The Circle of donations: Corrupt coppers: Royal Mail fails for two decades: The Asgarda of Ukraine: Cheap as cheese: and a really, really grumpy pussy.

Oodles of lack of warm stuff, overwhelming amounts of solar stuff, only a whimsy of atmospheric movement and not one drop of wet stuff at the Castle this morn.

Orf out tomorrow so no post, going dahn to Beaulieu with some mates to have a drool at the motors and a nice pub lunch by the seaside.

 

According to the Mirror

 

The Tory Party has raked in more than £1million in donations from City executives set to make a fortune from its plans to privatise large swathes of the NHS.

We can today reveal fat cat shareholders in the company Circle Health – the first private firm to take over an NHS hospital – have given the Conservatives over £1.4million.

Our research also shows that overall David Cameron’s party has been given more than £10million from those with links to private health.

Labour yesterday said the donations, made since 2001, lifted the lid on the cosy relationship.

And it accused the Tories of “carving up” the NHS for their wealthy chums in big business.

The revelations come days after new Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt shortlisted Circle Health’s spin chief Christina Linnet to be his new media boss.

She previously worked for former Conservative Health Secretary Andrew Lansley before the Tories came to power.

Official records also show Tory MP Mark Simmonds is paid £50,000 a year by Circle for 10 hours’ work a month.

The links between private health companies and the Conservative Party became a matter of public debate after Circle was last year handed a 10-year contract worth £1.2billion to take over the failing Hinchingbrooke hospital in Cambridgeshire.

Its directors think the contract is the first of many – and have set out business plans to clinch NHS bids worth more than £8billion

 

Bye, bye NHS...

 

And all across the Smoke

Allegedly nearly 50 Metropolitan Police officers have been suspended for corruption in three years, of the 258 officers suspended for offences also including sexual assault, neglect and assault, 38% of cases were proven and 11% of officers were sacked.

The officers were paid about £3.6m during their suspensions.

The figures, released under the Freedom of Information Act, show the number of officers suspended on full pay for three years between 2009-11.

Nearly half of those suspended were special constables, who are unpaid.

Although the specifics of each case have not been revealed, the Met said some instances of corruption included handling stolen goods and fraudulent overtime claims.

PC Simon Harwood was recently sacked for gross misconduct after he was found guilty of breeching standards in connection with Ian Tomlinson's death at the G20 protests.

He was initially suspended from duty in 2011.

Others suspended include: Gareth Beard who was found guilty of fraud; Philip Juhasz who was sacked for racially abusing the manager of a snack kiosk at King's Cross railway station; Det Con Daren Pooley who was jailed for defrauding the force after he overcharged for rented apartments, and David Price who was found guilty of growing cannabis.

The BBC has also obtained figures which show 372 police staff were suspended between 2009-2011.

 

Makes you proud, doesn’t it?

 

Up Norf to Blighty’s second city

Postmen failed to collect letters from a post-box at one of the country’s busiest railway stations for 23 years.

Builders working on the renovation of Birmingham New Street Station found the dusty letters dating back to 1989 when they removed the box last week.

The box was sealed earlier this year after rail commuters complained that they caught their fingers in the narrow flap. An “out of action” sign was hung across it.

Workers say they cannot understand how the letters escaped the notice of postmen. The box was in full view of thousands of travellers for more than two decades.

One postal worker said: “We didn’t know it was there, to be honest.

 

The stamp of Royal Fail

 

 East to the land of...something

In the Ukraine, a country where females are victims of sexual trafficking and gender oppression, a new tribe of empowered women is emerging. Calling themselves the “Asgarda”, the women seek complete autonomy from men.

Residing in the Carpathian Mountains, the tribe is comprised of 150 women of varying ages, primarily students, led by 30 year-old Katerina Tarnouska. Reviving the tribal traditions of the Scythian Amazons of ancient Greek mythology, the Asgarda train in martial arts, taught by former Soviet karate master, Volodymyr Stepanovytch, and learn life skills and sciences in order to become ideal women.

Little physical documentation existed on the tribe, until recently, when renowned French photographer, Guillaume Herbaut, met the Asgarda back in 2004 in the midst of the Orange Revolution.

 

But can they cook a roast dinner....

 

West more than a lot and up a bit

 

A Canadian police officer was among three people charged as the country's authorities announced they had busted a major cheese-smuggling ring.

A joint US-Canadian investigation found C$200,000 (£125,600) of cheese and other products were illicitly brought over the border into southern Ontario.

The smugglers sold large quantities of cheese, which is cheaper in the US, to restaurants, it is alleged.

The other two men charged were civilians, one a former police officer.

In their statement, Niagara police said an investigation had been ongoing since January 2012. Mr Heron was suspended from the police force in June.

"The network involved the purchasing of cases of cheese and other food items and transporting these cases into Canada, without declaring the items or paying duty," police said.

Once the cases arrived in the country, they were distributed to restaurants in southern Ontario.

The accused allegedly made a profit of over C$165,000.

 

Not surprised, seen the price of cheese? Especially dahn Tesco.

 

And finally:

 

Dahn a smidge to the home of pussy and the land of unhappy

 

 A cat named Tardar Sauce, or ‘Tard’ for short, has become internet-famous for its astoundingly grumpy face.

According to Knowyourmeme.com, Tardar Sauce, now known as Grumpy Cat, rose to internet fame after his photo was uploaded to social networking sites Facebook and Reddit.

Within the first 48 hours of its image being uploaded, the cat was up voted more than 25,300 times on Reddit, and the pictures were viewed more than a million times on Imgur.

Tardar Sauce's favourite foods are mice and tuna.

 

Bless...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to try out Bi-Fi

 

And today’s thought:

 

 Oh yes it is...

 

Angus

Driver error: We give Jezza squillions: Bank wankers: Sofa sex: The Autographer: and‘t’ Bodyboarder.

Colossal amounts of lack of warm, cartfuls of non atmospheric movement, cheerless lack of solar activity and not even a cupful of skywater at the Castle this morn.

 And a few more “old” jokes for your perusal. 

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis."


‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
‘Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take any fibre today.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’IS WHEN…
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

  

According to the Dept of Transport

Most accidents on Britain's roads last year were the driver's fault, four of the five most commonly reported reasons for a crash involved driver or rider error or reaction, and "Failed to look properly" was the biggest reason of all, reported in 42% of all accidents.

Yet another waste of paper from the University of the bleedin obvious.

 

And it seems that we License fee payers

Are about to cough up around £15 million to Jeremy (I can’t afford to go to the dentist) Clarkson and £10 million to Andy (I might retire now) Wilman.

Auntie’s commercial arm, BBC Worldwide, has bought the Top Gear host out of Bedder 6, the controversial joint venture company they set up together in 2007, as part of a clamp down on complicated accounting practices designed to bolster star pay.

BBC Worldwide established Bedder 6 with Mr Clarkson and Top Gear’s producer, Andy Wilman, as a way of boosting their income without taking the money directly from the BBC licence fee.

However, in a signal that the BBC’s new director general, George Entwistle, has had enough of this sort of arrangement, the corporation has now unravelled the deal.

BBC Worldwide has put Mr Clarkson and his co-presenters James May and Richard Hammond back on a straightforward talent contract, tying them into the car series for the next three years.

It has also taken full ownership of Bedder 6 – paying Mr Clarkson and Mr Wilman handsomely in the process.

 

Still taking the piss them Jeremy....

 

Right a bit to the land of getting things right

Robbers attempted to blow up an ATM to get the cash inside early Monday in the small German town of Darup.

Unfortunately they used more explosives than necessary and managed to blow up the bank.

They did manage to get away with a low four figure pile of Euros and are still on the run.

 

It’s the thought that counts I suppose...

 

Left to the home of furniture and the land of bonking

A hotel worker has been arrested after being found 'having sex with a sofa'.

Gerard Streator, 46, was allegedly seen bending over an abandoned yellow settee Waukesha city, Wisconsin.

Police officer Ryan Edwards, who reported the incident, said he saw a man "thrusting his pelvic area" against the sofa.

Realising he had been spotted the man ran away but was later caught by the officer.

Streator has been charged and could face up to nine months in jail and a £7,000 fine if found guilty.

 

Sofa-so good?

 

Somewhere on this snapped world

 

A hands-free camera which is worn around the neck and uses a host of sensors to automatically decide what photos to take is set to go on sale.

Autographer uses five on-board sensors and GPS capability to identify the perfect time to take a photo, based on changes in light and colour, motion, direction and temperature, and then snaps away using a wide-angle lens.

For instance, Autographer might capture an image when the wearer speeds up as they run for the bus, moves from a warm pub to a snowy street or turns around to greet a friend.

All the wearer has to do is put it on and go, and at the end of the day, watch their ‘unseen’ moments unfold through natural, unpredictable images and stop-frame videos, revealing a surprising new take on their world.

Simon Randall, Head of OMG Life, says, “The beauty of Autographer is that you don’t have to stop to take a photo or spend your day looking at life through a lens. You can live your experiences to the full while Autographer spontaneously captures the stories that happen all around you.

Autographer’s sensors capture metadata alongside the images, meaning users can reconstruct a unique digital record of their day – where they were, where they went, even what the temperature was.

 

Oh great; that’s all I need fifteen photos of me taking a piss each day....

 

And finally:

 

Up in‘t’ Norf

 

 

 

A surfing instructor makes the most of the wet weather as he rides waves behind a vehicle on a flooded road in West Yorkshire.

Bodyboarder Oli Barrett was filmed being towed along the A656 in Castleford on Tuesday.

West Yorkshire suffered heavy rainfall and flooding over the last few days during the worst September storm for 30 years.

Mr Barrett described the experience as a "bit surreal".

West Yorkshire Fire and Rescue said that the A656 had been closed at the time of Mr Barrett's bodyboarding.
 

Lucky that-there could have been an accident...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to find the best constraint on the mass of photons

 

And today’s thought:

Failed to look properly.

 

Angus

 

No Nurse NHS: Magna Plonker U-Turn Cam: Mona 1: The Frozen Dead Guy Festival: Autonomous motors: and Sparkle.

Still chucking it dahn, still a ludicrous lack of warm stuff, still less than that atmospheric movement and not a light of solar activity at the Castle this morn.

 

Bit late, had to go dahn to Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and his Maj's food run and spent more than a while hunting for an illegal tungsten lightbulb or two.

 

And just to cheer up we old farts here are a few old “jokes”.

 

 

 

‘OLD’ IS WHEN….
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot…

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

 

All across our dear old NHS

 

Since the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition wasn’t elected to power they have managed to vanish almost 6,000 nurses, midwifery and health visiting staff.

Health Minister Lord Howe said: "There are always fluctuations in the workforce, and the reality is that there is almost a thousand more clinical staff working in the NHS than there was in May 2010, including nearly 3,500 more doctors, and over 900 extra midwives.

 

Someone is telling porkies-wonder who? And note that the Minister for Elf Howe didn’t mention “Nurses”.

 

Over to the left in both senses

 

 

It seems that our beloved Prime Monster has displayed the result of his very expensive Eton education on the Letterman show.

U-Turn Cam managed to:

Get the answer to who composed Rule Britannia wrong, quoting Elgar instead of Thomas Arne.

Leave the answer to what Magna Carta means in “proper” English unanswered (great charter).

But he did manage to get the place and date correct (1215 as the date the Magna Carta was drawn up and Runnymede as the place of signing).

And he admitted he is "not very popular at the moment", pointing to austerity measures and cuts as a possible explanation for his low ratings.

 

At least he got that right...

 

Right to the place where pointy chocolate comes from

Allegedly a younger vision of the 'Mona Lisa' is due to be unveiled in Geneva, the Swiss-based Mona Lisa Foundation organising the event says detailed research over three decades strongly indicates it is an earlier portrayal by the Italian genius of the world's most famous painting.

Foundation member and art historian Stanley Feldman said: "We have investigated this painting from every relevant angle and the accumulated information all points to it being an earlier version of the Giaconda in the Louvre.

But Martin Kemp, Oxford University professor and world-recognised authority on Da Vinci, argued the Geneva portrait is probably a copy of the Paris version by an unknown painter who simply chose to make the subject younger.

"So much is wrong," he said, pointing to the fact - among others - that the foundation's portrait is painted on canvas and not on wood, the artist's preferred medium. 

 

Woodn’t you know it....

 

Back over to the home of odd things and the land of festivals

 

 

The frozen corpse that has inspired a Colorado town's whimsical "Frozen Dead Guy Days" celebration may soon be put on ice somewhere else, but festival organizers said the body's removal will not have a chilling effect on the annual event.

"We will continue on whether or not Bredo Morstoel is here," festival owner Amanda MacDonald said Wednesday of the man whose body has been packed in dry ice outside Nederland, Colorado, since 1993.

A financial dispute between Morstoel's grandson, Tryve Bauge, and the man hired to replenish the dry ice on a monthly basis, Bo Shaffer, has led to Bauge threatening to move his grandfather's body out of Colorado.

Each month for 18 years, Shaffer has hauled 1,700 pounds (770 kg) of dry ice - carbon dioxide in solid form - to a remote shed above Nederland to keep the corpse of Morstoel at minus-24 degrees Fahrenheit (minus-31 degrees Celsius) and in a state of cryonic suspension.

But Shaffer said he quit after Bauge refused to pay for the rising costs of fuel and ice, which has made the endeavour unprofitable.

 

So the ice man doesn’t cometh then...

 

Still in the place where driving was a pleasure

California Governor Jerry Brown on Tuesday signed a bill clearing the way for self-driving cars to jockey with human-operated vehicles to test the technology on the state's roads.

"Autonomous vehicles are another example of how California's technological leadership is turning today's science fiction into tomorrow's reality," Brown said during a signing ceremony at the Google campus in Mountain View.

"This law will allow California's pioneering engineers to safely test and implement this amazing new technology."

The legislation backed by state senator Alex Padilla lets driverless cars be operated on public roads for testing purposes as long as licensed drivers are behind the wheels to take over if needed. 

Bit bleedin pointless then...

 

And finally:

 

The latest internet hit

 

A cross-eyed cat named Spangles is making a name for himself after his proud owner posted pictures of him wearing costumes online.

Three-year-old feline Spangles has won thousands of followers on his Facebook page after owner Mary Buchanan began posting daily pictures of him posing in costumes.

Buchanan, 25, a college student from Spartanburg, South Carolina, adopted the tabby cat from a neighbour when he was five months old.

"Spangles was born on July 4th, so with the Star-Spangled Banner that's how I got his name", said owner Mary Buchanan.

“He was born with one cross eye, but he’s never had problems walking or anything."

“He’s never run into things, or wobbled. He can see perfectly fine. He has been checked out by a vet, and no surgery is needed to correct his sight.”

Bless.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the reef in the moat

 

And today’s thought:

The porky pie man.

 

 

Angus

“Difficult to explain” What’s his name: Cycle Pleb: The Shopper Chopper: Magic personalities: Tinned Eastern air: and a Mcfury.

Chucking it dahn, a definite dearth of lack of cold, not a hint of atmospheric movement and even less solar activity at the Castle this morn.

But the good news is that I don’t have to stagger around with the watering can...

And his Maj has discovered how to make a venetian blind disintegrate.

 

 

It seems that U-Turn Cam’s fag is taking pot shots at old farts-again

At the annual meeting of nonentities dahn on the sarf coast the non-gay deputy Prime Monster said giving free television licences, winter fuel payments and free bus passes to everyone was increasingly “difficult to explain”.

He called on well-off pensioners to help “make ends meet” by surrendering the handouts, warning it was not fair that Lord Sugar, the tycoon, for example, should be entitled to receive state assistance.

No nuts however pledged to continue to support universal benefits for the elderly, worth hundreds of pounds per person every year, until 2015 but suggested that the handouts are then reconsidered.

A Lib Dem health minister also indicated yesterday that the elderly would face paying higher taxes to fund their care in old age under reforms to be introduced later in the decade.

 

Still; the silver voters will sort this bollocks out at the next election...

 

And up in Smoke

 

The row continues over the chief lash and “Plebs”, shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper said the Prime Minister appeared determined to prevent the truth coming out.

While he has apologised for showing a lack of respect to the police, Mr Mitchell insisted he did not use the words attributed to him - prompting angry complaints from the Police Federation that he was effectively accusing the officers involved of lying.

The Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood last night attempted to draw a line under the matter, arguing that there was no purpose in holding an inquiry as the officer concerned had accepted Mr Mitchell's apology and did not wish to pursue the matter.

 

According to the Telegraph, the police log describes Mr Mitchell speaking to a female officer on Wednesday evening and "demanding exit through the main vehicle gate into Whitehall".

He was told that it was "policy" for cyclists to use the pedestrian gate.

"Mr Mitchell refused, stating he was the Chief Whip and he always used the main gates," the report goes on.

"I explained to Mr Mitchell that the policy was to use the side pedestrian gates and that I was happy to open those for him, but that no officer present would be opening the main gates as this was the policy we were directed to follow.

"Mr Mitchell refused. Repeatedly reiterating he was the Chief Whip... After several refusals Mr Mitchell got off his bike and walked to the pedestrian gate with me after I again offered to open that for him.

"There were several members of public present as is the norm opposite the pedestrian gate and as we neared it, Mr Mitchell said: 'Best you learn your f****** place... you don't run this f****** Government... You're ******* plebs.'

"The members of public looked visibly shocked and I was somewhat taken aback by the language used and the view expressed by a senior Government official. I cannot say if this statement was aimed at me individually, or the officers present or the police service as a whole."

The log states that the officer warned Mr Mitchell that he could be arrested for swearing.

"I warned Mr Mitchell that he should not swear, and if he continued to do so I would have no option but to arrest him under the Public Order Act, saying ‘Please doesn’t swear at me, sir. If you continue to I will have no option but to arrest you under the Public Order Act'," it states.

"Mr Mitchell was then silent and left saying 'You haven't heard the last of this' as he cycled off."

From the Urban Dictionary-

Pleb.

1) one who's inferior intelligence results in them making a complete titface out of themselves in public.

Arrogant twat...

 

From more than lot of linear units over to the left

Comes the Shopper Chopper, a nine-foot-tall small-block-Chevy-powered​attention-grabbing shopping cart with a 350 cubic-inch engine and 500+ LED lights. 

I want one! Imagine driving that dahn the aisles in Tesco’s and you wouldn’t even need to put a quid in the chainy lock thingy....

 

Still in the home of research and the land of the left sided brain

 

 

According to “experts” Taking magic mushrooms (psilocybin) can have a lasting change on the individual's personality, making them more open about their feelings and the way they perceive things.

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Baltimore, MD, USA, wrote in the Journal of Psychopharmacology. The authors explained that those who had mystic experiences while on psilocybin were more likely to subsequently exhibit certain personality changes, making them more forthcoming about their feelings, becoming more focused on being creative, curious, and appreciative about artistic things.

Psilocybin is a psychedelic drug - a substance whose main action is to alter perception and cognition. Its molecular formula is C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P. Its mind-altering effects are similar to those of mescaline and LSD. It effects may include, an altered sense of time, spiritual experiences, perceptual distortions, and thinking processes.

 

No wonder I enjoyed that Spag-Bol so much.......

 

East to the place where gullibility is rife

Chen Guangbiao, a famous Chinese businessman and philanthropist, has launched a line of canned fresh air collected from various parts of China and Taiwan. The product is called “Chen Guangbiao: Nice Guy” and sells for about $0, 80.

He has recently started selling canned fresh air collected from “revolutionary” areas of China, including Jinggang Mountain in Jiangxi Province and some ethnic minority areas and Taiwan. ”One only has to open the can, directly ‘drink’ it or put the nose close to the can to breathe deeply,” Chen said. He also mentioned there is a chip in the can, and during the “packaging process”, when the negative oxygen ions reach a certain concentration the lid is triggered by the chip and closed. And since the air is compressed, it stays inside the can even without a lid,

And the gullible bit?

”Chen Guangbiao: Nice Guy” air cans were flying off the shelves from the first day they were introduced, and they sold out in a matter of days-100,000 cans.

I’ve got a load of old empty milk containers full of ‘Ampshire air if anyone wants to make an offer...

 

And finally:

 

Back in the land of fast food

Jayme John Leon walked into a local McDonald's in Oregon on September 23 and ordered a quarter pounder burger without onions. But when he returned home, Leon discovered the burger was in fact topped with onions.

When he called the restaurant to complain, Leon was told he was entitled not only to a refund but also to a free replacement burger.

Leon reportedly ate the offending burger anyway but still showed up at the McDonald's demanding a refund and fresh burger.

"Since he ate the quarter pounder, McDonald's would not refund his money, sending Mr. Leon into a McFury," Sgt. Claudio Grandjean, Gresham Police spokesman, told the paper.

After tossing the drink and breaking the register, Leon then left the restaurant and headed back home.

He was intercepted by police and has been charged with first-degree criminal mischief, second-degree disorderly conduct, and harassment.

And his toys were confiscated from his pram…

 

That’s it: I’m orf to get the tape measure out

 

And today’s thought:

Cleggy Mercury.

 

 

Angus

Look-no hands: The Ostrich Pillow: Bear faced Numpty: Shed living: Mitt is a Cupid Stunt: and a Wiff Waff explosion.

Marvellous amounts of solar stuff, mountains of lack of warm, minuscule movements of atmosphere and not a mention of wet stuff at the castle this morn, the garden has taken a battering from yesterdays “wevver”, but the Honda is now nice and clean.

 

And blogger seems to be behaving it'self this Tuesday morn.

 

I see that after eight years and squillions of loot

Preparations are under way to extradite radical preacher Abu Hamza al-Masri to the US, after the European Court of Human Rights rejected his appeal bid.

Four other terrorism suspects, including computer expert Babar Ahmad, also face extradition to America.

The “men” have argued that they will face inhumane treatment in the US if they are sent there.

 

That’ll make him “armless” then, handy eh?

 

And the latest thing for helping one to have a kip

Is the Ostrich Pillow, a product that has been specifically designed to allow you to create a little private space within a public one so you can relax, unwind...and sleep.

Just pop the pillow over your head - there are breathing holes, don't worry - and put your hands in the two holes at the top to keep them cosy.

Created by Kawamura-Ganjavian, a UK-based architecture and design studio, the initial idea of an Ostrich Pillow was shared on the web last year.

The pillow is being spruiked on kickstarter, an online funding platform for creative projects, and the first lot of 300 orders has sold out already.

You can pledge amounts of $75, $140, $325 and $620 to fund the project, and in return you'll receive your very own Ostrich Pillow. When the pledge total reaches $70,000, the creators will have enough money to distribute the pillows to the masses.

 

Spiffing; can’t wait to look a total Plonker in public....

 

East to the land of snow and stuff

Allegedly a polar bear attacked a woman who, after drinking too much alcohol, decided to feed the "clumsy" bear with chicken legs. The incident took place in the Chaunsky district of Chukotka, Russia's Far East. A policeman, who heard cries for help, saved the compassionate lady from the claws of the bear.

The incident occurred in the village Yanranay. Sergei Terekhov, an assistant to police precinct, heard the screams. The man grabbed a gun and ran out into the street. He saw a polar bear dragging the victim to the side of the tundra, writes Federal Press.

The police officer wounded the animal with his first shot. Having taken the moment, the woman crawled a few meters away from the predator. This made it possible to make another shot, which killed the bear. The woman was immediately sent to hospital. Doctors said that her life was out of danger: several bite wounds had been treated and stitched.

 

Never seen a Polar Bear with chicken legs....

 

Left to the Blue Ridge Mountains

Hari and Karl Berzins decided to build a tiny home for their family in Virginia's Blue Ridge Mountains to free themselves of the financial burden of owning a large home.

They knew that moving two children, a dog and a cat into a 168-square foot space would be a challenge, though it would also eliminate the need for a mortgage and cut their utility costs.

But they didn't expect it to completely change their lives, Hari Berzins said.

The savings allowed the 39-year-old mother to scale back her hours working for a non-profit and spend more time on the family's 3-acre hillside property in Floyd, Virginia, she said. She now has more time to pursue her passion for writing, gardening, raising chickens and, most importantly, to enjoy her kids. Her husband, a chef, was able to leave a stressful restaurant and take a pay cut to work in a more creative environment.

The Berzins are part of a small contingent of homeowners who have found solace living in less than 500 square feet. Many of them live in homes built on trailers so they can move around; others, like the Berzins, live on property they own. Others live in Cob homes built of clay and mica. Some are motivated by a desire to lessen their carbon footprint while others want to own a home without worrying about property taxes.

 

Housing problem solved-sell the bricks and mortar and move in to a shed…

 

And the next possible US President

After hearing that Mrs next possible first lady survived when the airplane she was in had to make an emergency landing on Friday due to an electrical fire.

Reckons that “when you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous. And she was choking and rubbing her eyes. Fortunately, there was enough oxygen for the pilot and co-pilot to make a safe landing in Denver. But she’s safe and sound.”

 

American voters please note-this Pillock is worse than George ‘dubblu’ Bush...

 

And finally:

 

Dahn in Plymouth

Science has taken a great leap forward or upward in this case.

 

Pity the poor sod who has to clear that lot up....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to levitate some H2o

 

And today’s thought:

Who opened the windows?

 

 

Angus

Bank of Bollocks: Pension properties: Not bringing home the bacon (or sausages): Nipple checks: ‘Eel not do that again: and a Teenage wanker who won’t be able to...

Dark, more than damp, dingy and drear at the Castle this morn, a surprising amount of lack of cold and double that amount of non atmospheric movement.

Had a day out with a few mates yesterday-it pissed dahn all day and all evening and all night.

 And Blogger is being a right pain in the Asaragus...hence the piss poor formatting...

I see that Three Core Cable

 

Is about to give £1 billion of our loot to try to help firms struggling to borrow from traditional high street banks.

He claims the business bank will be a “lasting monument” underlining the need for fundamental reform of the banking system in the wake of the credit crisis.

There have been widespread complaints from small and medium-sized firms that banks are blocking access to finance and hindering their ability to expand.

According to the old fart “I am working with the Chancellor to develop a state-backed institution that will combine up to £1 billion of new government capital with a larger private sector contribution.”

 

Ye-fucking Gods! Here’s an idea-why not get back £1 billion of our money given to the Wanker Bankers and use that?

 

And according to What’s His Name

 

Middle-class parents and grandparents will be able to use money from their pension funds to give grown-up children a deposit to get on the housing ladder, the Liberal Democrats have promised.

The Deputy Prime Monster, revealed details of the “pensions for property” scheme at the Lib Dem conference in Brighton.

The scheme will be targeted at parents who have built up a pension fund worth around £40,000 and are nearing retirement.

Lib Dem officials estimated that around 250,000 households have pension assets of around that value.

They include many public sector workers including teachers and nurses.

Pension schemes typically allow members to take around a quarter of the value of the fund in a lump sum when they retire.

Some people use the money for home improvements, holidays or cars. Ministers said the scheme would allow them to forego such things and help their children instead.

Under the new scheme, parents would sign an agreement with their child’s mortgage lender promising that the lump sum will go towards the cost of the child’s home.

So a parent with a £40,000 pension pot would be able to promise £10,000 as a deposit on a child’s first home.

 

Have I slipped into an alternative universe while I was sleeping?

 

 

 

 

And allegedly

 

 

 

  

 

 

Blighty is facing a bacon and sausage shortage as pig farmers reduce the size of their herds due to the

soaring price of feed.

A mass cull is under way among farmers who can no longer afford to feed their animals, according to the National Pig Association.

Droughts in North America and Russia have caused a global failure in the grain crop used for animal feed, pushing up the price.

The National Pig Association predicts Britain’s breeding stock will shrink by more than eight per cent by Christmas.

Chairman Richard Longthorp said: ‘There will be a shortage of pigs very soon and that will lead to spiralling prices.’

 

Piggin breakfast-or not...

 

East to the land of lots of things

 

It seems that beauty contests are a tad different in China, as well as measuring the contestant’s chest, waist, and hips an extra bit-the distance between nipples, if the nipples are not at least 20 centimetres apart, then the contestant is out.

 

Yet another job I have missed out on….

 

 

 

 

Dahn Unda, and right a bit 

 

 

 

 

A man with an eel lodged in his bottom has shown up at a New Zealand emergency department 

 

asking for help.

 

The unnamed man presented himself at the Auckland City Hospital for treatment last week, the New Zealand Herald reported.

 

X-rays revealed the eel "about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus," a hospital source told the newspaper.

 

The eel was removed and the man went on his way. The hospital confirmed the story to the newspaper, but revealed no further details in order to protect the man's privacy.

 

It was not clear how the eel had found its way inside the man. According to the newspaper, eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover.

 

  

Bum Asparagus?

  

   

 

And finally:

 

Right a lot to the home of the gun and the land of no balls

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 A teenager accidentally shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning his new gun.

 

Michael Smeriglio had reportedly not had the gun for longer than a month when the bizarre (and painful) accident happened.

 

While cleaning his weapon 9the gun, not his knob) 18-year-old Smeriglio somehow pulled the trigger and fired a shot which went through his penis and left testicle.

 

 

Doctors say the bullet ended up getting lodged in his thigh, though Smeriglio is now recovering from the ordeal.

 

 

During their investigation of the incident, police reportedly found marijuana in the house.

 

 

Stone me, what a Plonker...

That’s it: I’m orf to print out a new motor...

And today’s thought:

Bye-bye cruel world...

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Angus