No smoke without a bung: HMRC waste and mismanagement: Big Bird in Fife: Canned menu: Catapult crime: and a Bulgarian Mermaid.

Coldish, blowy and a drizzle of skywater at the Castle this morn but at least it will wash away the sand from all over the Honda that appeared yestermorn.

I see that the boss of my bank has decided that he will remain in his rather well paid job because it wasn’t his fault but a "small number" of employees who had tried to make profits for their own benefit.

And whether or not the weather will banjax Blighty for the second day.

Apparently more than five MPs involved in the “plain packet” fag do-dah

Accepted lunch and two tickets to the Chelsea Flower Show valued at £1,132.80.

Brian Binley, along with Alun Cairns, Karl McCartney, Stephen Metcalfe, Laurence Robertson and Therese Coffey had a nice meal and a wander round the flora display in the posh part of the Smoke courtesy of  Japan Tobacco International – which owns brands such as Benson & Hedges, Camel, Silk Cut and Mayfair

Allegedly they were reportedly among 51 MPs to have expressed "serious concerns with the Department of Health's proposal to introduced standardised or 'plain' packaging for tobacco products". Health campaigners believe the measure will reduce the attraction of smoking to teenagers.

Mr Binley told the Daily Telegraph he had "not acted immorally". Japan International Tobacco, he said, "made a kind invite that I accepted on that basis. From the perspective of freedom, people who smoke are victimised. No one is doing very much about the 40,000 who die from eating too much every year".

All smoke and mirrors?

 

Her Maj’s Revenue and Customs

Wrote orf almost £5.2 billion in taxes according to a report published by official auditors today, last year it overpaid around £2-£2.5 billion in tax credits and underpaid up to £290 million as a result of fraud and error.

Over the last two years, the report found there had been a "large increase" in the amount of tax which HMRC has decided not to pursue - including £756 million worth of income tax in 2011/12 alone. Total tax debts being pursued stood at £13.3 billion at the end of March, down from £15 billion the year before.

The 2011/12 total of £5.17 billion in write-offs and remittances - debts which have been dropped because they are too small to be worth pursuing or would cause hardship if collected - included £1.5 billion in income tax, £1.9 billion in VAT, £653 million in National Insurance and £503 million in corporation tax.

Nice, but it didn’t stop them charging me £8.90 VAT on my parcel from the States....

 

Norf of the border

An eagle owl remained on the loose in Fife after apparently escaping from captivity.

Residents in the village of Townhill are being urged to lock their doors and windows and keep their pets firmly out of reach of the beast – one of the world’s most vicious owls.

The Scottish SPCA has been notified but has said that unless an owner can coax it home, the charity will not attempt a capture.

Scottish SPCA chief superintendent Mike Flynn said: “These birds are notoriously difficult to catch and we would only be able to uplift it if already contained.”

With a six-foot wingspan, it can eat a baby deer, rodents, rabbits and hares but has been known to attack cats, small dogs and even other birds of prey.

 

Don’t suppose a rolled up newspaper would be much use then......

East to the place where they have strange eating habits

A restaurant that serves only canned food has become quite popular; you can eat cold food from a tin with plastic cutlery and pay for the privilege.

Things have been going so well that Clean Brothers, the restaurant and cafe Company behind the bizarre “diner”, has begun franchising the idea throughout Japan, under the name Mr. Kanso, and there are currently 17 branches, 14 of which are franchises, but the number of interested franchisees is growing steadily.

There are no menus at Mr. Kanso restaurants, just shelves lined with about 300 different types of canned foods from all around the world; you can find anything from Hokkaido bear curry to French salad in a can.

And this isn’t related in any way to radiation......because there isn’t any...

West to the home of the motor and the land of speed cameras

Police in Maryland say a man has been charged with assault for using a slingshot to fire glass marbles at a speed camera van.

Authorities say Bruce Lawrence May of Ellicott City was arrested Tuesday. The 50-year-old Lawrence was also charged with destruction of property and reckless endangerment. He was released on $3,000 bond.

Howard County police say that at about 5 p.m. Tuesday, the van was near Manor Woods Elementary School when the operator heard something hit the side of the vehicle. The operator saw a minivan pass and saw the driver with a slingshot fire another projectile at the speed camera van.

Police say that May had received two speed camera violations recently.

No shit....

And finally:

 Not a Vampire but a Mermaid skeleton.

That’s it: I’m orf to enter the Butler in the International Submarine Races event.

And today’s thought:

Oh crap! This is going to hurt Olympics

Angus

A plot to exhume: Terror tots: Eating farts: Dutch Mars: Google goggles: and the Shanzai Lamborghini.

Cloudy, coldish and calm at the Castle this morn, did a bit of fettling in the garden between showers yestermorn and then gathered yet another load for the “recycling centre”.

From the Smoke to up Norf

Allegedly thousands of graves will be dug up and moved to make way for the new high-speed rail line between London and Birmingham.

The HS2 rail line is expected to run straight through old cemeteries in London and Birmingham. It is estimated that the remains of about 50,000 people could be affected.

Under the plans, the Curzon Street terminal would be built on Park Street in Digbeth, Birmingham, a 19th Century graveyard.

And St James Gardens, a consecrated former church burial ground in Euston, central London, will also need to be dug up. 

Strict rules apply to the exhumation of bodies. In England and Wales, the Ministry of Justice first has to grant a licence for their removal, it then has to gain planning permission and adhere to rules set out by organisations such as English Heritage and the church. Because of the age of most of the burial grounds this tends to be the Church of England.

Reburial must also take place - usually in other nearby cemeteries.

The graves in question date back at least 100 years, though many are much older. In some cases, they are unmarked by headstones and any living relatives are no longer contactable.

 

You are not even safe from this lot when you are dead and buried, think I’ll be cremated.

All over banjaxed Blighty

According to the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition’s behaviour tsar Charlie Taylor a growing number of primary school children are too violent and disruptive to be in school.

Apparently there is a group of children showing very extreme behaviour, very difficult, challenging, violent behaviour - often quite young children. There is an increase in those kind of children.”

They would often resort to kicking or biting fellow pupils in the classroom, MPs on the Commons select committee for education were told...

Mr Taylor’s comments follow claims from head teachers’ leaders that children often arrive at primary school — lacking in personal skills and ill-equipped to communicate with their fellow pupils.

They have put the blame on parents who fail to communicate with them - and allow them to remain in front of computer screens or TVs for the most part of the day.

The PPPMCC’s “solution” is that parents should be docked benefit payments if they failed to pay fines levied upon them as a result of their children truanting.

And it doesn’t help Kiddlies behaviour when one’s parents leave one behind in a pub.....

East to the land that invented everything (almost)

Researchers at Zhongda Hospital at Southeast University in Nanjing have come up with a cunning plan to lower blood pressure-“eating farts”.

An experiment was done at Johns Hopkins University in which the smell of flatus, which comes from hydrogen sulphide, effectively controlled the blood pressure of mice.

Yuyu Yao, an associate professor at Southeast University, said that it has not yet been tested on human beings. A working dosage could be a problem because of the size difference between humans and mice.

The gas could have side effects on other parts of the body, he added.

I think Yuyu has been sniffing something else.........

Back to below sea level in Europe

Dutch space company Mars One has unveiled their secret plan to have humans living (and dying) on the red planet by 2023. According to their video which hit YouTube today, the first four-person team will take seven years to reach their destination, with additional crews heading off every two years after that to live out their remaining days establishing a permanent settlement.

 While this sounds like the plot of a science fiction film, the project and the company behind it seem legitimate, having apparently been endorsed by Nobel Prize-winning theoretical physicist Prof. Dr. Gerard 't Hooft. Oddly, "Big Brother" co-creator Paul Römer is also an ambassador of the project.

Too much wacky baccy methinks...

Left to the home of street view and the land of search engines

Google has unveiled its latest invention – a pair of high-tech glasses which can video everything you see.

The computer giant introduced the device at a launch event showing live feeds from the cameras on glasses worn by sky-divers.

As the daredevils jumped out of a blimp flying above San Francisco, attendees at Google's I/O event watched the video footage from their perspective.

They also watched the live stream from cyclists jumping over ramps then riding into the conference room.

The device has a camera to capture fleeting moments and allow others to see the world through your eyes.

It also houses a speaker, microphones as well as a processor and sensors which can give users information on what they are seeing.

For instance, wearers of the glasses could see directions to their destination appear literally before their eyes.

They can also talk to friends over video chat or even buy things online as they walk around.

The company is selling the device, known as Project Glass, for $1,500 - but only to people at its annual three-day conference in San Francisco.

That’ll go dahn well with the Elfandsafety chaps....

And finally:

Right again to the place where copies are king

The latest Lamborghini replica to come out of China is of the Murcielago LP64, and is said to be 99% identical to the original on the outside, while the interior is “only” 70% identical.

A brand new Lamborghini Murcielago LP64 would cost you over $400,000 but this ex Toyota MR2 will only cost you $65,000.

According to the cars maker the reservation period for a Chinese Lamborghini Murcielago LP64 replica is 5 months, and requires an initial deposit of 210,000 Yuan.

The only snag is that it will never be legal on the road because it can’t be registered.

Bit of a waste of time and money then…..

That’s it: I’m orf to celebrate the steam engine

And today’s thought:

Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh Wimbledon

Angus

USPS and Parcel Force: Ailing NHS: Argy-Bargy Bish: Swedish sitters: Venezuelan Grandmother: and Egg throwing.

Warmish, dullish and calmish at the Castle this morn, the garden needs a minor fettle-again, the elbow is almost fixed and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from under the stairs.

Long, long ago a daft old fart ordered some goods from far away country; USPS (United States Postal Services) took three days to collect it and another five days to send it by rowboat to UK Customs up Norf.

Then UK Customs (when they aren’t on strike) took four days to slap charges on it and then revised the charges, Parcel Force then kindly paid the VAT of £8.90 for the daft old fart and charged him the princely sum of £8.00 for the privilege.

What happens then is that Parcel Force will send the daft old fart a letter telling him that he owes them dosh and to cough up or he can’t have his parcel, and when he does pay the ransom they will deliver his parcel probably when he is out and leave him a glad you weren’t in card. 

But the daft old fart wasn’t that daft; he went to the Parcel Force depot, paid the ransom and finally took his shiny new parcel home.

All in all it took the daft old fart’s parcel 15 days to travel from New Jersey (where the turnpike is) to dahn ere in ‘Ampshire and cost him £16.90 on top of the purchase price and original delivery costs.

And the moral of this daft old fart’s story is-if you want to buy something from the States-don’t.......

I see that the privatisation plans of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition are going swimmingly

Apparently more than 30 NHS trusts could be forced to merge, devolve services into the community and make job cuts as part of a radical restructuring of hospital care across England.

Yesterday the Department of Health said it considered 21 hospitals to be "clinically and financially unsustainable" and in need of radical restructuring.

However, the list did not include another five foundation hospitals – run independently of the Department of Health – which are also considered to be failing financially. A further five foundation hospitals also have severe financial problems.

South London Healthcare NHS Trust, which is losing £1m a week, is likely now to be run by a special administrator tasked with putting it on a viable footing.

The trust, which runs Queen Mary's Hospital in Sidcup, the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Woolwich and the Princess Royal University Hospital in Bromley is likely to face cuts to services and jobs in an attempt to reduce costs.

Department of Health sources suggested it was possible that other hospitals could also be put into administration. Those at greatest risk are understood to be Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust and Surrey and Sussex Healthcare NHS Trust.

Many of the problems faced by the affected hospitals are historical. Some have been burdened with prohibitively expensive PFI debts which they are struggling to service, while others are providing services which are now uneconomical.

Some hospitals are also trying to provide a full range of hospital services to relatively small but isolated communities and finding there are not the economies of scale to stay within budget. Said one source who could not be named as they are involved in hospital regulation.

That’s the problem when a Service becomes a Business......

Left to the place where people aren’t lazy

Bishop Fernando Bargallo, 57, was forced to hand in his resignation after photographs emerged this month showing him frolicking and embracing a woman at a luxury resort in Mexico.

Bargallo, who led the Argentine diocese of Merlo-Moreno outside Buenos Aires since May 1997, has reportedly admitted to having "amorous ties" with the woman he is seen embracing in the water, thought to be a divorced restaurant owner.

He had initially claimed she was just a long-time friend.

The news broke as the Vatican ousted the founder of an Italian mission for "serious immoral behaviour," after it emerged he had sex with female missionaries during a posting in South America.

Luigi Prandin, who founded the Villaregia Missionary Community, was ousted along with co-founder, Maria Luigia Corona, who knew of the liaisons but covered it up because she feared a scandal.

Ex Nazi Pope Benedict XVI has vigorously denied claims that abstention may have contributed to sex abuse scandals, insisting repeatedly that celibacy is central to the priesthood.

In April, he issued a rare condemnation of errant priests, slamming in particular an "appeal to religious disobedience" launched by a group of Austrian clerics in 2011, which argued for an end to priestly celibacy.

Still....at least it wasn’t a Kiddly he was fiddling with....

Right loads of thingies to one of the European countries in the Norf

Politicians in Sweden are calling for new rules to ban men from urinating while standing up.

The local Left Party on the Sormland County Council wants men to sit down to pee in council toilets.

The socialist and feminist party claims that seated urination is more hygienic for men, reports The Local newspaper.

They say it decreases the likelihood of puddles and is better for men's health by more effectively emptying the bladder.

However, at least one expert, John Gamel, a professor at the University of Louisville, disagrees.

"Men scatter urine not so much during the actual urination as during the 'shaking off' that follows," he said.

"As a result, forcing men to sit while emptying their bladders will serve little purpose, since no man wants to shake himself off while remaining seated on the toilet."

That would take all the fun out of it, anyway wait until they get to a certain age, then they have to sit to pee....

Dahn a bit to the land that spawned the Ex Nazi El Papa

The Venezuelan government is championing the Pemon Indians of the "Gran Sabana" region by demanding the return of the polished stone known to them as "Grandmother" from Berlin's Tiergarten Park.

Caracas is calling it robbery, and the sculptor arguing that the stone was a legal gift.

Bet that didn’t fit in his hand luggage....

And finally:

 Up a whimsy from dahn ere in ‘Ampshire

Hundreds of sports enthusiasts from all over the world descended upon the Lincolnshire hamlet of Swaton to take part in the fiercely egg throwing contest competition held on Sunday.

Teams travelled from as far as Germany and South Africa to take part in the day's events, which included Russian Egg Roulette and Egg Trebuchet.

Eggs were hurled, tossed and launched by teams of competitors, cheered on by family and friends in attendance.

Eggheads could also pay £2 for three attempts at hitting bodybuilder Joel Hicks in the World Target Throwing with Accuracy Challenge.

Competing teams were raising money for a host of charities, with organisers hoping for donations to surpass the £10,000 mark.

President of the World Egg Throwing Championship, Andy Dunlop explained before the event: 'We are expecting records to fall. Ireland in particular seems very confident.

'We use a particular breed of chicken which gives harder shells therefore they should be able to be thrown over 70 metres,' he told the BBC.

The sport dates back to 1322 when a newly appointed Abbot of Swaton ensured attendance at church by providing peasants with one egg each.

However when the River Eau flooded that year, monks were forced to hurl eggs over to waiting peasants who were unable to attend the service. 

They would have raised more if they just sold the eggs-seen the price of them lately?

Addendum:

Email received from Andy Dunlop-admin@eggthrowing.org

Sir,

I read your blog with interest. To clarify, 1500 eggs used, all of which were past their sell by date, value was nil. If not donated, and purchased non waste eggs, would of cost £250. Cash raised by destruction of waste food £10,000. Monies raised used to support hospices, cancer reasearch, immediate care response. No PFI wastage and no politicians involved.

The World Egg Throwing Federation is a totally non profit organisation. All monies raised go to afore mentioned causes. Expenses are not drawn.

Andy Dunlop

Well, thanks Andy that's eggsplaned it eggstremely well-what about Elfandsafety?

That’s it: I’m orf to teach my laptop to recognise his Maj

And today’s thought:

Losing your head over the Olympics

Angus

Shit for brains Cameron: Her Maj’s order of preference: 30 minute Post Office: Facebook E-Mail addresses: Alpaca Pig: and Red light National trust.

Not as nice as yesterday at the Castle this morn and as it was so nice yestermorn I took a day orf, put a cupful of go juice in the Honda and steered my way sarf to the place where shingle abounds. 

Bit late today as I am chasing a parcel from the United States of Piss Poor Postal Services, more tomorrow...

 

And his Maj bought me a present, I told him to hop it....

It seems that the true nature of fuckwit U-Turn Cam has finally risen to the surface

According to no-nuts Cameron if a Tory Government is elected after the next poll debacle in 2015 some state benefits would be “paid” in kind rather than cash, we are looking at food vouchers folks; other ‘ideas’ are to break the link between benefits and inflation and reducing the amount of money paid to people, withdrawal of housing benefit from under-25s, removing the right for high-earners to keep their council homes, a reduction in the £20,000-a-year cap on housing support and limits on the additional benefit received by families with three or more children to cut the £84bn bill for working-age welfare. 

He also suggested it might be possible to curtail cash payments to those on welfare. "Is it right that we continue to pay the vast majority of welfare benefits in cash, rather than in benefits in kind, like free school meals?" he said.

However, a similar scheme brought in for asylum-seekers had to be dropped after evidence emerged that it stigmatised families.

I have no problem with reducing the welfare bill, but can’t it be done by targeting those who don’t need public money?

The rich(overpaid “managers, CEOs and directors of NHS Trusts, MPs, the sideboard, bankers, GPs, ‘Orspital consultants and many others claiming some of the £12 billion child benefit bill), the fraudsters, or the DLA claimers who do not need it.

Apparently there is a “majority” of consensus in Coalition Blighty for a benefits crackdown, which is fair enough but don’t forget that the way this Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is “governing” the country it may well be you that is in need of a bit of financial support from the State in the near future...what will your view be then?

Up in the Smoke

Her Maj has updated the Order of Precedence in the Royal family, making it clear that the Duckess of Cambridge must curtsy to the Princesses by birth.

Apparently Kate has discovered that there are several women in the Royal family to whom she must show reverence, and when she is not accompanied by Prince William, must curtsy to the “blood princesses”, the Princess Royal, Princess Alexandra, and the ugly sisters (daughters) of the Duck of York, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.

When William is with her, Kate does not need to bend the knee to either of them, but she must curtsy to the Prince of Wales, the Duchess of Cornwall, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh.

Despite being married to the Queen’s son, the Countess of Wessex will, however, have to curtsy to Kate, even when William is not present.
 

A Buckingham Palace spokesman declines to comment.

Too bloody embarrassed I suppose....

Left more than a pile of miles to the other ‘Ampshire

The hours at the post office in Sugar Hill have recently been cut back to 30 minutes a day, down from a few hours. The post office is open from 10:15 to 10:45 each morning.

New Hampshire's two U.S. senators have written a letter urging the U.S. Postal Service to hold a community meeting in the northern New Hampshire town so that residents, government officials and business owners can ask questions and offer their thoughts on the future of retail postal service there.

 

Just like in “sorry you were out” Blighty then....

 

And did you know?

That Facebook has changed your Email address; you have a new primary e-mail address listed as your Facebook contact, and most likely it’s an address you’ve never used.

The social-networking site has quietly replaced your default e-mail addresses such as Gmail and Yahoo! with your @Facebook.com address, an e-mail service option the company launched a few years ago and synced with Timeline in April.

“As we announced back in April, we’ve been updating addresses on Facebook to make them consistent across our site,” a Facebook spokesperson told Mashable. “In addition to everyone receiving an address, we’re also rolling out a new setting that gives people the choice to decide which addresses they want to show on their Timelines.”

The e-mail address you once listed as your point of contact is now hidden in the site’s database and your assigned @Facebook.com address is highlighted for friends to see. If you ever changed your Facebook vanity URL that serves as the prefix of your Facebook e-mail address (i.e. Facebook.com/John.Smith would be John.Smith@Facebook.com). For those that never added a vanity URL, Facebook has assigned numbers to serve as your email account name.

 I checked my account and they bleedin have.....

Norf of old ‘Ampshire

A one-week-old fugitive piglet has been named Al by staff at Wheelgate Family Theme Park in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, who are searching for his home and family.

He was found over the weekend seeking comfort with the park's alpacas a spokeswoman for the park said: "As poor little Al is so young and unsure as to how long he had been outside in the cold for, he has required a lot of TLC, which is usually provided by the mother.

"Wheelgate catering manager Jay Bloomfield took on a surrogacy role last night and took little Al home to keep him warm and provide his bottle-feeds at various intervals throughout the night.

"It's been a long night but little Al seems to be merrily bouncing around this morning."

So if they find out where Al comes from will it be a case bringing home the bacon....

And finally:

 

Back in the Smoke

The National Trust has released a mobile phone app that will help guide tourists through the streets of Soho the home of London’s sex industry.

The free device, which can be downloaded on a mobile phone, enables tourists to wander the capital's backstreets listening to outrageous behaviour made famous over the past 60 years.

The “Soho Stories” uses GPS technology to guide visitors through the red light district as they hear colourful stories of sex, violence and wild partying.

It concentrates on events since the 1940s including the development of music, the area’s “many outrageous personalities”, social movements, feminism and homosexual liberation as well as vice and crime.

Listeners, who will be restricted to those aged over 17, will be able to listen to drunken tales from the Groucho Club while another details how gangster “Mad” Frankie Fraser operated his protection rackets.

Other more colourful stories include those of Francis Bacon, the homosexual artist, being whipped and a former vice-squad officer pointing out a phone box that was a front for a crack den.

The organisation charged with protecting Britain’s historic sites, houses and gardens, has created the “no-holds-barred” audio guide in a bid to shed its conservative image and attract younger members.

Spiffing...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to send a few terabits by twisted light

And today’s thought:

My bum is big in this Wimbledon

Angus

Robbie’s Law: Even more cuts: Python cook in: Hanging out in Munich: and Conceptual juggling.

Still chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal in the gauge has gorn orf to find somewhere warmer, his Maj is really, really fed up and is gazing out of the window in the vain hope that the big yellow warm thing will appear, the butler is stuffing fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace and my feet have gorn blue. 

Some serious stuff to start with:

A friend of mine-Will Powell has started an E-Petition to get the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition to debate Robbie’s Law

Will and his family have been fighting for over TWO DECADES to get the lying, self protecting doctors, coppers, and all and sundry involved to tell the truth.

Have a read of the circumstances leading to Robbie’s death HERE, and then sign the petition HERE.

Will Powell and his family deserve justice; as do all relatives of those killed by the inbred, arrogant, dick-wad minority of “Medics” who manage to end the lives of patients by either the wrong actions or lack of proper treatment.

100,000 signatures are required, it will take maybe five minutes to sign and then confirm the email, isn’t it worth five minutes to bring a bit of closure to tens of thousands of families still mourning lost relatives years after their deaths?

So go on, instead watching the “News” click on this Link and then forward it to your contacts, Tweet it, Facebook it, blog about it, send it to as many people as possible so that we can finally have an end to patients and relatives being treated like mushrooms...

  

Apparently U-turn Cam is about to issue yet another Piss Poor Policy

Allegedly The Prime Monster will use a speech in south-east England tomorrow to outline future radical changes which are aimed at saving an extra £10 billion by 2016 on top of existing plans.

Ministers expect this “next wave” of benefit cuts to include the axing of all housing benefit currently paid to around 380,000 people aged under 25. Such a move would force many to move back in with their parents rather than living independently.

Another controversial reform which could come in further down the line is setting benefit payments regionally – which would mean less money going to claimants who live in less-expensive parts of the country.

Dave’s speech will be the latest example of senior Conservatives pursuing a deliberately Tory agenda, following recent interventions from leading ministers on Europe, immigration, the replacement for Britain’s future Trident nuclear deterrent and moves to deal with “problem families”.

The aim is to boost Tory morale – and to achieve an opinion poll boost – by pursuing a “differentiation” strategy which risks alienating the Lib Dems. Since the Budget which sparked several embarrassing U-turns, Labour has opened up a big lead over the Conservatives in the polls.

I say “allegedly” because we all know how often U-Turn Cam has the habit of disappearing up his own rear exit....

Left more than many, many miles

Dahn in Sarf Florida Python, wild boar, and lion fish are usually a bit of a problem, but a solution has been found-they are going on the menu.

Todd Erickson, executive chef of Haven Gastro-Lounge; Bradley Herron, chef de cuisine of Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink, and Timon Balloo, executive chef of Sugarcane Raw Bar Grill will compete for the title of “Best Invasivore Chef.”

The cooking fest will begin at 8 p.m. Saturday at Villa 221, at 221 NE 17th St., Miami. “I think this will be fun and I’m very excited to see what Timon and Bradley do,” Erickson said. “Some good food is going to come out of it.”




I do like a bit of bacon, not too sure about Python or Lionfish...

Right just as many imperial units and then a bit more

More than 1,700 men and women have stripped naked in a German square in the latest art installation by photographer Spencer Tunick.

The volunteers, painted red and gold, were arranged in lines by the American in an interpretation of scenes from Richard Wagner’s opera Der Ring des Nibelungen.

The installation, in Munich’s Max-Joseph Platz, was created to mark the opening of the 2012 Munich summer opera season.

The Bavarian State Opera, which commissioned the work, said: "Tunick's installations encompass dozens, hundreds or thousands of volunteers; and his photographs are record of these events

According to Tunick "When you see 300 people naked in Grand Central Station, or a river of flesh flowing through the beauty aisles of Selfridges department store, it makes you think about all sorts of social and political issues."

Maybe for half the population....maybe

And finally:

A bit of relaxation in the form of “conceptual Juggling”

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the Gigapixel camera

And today’s thought:

Anyone seen my bollocks Olympics

And don’t forget to sign the Robbie’s Law petition.

Angus

Profit before Patients: Post Offices on the Horizon: Racoon rumpus: Swedish strawberries: Millie the minder: and Exotic “art”

Sunny, cold, oodles of atmospheric movement and more than a whimsy of white fluffy stuff but dry at the Castle this morn, I snatched a glimpse of Dawn’s crack earlier and it wasn’t a pretty sight, but at least his Maj can canter around the garden again...

In the “new” Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition privatised NHS

Apparently four in five NHS trusts in England and Wales say patients are suffering “unacceptable” delays for drugs to treat life-threatening conditions including cancer, Parkinson’s disease, schizophrenia and organ failure.

A survey of 60 NHS authorities found that the shortage was doing patients “serious harm”, with some having to be admitted to hospital for emergency treatment after they were unable to get their medicines.

Pharmaceutical companies began rationing drugs to the NHS four years ago after British wholesalers and pharmacies started selling them abroad to take advantage of favourable exchange rates.

The Department of Health said it was considering an investigation to determine the scale of the problem. A spokesman said it was up to drug companies to make sure quotas were set fairly.

He said the Government had an emergency reserve of essential medicines. “We will take any action necessary in the event of disruption to supply and distribution of medicines that causes serious risk to patients.”

Yeah right....

And what is left of our Post Offices

Are under as bit of a cloud, The Post Office has appointed external investigators to examine allegations of deficiencies in the computer system used in all its outlets.

It comes after many sub-postmasters said they had been wrongly accused of theft, fraud and false accounting.

Around 100 sub-postmasters and sub-postmistresses have registered an interest in suing Post Office Ltd over its Horizon computer system.

Horizon records financial transactions in branches across the UK.

Sub-postmasters say they have been forced to pay back many thousands of pounds' worth of money which they did not take.

Many of them were stripped of their post office contracts and bankrupted, and a handful has served prison sentences.

The Post Office has instructed a firm of forensic accountants, 2nd Sight Limited, to conduct an independent review of 10 existing cases raised by a number of MPs and the law firm Shoosmiths.

A confidential Post Office internal memo in September 2008 said that in its crown offices alone - those operated by the Post Office itself rather than by sub-postmasters - there had been £2.2m of losses in one year, which was having a serious effect on its ability to achieve profitability.

The Post Office has repeatedly denied there is a problem with the system, saying the claims have been made by a very small number of people who had contracts with it.

A spokesman said: "The Post Office continues to have absolute confidence in the robustness and integrity of its branch accounting processes.

It has refused to publish figures on apparent losses at sub-post offices.

Should be interesting...

West to the place that used to make music and motors

A baby raccoon got caught in a Dearborn Heights sewer grate, Department of Public Works Director Bill Zimmer was in his front yard late Wednesday morning when he noticed the critter. It was stuck head-first in the centre of a large iron sewer grate, Zimmer told colleagues.

Zimmer called on fellow DPW employees Don Sepanski, Sean Moylan and Carl Kennedy for help, the DPW crew carefully removed the manhole so they didn't injure the raccoon, and then went to work "with a quantity of vegetable oil and dish soap ... and a little TLC."

"The furry friend was freed and placed in a cage for a trip to the DPW yard for a much-needed shower,"  

"Once cleaned, watered and cooled down, the unharmed raccoon was set free in a nearby wooded area to enjoy the rest of the day's heat wave in a familiar (but cooler) habitat," Ankrapp's release said.

Never had a Raccoon stuck in my manhole....

East a lot to one of the Northern countries

Swedish authorities said strawberries are being analyzed in a German lab in an attempt to stop foreign fruits from being passed off as local.

Waldemar Ibron of the Swedish Board of Agriculture told the Dagens Nyheter newspaper officials are trying to stop foreign strawberries from being passed off as Swedish ahead of midsummer, when locally grown strawberries are part of traditional festivities, Swedish news agency TT/The Local.se reported Friday.

"We have taken a few samples and they're on the way to Germany for analysis," Ibron said.

Growers in southern Sweden said the counterfeit strawberries are hurting their business by offering the fruits for lower prices.

Mid summer-har fucking har....

Back in befuddled Blighty

Millie the Bengal cat, thought to be the world's first ever feline security guard, has been hired to guard some of the UK's best-selling toy ranges.

Bandai's warehouse in Sarfampton was on the lookout for a new security guard when workers spotted the attentive moggy roaming around the factory floor.

'We are expecting a bumper year this Christmas with orders starting to fly in from retailers putting in their requests, including new boys action toy releases for Ben 10 and Power Rangers,' a spokesman said.

'With the appointment of Millie the security cat, our toys are now very well protected.'

Millie will be paid in cat food and fish at the factory.

She will be guarding toys including the new Ben 10, Power Rangers and Thunder Cats figures, expected to be top-sellers this Christmas.

I see that she is already checking out the stock...

 And finally:

Norf of the border

An X-RATED arts festival featuring Japanese bondage workshops is set for a sell-out, with more than 700 expected to attend.

Tickets for the Festival of Erotic Arts, taking place at city venues this weekend, have been so popular that many of the risqué shows are already at capacity.

Organisers say the most popular events include flagship club night Torture Garden and revue spectacular Kabarett, which boasts burlesque and showgirl performers.

The festival will feature readings of erotic poetry, film screenings and parties, the largest of which will include a sado-masochist dungeon and require revellers to wear “latex, leather or rubber” or “all-out burlesque glamour”.

End-of-night parties will be hosted at the Voodoo Rooms in West Register Street and The Caves and Banshee Labyrinth in Niddry Street. White Space in Gayfield Square and the Pleasance Cabaret Bar will also house erotic art exhibitions and revues.

About two-thirds of tickets have been sold in Edinburgh or the central belt of Scotland.

Festival director Donna McGrory said: “Ticket sales are going very well. Our VIP tickets sold out within three weeks of going on sale and our short film screening, literary showcase and closing party events have sold out.

“We’ve a number of free events, including a talk by Edinburgh-based striptease artist Dr Gypsy Charms on Sunday, Saturday’s craft fair and, of course, our flagship Visual Art exhibitions running across the weekend. We’re excited about our launch weekend and are very happy to report a high number of ticket sales and artist participation at the festival.

Spanking weekend....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to have a word with my printer

And today’s thought:

Does my bum feel big in this Olympics?

Angus