Monday, 21 May 2012

Body art from Bernard


Cool, cloudy and calm at the Castle this morn, I have just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco-prices still going up, still moving things around still infested with the internet robots.
And thanks to HMRC I had to purchase some stamps which Tesco only had in books of twelve which cost me six bleedin quid, no wonder “Royal Mail” has such a bad reputation...

And the interweb thingy is being a pain in the rear exit-again-blogger keeps crashing.


Before the main event start the video below and listen to the masserchewsets band singing about Massachusetts, a bit of a tribute, my condolences to his family, I know what it is like to lose a loved one to cancer of the internal organs.


I can’t be arsed to seek out “interesting” stuff this “summer” day so here are some pics of body art forwarded to me from my old friend Bernard who managed to scrape some coal together to fire up the boiler on his steam powered desktop, they were sent to him from one of his many, many followers (unlike this Piss Poor blog).

Although I have never seen it in the flesh I am told that he  has a brightly coloured organ which he takes to places and grinds in public, and like me he has a soft spot in his heart for furry pussy.

Anyway click on the link and have a gander at his site you might even get a peek at his organ....














That's got the juices flowing-is that Carol Vorderman in pic 5?

That’s it: I’m orf to collect some ancient methane



And today’s thought:
Roll on the Olympics....



Angus
Bernard

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Transgender NHS: Into Syria: The Uni-Cub Personal Mobility Device: Knife edged eagle: Hello Kitty: and the RP FLIP.


Dull, dingy but not damp at the Castle this morn, been having a clear out; oodles of stuff to take to the “recycling” centre, I don’t where it all comes from, I reckon someone is breaking in and leaving it....
 


The NHS has funded a "human rights week" with dozens of events including a photographic exhibition to celebrate transgender staff.
Hundreds of managers and front line workers are due to attend conferences and workshops on equality and diversity this week.
The events include two all-day conferences involving at least 170 health care managers.
At least 170 NHS managers working in human resources and leading programmes in equality and diversity are due to attend full-day conferences in London and Manchester. The fee of £199 per place – more than £30,000 in total – is expected to be paid by the NHS trusts which employ them.
In addition, NHS Rotherham will host a week-long exhibition of "inspiring images" which promises to "celebrate the lives of transgender staff and patients".
And NHS North West is promoting an "awareness raising timeline" to commemorate homosexual and transgender doctors and nurses.


That’ll improve patient care.....




U-Turn cam is thinking about deploying British military personnel to Syria to “pressure on the Assad regime over human rights abuses”
According to shit for brains Dave “Britain is prepared to contribute officers to an enlarged international monitoring mission in Syria”
UK assistance to Assad’s opponents includes providing communications equipment which the Government says will allow human rights workers to document and communicate abuses taking place in Syria.
 

Protecting the human rights of oil....that’s a new one....



The Honda Uni-Cub is a battery-powered, two-wheeled mobility device that is able to ferry people at a top speed of 6 kilometres per hour.
Using gyroscopic balance control technology and an Omni-directional driving wheel system – similar to that of a Segway? Riders can control speed, turn, stop and move in any direction by the nimble shift of a bum cheek.
Powered by a Lithium-ion battery, the machine can manage a distance of 6km before needing a recharge.
And a just 74cm high, perching passengers will nearly be at eye-level for those who can’t be arsed to walk.
 

Oh joy....




This one stole a knife from a nature photographer, and nearly made off with its newfound weapon.
Dutch photographer Han Bouwmeester was in Västerbotten, Sweden, hoping to grab some unique photos of the local birds of prey, and cut up some meat to attract the predators.
And he got his wish, a golden eagle swooped down and picked up the knife Bouwmeester and his colleagues had just used and flew orf with it.

 All it needs now is a fork and spoon to complete the set....






EVA Air airline has designed two of its planes with a Hello Kitty motif. And it will soon add another plane to its Hello Kitty fleet.

Those who take the Hello Kitty-themed airplanes will be “delighted” to see that everything inside the plane has Hello Kitty on it, from the flight attendants’ uniforms to the food they serve. Even the tickets and boarding passes are printed with Hello Kitty designs.

The partnership between EVA and Sanrio started in 2005, when EVA Air acquired the license from Sanrio to use Hello Kitty in its planes.
 

Not quite the pussy I had in mind...


And finally:



The U.S. Office of Naval Research owns a very strange piece of oceanographic equipment. It’s called the Floating Instrument Platform (FLIP), conceived and developed by the Marine Physical Laboratory (MPL) at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography, University of California. FLIP isn't a ship, even though researchers live and work on it for weeks at a time while they conduct scientific studies in the open ocean. It is actually a huge specialized buoy. The most unusual thing about this ship is it really flips.

FLIP is 355 feet (108 meters) long with small quarters at the front with a long hollow ballast do da at the end. When the tanks are filled with air, FLIP floats in its horizontal position. But when they are filled with seawater the lower 300 feet of FLIP sinks under the water and the lighter end rises. When flipped, most of the buoyancy for the platform is provided by water at depths below the influence of surface waves; hence FLIP is a stable platform mostly immune to wave action. At the end of a mission, compressed air is pumped into the ballast tanks in the flooded section and the vessel returns to its horizontal position so it can be towed to a new location.
During the flip, everyone stands on the outside decks. As FLIP flips, the decks slowly become bulkheads and the bulkhead becomes the deck. Most rooms on FLIP have two doors; one to use when horizontal, the other when FLIP is vertical. Some of FLIP's furnishings are built so they can rotate to a new position as FLIP flips. Other equipment must be unbolted and moved. Some things, like tables in the galley (kitchen) and sinks in the washroom, are built twice so one is always in the correct position. The entire flip operation takes twenty-eight minutes. When FLIP stands vertically, it rises more than five stories into the air. 

Flipping amazing...




And today’s thought:
U.S bob a job



Angus

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Cupid Stunt day-How not to catch a gator: Oil be buggered: A Papple: Dog poo squad: Invisible art: and Magnum morons.

Cold, damp, drear and decidedly dodgy at the Castle this morn, the router seems to be routing again, his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from under the side table and the Honda is covered in yellow stuff.

And great news from my God Daughter who successfully produced a healthy female child on Thursday-I do feel old....




An American zoologist has been attacked by a 10ft-long alligator as he tried to capture it from beside a highway.
Fred Boyce, a specialist in amphibians and reptiles at Pine Knoll Shores Aquarium in North Carolina, was lucky not to lose his arm in the attack - which was caught on camera.
The 300lb beast was spotted by a passing motorist in Stacy, a small township located on the state's eastern coast.
US reports said a call was made to the aquarium asking for advice on how to handle it and on hearing about it Mr Boyce decided to head to the scene.
Once there, he has been quoted as saying he feared the alligator would be killed, so he decided to try moving it himself.
His strategy involved placing a towel over the animal's eyes, then approaching it from the rear - seemingly in a bid to grab its giant mouth before local fire-fighters pounced.


What a Cupid Stunt...



Allegedly U-Turn Cam will hold talks with Barack Obama and other world leaders about tapping into emergency oil reserves in an effort to drive down petrol prices.
The Prime Monster will arrive today at a G8 summit in the US promising to help families "struggling with the impact of oil prices."
The summit, at the Camp David presidential retreat, will tomorrow discuss a US call for developed economies to release oil from their strategic reserves to try to bring down world oil prices.
According to shit for brains Dave "We must work together to give the world economy the one big stimulus that would really make a difference: an expansion of trade freedoms - breaking down the barriers to world trade and getting global trade moving again,"


Oh my; an even bigger cupid stunt....or two...or eight...




There is a new delight for those who shop at M&S, someone has crossed a pear with a pear and the result is of course-the Papple, which tastes like an apple but looks like a......apple, but is in fact a pear...
The Papple is grown in New Zealand and is a cross between European and Asian pear varieties.
 

Third Cupid Stunt of the day...




Up in smoke there is something to be very afraid of-A 22-man crack team unit employed to clean up the streets of London by targeting dog walkers who fall foul of pooper scoop laws.
The anti-poo wardens have been introduced by Islington Council in north London in an attempt to catch repeated dog foul offenders.
Members of the public are also being encouraged to 'shop a dropper' through a newly set-up hotline.
Islington Council's zero tolerance approach will see the Dog Squad patrol dog foul hot spots, issuing £80 fines to irresponsible dog owners.
The undercover poo patrol, thought to be the largest dog enforcement team of its kind in Britain, started its work earlier this month.
Islington Councillor Paul Smith said: 'Residents are sick of dog mess, and we're taking strong action against irresponsible owners.
Poo crimes and updates on penalties and patrols will be also be reported by the team on Twitter with the hash tag #thedogsquad.


Two football teams worth of Cupid Stunts...
 



London's Hayward Gallery will gather together 50 ''invisible'' works by leading figures such as Andy Warhol, Yves Klein and Yoko Ono for its display of works you cannot actually see.

Gallery bosses say the £8 a head exhibition demonstrates how art is about ''firing the imagination'', rather than simply viewing objects. 

Invisible: Art about the Unseen 1957 - 2012 opens on June 12 and includes an empty plinth, a canvas of invisible ink and an unseen labyrinth.
Also in the exhibition will be Warhol's work Invisible Sculpture - dating from 1985 - which consists of an empty plinth, and 1000 Hours of Staring which is a blank piece of paper at which artist Tom Friedman has stared at repeatedly over the space of five years, and another by the same artist Untitled (A Curse) is an empty space which has been cursed by a witch.

Also featured among the exhibits will be a series of typed instructions by Ono, encouraging viewers to conjure up an artwork in their minds.


A trio of artistic Cupid stunts...


But here is some Angus invisible art;

A landscape which I thought about painting


And

A sculpture of a naked woman which I might have sculpted if I had the inclination...and the marble...



And finally:



An RAF rescue helicopter made an unexpected beach landing - so the crew can buy ice cream.

The crew members were spotted emerging from their aircraft on the sand at Winterton-on-Sea, Norfolk.

Worried beachgoers watched as they headed towards the shoreline and then pop into Winterton Dunes Beach Cafe.

Owner of five years Carmel Shiggins said she had never seen the helicopter land there before.

She said when people asked why they'd landed they didn't believe her.

She said: "People had been coming in asking what they were doing, was there an emergency? And I said no, they come in for an ice cream."

Owner of five years Carmel Shiggins said she had never seen the helicopter land there before.

She said when people asked why they'd landed they didn't believe her.

She said: "People had been coming in asking what they were doing, was there an emergency? And I said no, they come in for an ice cream."

Cafe assistant, Francis Ford, 18 said he asked what was up and one crew member said "We're all entitled to a tea break".


Cupid stunt award of the day....




And today’s thought:
A conundrum of Cupid Stunts




Angus


Friday, 18 May 2012

Bum MP: Democracy on Facebook: Camel Jumping: Bangers and Cupcakes: and a half ton Sturgeon.


Sunnyish, clearish, calmish and coldish at the Castle this morn, bit late (again) because the interweb thingy went tits up (again), I think it is the router which isn’t....routing...

But the delay did give me time to potter round the grounds and snap the things that are blooming.

Some blue stuff (with a touch of pink stuff)

Some white stuff


More blue stuff

More white stuff


Some strawberry stuff



And his blurry Maj waiting to play with one of his sticks






Energy Minister Charles Hendry has it seems reverted to his days as a fag at Rugby school by sitting on his senior colleague Ed Davey's lap.



Old habits die hard...





Iceland is using Facebook to rewrite its constitution: citizens can use the social network to make their own suggestions, engage in online debates, or follow the proceedings in real-time.
Two thirds of Iceland’s population (approximately 320,000) is on Facebook, so the constitutional council’s weekly meetings are broadcast live not only on the council’s website, but on the social network as well. “It is possible to register through other means, but most of the discussion takes place via Facebook,” Berghildur Bernhardsdottir, spokeswoman for the constitutional review project, told the Associated Press. “The sort of argumentative and negative discussion that has been common on Icelandic blogs and news sites, especially since the economic collapse, has been almost entirely absent.”
The comprehensive review of the constitution is being carried out with the direct participation of the Icelandic people. The Internet component is the most direct route for most Icelanders to have their say: members of the public must provide their names and addresses, and can then submit online recommendations, which are approved by local staff to avoid Internet heckling. The ideas are then passed on to the council, and are open for discussion online.


Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club coalition take note....



The men of the Zaraniq tribe, on the west coast of Yemen, have a truly unique tradition – they jump over a row of camels just like modern daredevils jump over cars.
Famous throughout Yemen for their speed, strength and courage, the members of the Zaraniq tribe are the world’s only professional camel jumpers. Taking running starts, jumpers try to sail over as many camels as possible, before tumbling to the ground. During camel jumping events, the one who leaps over the highest number of camels is considered the winner. “This is what we do,” says Bhayder Mohammed Yusef Qubaisi, one of the champions of the Tihama-al-Yemen, a desert plain, on the coast of the Red Sea.


When I read “Camel jumping” I thought-well they don’t have any sheep....




Culinary ‘genius’ Stef of The Cupcake Project saw that two of the great joys of the human experience, sausage and cupcakes, need not be separate. Her cupcakewurst consists of cupcake batter poured into hog sausage casings (pig intestines), then baked.


Num, num......not....




And finally:


A sturgeon weighing more than half a ton has been caught fishermen in northeast China.
The 617kg Kaluga fish was caught on Tuesday in Heilongjiang River, at Tongjiang, a city that borders Russia in northeast China.
The Kaluga is a large predatory sturgeon only found in the Heilongjiang River basin. Chen Lin, the fisherman who caught the fish said it was the biggest he had ever seen. Chen, along with fellow fishermen, sent the fish to a local sturgeon breeding station.
According to breeders, the sturgeon is a female and is currently carrying about 1.2 million eggs. Staff at the station will collect the roe and implement artificial insemination. The fish fry will be released into the Heilongjiang River.
Kaluga fish are believed to have existed for 130 million years and are claimed to be the largest freshwater fish in the world. The fish is listed as critically endangered, having been fished to near extinction for its valuable roe.


Which thankfully are not boiled in piss...



And today’s thought:
Sheep jumping



Angus

Thursday, 17 May 2012

PFI in the NHS: T-ray WI-Fi: Dull and Boring: Getting the finger: Stop, go, stop, go, stop, go-wait: and “bob” the water horse.


Cloudy, cold and calm at the Castle this morn, I went berserk yestermorn and cleaned the windows and all the wooden floors and rugs with my new super duper all singing all dancing steam cleaner.

I must admit that I was a whimsy sceptical of the claims made by the manufacturer and the “user manual” is in Chinglish, but I am in love with the 4bar humidifier, it has all sorts of gadgets-floor cleaning, carpet cleaning, window cleaning, oven cleaning, tile cleaning, bath cleaning, sink and tap cleaning and hob cleaning, the only thing it lacks is a widget to get stones out of horses hooves.

And no I am not being paid to write this, I just thought I would let you know, how good it is, and it costs about 20p per hour to run.

And while I was in the grounds doing the outside of the windows I spotted this Azalea which has burst into life in the last day or so.


While his Maj looked on in bemusement.









Back in the 90’s the no nuts Tory Government decided that Private Finance Initiatives were the way to go and that leasing ‘Orspitals and other NHS stuff from Private contractors would save us oodles of loot, and then shit for brains Labour reckoned it would be a jolly jape to expand PFI to all and sundry including schools and roads thinking that even more dosh would accumulate in the treasury coffers.
So here are some amounts that PFI has “saved” us. 

Taxpayers are committed to pay £229billion for new hospitals, schools and other projects with a capital value of just £56billion, between 1996 and 2010 deals done in the first five years were the worst value for money, costing the Government £7.45 for every pound of private investment raised.

The ratio then fell to £4.03 for every pound raised between 2001 and 2005 and then rose again to £5.43 in the last five years to 2010, possibly because the financial crisis increased the cost of capital for private firms.

In our dear old NHS: charges of £242 to put a padlock on a garden gate at a trust in North Staffordshire, £466 to replace a light fitting and £75 for an air freshener in Cumbria and £15,000 to “install a laundry door following feasibility study” at a trust in Salisbury have been made.

Other charges include £8,450 to install an “additional dishwasher” for a NHS trust in Hull, £962 to “supply and fix notice-board” at a trust in Leeds and £26,614 for the “replacement of shower room doors” at the Sussex Partnership Trust.

The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has agreed 71 new PFI deals since coming to power. Alien reptile in disguise George ( if ignorance was brains I would be a genius) Osborne, the ‘Chancellor of the Exchequer’, is currently working on an overhaul of PFI by finding for a cheaper way of harnessing private sector money to fund public projects.

Allegedly The NHS will pay back more than £70bn on current projections and the annual bill is due to keep rising year-on-year for the next 18 years.

After that contracts start coming to an end although the final payment will not be made until 2049.

And apparently the total cost of about 800 agreements according to the latest select committee is that the estimated cost for the government to get these projects up and running is £64bn, and then £267bn in repayments to private companies over the next 50 years. These figures can be calculated from the list of all public private agreements published by HM Treasury.



That works well then.....





Researchers in Japan have smashed the record for wireless data transmission in the terahertz band, an uncharted part of the electro-magnetic spectrum.
The data rate is 20 times higher than the best commonly used Wi-Fi standard.
As consumers become ever hungrier for high data rates, standard lower-frequency bands have become crowded.
The research, published in Electronics Letters, adds to the idea that this "T-ray" band could offer huge swathes of bandwidth for data transmission.
The band lies between the microwave and far-infrared regions of the spectrum, and is currently completely unregulated by telecommunications agencies.
Despite the name, the band informally makes use of frequencies from about 300 gigahertz (300GHz or about 60 times higher than the current highest Wi-Fi standard) to about 3THz, 10 times higher again.
It is used principally for imaging in research contexts, as terahertz waves penetrate many materials as effectively as X-rays but deposit far less energy and therefore cause less damage.
Until recently, the technology required both to generate and detect these "T-rays" has been too bulky, costly or power-hungry to offer a plausible alternative to existing devices tucked within Smartphone’s or Wi-Fi routers.
At the heart of the team's 1mm-square device is what is known as a resonant tunnelling diode, or RTD.
Tunnelling diodes have the unusual characteristic that the voltage across them can sometimes go down as current is increased.
RTDs are designed such that this process makes the diode "resonate", which in the current work's design means it sprays out waves in the terahertz band.
 

So now you know...




The arrival of the fish van from Aberfeldy qualifies as excitement in Dull. But yesterday the tiny hamlet in Highland Perthshire was abuzz with anticipation, as details emerged of a proposed international alliance with the American town of … Boring.
The plan to forge formal links between the two communities saddled with the world’s least inspiring names was suggested by Perthshire resident Elizabeth Leighton after she stumbled upon the Oregon town of Boring during a cycling holiday.
Her proposal was put before Dull and Weem community council, which represents the 40-strong population, and an approach to establish formal cultural and friendship links between the two communities is now being pursued.
Thomas Pringle, the secretary of the community council, said yesterday that it was fantastic news. “It’s certainly the talk of Dull. I think most of the folk who know about it are more amused about the idea than anything else,” he said.
“And I’m not quite sure what the reaction will be from drivers if we put up a sign saying ‘Dull twinned with Boring’ when they drive through the village. Most of the cars stop already when they just see the Dull sign.”
Mr Pringle, who works in the oil and gas industry, insisted that, despite its name, Dull has its moments. “We have been known in the past to have some quite nice parties,” he said. “I belong to Aberfeldy and my wife and I moved out here about 18 years ago and we love staying here.
“Dull may be small, but it has a lot of history. The village was supposedly set up by one of the abbots of Iona. There is a suggestion that the monks who established St Andrews originally started here before going on to Dunkeld and then St Andrews.”
He continued: “There’s maybe only a population of about 40 at the moment, but there are two houses being built across the road from me, so it’s expanding. But we don’t have a pub or a shop, although the farmhouse, one of the oldest buildings, used to be an inn at one time.
“We have a fish van that comes on Thursday … and that’s it.”

 ...........sorry, I dozed orf.




A scientific hypothesis about men, linking ring finger length to exposure to masculine hormones in the womb, lacks genetic evidence, says a new study.
In 1998, British researcher John Manning suggested that foetal exposure to testosterone (and other masculine hormones, or androgens) might explain why some men have notably longer ring fingers than index fingers. The suggestion -- the Manning hypothesis -- has since been used to link index-to-ring finger size-ratios to aggression, autism and other male-dominated ailments or behaviours in more than 500 studies since.
The 2003 study only included 50 people and found a link between a mutation in the androgen receptor gene and a low index-to-ring finger ratio, suggesting a genetic explanation for the uptake of masculine hormones that, in turn, led to longer ring fingers in some men.
But a pair of recent studies has questioned this link -- one finding no link to aggression and one finding no link to the mutation and finger length ratios. So, the new study sets out to repeat the 2003 finding, this time with 152 men.
Overall, the men averaged index fingers that were 95% the size of ring fingers, on both hands. The researchers sampled the study volunteer's androgen receptor genes, finger lengths and their current testosterone levels, looking to repeat the 2003 results.
In other words, size may not matter when it comes to ring fingers.


Well....go finger....
 


Motorists in China have been left bemused by this traffic signalling system, where officials installed over 20 sets of lights on a single pole at a crossroad.
The baffling traffic light junction was spotted at a set of crossroads in Chongqing City in China, and looks too confusing for even the most experienced driver.
The system appears to employ well over a dozen sets of conventional traffic lights pointing in all direction with no additional signs to explain anything to frustrated drivers.
Authorities have explained, however, that the lights should be ignored - because they were only installed for decorative purposes and do not direct drivers.


Wonder how many members of the “authorities” went to Eton?


And finally on this very informative blog:



An Arabian horse named William got spooked during a California beachside photo shoot Tuesday and swam a mile out to sea before rescuers got to him and helped him back to shore.
Carpinteria-Summerland Fire Capt. Jay Irwin tells the Santa Barbara News-Press (http://bit.ly/LSknaq ) that the horse's white head looked like a seagull bobbing in the water.
Owner Mindy Peters says the 6-year-old Arabian, whose official name is Heir of Temptation, was part of a photo clinic on the beach when it was spooked by waves and ran off.
Rescue swimmers assisted by the Santa Barbara Harbour Patrol and state parks employees found the horse a mile offshore as darkness fell.


Should have named him Bob....

 

And today’s thought:
The gender gap.




Angus