exterior of the Baggins' quaint place of residence - as described in Tolkien's novels.

It features a host of accommodation burrowed into the hillside including a tree-stump shaped troll house, several round door hobbit houses and also some fairy houses.

Inside the lodgings offer an impressive collection of modern comforts including a HD Blu-Ray TV, WiFi access, XM Radio and a human-sized kitchen, all starting at £149 a night.



 Wonder if U-Turn Cam has booked it for Crimbo?





The Pentagon's hypersonic plane has gone missing-again.

A test flight of the Falcon HTV-2, a hypersonic plane capable of reaching speeds roughly 20 times the speed of sound, ended unexpectedly early on Thursday when ground controllers lost contact with the arrowhead-shaped plane less than half an hour after it took to the skies.

Launched at 7:45 a.m. Pacific Time from the Vandenberg Air Force Base, northwest of Santa Barbara, the aircraft soared to the upper reaches of the atmosphere aboard an eight-story Minotaur IV rocket, before being unleashed from its protective cover atop the rocket.

Embarrassingly, it is the second Falcon the US military has lost. An HTV-2 flown last year returned about nine minutes of data before contact was lost.

Should have put sat nav in it.



And finally:




The days of taking a charabanc to the aerodrome are gone forever, according to dictionary compilers.

The words, which conjure up images of the golden age of travel, are among dozens which have become extinct in the past year, according to experts compiling the next Collins Dictionary.



Other words on the list include wittol, meaning a man who tolerates his wife's unfaithfulness and which appeared in the One Thousand and One Nights tales of Arabian folklore translated into English in the early 18th century. However, it has not been much used since the 1940s.

The terms drysalter, a dealer in certain chemical products and foods, and alienism, the study and treatment of mental illness, have also faded from use.

Some of the vanished words are old-fashioned modes of transport such as the cyclogiro, a type of aircraft propelled by rotating blades, and charabanc.

The stauroscope, an optical instrument for studying the crystal structure of minerals under polarised light, is also no longer used. 

Wonder if they still have adnascentia, bumposopher, citharize and weequashing?


That’s it: I’m orf for a bag of Brain Chips. 

And today’s thought: Ever had amnesia and dĂ©jĂ  vu at the same time . . . I think I've forgotten this before.



Angus

Monday 15 August 2011

A long story-short version



Back in the dawn of time-had two back teeth removed-both broke dentist spent an hour digging about to remove the bits.

Three days of agony, infection set in-three more days of extreme agony.

Went to dentist-given penicillin-found out after 59 and eleven twelfth years that I am allergic to penicillin, went red, rash, swelled up-saw doctor given other type of antibiotics, anti histamines and strong painkillers.

Spent a week in a stupor, no proper sleep, no food.

Swelling eventually went down, rash got a lot better, tooth sockets finally healing-still in pain, fed up, pissed orf. tired, hungry and in painkiller withdrawal.

Normalish service will resume in a few days.

Angus.

Thursday 4 August 2011

Life is a bloody socket: Morse code: Life is a holiday for U-Turn Cam: Who wears the trousers: Sad and miserable Bildeston: Croc of a meal: Sooty, Paul Daniels and the Pizza: and a split Numpty.


As old Bill S wrote “It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath: it is twice blest”.
No it isn’t, it is pissing down at the Castle this morn, there is so much humidity in the air that you can see the vortices coming orf my shoulders as I walk.
 
Just got back from Tesco after buying an extra week’s worth of stale bread, gruel and Pussy food because they are shut next week for a “refit”, and they still haven’t sorted out the entrance road.


The trip to the Dentist yestermorn didn’t go too well, arrived at eleven, went straight in had three jabs, sat in the waiting room, went back in had three more jabs, still in pain, had two more jabs, then the “extraction” started, after ten minutes of yanking and grunting (and the Dentist wasn’t doing much better) there was a crack and half of the offending tooth came out, another ten minutes of probing and pulling and the broken bit of root was extracted.
Said Dentist then decided that the tooth next to the pulled one was beyond redemption and needed to come out, three more jabs, ten more minutes of pulling and groaning and “snap” the root broke orf that one as well, five minutes of probing and yanking later I was looking at four pieces of what was left of my mouth furniture.
At noon on the way home I decided to stop at a chemist and after standing in the queue whilst drooling blood down my shirt I asked for the “biggest pack of the strongest painkiller” known to man, and was sold Paramol.
Finally got home and took the “white caplet shaped” tablets, and then I fell asleep, unfortunately Paramol have several side effects-they give you a headache, they appear to paralyse you (about 80pc) so that you shuffle about at the speed of a dead snail, and worse of all they give you wind.

Not the “excuse me” type of gas from the facial orifice but full blown boxer flapping blasts, which apparently his Maj could hear from anywhere in the Castle or grounds and would come hurtling in jump on my poor broken body and shove his head into my crotch (I must get him to the Vets for the snip) and the last side effect is that they make you “fuzzy”-nothing new there then.


Apparently the item in Yesterday’s post about IE users having the IQ of an Onion was a hoax, I would like to apologise but I won’t because after all it is “Silly week”.
 



The death of the fictional detective eleven years ago appeared to rule out any possibility of the character returning to our screens. But yesterday ITV announced it is to make a prequel based on Morse's early days in the force.
It will star a relative unknown, Shaun Evans, in the role last played by the late John Thaw. The drama will be called Endeavour, a reference to Morse's first name.  

Think I’ll endeavour to miss that....


And U-Turn Cam and his brood will have taken four holidays in less than five months, according to new details from his spokesman.
David Cameron is currently on a two-week break at a £9,700-a-week villa in Tuscany, but he will go on a new holiday a week after his return to work on August 15th.
In addition to a short break in southern Spain in April and another in Ibiza last May, the trip takes the Cameron’s up to an impressive four holidays in just five months. 

All together now-“We are all in this together”......




A Christian midwife is suing a hospital for making her wear trousers in the operating theatre – because she claims the Bible forbids women from putting on men’s clothing.
Hannah Adewole claims she was banned from wearing scrub dresses in theatre, while Muslim midwives were allowed to wear their own hijabs and tops.
Mrs Adewole, 45, told an employment tribunal: “A Muslim midwife would not have been treated in such a disrespectful manner.” She is suing Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust for religious discrimination and harassment.
She cites a command in the Book of Deuteronomy that people should not wear clothing meant for the other gender. Mrs Adewole, who still works at Queen’s Hospital in Romford, Essex, stands to win thousands of pounds in compensation if she succeeds in her claim.
Giving evidence, Mrs Adewole, of Hackney, east London, said: “Reading the Bible has always given me strength.
“I believe that the Bible is truth and that its words should be followed wholeheartedly.” She told the tribunal that she considers wearing dresses rather than trousers “a mandatory requirement in order to adhere to the scriptures”. 

It’s not about the money-honest, no really it isn’t.....



Locals living in a picturesque village of Bildeston yesterday hit back at claims by a disgruntled new arrival that it was a "sad and miserable" place to live.
Roger Chapman, who admits he has been in Bildeston, Suffolk, for less than two years launched, an extraordinary attack on the village in a local magazine.
He described it as a smile-free zone compared to places like Scotland and the North East where he had previously lived.
Mr Chapman, who says he is Suffolk-born, used the pages of the Bildeston Bugle to air his grievances about the village, claiming that no-one smiles or stops to pass the time of day.
He said:"I was shocked at the extreme degree of community introversion in Bildeston - along with the general lack of smiles to be seen when going about daily business."
Tricia Baldwin, part of the Bugle's editorial team, said:"It's really sad Mr Chapman feels like that - it is not at all a true picture of the village.
"His remarks have shocked an upset a lot of people - we were at a golden wedding party at the weekend where half the guests had moved to the village in the last ten years and his comments were even mentioned in the speeches.
"We moved here 12 years ago from Hemel Hempstead and found it to be a really friendly vibrant community. Just in our road we have street parties and organise boat trips - and we all rally round in a crisis." 

The pic is of Bildeston high street-really vibrant....


Wonder if Roger is related to the Dei dynasty?




Farmer Andy Johnson's newest arrivals have a deadly row of teeth – and will grow to be 3m (10ft) predators weighing up to a tonne.
After becoming the first Briton to successfully hatch a pair of baby Nile crocodiles following a six-year breeding programme.
The 41-year-old, who owns Europe’s first croc farm, watched the pair hatch from eggs last week after an anxious 90-day incubation process.
Mr Johnson said the newborns were shy and added he plans to use them for breeding in the future. He said: ‘It is brilliant because we have been told right from the beginning that it wouldn’t be done – and it has knocked that theory on the head.
‘As far as I know, no Niles have been bred in Britain before. At the moment, they are being treated like gold dust because we need to get the job right.
‘We are feeding them on crickets and, as they are shy, they keep running off but the crickets are disappearing.’
Mr Johnson, from Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, will breed the crocodiles for their meat, which he sells at his farm shop. He started the business in 2005 with a £60,000 building to house seven fully grown reptiles.


Shan’t be visiting his farm shop then....




Paul Daniels was taken to hospital with head injuries after being hit in the face by a pizza thrown by Sooty.
The 73-year-old magician was filming a scene for ITV's The Sooty Show when he was struck by the flying pizza, leaving him dazed.
Daniels suffered a black eye and was taken to hospital for treatment, The Sun reported.
The newspaper claimed the incident happened after Daniels complained that in a first take of the scene, the pizza had not been thrown hard enough.
But as the puppet, operated by co-star Richard Cadell, hurled the Italian dish a second time, Daniels was injured.
Chris Davis, Daniels's agent, told the newspaper: "It damaged his eye. We had to go to hospital and cancelled a gig, but he's made a full recovery."
Daniels, who was appearing on the show as a special guest alongside his wife and assistant Debbie McGee, 52, apparently insisted that producers use the take in which he was injured.
A source added: "Paul was such a good sport and so professional. He's insisted they use the scene where he got injured, not the first one."


So he’s happy then-but not a lot......


And finally: 


A Swedish man has been arrested after attempting to split atoms in his kitchen, claiming that he was only doing it as a “hobby”.
Richard Handl said that he had the radioactive elements radium, americium and uranium in his apartment in southern Sweden when police showed up and arrested him on charges of unauthorised possession of nuclear material.
Handl, 31, said he had tried for months to set up a nuclear reactor at home and kept a blog about his experiments, describing how he created a small meltdown on his stove.
Only later did he realise it might not be legal and sent a question to Sweden’s Radiation Authority, which answered by sending the police.
“I have always been interested in physics and chemistry,” Handl said, adding he just wanted to “see if it’s possible to split atoms at home”.
Although he says police didn’t detect dangerous levels of radiation in his apartment, he now acknowledges the project wasn’t such a good idea.
“From now on, I will stick to the theory,” he said.

 And no this isn’t a hoax, but at least he has the right name-Dick...



And today’s thought: The rewards of age . . . are not for wimps.


Angus

Wednesday 3 August 2011

A ripping yarn: Dim explorers: One million reasons to get sacked: Offal idea: Gnome on the roam: Rat snack: Bunny Numpty: and the 0.0001pc fine.

Nice again at the Castle this morn, didn’t get much sleep last dark thing-too hot and in agony from toothache so orf to the Dentist later to have it pulled, if  they carry on disappearing at this rate I will have to change my “name” to Juanita Dei.....
I see that it is “silly week” again-normal for this blog...


Apparently we have all been breaking the law by ripping songs from CDs or films from DVDs for “personal” use.
But all is well-the Gov is going to legalise “format shifting” and it might even relax rules on parody and create an agency to licence copyrighted content.


That’s alright then...



Internet Explorer users have a lower than average IQ, according to research by Consulting firm AptiQuant.
The study gave web surfers an IQ test, and then plotted their scores against the browser they used.
IE surfers were found to have an average IQ lower than people using Chrome, Firefox and Safari. Users of Camino and Opera rated highest.


Must put “IQ” into the search box in IE9.......


It seems that Sharon Shoesmith could be in line for a massive compensation payout following the ruling that she was unfairly sacked following the Baby P tragedy.
Lawyers argued that Ms Shoesmith, 58, had been the victim of “a flagrant breach of natural justice” and that she had been driven from her £133,000-a-year post in December 2008 by a media witch hunt and political pressure.
They asked Lord Neuberger, Master of the Rolls, sitting in London with Lord Justice Maurice Kay and Lord Justice Stanley Burnton, to rule that her sacking without compensation was so legally flawed as to be null and void, and that she still remained entitled to her full salary and pension from Haringey up to the present day.
Allowing her challenge, the judges ruled that both Mr Balls and Haringey had acted too hastily and in a way that was “procedurally unfair” because Ms Shoesmith had not been given a proper chance to put her case. 

Good old British “justice”.




Sue Rabbitt Roff said that paying live donors would encourage more to come forward and so shorten waiting lists, as three people currently die every day because they were unable to receive a transplant.
She claimed that it would not be “such a big step” from current systems, whereby medical research subjects are paid wages and workers who lose organs receive compensation, and would avoid the black market that exists in other countries.
They should be paid £28,000 for their organs, according to an academic who claims the move could help students pay off their university debts.


Really, really offal idea.



A Stolen 136kg gnome roamed home overnight, six days after it went missing from its owner's Massachusetts home.

Joan Walton, 77, noticed the cement gnome was missing last Friday, along with another statue of a mushroom.

"I just can't believe someone would do something like this," Ms Walton told The Boston Globe at the time.

In an effort to help, Ms Walton's niece and a family friend decided to make a four-by-eight-foot sign for her lawn that said, "Bring our gnome home and his friend the mushroom.

The gnome was in the process of being painted when it was stolen. Ms Walton told the Globe it was fat, with a yellow shirt, green pants, black shoes and a rounded face with a white beard.

On Saturday, Ms Walton found the mushroom sitting on the wall in front of her house. But there was no sign of the gnome.

That all changed overnight. The gnome is home, according to myFOXboston.com.


 He came for a visit to the Castle.




A species of rat coats itself in deadly toxin that it obtains by gnawing on a poisonous tree, scientists have discovered.
The crested rat, Lophiomys imhausi, from east Africa, is the first mammal known to acquire lethal toxin from a plant. 

That’s lunch orf then....



Police in Idaho Falls said on Tuesday they have told a 34-year-old man to stop wearing a bunny suit in public after residents complained that he has been frightening children.
Police warned Idaho Falls resident William Falkingham after a woman said she saw him dressed in the costume, peeking at her young son from behind a tree and pointing his finger like a gun, according to a police report.
An investigation of the sighting led officers to question other neighbours, "who expressed that they were greatly disturbed by Falkingham and his bunny suit," the report said.
Neighbours also reported that Falkingham occasionally wears a tutu with the bunny suit, police said in a statement.


Told him to hop it I suppose....

 And finally:

Jacqueline McDonald the postmistress who stole nearly £100,000 has been fined—£1, she admitted multiple counts of theft and false accounting at the branch she ran.
Jailed for 18 months in January, the mum-of-three was released after four-and-a-half months.
At a Proceeds of Crime hearing last week, Preston crown court was told McDonald made £99,759 from the offences. It also heard that she now had no assets and would be in negative equity if forced to sell her flat.
Judge Graham Knowles QC told her to pay back just £1. But that decision has angered former customers of the now closed down Broughton Post Office in Preston, Lancs.
McDonald, who still lives in Broughton, said this week: “I did not steal one penny.”
She claims glitches in the Post Office’s accounting system caused the losses.
A Royal Mail spokesman said they could not comment on individual cases.

 Good old British justice #2, but she has been pixilated.....



And today’s thought: "If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours." - Paris Hilton (IE user) to Jackie Collins.

Angus

Tuesday 2 August 2011

Be careful what you wish for...: A quarter of a Devine sentence: Planking Squirrel: Wiping away a Sparrow: The Bells!: and the wrong weather.

Still warm and humid at the Castle this morn, but a bit more cloud, the liquid metal hot meter got up to 87f yesterday pm but is back to a cool 78f this early light thing.
I spent most of yester am/pm being mucked about by a Numpty who wouldn’t bring his broken laptop to the Castle and insisted that I visit, spent a couple of hours sorting out his cheap and nasty Acer then was told that he wouldn’t pay the price.
So I returned his heap of crap to the state it was in before (he had seen the “press f2 to enter bios, so he did and bollixsed up the settings) and left.

The toothache didn’t help.

His Maj has been out in the garden since 5.30 of the am and is expanding in size at an alarming rate. I could almost swear that I can hear him growing.



The area has been inundated with Gurkhas, there are gangs of old Nepalese people wandering around at all hours of the day and night.
According to the British Gurkha Welfare Society, Joanna Lumley's campaign has resulted in thousands of elderly and infirm Gurkha pensioners living in poor accommodation on paltry incomes.
"They are thoroughly miserable," says Chhatra Rai, the general secretary of the Gurkha charity. It would have been far better, he believes, if retired Gurkhas had been paid better pensions and encouraged to stay at home in Nepal.


Ab Fab Joanna...

Former Labour MP Jim Devine has been released from prison after serving a quarter of his 16-month sentence for expenses fraud.
The ex-MP for Livingston was jailed in March after he was found guilty of claiming £8,385 using false invoices for cleaning and printing work.
He was released from Standford Hill Prison in Kent on Monday morning.
David Chaytor and Eric Illsley have both already been released under the home detention curfew scheme after serving a third and a quarter of their sentences respectively.
The fourth ex-MP, Elliot Morley, remains in prison, along with Conservative peers Lord Taylor and Lord Hanningfield.

 But for how long?


Squirrels are taking over....







Whilst sitting in a car park with the weather looking gloomy, the driver filmed a soggy little bird perched upon his windscreen wiper.
As an initial wipe begins to move across the windscreen any normal bird would take the hint and fly away... but not this one.
He just clings on for dear life - riding out the wipe until it comes back down to rest.
To prove he's no one hit wonder, our birdie friend toughs it out for a second wipe and then a third.
What's even more disturbing is that when the driver zooms in to get a closer look at the sparrow, it stares blankly back at the camera.

Hitchcock would be proud.



A troupe of Morris Dancers got their marching orders from a pub – because the bells on their clogs were too noisy.

The 15-strong Slubbing Billy’s were ordered to leave the Swan and Three Cygnets in Durham shortly after performing in the city’s market place.
Duggs Carre, 45, a member of the Huddersfield-based outfit, said: “There was no room for argument – we were just kicked out.
“One of our group in his Morris Dance gear, had just ordered a pint without any problems.
“But two female members came in with the bells on their shoes and a woman member of staff shouted, ‘No bells!’ – and that was it.
“We were told in the strongest possible terms to leave. There were 15 of us all wanting a drink so they lost a fair bit of business. I wouldn’t mind but when you sit down, the bells don’t make any noise.”

The Swan is owned by the Samuel Smith brewery, which has a strict no music policy. A spokesman declined to comment yesterday.



Bit of a clanger?

 And finally: 


Researchers found that our basic understanding of "low pressure systems" has been flawed for more than 90 years.
Scientists from the University of Manchester contradicted traditional understanding of how low pressure systems evolve.
The Norwegian model in use since the 1920s is that when a storm occludes, it will automatically weaken.
Writing in the journal Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society, they found that the Great Storm of October 1987 and the Burns’ Day storm of January 1990 did not fit the model.
Dr David Schultz, from the university’s School of Earth, Atmospheric and Environmental Sciences, who led the study, said that while both were occluded (evolving), but still deadly.
Dr Schultz said: “The Norwegian model of low pressure systems served us well for many years, but it’s time to move on.
"What we teach students in school needs to be changed. And forecasters need to be retrained to have this latest information.
“I hope that this model will help people understand the particular weather conditions associated with these potentially hazardous storms. Yet, this research shows how much more remains for us to learn about the weather around us."


Odd that, I just look out of the window and there it is-the weather...



And today’s thought: "If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid."-Eddie Izzard.


Angus