Electronic orgy: Olympic fuel fools: Le Sauveur: the Bug gun: Hot footed Numptys: and the Olympic UFO.

A touch of lack of heat, a smidge of damp stuff and not a jot of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, still have oodles of hot water, his Maj is bored with the wevver and I seem to have been invaded by yellow flowered Triffids which I didn’t plant.

Somewhere in the interweb thingy

Infineon Technologies' Lim Saw Sing discovered a colony of microscopic nudists having an orgy on the surface of an integrated circuit.

Which turned out to be the polyimide surface itself after being exposed to etching by reactive ions.

 I knew that....

 

Back in the Smoky Olympics-sort of

Hydrogen-fuelled taxis, introduced in London for the Olympic Games, are being transported on a 130-mile round trip to Swindon to refuel.

The fleet of three low-emission cabs was introduced to ferry VIPs and officials during the Games.

But the hydrogen fuelling station, at Lea Interchange near the Olympic Park, has had to close for security reasons.

The consortium HYTEC, which provided the taxis, said a new station was expected to open at Heathrow soon.

In the meantime, the taxis are loaded on a transporter to make the trip to the nearest filling station at car manufacturer Honda's plant in Swindon.

What a gas...

 

Over the Channel or through the Chunnel

Francois Hollande, the French president, was the latest to pledge eurozone leaders would do “everything possible” to save the euro today following a meeting with Mario Monti, the Italian prime minister.

Mr Hollande said significant progress had been made over recent weeks, adding: “We cannot allow ourselves one minute of inattention. We recalled our commitment... that the eurozone be defended, preserved and consolidated.” 

I do like an optimist...

Over the big salty thing on the left

Alexandra Gunn has "invented" the newest way to kill pesky house flies.

Personally I prefer a rolled up newspaper, or an elastic band....

East to what used to be the “enemy”

A fire walking seminar in Moscow region’s city of Khimki ended in burns for most participants, an online tabloid reported on Monday.

Eighteen of 30 women who partook in the seminar had to seek medical help after walking some five meters over glowing coals in a bid to “strengthen their spirit,” Lifenews.ru said.

No case was opened because none of the victims required hospitalization, local police was cited as saying.

None of the victims sued for compensation, and at least one of them said she wants to repeat the experience, the tabloid said.

 

Oh dear......I do love a Numpty or thirty....

Back in alien London

Apparently while many, many people “watched” the ‘O limp dicks’ (thanks Bernard) opening cermony a clearly seen unidentified flying object was videotaped making its way over London’s Olympic stadium, reports Examiner.com.

The disc-shaped object is first seen entering the upper left portion of the video as the fireworks erupt over the stadium. The UFO — which appears to have a dome or bulge rising from its centre — moves slowly across the sky as if deliberately observing the light-show spectacle below it.

 

That’s it: I’m orf to Barclays for some loot

And today’s thought:

Olympic security

Angus

Tax bounty: Big Blighty fish: Dive!-pedal-pedal-pedal: God on the go: Tiger shark nabs a snapper: and another Darwin Numpty.

Dull, damp, dingy, dodgy and dull at the Castle this morn, there is more than a whimsy of lack of warm stuff, and the roses have been ruined (again) by the skywater as “summer” returns.

A quick recap-The saga of the ‘Aga’ is finally over (I hope), “engineer” 1 managed to leave the test thingy screw loose which filled the kitchen with Norf sea gas every time the water heater do-dah fired up.

Several days later “engineer” 2 arrived, tightened said test thing do-dah and decided that “engineer” 1 had also missed the fact that the ‘board’ was on the verge of suicide and ordered another.

Several days later “engineer” 3 arrived with new board, fitted it and then broke the fan by pulling on a wire a smidge too hard and ripped it out of the motor, he then disappeared for an hour or so to obtain a new whirly thing, fitted it, tested the boiler and then buggered orf.

I now have nice hot water and keep going to the kitchen every time the water thingy fires up-just in case.

But my lovely young lady arrived and trimmed what is left of my hirsute-ish bonce.

And I won’t even mention the five ring circus happening in the Smoke.

And it is now seven years and one day since “M” was taken......

All over bonus blighted Blighty

Allegedly the ‘Government’ has paid out more than £1 million in rewards for information on tax cheats since the start of the financial crisis, HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) handed over nearly £400,000 last year as part of little known “bounty payments” for reporting on tax evasion, according to figures obtained by the investigative website Exaro. The rewards rose by more than a fifth compared to the previous financial year.

The amount paid for information ranged from around £50 to tens of thousands of pounds, depending on how much tax is recouped as a result of the information provided.

One of the largest payments is believed to have been in 2008, when HMRC was said to have paid £100,000 to a former Liechtenstein banker for a list of secret offshore accounts held by Britons.

A spokesman for HMRC said that the cash is only handed out once any tax is recovered, a process that can take years.

 Didn’t know that...

 

Up a bit to Essex

A chef and keen angler from Essex has caught what is thought to be the largest freshwater fish - weighing more than 10 stone - to be landed in the UK.

James Jones, 31, of Southminster, caught the 144lb (65.3kg) Wels catfish at the Oak Lakes Fishery, Essex.

In Britain, before records were suspended in 2000, the largest catfish caught weighed just 62lb (28kg).

After weighing the fish it was returned to the lake.

Mr Jones, a chef at the White Hart in Burnham on Crouch, Essex, said when he realised what had taken his bait he "had to shout for help".

Bet that made some poo come out....

 

Right a few foreign Kilometres

Terrified sailors dived for cover in Hamburg, Germany, when what looked like a full-scale U-Boat surfaced on the city's Alster River.

Local river police were scrambled after astonished river users dialled 999 to report the lifelike sub, created by pals Marc Aberle 46, Reinhard Crasemann, and Sven-Ole Kramer, both 45.

U-POOLY turned out to be a life-sized replica of a sub conning tower - attached to a pedalo.

Nice to see a bit of payback....

Back to the land of humour and laughter

German artist Oliver Sturm has come up with a spiffing idea to help those who can’t get to the big buildings with crosses on-the Pray-O-Mat, a converted old photo booth that features 300 pre-recorded prayers and incantations in 65 different languages, and lets you get your blessing on the go.

Known as the “Gebetomat” in Germany, the “ingenious” device has been branded as a “Pray-O-Mat” for its transition to England, where it’s gotten quite a lot of attention since being installed at the University of Manchester, as part of a study into “multi faith spaces”.

You step into the photo booth and instead of having a bunch of passport photos taken, you insert a 50 eurocent coin and pick between 300 pre-recorded prayers and chants, via touch screen.

You can listen to five minutes of “Our Father” in several different languages; hear Aborigine Devotional songs and even prayers for rain from around the world. Most of the prayers were collected by Sturm himself, but some have been found in radio archives.

 

Oh Gord....

Left a fair way to the place where the sun actually shines

Shark expert Jim Abernethy was filming a shark documentary in the Bahamas when one of the sharks decided it didn't want a starring role ... and stole his $15,000 camera.

Abernethy had placed one of his cameras on the sea floor, while attending to something else, when one of the 14-foot tiger sharks swiped it and swam off.

Footage shot by another member of the "This is Your Ocean" team shows the moment the shark, known to the team as Emma, disappeared into the water.

After giving chase, Abernethy was able to retrieve his camera gear because Emma dropped it, not because he fought her for it.

 Sod that....

 And finally:

Dahn Unda

An Australian man has suffered severe and painful burns to his bottom after he placed a firework between his buttocks in a misconceived party trick.

The 23-year-old was at a party in Darwin in the Northern Territory when he set off the firecrackers.

Police said the man was admitted to hospital after the stunt backfired on Saturday.

"It appears that a party was in full progress when a young male decided to place a firework between the cheeks of his bottom and light it," local police spokesman Garry Smith said.

"What must have seemed to be a great idea at the time has obviously backfired and resulted in the male receiving quite severe and painful burns to his cheeks, back and private bits."

According to the Herald Sun newspaper paramedics were called to the house, although the man had taken himself to hospital by the time they arrived.

It is believed the reveller may have later been flown to the Royal Adelaide Hospital, which has a specialist burns unit.

It is illegal to let off fireworks in the Darwin area except on Territory Day on July 1 to celebrate the region becoming self-governing.

People face on the spot fines of 282 Australian dollars (£190) for possessing and discharging them at other times. 

Police added that alcohol may have been a factor. 

No shit-well probably loads of the stuff-Darwin Numpty...

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the flags on the moon

And today’s thought:

Anyone got any Canesten Olympics....

Angus

Groceries and GPs: No change: Aisle of Man: iPad Pussy: Eastern Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho: and a-Hoy Numpty.

Saw dawn’s crack between the white fluffy things at the Castle this morn, I have decided to put the new shorts back in the draw as the lack of warm in the atmospheric movement was beginning to give me frostbite on my old dangly bits...

The garden is in need of a minor fettle, the Honda is covered in yellow dusty stuff again and his Maj has decided that he doesn’t want to parachute into the grounds.

And I won’t mention the lack of metal gongs from the thing going on in the Smoke and elsewhere.

No post tomorrow-personal reasons: my lovely young lady is coming to trim my head hair, and the Nork who ballsed up the furnace is returning to put his errors right.

Dahn West and up Norf

Sainsbury's has opened two more GP surgeries in its supermarkets this year and has urged more practices to come forward to run primary care services in its stores.

The two surgeries come after four opened in Sainsbury's stores across the country last year and are based in stores in Newton Abbot in Devon, which opened in January, and Sunderland, which opened in May.

One surgery, which will be operated by GPs at the Buckland Surgery, Newton Abbot, has a fully equipped consultation room and will offer GP consultations every Monday Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

 

Good idea?

Back in the Olympic Smoke

Allegedly son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I can’t get past “A”) Osborne will keep both his jobs, aides to the prime monster told the Daily Mail that it was "completely absurd" to suggest that Osborne would be removed from his role in the Treasury in the autumn.

They also confirmed that Osborne will maintain his strategist role for the Conservatives, saying "it is a strength, at a time of economic crisis, to have a chancellor who regularly attends meetings at Downing Street".

That’s us stuffed then.....

Left a lot to the big bit of fruit

Westside Market in New York launched the city’s first “man aisle,” a haven for alpha-males tasked with buying groceries.

The “aisle” — which is actually an end-cap to an aisle — has all the essentials including, but not limited to: deodorant, a cornucopia of Doritos, ramen, beef jerky, beer, condoms and bottled water.

Because guys apparently love crushing empty plastic containers in their meaty manfists after chowing down on pickles and Chips Ahoy cookies.

According to Ian Joskowitz, chief operating officer of Westside Market NYC- essentially, the area is “grocery shopping for dummies” for these men. Who, if they are buying for their families, are doing their wives and children a great health and culinary disservice.

Oh dear....

Still in the home of silicon valley and the land of Pussies

Developer Little Hiccup has created a series of iPad apps designed to keep pets across the globe entertained and stimulated.

Its first App Game For Cats features a fast-moving mouse pointer which is said to appeal to their hunting instincts as they try to catch it.

It has been so popular that its creator TJ Fuller has followed up the App with a sequel named Paint For Cats.

 Designed for the more artistic moggy, the App makes a colourful paw imprint when a cat touches the screen.

The App was recently tested at an animal shelter where it received a positive response, with bigger cats such as lions and tigers even taking to it.

Oh dear, oh dear....

East more than oodles of miles

From land that has never been troubled by radiation comes a new world record for the largest ukulele ensemble.

More than 2,000 strummers gathered in Yokohama, Japan's second-largest city, to trump the previous record set in Sweden.

The group were watched by Guinness World Records officials, AFP news agency said, and played a song called Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho, written by a Hawaii-born former sumo wrestler.

They set the record during Japan's "Ukulele Picnic Week".

The diminutive guitar-shaped instrument originated from Hawaii, where it is also synonymous with hula dancing.

The previous record was set in August last year by 1,547 uke-wielding Swedes in Helsingborg.

More than one string to their bow then....

And finally: 

Back in time and back in the USA

On July 9^th 1993 Garry Hoy a lawyer for the law firm of Holden Day Wilson in Toronto attempted to prove to a group of his partners at the firm that the glass in the Toronto-Dominion Centre was unbreakable, so he threw himself at a glass wall on the 24th storey and fell to his death after the window frame gave way.

He had apparently performed this stunt many times in the past, having previously bounced harmlessly off the glass.

Should have worn a parachute...

That’s it: I’m orf to cancel my order for Windows 8

And today’s thought:

What makes you think I have been taking steroids Olympics?

Angus

Olympic history Lesson: Rodent Rodney: Ethical shoplifting: and Ava virtual customer service Rep.

Much less lack of cold at the Castle this morn, the big warm solar thing keeps hiding behind the white fluffy stuff and there some nice cool atmospheric movement.

Really late this Saturday, I overslept-see below for the reason.

I broke one of my habits of a lifetime and tried to watch the ceremony at the temporary round thing behind the Bid Red Helter Skelter last dark thing.

And I learned a lot-

I discovered that Great Blighty was a green and pleasant land full of sheep farms, maypoles and giant water wheels which turn without the need for wet stuff.

And that when Isambard Kindom Brunel came along he turned the land into a boiling, flora less place where giant smoking chimneys grew out of the ground and the first giant levitating circles of metal were invented.

And then I found out that our dear old NHS was infested with Dementors and Voldermort but we were all saved by a gaggle of Mary Poppins who arrived by umbrella.

And then a German BMW Mini arrived to start orf a series of “musical” tributes which included pop, punk, rock, rap, garage, grunge, grime, blood, pus, snot and everything.

After that lots of other things happened including Her Maj arriving by parachute and Mr Bean playing with his organ but I was beginning to lose the will to live by then so turned over to watch Quantum of Solace on one of the non Olympic channels.

But I did pop back during the adverts to see a seemingly endless stream of hopefuls whose marching was speeded up by oodles of people banging plastic buckets.

And then I saw a not good enough tattooed footie bloke bring the flame to the stadium, give it to an old bloke who gave it to seven young people that set light to 204 copper thingies that in the Brunel levitating fire fashion rose into the air to form a massive gas fire (no wonder British Gas is making so much profit).

But I did enjoy the Bond film....apparently according to “experts” you would only understand all the goings on if you were British-I am and I didn’t...

 

Still; only another seventeen days to go....

Over to the left and up a whimsy

A Canadian man accidentally shot himself in the forehead while trying to kill a mouse with the butt of his rifle.

The man was reportedly intending to crush the rodent with the weapon at a camp on Anjigami Lake in Ontario, but didn't know the gun was loaded.

As such he got quite a shock when the gun fired, with the bullet grazing his forehead but luckily not causing too much damage.

Police say the man was admitted to and released from the hospital, before being charged with careless use of a firearm.

A spokesperson said: "He was very lucky." It's not known what happened to the mouse.

 Plonker....

Dahn a bit

University of Louisville Police are accusing a Prospect man of stealing a textbook called “Resolving Ethical Issues” and trying to sell it at a bookstore, according to an arrest report.

Terry J. Davis, of the 14200 block of Harbour Place, was arrested Wednesday and charged with theft by unlawful taking by shoplifting, a Class A misdemeanour.

Davis allegedly took the book from 555 S. Floyd St., according to the arrest report. The address is listed as UofL’s Health Sciences Centre.

Later, Terry tried allegedly to sell the textbook back at Gray’s College Bookstore.

Is that ironic or what?

 

And finally: 

Still in the home of technology and the land of the avatar

Passengers at New Jersey's Newark Liberty International Airport will always get a smile from this customer service representative.

Libby is young, friendly, and eager to help travellers at Newark Liberty International Airport find their way toward baggage claims or connecting flights. Just don't ask her any questions.

Despite gestures and a pearly white smile, Libby isn't a real person but a life-size avatar — the first of three the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey plan to have in place at its busiest airports by mid-August.

That's because she's an avatar.

The Port Authority on Friday will unveil the computerized, hologram-like image named "Ava" in the international arrivals area in Terminal B. She's programmed to answer passengers' most frequently-asked questions.

The Port Authority is spending $180,000 to place the high-tech help at Newark, Kennedy and LaGuardia airports.

Sounds just like a “real” customer service rep then-what next-virtual airplanes?

That’s it: I’m orf to test drive a perpetual motion Renault.

And today’s thought:

I know just how you feel Olympics.

Angus

Olympic guide for foreigners: Arizona Yo-Yo: Big Rocket: Pig out in the Big Apple: Ne sois pas si grossier: and Crimbo arrives at Harrods.

A nice high layer of white fluffy stuff over the Castle this morn, the lack of cold seems to have left by the rear exit and I will be able to sit in garden without the big yellow thing melting my face.

The furnace is now performing as expected; the Nork who “serviced” it forgot to tighten up the ‘test’ screw thingy and also forgot to turn the gas back on, no wonder Blighty is in such a bleedin mess...

I see that LOCOG has taken over Auntie as apparently the only “news” occurring in the world is the two week traffic jam known as the Olympics.

It is now 12 mins past eight of the am and my tinnitus has suddenly got a lot worse.

And the interweb thingy is still working to rule...

 

And talking of that thingy which will apparently start this eve

The BEEB has issued a 2012 Olympic 12-part guide to the UK in 212 words each for those from other countries who are rich enough to attend.

 Click on the link over the pic to read it as I can’t be arsed....

Left to the up and dahn land

A 17-year-old Arizona boy who is the 12th ranked yo-yo performer in the nation said he is gearing up for next month's 2012 World Yo-Yo Contest.

Tyler Goldenberg of Phoenix said he came in 70th at last year's event in Orlando, Fla., and is hoping to place in the Top 50 of the 300-some competitors at the Aug. 2-4 competition this year, The Arizona Republic, Phoenix, reported Thursday.

Goldenberg said he has been practicing his minute-long routine 10 or 20 times per day during the past two months. He said he is proficient with performance, choreography and originality, but his speed has room for improvement.

The teenager said he is also looking forward to what follows the competition.

"The rest of the time it's just a five-day party with my friends from all over the world," he said.

I think the last sentence sums up the real reason....

 

Still in the land of oversized things

NASA's next-generation rocket, a really, really big booster expected to launch astronauts deeper into space than ever before, has passed a major design milestone, space agency officials announced Wednesday (July 25).

The new mega-rocket, called the Space Launch System, passed a series of reviews that laid out the technical, performance, cost and schedule requirements for the heavy-lift booster. The completion of the so-called System Requirements Review and System Definition Review allows program managers to proceed into the rocket's preliminary design phase, NASA officials said.

Apparently "This new heavy-lift launch vehicle will make it possible for explorers to reach beyond our current limits, to nearby asteroids, Mars and its moons, and to destinations even farther across our solar system," William Gerstenmaier, associate administrator for the Human Exploration and Operations Mission Directorate at NASA Headquarters in Washington, D.C., said in a statement.

The SLS rocket will be able to launch at least 70 metric tons of material into space at first, but the agency is hoping to evolve the booster to reach a launch capacity of 130 metric tons in subsequent upgrades. The first test flight of the SLS is scheduled to occur in 2017.

Oh joy, just what we need-hundreds more Tonnes of metal floating above our heads.....

Up more than a whimsy to the Big Apple

The corpse of a mystery animal which washed up on the shore of New York's East River has sparked a wave of conspiracy theories with online debates asking whether it is the carcass of a dog, a pig or an altogether more sinister creature.

The apparent 'monster' was found and pictured by an amateur photographer who was walking under the Brooklyn Bridge in Manhattan on Sunday.

The lady who captured the images, Denise Ginley said: "We were horrified by it and we took some camera phone pictures and then finally we decided to come back with my camera and I got up the courage to climb over the fence and get closer to it."

On first glance it appears that the animal is simply a bloated pig – a theory the New York Parks Department insist is correct – but closer inspection reveals that the animal appears to have toes rather than hooves.

Online theorists speculated it may be a dog or, even more worrying, a giant rat. Other online comments suggest it could be an aardvark, a raccoon or something related to a possum.

One online commentator suggested the beast was from a nearby government-run animal disease centre.

But the New York Parks Department is not budging from its initial identification of the animal.

"It was a pig left over from a cookout," a spokesperson told the Animal NY website. "We disposed of it."

Pressed further, the spokesman added: "It was a roasted pig we threw it out. We didn't count its toes, we just threw it out."

It’s a bleedin Pig......

Right more than oodles of Imperial Miles

To our nearest and dearest neighbours, according to a “poll” that revealed that 97% of bus and underground passengers had witnessed rude behaviour the French have admitted that they are rude - and that it is time for a change.

Among the biggest bugbears for commuters are loud conversations on mobile phones, jumping on a metro train before passengers have a chance to get off and just general "lack of manners".

The RATP campaign features a series of ads showing "rude" animals tormenting "civilised" humans.

One shows a hen shouting into a mobile while on a bus; another depicts a buffalo fighting its way onto a busy train and a third pictures a sloth uncaring and relaxed as it takes up more than its share of space.

RATP has also put up a website showing a range of scenarios that could happen to a traveller on public transport, and suggested commuters add their own words as captions for the pictures.

Wot-no frogs...... 

And finally:

Back in barmy Blighty

Santa was in London yesterday - dressed in his usual red robes, though with sunglasses on to open the Harrods Christmas department.

A full 151 days before his big night out It is the earliest ever launch of the store's 8,000 square foot department Christmas World which it hopes will be a big hit with tourists coming to the capital for the Olympics.

He arrived in a Jaguar painted in Union Jack colours, and inside unveiled a giant snowglobe village, a pop-up gingerbread Harrods and a mountaintop ski chalet.

There is also a replica of the Tower of London that will house a set of Christmas crackers priced at £1,299

Argggghh-fuck orf......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to trick an Iris scanner

And today’s thought:

London ain’t burning Olympics.

Angus

Cable car to nowhere: You Rodney!: Half a brain: Big clothes peg: "Schimpf-los": and a Big lollipop.

Stonking amounts of lack of temperature at the Castle this morn, even the liquid metal gauge is wilting, and as I sit here naked on the sofa his Maj is giving me strange looks...

Just got back from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco and tried to purchase some go juice on the way out, of twenty pumps only eight were working, two of those were out of unleaded and they have started charging lots of loot for air and water at the tyre thingy.

Up in the Smoke and up in the air

It seems that the £44 million Emirates Air Line cable car doo-dah over the Thames didn’t like the “Summer” weather and decided to go on strike leaving more than 60 passengers, including young children, the elderly and tourists, suspended in mid-air after Britain's first urban cable car system broke down in the midday sun.

After 40 long minutes hanging about some passengers refused to board again amid fears another incident could occur, others demanded a refund for their £16 entry fee.

While some workers claimed a key generator had overheated, apologetic officials said the earlier inquiries suggested the “technical fault” was down to a faulty sensor, Transport for London launched an investigation to establish what caused the fault but denied witness claims that it had broken down because of the heat.

Wonder if it will work when it gets cold-on Friday.....

Dahn in Warm pasty land

An underage drinker was made to look a plonker as he tried to get into a pub using fake ID… under the name of Only Fools And Horses chump Rodney Trotter.

Doormen got suspicious when they saw the address on the novelty driving licence was 23 Nelson Mandela House, Peckham, and it had his date of birth as 1960.

Then they noticed the picture was of actor Nicholas Lyndhurst, who played Rodders in the TV comedy.

The pub boss in Newquay, Cornwall, said yesterday: “I haven’t seen a celebrity ID used like that.

"We put it through the scanner as a joke… then confiscated it.”

The town is plagued by teen boozers and ID scanners were brought in at bars.

“Rodney” fled before police arrived but Insp Ian Drummond-Smith said the fake ID could have got him jailed.

He said: “A forged licence can get you two years. People should think very hard about the consequences.”

 

Should have gorn to Tesco...

The Right Brain vs Left Brain

Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images

Present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

Clockwise for me-always knew I only had half a brain....

Right a bit to the place above France

Built for the Festival of the Five Seasons in Chaudfontaine Park, which lies on the outskirts of Liege, Belgium, a giant clothespin sculpture appears to be holding on to a mound of dirt and grass.

Designed by Turkish artist Mehmet Ali Uysal, a professor of art at the Middle East Technical University, the giant sculpture is just one piece in a string of Uysal works that rely on flawless illusion.

What the bleedin hell is “illusionary” about a great big lump of wood?

Right a smidge

Two German entrepreneurs have devised a way for passive-aggressive citizens to blow off some steam - dial a telephone number and give the person on the other end a verbal lashing.

The swearing hotline, known as "Schimpf-los" ("swear away") in German, has operators standing by seven days a week for frustrated individuals to jeer at and taunt using the most unsavoury language they can muster

The service costs 1.49 Euros per minute - a figure Schulte feels is completely justified. "For getting everything off your chest, it's a bargain."

Don’t need it-I’ve got a blog-but the number is in the pic if you feel the need....

 

And finally:

 

Left over the warm salty thing

A confectionery company in the US created the world's largest lollipop.

The massive 7,000-pound chocolate lolly, made by Sees Candies, has been on display at Justin Herman Plaza in San Francisco.

The sweet feat was certified by Guinness World Records' adjudicator Amanda Mochan and it beats the previous largest sweet, which was held by Ashrita Furman for a 6,514 pound effort.

Just a normal bit of “candy” for some then.....

That’s it: I’m orf to find some dark matter and exotic antimatter

And today’s thought:

Now, where is U-Turn Cam sitting Olympics#2?

Angus

Nice one ‘Gov’: The art of “Lords”: Cheesy goodness: Rondon Blidge has just gorn up: Pools and cons in Athens: and living the double entendre.

Dawn’s crack was nice and clear at the Castle this morn, it is a mere 88f in the master bedroom and a ‘cool’ 76f dahn in the kitchen and as I sit here wearing my new shorts a nice cool breeze is caressing my knees.

His Maj has buggered orf to find somewhere cool in the garden and since having the furnace “serviced” a few days ago I have no hot water.

And Blogger is doing strange things to my ramblings...

Up in the Smoke

It seems that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has finally gorn and done it- Britain is in its longest double-dip recession for more than 50 years, according to official figures expected today.

Analysts believe gross domestic product (GDP) shrunk by about 0.2 per cent between April and June, its third consecutive three-month period of contraction. That would be the longest double-dip recession since quarterly records began in 1955 and is believed to be the worst since the Second World War. The last, in the 1970s, lasted only two quarters. 

Son of a .......Baronet and alien reptile in disguise George (what recession) Osborne defended the figures and is expected to point to Britain's low borrowing costs and to argue that the eurozone crisis is harming growth prospects in the UK.

The fact that the person in the street doesn’t have any money and is unable to buy things thus keeping “manufacturing” in the Gov rear exit seems to have completely missed what passes for a brain of the Bullingdon Bum Boy...

In the upper bit of the leaning tower of Westminster

As the unemployed exist on less than £70 per week Peers spent tens of thousands of pounds-worth of taxpayers’ money last year on paintings and other art despite the public spending squeeze.

Figures disclosed by Lords’ authorities’ show that in 2011/12 the House of Lords Works of Art Collection Fund spent nearly £175,000 on paintings and statues.

The amount spent is a 10-fold increase on the year before when just £18,000 was spent on works of art

The haul for 2011/12 included a £7,500 portrait of Viscountess Rhondda, by Alice Mary Burton, and a £25,200 House of Lords silver centrepiece by Brett Payne.

The Collection also spent £8,500 on a bust of Prince Philip, and a £5,000 watercolour by Robert Weir Allan of Queen Victoria’s Jubilee Procession on Whitehall.

The largest sum - £108,000 - went on new art bought especially for new peers’ offices at Millbank House in Westminster.

The collection has more than 8,000 works of art – of which 20 per cent are not on display throughout the House of Lords.

The earliest pieces in the collection date from the medieval age, with “major holdings dating from the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries” as well as some modern art.

A spokesman for the Lords said: "“The House of Lords works of art budget for purchases has been halved from £50,000 in 2010/11 to £25,000 in 2011/12. There will be no grant in 2012/13.

“In September 2011 the House of Lords opened a large new office block in Milbank House. A separate grant of £135,000 was provided to purchase works of art for the new building.

I see we are still “all in this together”....




According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition

Scientists say the chances of developing type two diabetes could be 12 per cent lower for those who love cheeses.

Although high in saturated fat, it may be rich in types of the fat that could be good for the body, they believe.
The findings on the effect of cheese, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, come from one of the largest ever studies to look at the role of diet in health.

One reason why cheese lovers may be at less risk of diabetes could be that the fermentation process triggers some kind of reaction that protects against diabetes and heart problems, the researchers said.



Two snags:
 1. The charity Diabetes UK warned against eating more cheese until the results were confirmed in other studies.

Dr Iain Frame, director of research, said: “It is too simplistic to concentrate on individual foods.

“We recommend a healthy balanced diet, rich in fruit and vegetables and low in salt and fat.

2. And I can’t afford to buy cheese anymore anyway....

East to the land of one child families

At about 200 miles northwest of Shanghai, in China’s Jiangsu province, London’s Tower Bridge was added to the replica collection of famous landscapes from around the world.

This collection includes even the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Alexandre III Bridge.

In addition to these famous structures, there’s a Dutch-like town in the area, complete with windmills and Dutch-style houses.

Often called as the “Venice of the East,” Suzhou is like a second home to China’s Venetian tourists.

Even the “English-style coffee” that everyone loves so much is available at the café at the top of the Tower Bridge.

The only thing that the Chinese Tower Bridge is missing is the raising mechanism to let boats pass by. Otherwise, it looks almost identical to the original one.

Ronderful...

West a fair way to the place where the Olympics started

Allegedly Greece's largest maximum security prison won't get to keep its waterfall-adorned, barbecue-equipped pool.

The Justice Ministry on Tuesday ordered the destruction of a 7.4-meter (24-foot) long pool in the yard of Korydallos prison's psychiatric wing, saying the structure was built without permission and did not comply with health and safety standards.

The pool's existence at the jail near Athens was reported by a newspaper Sunday. The ministry said the structure, reportedly built last year, includes a small rock waterfall and a poolside barbecue installation.

Greece's Prison Officers Association said the pool was built using money the group raised and was restricted to staff and inmates at the psychiatric wing. Korydallos houses some 2,300 inmates, with about 300 receiving some form of psychiatric care.

Overcrowding at Greek prisons has worsened since the start of the country's major financial crisis in late 2009, according to the Justice Ministry and the prison officers association, due to a spike in violent crime and prosecutions for tax-related offenses.

Ah; the old Elfandsafety no pool ploy....

 

And finally:


All across our hot and sweaty land there lurks a veritable volume of naughty names.

We have:

Beaver Close, Surrey

Bell End, Worcestershire

Rimswell, East Riding of Yorkshire

Felch Square, Powys

Fine Bush Lane, Ruislip

Minge Lane, Worcestershire

Dick Court, Lanarkshire

Slag Lane, Merseyside

Hole of Horcum, North York Moor

Cockshoot Close, Oxfordshire

Spanker Lane, Nether Heage

Funbag Drive, Watford

Fanny Avenue, Derbyshire

Shitterton, Dorset

Lickfold, West Sussex

Ladygate Lane, Ruislip

Twatt - there's two! One in Shetland and another in Orkney

Cocks, Cornwall

Cockermouth, Cumbria

Fanny Hands Lane, Lincolnshire

Friars' Entry, Oxfordshire

Fingringhoe, Essex

Crotch Crescent, Oxfordshire

Cumming Court, Gloucestershire 

And my personal favourite: 

Butt Hole Road, South Yorkshire

Don’t you just love Blighty...

That’s it: I’m orf to check out Afghanistan-not for the oil or gas of course

And today’s thought:

Olympic dairy farm

Angus