No aid for U-Turn Cam: Big ball for Armageddon: How to assault your TV: Great wall Wallies: and Thames town.

Quite a lot of solar activity, not a jot of atmospheric movement and a dribble of lack of cold stuff at the Castle this morn, I am hoping to do a bit of vandalism on the garden and try to stop his Maj from kidnapping frogs.

And the interweb thingy seems to have gorn tits up-again.

Up in the place where the big sporty thing is going on

U-Turn Cam fielded a pre-recorded question from an emotional cancer patient who demanded an explanation for why the UK's spends £11bn a year on international when the cost of treatment could not be met by her local authority.

The caller, whose name was given as Anna from Finchley, told shit for brains Dave that her local health authority is "begging charities for money" in order to pay for the drugs she requires.

According to knob head Cameron “One thing we've done over the last couple of years is invest in vaccines and immunisations for children in the poorest countries in the world.”

"That act alone has probably saved the lives of about 3million children.”

"We are having a tough time at the moment but we must keep promises to the poorest countries in the world."

The Prime Monster then said that health service funding had been increased and initiatives to help cancer sufferers afford new treatments had been put in place.

And like all the other piss poor policies it’s not working is it....

Eat to the land where most of the gold gongs are going

To cope with the expected Armageddon Chinese inventor Yang Zongfu has built himself a 13ft diameter spherical Ark complete with room for three people a year's worth of food and water, three weeks worth of oxygen when sealed, and 75 airbags.

To test his gyroscopic savior sphere — which took two years and $1.5 million Yuan (approximately $236,000) — the inventor claims he slammed it with motor vehicles at speeds of 60 miles per hour (the would-be wasteland warriors inside barely noticed, he says).

And then he boarded Noah's Ark and launched himself down a 164-foot slope emerging triumphant and unharmed, his mouth bloody from a "seatbelt cut."

 

What a load of old spherical dangly bits....

West to the land where a gallon isn’t

Seth Horvitz ordered a nice new TV, a Westinghouse 39-inch LCD, for about $320 from a third-party electronics seller on Amazon.

On Tuesday evening, a large, oblong box arrived at his doorstep via UPS Ground.

“When I saw some metal parts inside the box, I thought, ‘Maybe this is a TV stand or mount or something,’” Horvitz said in a phone interview with Wired.

“When I realized it was an assault rifle, it was pure shock and disbelief.”

Not being one to want a personal “shock and awe” arsenal of his own, Horvitz contacted the D.C. police. They immediately confiscated the box, which contained a semi-automatic Sig Sauer 716 patrol rifle. The police informed Horvitz that the gun was illegal in the District of Columbia.

More bang for your Bucks?

Back to the land of old stuff

A massive section of the centuries-old Great Wall of China has collapsed after bungling workmen in northern China dug up a city square in front of it.

Tons of bricks and rubble crashed down from the 100ft section of the ancient wall running through Zhangjiakou, in Hebei province, in the early hours of the morning.

Locals say the collapse happened after weeks of torrential rain combined with major road works in front of the wall's foundations.

"There is an investigation into the causes of the collapse. A number of things may have contributed, including the building work," said one city official.

"But we have a conservation and rebuilding plan and it is already underway," they added.

Good job it wasn’t a new one....

And finally:

Still in the place where copies are king

Thames Town, in Shanghai, is a replica of small English town complete with everything you might expect, except the people.

The buildings of Thames Town copy the real ones in England so closely that complaints have been filed by English pub owners, and this genuine British look was exactly what was supposed to draw people to this place.

Only, like many other ambitious and expensive Chinese projects, Thames Town failed to impress a lot of people and is now virtually a ghost town in Shanghai, the city that drive’s China’s economy.

Located near the last stop of Line 9, Thames Town opened its gates in 2006, as part of Shanghai’s One City Nine Towns project, as a satellite settlement designed to house around 10,000 people in low-rise apartments and classic English houses. As the name suggests, it was supposed to be a piece of London right in China, complete with cobbled streets, red telephone booths, street names like Oxford or Queen, a Gothic cathedral, and of course, a fake Thames river.

Thames Town really looks English, but with all the money invested in marketing, the place never really took off. Except for a handful of people who actually live there and the visitors who come to take their picture taken with the English surroundings, Thames Town is a ghost town.
After Shanghai Hengde priced the villas and houses at between $600,000 and $750,000 for 307 – 377 square meters, there weren’t very many takers. Apartments are a little cheaper, but at $750.

That’s nearly as expensive as the real thing…

That’s it: I’m orf to catch some smog

And today’s thought:

Too much information Olympics

 

Angus

Flight of fancy: How to make a star: Musical note: Mars Mountain: Polly vs. Kiddlies: and where not to leave your motor.

Usual atmospheric conditions at the Castle this morn-wet, cold, calm and crappy,  the garden is in need of more than a smidge of fettling, I am thinking of putting outriggers on the Honda and his Maj is still bringing me frogs.

 

Dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire

And just a couple of imperial units up the road aviation enthusiasts have launched a campaign to erect a statue in memory of the first person to make a powered flight in Britain.

Farnborough Air Sciences Trust (FAST) (which used to be the Royal Aircraft Establishment before “someone” sold it orf) hopes to unveil the memorial to Samuel Cody in Farnborough, Hampshire, where his historic flight took place.

Cody died 99 years ago when the aircraft he was flying broke in half.

FAST plans to unveil a £100,000 statue on the centenary of his death next year and are fundraising to pay for it.

The group have already secured £10,000 from Hampshire County Council and Rushmoor Borough Council. 

Really pleased to see that my bleedin Council Tax is going towards such a good cause.

If you want to know more about the place where I was an apprentice way back in 1967 click HERE.

Recipe for a star

1. Take a hollow, spherical plastic capsule about two millimetres in diameter (about the size of a small pea.)

 2. Fill it with 150 micrograms (less than one-millionth of a pound) of a mixture of deuterium and tritium, the two heavy isotopes of hydrogen.

 3. Take a laser that for about 20 billionths of a second can generate 500 trillion watts – the equivalent of five million, million watts. 

4. Focus all that laser power onto the surface of the capsule.

 5. Wait ten billionths of a second.


Result: one miniature star.

Luckily this technology is available at the National Ignition Facility more than a lot over to the left in Livermore California where Leccy is a lot cheaper than here in Blighty.

East oodles of do-dahs to the land which has never been irradiated

The Otamatone DX, a new electronic instrument from Japan, is becoming quite a hit on the Internet. Shaped like a musical note, it can be played easily by anybody.

It’s as simple as this: Just slide your finger up and down the stem and squeeze its cheek to produce your own music!

I can do the same thing with my arse.....

Millions and millions of space units away

And billions and billions of dollars later NASA's Mars Rover Curiosity has beamed back an image of its surroundings, showing a clear view of the enormous mountain that it will clamber up in the next few years.

Mount Sharp is a giant Martian peak that rises 3 miles (5 kilometres) from the centre of Gale Crater. The mountain's many geological layers are particularly intriguing to mission scientists, as they could hold a record of how the Red Planet has changed over time.

In the newly released image, Mount Sharp is clearly visible in the background.

  

Worth every penny....

According to scientists

African grey parrots are smarter than your average two-year-old; apparently researchers claim to have found that human children only do as well as the parrots from about the age of three.

No other animals apart from great apes match the birds' ability to understand noise-related causal connections.

Researchers tested six African greys housed in a parrot rescue centre in Vienna, Austria.

During a series of experiments, the birds were asked to choose between two closed boxes, one of which held a piece of walnut and rattled when shaken. The other, empty container could be shaken without making a noise.

The parrots showed they knew how to detect hidden food rattling in a shaken box.

But much more impressively they also worked out - almost instantly - that if a box was shaken and made no noise, the food must be in the other container.

Choices were made by a parrot walking over to a box and turning it over with its beak.

In similar tests, most animals - and even small children - get confused about the way shaking and noise relate to the presence or absence of a hidden reward.

I know some seventeen year olds that are still not as smart as a Parrot....

And finally:

Where to park you motor if you don’t want it back

That’s it: I’m orf to give the sheep text messaging

And today’s thought:

Unemployable get free tickets-Olympics.

Angus

Contemporary justice: blow up sleeping policeman: the magic log: Weymouth wanker: and a rodent in a manhole.

Vast amounts of lack of warm stuff, oodles of wet stuff and quite a lot of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, but not as bad as yester-aftermorn when lakefuls of skywater descended for several hours accompanied by big noisy bangs and mega kilowatts of free Leccy.

His Maj was out at the time hunting for frogs and came in looking like an exploded ken Dodd.

Somewhere in backward Blighty

A graduate who likened being asked to stack shelves in Poundland through a Government employment scheme to slave labour is not living in the modern world, a senior judge ruled.

Mr Justice Foskett expressed incredulity at an attempt to use human rights laws designed to combat “colonial” exploitation to challenge a Government back-to-work initiative.

He said arguments advanced on behalf of Cait Reilly, an unemployed geology graduate, were a “long way from contemporary thinking”.

The judge was speaking as he dismissed a legal challenge to two key employment schemes involving unpaid work on behalf of Miss Reilly and Jamieson Wilson, an unemployed HGV driver from Nottingham.

The irritable bowel twins Iain Duncan Smith, the work and pensions secretary, welcomed the judgment and accused those who campaigned against the schemes as being “opposed to hard work”.

I’m in two minds about this-

The Government back-to-work initiative is a good idea

-oh no it isn’t

-oh yes it is

-how can you say that unemployed people working for nothing is acceptable in the twenty first century?

Because it gives then some idea of what it is like to work and begins to form a “work ethic” in their lives.

But doesn’t it take advantage of the unemployed?

No, they are still paid their piss poor benefits but it puts them into the workplace with the very slim chance of a permanent job.

But wouldn’t the money be better spent on training?

Yes; maybe they should change the name of the scheme to “get orf your overeducated arse and sort your lives out initiative”

But what about those who have no qualifications?

They could be on the “stop watching daytime TV and emigrate to somewhere warmer initiative”

My brain hurts-Must take a tablet.....

East more than oodles to the land which has many, many athletes

In order to stop speeding motorists a fed-up pensioner has bought a blow up doll and dressed it in sexy red lingerie so motorists would slow down to take a look.

An accident black spot has had the number of crashes reduced after a blow-up sex doll was tied to a tree in a bid to slow drivers down.

The 67-year-old purchased the inflatable sex toy and added a few slinky additions to ensure it caught the attention of drivers.

"There are a set of traffic lights near my house and the cars just shoot through them as fast as they can," explained Chen.

"It's very dangerous.

"The police aren't interested so I bought this doll and tied it to the tree.

"I thought that drivers would slow down if I could give them something worth looking it."

Police admit that accident figures have dropped since Chen started to make a dummy of the speeding drivers.

Surprised she has the puff at 67....

Still in the Eastern part of the world

A 13-meter (42-foot) log has been the main attraction in Cambodia’s Pursat province for a couple of days now.

According to village chief Hun Nov “They believe the log has magical powers, about 100 people come every day to visit the log to ask for lottery numbers or to cure their sickness”

Visitors even bring offerings such as pig’s heads or whole boiled chickens.

The log first made news after several locals had touched it and won the lottery.


Probably better odds than our lucky dip….

Back in barmy Blighty

And dahn to the place where little plastic things float about powered by atmospheric movement acting on big bits of nylon.

Fire-fighters say they saved a flat from destruction after its domestically challenged resident tried to dry his wet socks and underwear in a microwave oven.

The Dorset Fire and Rescue Service said fire-fighters rescued the man from his home and extinguished the kitchen blaze Monday.

The fire destroyed the appliance along with the two pairs of underwear and socks inside it, and caused smoke damage to the apartment in Weymouth, a town on England's southwest coast.

"The fire safety message here is to never put clothing of any kind in the microwave or an oven to attempt to dry them," the Dorset fire-fighters said in a statement.

I do appreciate a proper Numpty...



And finally:

Right a smidge to the land of BMW boxes

Police in northern Germany used olive oil to free an animal trapped in a manhole cover.

Police spokeswoman Kathrin Feyerabend said Monday a woman on the outskirts of Hannover discovered the red squirrel Sunday after hearing its cries.,

Its head was poking up above ground through a hole in a manhole cover, its body dangling beneath.

After unsuccessfully trying to push the head back through gently, police officers removed the cover and rubbed olive oil around the squirrel's neck.

Holding back its small tufted ears, they were able to successfully release it.

But Feyerabend says the happy ending was short lived - the squirrel died several hours later, likely from stress.

A red squirrel up your manhole-no wonder it died….



That’s it: I’m orf to buy a “proper” book.

And today’s thought:

Soon to be unemployed get free tickets-Olympics

Angus

Pay up-and up-and up....: Royal fail gets Bronze: Avez-vous le ‘ump: Signs of the w-anchor Dahn Unda: Dead Possums mean prizes: and you say banana or is it Boa?

A drop of solar stuff, not a sign of wet stuff and more than a bit of lack of cold stuff at the Castle this last of the summer wine morn.

Finally managed to drive dahn to the “recycling centre”, unloaded the Honda, made it back to the Castle and spent the rest of the day ‘resting’ on the four-poster watching some of the sporty thing up in the Smoke and catching up on some kip.

Just got back from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, his fave Whiskas meat in jelly has gorn up from three squids to three squids and 39p’s-robbing bastards...

All over excited Blighty

Allegedly the Student Loans Company (SLC) has taken a lesson from the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition math prowess and managed to take tens of millions of pounds extra from graduates.

Tens of thousands of people have been advised to apply for refunds from the Student Loans Company (SLC) after it emerged that the firm had collected an additional £36.5m from them in 2010-11 alone.

More than 63,000 former students carried on repaying from their salary, often for months, after they had paid off loans taken out to fund university education.

The average amount overpaid was £577, although several graduates claim they paid out several thousand pounds more than they owed.

And of course it is “someone else’s fault”.

According to the SLC the problem is caused because HMRC only tells it how much has been paid by each borrower once a year, usually a few weeks after the financial year ends in April. The time lag means graduates who settled their loans during the year may not have their direct payments stopped until several months later, when the SLC has received confirmation of how much they have paid.

Wankers....

And staying with the tosspot theme

The Royal Mail has promised to paint a post box in Olympic cycle champion Laura Trott's home town gold, after first painting one in the wrong place.

Trott, with cyclists Dani King and Joanna Rowsell, won a gold medal in the Olympic team pursuit contest.

The Royal Mail decided to paint a post box in Harlow, where Trott was born.

But after Trott tweeted that her hometown is Cheshunt, Herts, the firm said it would paint one there also. 

All the employees of the Royal Fail have to be able to do one thing-read, and they can’t even do that properly, still maybe things will improve once it becomes privatised....

Across the Channel and in the Smoke

It seems that Le French are not chuffed with Blighty’s doings at the big sporty thing.

France’s cycling chief, Isabelle Gautheron, said she is ‘perplexed’ by the dominance in the Velodrome by the likes of Victoria Pendleton and Sir Chris Hoy.

And journalists across the Channel have cast aspersions over what they might be ‘missing’ that has propelled British athletes to triumph.

Last week French president Françoise Hollande taunted Britain over his country’s early success before Team GB’s first gold, saying London had ‘rolled out a red carpet for French athletes to win medals’.

But after the tide turned, Ms Gautheron said of British cyclists: ‘They have not dominated the last four years – they were among the best teams with Australia, Germany and France. Here, they crush everyone. Girls, especially, are four seconds ahead in the pursuit.

Ouest France journalist Thierry Vautrat posted on Twitter: ‘Ennis? She’s a bit unreal. Wonder how she could win the 800m so easily, with no pain. Surprising.’

 

Oh dear what a shame-Na-na-na-na-na....

Dahn Unda

Three giant billboards used in a road safety campaign have apparently caused offence, informing Australian motorists 'not to drive like a knob/ w-anchor or a cock'.

The signs, placed prominently on a motorway running between South Australia and Victoria, have attracted a host of complaints from residents.

It prompted independent MP Bob Such to write a letter to road safety minister Jennifer Rankine, on behalf of his constituency, calling for their removal.

However the removal demand has been rejected by South Australia officials, with Ms Rankine arguing that the results of the campaign 'vastly outweigh it being labelled as irresponsible'.

The campaign has shown encouraging results, with a reported reduction in drink driving, speeding and seatbelt non-compliance.

Apart from the wankers, knobs and cocks of course....

Still Dahn Unda and right a bit

Kids at the Uruti School in New Zealand hosted an annual fundraising pig hunt which is a bit odd, but as part of the pig hunt festivities students participated in a contest that involved dressing dead possums in bizarre costumes -- including, a boxing possum, an artist possum, and a dead-possum bride.

While New Zealand’s Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals were not amused, the school raised over $8,000 -- twice what it had hoped to bring in. 

And the Barby went down like a dead possum….

And finally: 

Back in sporty Blighty

A woman was left shocked when she discovered that what she thought was a banana in her bathroom was actually a 4ft long boa constrictor.

Stacey Way, 28, was cleaning the bathroom floor when she noticed a yellow object next to the water pipe.

She assumed it was a banana her toddler had shoved down the side, and went to fetch her gloves to pick it up, but forgot about it.

A few days later she was bathing her two daughters and wiped the floor again when she suddenly saw the object move.

On closer inspection, she realised that the 'banana' actually had a mouth - and that it was a snake.

She went to a nearby reptile centre to ask for help but they were forced to call the RSPCA, who told them the floorboards would need to be removed to rescue the beast.

But as the property was rented, the officer advised her to leave a tub full of water on the bathroom floor to entice the snake out.

When Stacey checked a few hours later the creature had fully emerged and the reptile centre were able to collect it from her home in Parkstone, Dorset.

Banana; Boa close…..

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look at virtual reality

And today’s thought:

It’s OK your prostate’s fine Olympics

Angus

Elfandsafety NHS: Gaucho Rivero: There’s an app for that: Solar Sanno: Whitburn shark: and Nessie’s back....

Normal “summer” wevver at the Castle this morn-damp, dark, dingy, decidedly dodgy and a dearth of warm stuff, finally managed to load up the Honda with oodles of stuff for the ‘recycling’ centre yestermorn, now I am too knackered to drive dahn there and unload it...

And it seems that “we” are not doing too badly at the sporty thing in the Smoke-thanks to the Ladies...

Up Norf

Manchester NHS Trust officials to stop the use of metal paperclips after a member of staff cut their finger using one.

In a memo to staff, it was warned that the use of metal fasteners was 'prohibited' and the offending clips must be 'carefully disposed of immediately'.

'Due to recent incidents, NHS Manchester has decided to immediately withdraw the use of metal paper fasteners,' explained the memo featuring an accompanying picture of a paper clip - just to avoid any confusion.

'Please ensure any that remain in use be replaced by similar plastic fasteners.

'The use of metal fasteners is prohibited and must be carefully disposed of immediately. Thank you for your co-operation.'

The clips have been banned from the city's GP surgeries, clinics and offices in favour of a plastic alternative.

Is it April 1^st?  So what are they going to do about scalpels, scissors, pens and needles?

Left a fair way and dahn more than a bit

Allegedly any vessel sailing under the British flag has been banned from “mooring, loading or carrying out logistical operations” in Buenos Aires ports.

The bill was brought forward by Patricia Cubría, a deputy belonging to President Cristina Kirchner’s Front for Victory coalition.

It was nicknamed ‘Gaucho Rivero’ after Antonio Rivero, nicknamed the ‘Gaucho’, an Argentine cowboy who led an uprising in the Falkland Islands against the British in 1833.

The law is designed to hinder British ships involved in oil exploration in waters belonging to the islands and will be seen as the latest in a series of provocations in the run up to the 30th anniversary of the Falklands War.

Last year the South American trading bloc Mercosur – which includes Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay – decided to shut its ports to ships flying the Falklands flag.

Didn’t intend to go to Sarf America anyway.....

East more than many miles to the land completely unaffected by radiation

A Japanese electronics company has unveiled a 4m super-robot that can be controlled by an iPhone.

Kuratas" is fitted with a futuristic weapons system, including a Gatling gun capable of shooting 6000 BB bullets a minute, which fires when the pilot in its one-man cockpit smiles.

The four-tonne robot is going on sale for a mere £900,000 ($1.35 million).

The robot can be operated either through a pilot, who mans the controls in a cockpit in its chest cavity, or remotely using the touch screen of any Smartphone connected to the 3G network.

It comes in 16 colours, including black and pink, and for an extra $90 they will sort you out with a cup holder.

Engineers Wataru Yoshizaki and Kogoro Kurata were saluted in front of Kuratas with their pilot, Anna, when they showcased the robot at the Wonder Festival in Chiba, suburban Tokyo yesterday.

The team has been working on the robot since 2010.

The robot's four-wheeled legs ensure that it is easy to transport and the pilot will be able to drive it at a top speed of just under 10km/h.

Wouldn’t want to dial a wrong number then.....

Still in the place where nothing glows in the dark

Sanno, a small village in Hyogo Prefecture, has gone “all solar” after installing 216 solar panels, supplying energy to about 11 households.

Only 42 people are said to be living in the area, and the average age is 60 years.

The solar panels were installed by Sanyo Engineering and Construction, using funds that the municipality has kept for several decades while Kansai Electric Power bought the electricity and provided the village with extra income. Through this renovation, the villagers hope to bring the costs for maintaining facilities down to zero by next year.

Cost effective old farts?

Back in Golden Blighty and up Norf

Fishermen have hauled in a porbeagle shark measuring seven feet in length off the coast at Whitburn.

The shark was already dead when it was caught in the fishing nets by the Star Devine boat.

Local fishmonger Robert Latimer heard about the catch and was immediately interested in bringing it in to his café at Latimer’s Seafood Deli.

"My only guess is the shark was hunting wild salmon and trout, which are migrating, to their home rivers at this time of the year.

“We are totally against discarding any fish – this shark was dead when it was hauled on board, or else we would not have taken it, as it should have been returned alive to the sea.”

Porbeagle sharks are an endangered species with catches dramatically declining over the last 30-40 years.

The shark has been attracting local tourists who have come to Latimer’s to take a peek at the unusual catch, and shark meat is also for sale.

Geordie grub?

And finally:

Even further up Norf

Nessie hunter George Edwards has waited 26 years for this sight, and he now believes he has the best picture ever taken of the Loch Ness monster.

He spends around 60 hours a week taking tourists out on his boat Nessie Hunter IV, and has led numerous Nessie hunts over the years. But this image has convinced him that there really is a monster - or monsters - out there.

It shows a mysterious dark hump moving in the water towards Urquhart Castle. After watching the object for five to ten minutes, Mr Edwards said it slowly sank below the surface and never resurfaced. 

Maybe Nessie is on the way to the Smoke to take part in the sporty thing going on dahn there.

That’s it: I’m orf to practise my quantum key distribution

And today’s thought:

Unemployed get free tickets Olympics

Angus

Share of the losses: Who is back: Invisible bikes: The Cat Tunnel Couch: Ready for the flood: and a Rat burglar.

A bit of solar action, no atmospheric movement and lots of ex skywater at the Castle this morn, I have been “having a clearout” and have accumulated more than a vast amount of stuff for the “recycling” centre, snag is I am now too knackered to load up the Honda and get rid of it.

Apparently RBS shareholders are not happy

Three core Cable wants to take over the 82% Blighty owned millstone but it seems that ‘top’ shareholders in RBS have complained to the Treasury over "dangerous" and "damaging" suggestions that the taxpayer-backer lender could be fully nationalised.

We are absolutely furious,” said one top five shareholder. “This notion is ludicrous and has to be squashed immediately. Or how can we expect Hester [Stephen Hester, chief executive of RBS] and Bruce [Vans Saun, finance director] to stay. It has to stop or the bank will be damaged.”

Angry investors are understood to have contacted UKFI, the body that manages the Government’s stakes in banks, to voice their frustration with the “flip flop” in the ownership strategy for RBS.

Here’s an idea-as in the “real world” why don’t the petulant Pillocks repay the billions of taxpayer’s money they have salted away and then they can do what they want with their bank?

He’s back!!!!

Doctor Who comes face to face with Daleks and dinosaurs in a trailer heralding the return of the BBC sci-fi show.

A scene from the first episode of series seven, Asylum of the Daleks, finds the Doctor standing before thousands of his old enemies. “You’ve got me. What are you waiting for? At long last, here I am,” he says.

The 90-second trailer will be broadcast tonight on BBC One.

It also features Arthur Darvill as Rory, Alex Kingston in a returning role as River Song and Rupert Graves as an Indiana Jones-style adventurer.

The trailer includes scenes from a western-themed episode, A Town Called Mercy.

Series seven begins later this month and will be followed by a Christmas special.

 

Oh goody.....

East to the land of Photoshop-or something like it

Chinese photographer Zhaohua Sen has found a new way to make his photographs a little more 'interesting' — invisible bikes.



Maybe he should just take snaps….

Up a bit to the land of dog’s bollocks

Comes the Cat Tunnel Couch designed by Korean designer Seungji Mun.

Spiffing, still it will give the kiddlies somewhere to hide when Dr Who is on.....

Left to the land of water, whacky baccy and whatsits

A Dutch millionaire has opened the doors of his full-size replica of Noah's Ark to the public.

Johan Huibers spent four years building the ark after dreaming his hometown would be destroyed by a flood of biblical proportions.

Using dimensions set out in the Book of Genesis, the 137m x 21m craft features its own 'Bible museum', complete with life-size plastic animals.

"We wanted to build something that can help explain the Bible in real terms," explained Mr Huibers.

"The wood is Swedish pine, because that's the closest we think to the 'resin wood' God ordered Noah to use in the Bible. The animals are plastic and come from the Philippines."

The project stems from a dream the 52-year-old had in 1992, in which his native Holland was flooded by the North Sea.

"The next day I bought a book about Noah's Ark," he said. "That night while sitting on the couch with my kids, I looked at it and said: "It's what we're going to do"."

Mr Huibers originally wanted to sail his ark, currently moored on the Merwede River, Dordrecht, to the London for the Olympic Games.

However he was forced to abandon that plan after Dutch authorities raised health and safety concerns about the proposed voyage.

 

Ah the old Elfandsafety no Arks ploy from McDonalds…..

And finally:

Dahn Unda

Melbourne resident Alan Ryan was taking photos in his garden of the lorikeets that come to feast from his bird feeder when a rat decided to do show his eligibility for Olympic-standard gymnastics.

Ryan said he started having problems with rats after the death of his cat, Ozzie, but he’s not the only one.

“The lorikeets don’t want the rats coming in; they’ll stand up to it.

”The rats are pretty vicious too so it’s a bit of a contest there.”

 

Time to get another pussy methinks....

That’s it: I’m orf to find out why Ladies live longer

And today’s thought:

Beach volleyball for dummies Olympics

Angus

Private nukes: I can’t believe it’s not Alzheimer's: the Art car museum: Indian rain dance: Whale of a pool: and illegal rain.

More than a lack of warm stuff, oodles of wet stuff and a whimsy of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, his Maj has the hump (again) because he has just had his flea/ticks and lice stuff and the smoke detector doo-dah decided to go orf at 1.10 of the am, after spending a while searching for the fire I went back to the four poster and it went orf again at 1.50. 2.35, 3.09 and 4.27, I hope they accept it as recycling as it is now in the blue bin....

Norf of the border

Allegedly the MoD has signed a 15-year contract with private contractors ABL Alliance to provide support for the Trident weapons system at HM Naval Base Clyde.

Under the new contract 149 MoD civilian posts will transfer to the alliance.

The jobs are in industrial and technical grades, warehousing and logistic support services, while supervisors and managers are also transferring.

Thirty-nine Royal Navy posts will also be seconded to the alliance, which comprises AWE plc, Babcock and Lockheed Martin UK Strategic Systems (LMUKSS).

The MoD said it decided in May 2011 that the most effective way to sustain the workforce in the future was to use an experienced supplier within the private sector.

The new arrangement is scheduled to start in January 2013, subject to the successful completion of a protection of employment consultation.

And my contribution to GCHQ-terrorist, nuclear bomb, al Qaeda, radiation and bye-bye.

West to the home of “movies” and the land of popcorn

According to ACS' journal Chemical Research in Toxicology chronic exposure of workers in industry to a food flavouring ingredient used to produce the distinctive buttery flavour and aroma of microwave popcorn, margarines, snack foods, candy, baked goods, pet foods and other products the ingredient, diacetyl (DA), intensifies the damaging effects of an abnormal brain protein linked to Alzheimer's disease.

Robert Vince and colleagues Swati More and Ashish Vartak explain that DA has been the focus of much research recently because it is linked to respiratory and other problems in workers at microwave popcorn and food-flavouring factories. DA gives microwave popcorn its distinctive buttery taste and aroma. DA also forms naturally in fermented beverages such as beer, and gives some chardonnay wines a buttery taste.

Now why did I sit in front of this computer.....

Still in the place where the automobile is king

Comes the art car movement, which instead of a nice wash, polish and valet these artists armed with paint, glue, objects, and whatever else will stay stuck on a car that still needs to drive, the creators go to work.

Among the art car creations a favorite style is where one particular thing has been glued on the entirety of the car exterior such as cameras, corks, cd's, trophies and so on.

In Houston this art car culture is a deep part of the city. Growing out of a long Houston tradition of outsider art, in 1986, 11 art cars were exhibited alongside the Fruitmobile (the 'first' of the Houston art cars, made to be auctioned) at The Orange Show. By April, 1988 the Houston art car culture and art car parade was in full swing with the first official art car parade in the U.S. took place with a 40 car parade and was seen by over two thousand onlookers.

Among the “best” cars in the museum are Rex Rabbit a giant rabbit shaped car clutching a basket of eggs, Faith by David Best complete with water buffalo head in place of longhorns, and the giant roach shaped "Roachster."

My brain hurts....

East many, many, many miles to the land of no Leccy

Bangalore, the capital city of the Indian state Karnataka, is experiencing its worst drought in 42 years. Large parts of north and central Karnataka have recorded an almost 27 percent decline in rainfall.

So the local Gov has asked all 34,000 temples in the state to conduct special rituals for rain, priced at about 5,000 Indian rupees (Rs.) each, the pujas will cost 170 million rupees (Rs. 17 crore, or nearly US$3.07 million) in total.

The state’s endowments ministry released the orders. Minister K.S. Poojari clarified that the money is to fund the rituals — to propitiate the rain gods.

Churches and mosques in the area were also asked to hold special prayers for rain. The BJP government of Jagadish Shettar requested that the prayers be conducted on July 27 and August 7.

Nice to see the sub continent has left the sixteenth century and finally entered the seventeenth.

 

Dahn Unda

The dead body of an 11m-long whale has been discovered in an open-air swimming pool in Australia.

Early morning swimmers discovered the humpback whale, which had been washed into the ocean pool in Sydney by heavy seas.

The 30-tonne young adult mammal was washed up at Newport Beach ending up in the man-made swimming baths which are filled with sea water.

The beach has now been closed due to the risk of sharks being attracted to the area by the rotting carcass.

The authorities are now deciding how best to remove the whale.

 Need a lot of chips for that....

And finally:

Back to the place where men are men and water is illegal

Gary Harrington, an Oregon man, will be spending a month in jail, after being convicted on nine misdemeanor charges. His crime is “Illegally” collecting rain water on his own property.

Harrington, who lives in Eagle Point, Oregon, has been fighting for the right to collect rain water since 2002.

Now a decade later, he has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and fined over $1,500 for the man-made ponds he has built on his 170 acres of land. For filling “three illegal reservoirs” on his property with runoff water, Harrington has been convicted on nine misdemeanor charges in Circuit Court.

According to authorities, Harrington broke the law by collecting natural rain water and snow runoff that landed on his property. Harrington said he stores the water mainly for fire protection.

According to officials with the Medford Water Commission, the water on Harrington’s property, whether it came from the sky or not, is considered a tributary of the nearby Crowfoot Creek. Thus it is subject to a 1925 law, giving Medford Water Commission full ownership and rights to the water.

Let’s hope they don’t hear about the moat then.....

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look for some giant damselflies

And today’s thought:

No wonder we are doing so well Olympics.

Angus