Broken chips: Paper power: Groin ball: Watching paint dry: Pandabare: and Simple French.

Moist and muggy at the Castle this morn, just got back from Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run-the place was absolutely heaving (before seven of the am) with lunatics grabbing everything in sight and filling up two or three trolleys, and they will be open again just after Crimbo. 

As our beloved Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is on its Crimbo hols there is no one to take the piss out of so a truncated post this ‘two sleeps’ to go morn.

So a bit of science to start with. 

 “Scientists” across the pond have come up with ‘self healing chips’

Electronic that is not the starchy kind; they have created a circuit that heals itself when cracked thanks to the release of liquid metal which restores conductivity.

The process takes less than the blink of an eye to bring the circuit back to use.

The researchers said that their work could eventually lead to longer-lasting gadgets as well as solving one of the big problems of interplanetary travel.

The work was carried out by a team of scientists and engineers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and is published in the journal Advanced Materials.

I hope they solder on with it..... 

And:

Over to the East more than a whimsy

Sony has unveiled a paper-powered battery prototype in Japan.

The technology generates electricity by turning shredded paper into sugar which in turn is used as fuel.

If brought to market, the innovation could allow the public to top up the power of their mobile devices using waste material.

The Japanese electronics giant showed off its invention at the Eco-Products exhibition in Tokyo last week.

Employees invited children to drop piece of paper and cardboard into a liquid made up of water and enzymes, and then to shake it. The equipment was connected to a small fan which began spinning a few minutes later.

The process works by using the enzyme cellulase to decompose the materials into glucose sugar. These were then combined with oxygen and further enzymes which turned the material into electrons and hydrogen ions.

The electrons were used by the battery to generate electricity, water and the acid gluconolactone, which is commonly used in cosmetics, were created as by-products.

Finally found a use for all the junk mail that vomits through the portcullis.

Still in the land of surprise attacks

Groin Ball is a game that supposedly originated in Japan, is played by men, and obviously involves the hitting of man veg.

Two teams involved in a game of Groin Ball each consist of two players – a ball thrower and a target player. The target players of each team face each other, holding on to the other’s shoulders. Their feet need to be shoulder-width apart, all through the game. A supply of tennis balls is provided to each of the throwers, who have to hurl them between the legs of the target players, aiming of course, at the groin. The balls hit the ground and then bounce up to smash into the groin of the opposing target player.

Sounds like a load of old bollocks to me……

And back in ballsed up Blighty

The excitement is growing for the wondrous event to take place next year, no not the overpriced Olympics but the first ever World Watching Paint Dry Championships:

A spokesman for the organisers LocalTraders.com said: 'We’ve all heard the phrase, "I’d rather watch paint dry" and so we have decided the time has come to give people the chance to do so, for as long as they can bear.

'You don’t need to be physically fit or participate in a vigorous training regime, what’s more important is mental strength, concentration and endurance.

'Previous paint-watching experience isn’t essential, but a bit of practice might help prepare contestants for the mammoth task ahead of them.'

Watching paint dry on a mammoth; that does sound exciting....anyway if the idea of watching dulux harden floats your boat you can sign up Here.

Back across the salty thing on the left

A west Florida community is spending $3,800 in tax dollars to entice naked Germans to spend their summer vacations there.

The advertising grant was awarded Tuesday by the Pasco County commission to Pandabare, a local nudist organization representing 16 resorts, campgrounds and clubs located in the largely rural county north of Tampa.

The ads, to be placed in European publications, will promote the county's longstanding reputation as the nudist capital of America.

"The idea is to create a Euro-bird season in July and August which are our worst two months of the year," said Eric Keaton, public communications manager for the Pasco County tourist development agency. Keaton said nudism contributes to the county's economy, but he had no figures to quantify its impact.

The first target market for the ad campaign will be Germany which, according to Pandabare's application, is "a large and lucrative market whose millions of nudists are among the world's most prolific travellers." The group also anticipates a campaign aimed at British nudists.

Roll on next July then....but whatever you do don’t go to the Pandabare site...

And finally:

Over to the right a bit

An official body that includes government ministers and a representative of the Academie Francaise, the eminent French language institution, issued a new set of rules to simplify the spellings of many words, either to bring them in line with pronunciation or to eliminate exceptions.

The changes were made in 1990 — but French media are just getting wind of them.

For example, "aout" (August) drops the pointy circumflex accent over the "u''. "Baby-sitter" gets Frenchified into "babysitteur." Bonhomie, which has come into English with that spelling, becomes bonhommie — to reflect its root "homme" (man).

Both the new and old spellings remain acceptable, but the new ones are supposed to be taught in schools, so they will eventually — in theory — replace the old.

Unfortunately few people seem to know about them, many are opposed, and most school texts don't use the new spellings. Even the Academie Francaise itself has chosen to include only some of the new spellings at the end of its dictionary — explaining that it would like to wait it out and see which spellings are adopted in general usage before giving its official blessing.

When television stations became aware of the "new" rules last month, they sent reporters out into the streets to test the French. Very few identified the new spellings as the correct ones — they all looked so strange! — Though frequent, significant hesitations underscored how difficult even the French find it to spell their own words.

I have enough trouble with English spelling, vive la coquilles.

That’s it: I’m orf to update my login

And today’s thought:

Angus

Leaf power: Dutch bird flu: Croissant crim: Lambo Numpty: Duck a’la Fluffy: and F*****g Crimbo.

Moist, muggy and moody at the Castle this morn, the study remains replete with confused computers, and his Maj has discovered the joy of jumping on my lap, passing wind and then jumping orf and walking away... 

The interweb thingy is a touch faster today-I blame the Government....

 

Not a lot of “proper” news this Wednesday so here are some fill ins.

East to the place that is still glowing in the dark

Car manufacturer Nissan has unveiled new technology that allows an electric vehicle to power a home.

It has developed a system in which its new electric car, the Leaf, can be plugged into a house to provide it with another source of energy. The company’s Smart Home Charging technology is designed to encourage consumers to move away from using electricity provided by the main grid and use their car for more than just motoring.

At the heart of this energy drive is the Nissan Leaf (Leading, Environmentally friendly, Affordable, Family car). In a recent demonstration at the Tokyo Motor Show, Nissan showed how the car can power a home by being connected to a power control system box (PCS) that is hooked up to the property.

In the demonstration, the Leaf was powering a specially-designed Smart House but Nissan is confident the technology could be used with existing homes. The power control system box will go on sale at the end of March next year in Japan, where more than 8,000 Leafs have been sold since the car launched in December 2010. The box will cost more than £4,000.

Absolute bollocks, the “power inverter” has been around for decades, you can even buy one from Sainsburys.

Over to the place full of very tall people and very stupid “scientists”

A deadly strain of bird flu with the potential to infect and kill millions of people has been created in a laboratory by European scientists – who now want to publish full details of how they did it.

The discovery has prompted fears within the US Government that the knowledge will fall into the hands of terrorists wanting to use it as a bio-weapon of mass destruction.

Some scientists are questioning whether the research should ever have been undertaken in a university laboratory, instead of at a military facility.

The US Government is now taking advice on whether the information is too dangerous to be published.

No shit-what is the matter with these “people”....

Across the channel to our friends' place

French police are on the hunt for a man in his forties who has held up a series of bakeries in Paris suburbs to steal croissants and other baked goods.

Since December 9, the man has robbed five bakeries in the western suburbs of the French capital, police said; each time using the same modus operandi.

After placing an order, the man holds up what appears to be a fake revolver, points it at the person behind the cash register and takes his pastries without paying.

No one has been injured in the robberies and in each case the value of the goods stolen has been low, at between eight and 20 Euros (£7 and £17).

And I thought that man cannot live by bread alone....

Left to the land of the fast and the home of the insurance claim

Utah resident David Dopp the Frito-Lay truck driver won a green Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 Roadster, the grand prize in the "Joe Schmo To Lambo" contest operated by Maverik gas stations and teamgive.org last month.

And of course the inevitable happened; Less than six hours after taking delivery of the Lamborghini, Dopp lost control of the 640-horsepower Italian, hopped a curb and spun it into an embankment 75 feet from the road.

Police say the accident was likely "speed-related," although Dopp reportedly says he was only doing 40-50 mph when he lost control of the car on a section of road with a 35-mph speed limit. Dopp maintains he might have hit some black ice or gravel.

 

Or he could just be a Numpty....

Dahn Unda

Fluffy the crocodile was tasting down arriving on vet Doug English's operating table 10 days ago.

The 1.3m saltie was found near death by the roadside, clenching a recently caught duck between her sizable jaws after being hit by a bus at Yorkeys Knob.

After noticing the injured reptile about midnight, a local farmer braved the crocodile’s feisty temperament and loaded her in his car.

Dr English had to act quickly to save the croc during an early-morning emergency surgery that lasted almost two hours.

"Its guts were all ruptured and spilling out the side – we had to do the surgery straight away otherwise she would’ve died," he said.

Clinic staff were pleased to see her bite return after the surgery.

 

Wonder who Yorkey is, and what happened to the duck.....

And finally:

In the land of Hitler’s birth

Residents of the Austrian town of F***ing have given up trying to live down their name and are cashing in with a range of Christmas cards.

Locals have given up on trying to discourage visitors from making fun of the name and have instead decided to turn it into an asset.

As well as the sell-out 'F***ing Christmas cards', local businesses are also doing a roaring trade with 'F***ing beer' and a range of 'F***ing' souvenirs.

The village's name is understood to come from a sixth century noble called Lord Focko, with 'ing' being old-fashioned German for 'family of'.

Local mayor Franz Meindl had previously complained about tourists flocking to the village to be photographed in front of the 'F***ing' road signs. 

He said: "They have been a nuisance for years, some even strip off naked, and the worst steal the 'F***ing' signs. They think it’s funny but a new 'F***ing' sign is expensive.

"There is nothing funny in the name to us. If other people laugh about it, there is nothing we can do. But we pronounce it differently in our dialect and it was never funny in any way."

In the end the village concreted the poles in place and welded the signs in tight to stop them being pinched.

The villagers even had a debate about whether to change the name but decided in the end to keep their name after learning that the nearby German village of W**k had developed a flourishing tourism business.

No sense of humour, no wonder they never watched “allo, allo”-fucking wankers.....

That’s it: I’m orf to put some pressure on Iron oxide. 

And today’s thought:

Angus

Bankers carry on: Tesco upsets the God Botherers: No more Rudolf: Double yellow Norfolk Numptys: Deep fried butters balls: and a Jetnapping in the flat lands.

Wet, unwindy and warm at the Castle this morn, the study is still holding on to many, many mangled machines and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush.

The interweb thingy is exceedingly slow this Tuesday, I blame the Government...

It seems that

Son of a B.....aronet (and reptilian alien in disguise) George (I can count my good policies on the fingers on my head) Osborne has taken a leaf out of U-Turn Cam’s very large book by doing a 180 to spare banks the full impact of reforms.

In a Commons statement, the knobhead said legislation will require UK banks to "ring-fence" their high-street banking operations and increase their capital buffers. But our beloved “chancellor” also said the stricter capital regime would fall short of what Sir John Vickers' Independent Commission on Banking (ICB) proposed in its report.

Tosspot Osborne said primary and secondary legislation to implement the retail ring-fence will be completed by the end of the Parliament in May 2015. But the actual date for the implementation of the structural overhaul was left vague.

A bit like the rest of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalitions record to date...

And apparently: 

My favourite retailer has managed to piss orf “good Christians”

Religious groups are boycotting Tesco after a senior executive at the supermarket giant described Christians as “evil” for opposing gay marriage.

Nick Lansley, Tesco’s head of research and development, said he was actively taking a stand “against evil Christians” who opposed the right of same-sex couples to marry.

In a message on his profile page on Flickr.com, he said: “I’m…campaigning against evil Christians (that’s not all Christians, just bad ones) who think that gay people should not lead happy lives and get married to their same-sex partners.”

The remarks, which have now been removed from the photo sharing website, caused outrage among Christian groups, who said they would refuse to shop in the chain’s stores in protest.

That’ll cheer up the atheists, shorter queues and more stuff to go round.

Harvey Nicks has sold out of Rudolf pate

An animal-rights group's campaign to rid the shelves of Harvey Nichols of reindeer pate has backfired -- the store has now sold out of the canned delicacy.

Viva -- Vegetarians International Voice for Animals -- drew attention to the Edible brand reindeer pate being sold at the grocer with a campaign calling for Britons to "politely complain" to Harvey Nichols to get the reindeer pate off the shelves.

The pate, which is branded as a "farm-raised relative of Rudolph" and an indulgent winter treat, is made from Swedish Arctic reindeer meat, cognac and spices, according to the listing for the product on Edible's website.

Bugger, I have already bought my train ticket to London and a new tin opener....

Still in banjaxed Blighty

Norwich has become home to what is believed to be Britain's shortest set of double yellow lines.

The lines - measuring just 17in (43cm) - are between a new permit parking area in the waiting zone in Stafford Street.

Norwich city councillor Bert Bremner admitted the lines may have been unnecessary, but said a developer paid for the road marking, so no cost was incurred by the council.

'They were put down to make things clearer for permit holders, but in hindsight perhaps they weren't needed.

'Local people said it was not obvious where the dividing line was so a decision was made to put in a small section of double yellow lines. I wish they weren't there

'As a councillor you are expected to do many things for residents but getting into the Guinness Book of Records for the shortest set of double yellow lines isn't one I anticipated.'

Be careful what you wish for Norfolk Numpty...

North of the border

Chefs have created a calorific treat to rival the deep-fried Mars Bar – deep-fried butter balls.

The snack, already popular in the United States, has been given a Scottish twist as it is cooked in Irn-Bru batter.

Edinburgh bar The Fiddler’s Elbow is serving the pudding for what is thought to be the first time in Scotland.

The sticky dessert, called Braveheart Butter Bombs, is served with an Irn-Bru ice-cream and coulis.

While critics have dubbed deep-fried butter a “coronary on a plate”, the chefs said it should be safe in moderation.

So is Russian roulette...

And finally (after two hours):

Right a smidge to the land below sea level

A large model of an American jetfighter has mysteriously disappeared from a small Dutch museum and its owners are hoping pranksters rather than scrap metal thieves are responsible for what they call the “Jetnapping.”

Edwin van Brakel, chairman of the Museum Vliegbasis Deelen, says the non-working model of a Lockheed Starfighter was discovered missing Sunday morning.

He said Monday it is a mystery how thieves managed to move the scale model, which is about 10 meters (33 feet) long and weighs about 500 kilograms (1,100 pounds).

He says “it would not fit in the back of a Fiat 500.”

Or a transit.....Maybe Airfix could supply a replacement...

That’s it: I’m orf to take the mistletoe back

And today’s thought.

Angus  

Bugger the EU: Spooky spots: Toasted Squirrel: Feeling blue in Juzcar: AFDB: and Weather its fashion-or not.

Warmish, wettish and wondrous-ish at the Castle this morn, not a whimsy of white crusty stuff, the study is still holding on to has-been hoo hahs, and his Maj has discovered the delights of playing chase.

Been down to Tesco to stock up on stale bread, gruel and pussy food, only one checkout out of thirty open, the place looks like Japan after a tsunami, and they have moved everything around so that they can fill up every little bit of space with Crimbo stuff.

Apparently Kim Jong Il isn’t any more, mainly because he has kicked the bucket, but at least he won’t be ronery any more....

And Microsoft is going to introduce automatic updates for IE users from January next year.

Nice...

 

Allegedly those Blighty lovers over the channel

Want us to stump up a £25,000,000,000 “contribution” to help bail out the Eurozone.

European finance ministers will aim to agree a new €200 billion (£167.7 billion) loan to the International Monetary Fund as part of a deal to save the single currency.

Three quarters of the money is expected to come from eurozone members, but Britain will also be asked to provide funds.

Figures suggest European Union officials expect British taxpayers to be the second largest contributor. Our beloved unelected Prime Monster has repeatedly promised not to provide any extra funding for the IMF for the specific purpose of saving the euro and Britain is already liable for £12 billion of loans and guarantees to Ireland, Greece and Portugal.

Under IMF rules, Britain would underwrite a portion of loans to struggling countries, but only pay out if they defaulted. Only countries that are members of the IMF and contribute to its wealth can apply for loans.

The Prime Minister has argued that no country has ever lost money by lending to the IMF.

Until now.....

 

Up in the Smoke

Among the nooks and crannies is a garage used by MI5 in the 1970s to get its cars souped-up and kitted out with surveillance equipment.

But the garage near Clapham in south London was later uncovered by the Russians, prompting the Security Service to move their specialist mechanics to ‘somewhere in west London’.

The Londonist Top 10 Spy Sites also features a warren of tunnels underneath Kingsway, near Holborn.

Originally used as air raid shelters, they were taken over by the Inter Services Research Bureau, which served as a front for the research arm of MI6 – aka Q Branch in the James Bond novels.

A more exotic stop on the trail is Polish restaurant Café Daquise in South Kensington, where Russian Cold War spy Yevgeny Ivanov and lover Christine Keeler used to meet.

Keeler was also seeing defence minister John Profumo, an affair which led to his resignation amid fears national security had been compromised.

While some of the buildings in the guide, including MI6’s headquarters at Vauxhall Cross, are already well known to the public, others such as the spy school on Borough High Street would not attract a second glance.

The Millennium Hotel in Mayfair provides a more sinister twist, as it is where ex-Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned in 2006.

Spooky...

Dahn in ‘Ampshire

A nutty squirrel was caught red-handed nicking toast by Paul Hawks who took the snap at his home in Fordingbridge, Hampshire.

It had already poked a hole through the middle of the bread and is seen gnawing away at the top of it.

It seemed oblivious to what was going on around it and that moment of sloppiness could have led to a grilling.

It allowed Mr Hawks to grab his camera and take the incriminating shot.

The villainous vermin made off with a piece of toast that was nearly the same size as it.

It was last seen hopping along the patios with the toasty treat in hand.

Looking for some marmalade....

Right a bit and down a lot

The inhabitants of a Spanish village which was painted entirely blue for the filming of box-office smash hit The Smurfs movie voted to keep their houses a vivid shade of azure, instead of returning to traditional white.

The 221 residents of Juzcar, in southern Spain, were promised by Sony Pictures six months ago that their homes would be returned to their former dazzling white state but found The Smurfs animated movie brought them an unexpected lifeline in tough economic times.

Juzcar became the world's first official Smurf Village and, whereas 300 tourists a year would pass through, an estimated 80,000 have been to see "Smurftown" in the past six months.

The village put it to a vote and the inhabitants overwhelmingly decided - 141 in favour to 33 against - that their homes should stay painted entirely in that unique hue, Smurf blue.

 Smurfin....

The latest fashion accessory for those of a “sensitive” nature

Is the AFDB or Aluminium Foil Deflector Beanie, which can apparently shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers.

It seems that AFDBs are inexpensive and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of an MP.

“This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.”

Already have one, it didn’t work; I got struck by lightning.

And finally: Staying with the fashion thing.

The people that provide us with atmospheric forecasts

Has launched its own fashion range, complete with its famous weather symbols, it combines our national obsession with the weather and the government’s need to bring in more money:

In collaboration with an eco-clothing company, the national weather forecaster has developed a range of T-shirts emblazoned with its famous weather symbols.

Designs include their cloud symbol with a bolt of lightning signifying stormy weather, and a fashionable adaptation of the rainy weather symbol featuring a cloud with rain drops in the shape of cats and dogs.

Another design includes a cloud transformed into an ice cream cone with a lightning rod as the “flake” to “celebrate English summertime”.

The £20 T-shirts are made from organic cotton, manufactured in a wind powered factory on the Isle of Wight by the company Rapanui.

No wonder they keep getting it wrong-too busy pimping up clothes.

That’s it: I’m orf to Google a new motor.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Le invasion: Back to the 1950’s: Copper a load of this: Drink a Blowfish: Parker scooter: and a playing Panda .

More white crusty stuff than you could shake a stick at around the Castle this morn, I think the liquid metal in the gauge has emigrated to somewhere warm; the dungeon is bursting with fat teenagers for the furnace, the study is nicely nestled with non number crunchers and his Maj is still clinging to the radiator in the kitchen.

Up in the Smoke

From next June, for the first time, a French MP will take his or her seat as representative for a new constituency stretching from Dublin to Riga, with its heart in London. The winning candidate will have a seat in Paris's national assembly and will represent the interests of French nationals based in northern Europe, the largest proportion of whom live in the UK capital, where there are thought to be as many as 400,000.

One of the leading candidates for the northern Europe seat is Axelle Lemaire, the head of the Socialist Party in London. Ms Lemaire, 36, has lived in Britain for the past 10 years and currently works as a researcher in the House of Commons. Last night she said there was a strong bond between the countries that she hoped would survive the current diplomatic storm.

400,000; no wonder there are no frogs in London......

And:

U-Turn Cam’s bottle washer

Is to step up his warning against Tory plans for tax breaks for married couples - accusing ministers of seeking a return to the 1950s.

Tory backbenchers are pressing for an election pledge to introduce transferable tax allowances worth up to £150 a year to be implemented within this parliament.

What’s his name will use his "open society" speech to distance his party from the Tories on a range of social issues and will single out the marriage plans.

"We should not take a particular version of the family institution, such as the 1950s model of suit-wearing, bread-winning dad and apron wearing, home-making mother - and try and preserve it in aspic," he will tell the Demos think tank.

Ah the good old 1950’s-cheap food, cheap petrol, cheap gas and electricity, no traffic jams speed limits or seat belts, no mobile phones, smog, rickets, polio, outside toilets, bath in front of the coal fire; Bliss....

Right a smidge to the land of ABBA

Several blonde residents of a southern Swedish town were left with green hair after an unusual reaction between the water supply and the shower system of a number of new homes.

Authorities began investigating when a number of inhabitants of Anderslov complained that their hair suddenly turned green, Swedish newspaper Skanskan reported.

They tested the water supply in several homes to see if there was a high level of copper - known to turn hair green - but recorded only normal levels of the metal.

However, when hot water was left in the houses' water systems overnight, the amount of copper in it was found to increase to five or 10 times the normal amount.

Investigators concluded that the hot water must have peeled copper from the pipes and water heaters. The copper then was absorbed into the water, causing the shock hair colour change when residents showered.

The problem was found to be worst in new homes, where pipes lacked coatings.

Residents were told wash their hair in cold water or live in an older house to avoid the problem

Very helpful, but are they “real” blondes.

From the land of the fragile and the home of the boozed up

A former finance worker claims to have created the 'ultimate hangover cure' which obliterates the symptoms of excess in just 15 minutes.

Blowfish contains a whopping 1,000 milligrams of aspirin, 120 milligrams of caffeine and an antacid to soothe upset stomachs.

The magic formula isn't the work of scientists, but was discovered by Brenna Haysom, who stumbled across the recipe after trying hundreds of hangover cures.

Now Blowfish has become the first remedy specifically designed for hangovers to be recognised by America's Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

It hit the US market this month and could officially be launched in Britain as early as next year.

Glad I don’t drink....

Back in barmy Blighty

A granddad who is obsessed with Thunderbirds has built his own version of Lady Penelope's Rolls Royce, complete with a homemade doll in the back seat.

Brian Vann, a 74-year-old retired construction worker from Evesham, Worcestershire, pimped his 10mph scooter to emulate the car from his favourite television show of the 1960s.

Using cardboard and tin foil, Vann carefully crafted the model around his scooter, painting the wood and even using a Barbie doll to create his own version of the Rolls Royce emblem on the front.

The idea for the transformation came after Mr Vann's wife passed away in 2010, and he decided to design it to compete in a cancer charity race.

Now to get around town, Mr Vann cruises in his Thunderbirds-inspired 'Royce' with a model of his Lady Penelope in the back seat.

'I have always loved the Thunderbirds show when it was on the telly and have harboured an ambition to drive around Lady Penelope,' said Mr Vann.

There’s one born every 1937....

And finally:

Right oodles of thingies

Two giant pandas, Hua'ao and Qingfeng stretched their chubby limbs, played and even ate the snow as it blanketed Nanshan Park.

"They get particularly excited when they see snow,' said Ma Rong who works at Nanshan Park.

"Sometimes they like to roll a snow-house and hide inside. They also lump the snow together until they make small snowballs. Then they eat the snowballs as if they're having ice cream."

Snow is nothing new for the endangered animals, which live in cold areas at an altitude of about 2,000 metres above sea level.

Bless...

That’s it: I’m orf to spread nanoparticles on my clothes.

And today’s thought:

Angus

‘Ello, ‘ello: Good Moaning: Sparkly bog: Manila slice: Spanish fly: Cardboard cops: and a Mingy Council.

Even colder than the coldest bit earlier in the week at the castle this morn, oodles of white crusty stuff covering all and sundry, the liquid metal in the gauge is still in hiding, the study is still inhabited by ex parrots, the butler has filled the furnace with fat teenagers before he buggers orf for his Crimbo hols and his Maj is clinging to the radiator in the kitchen.

I went for a bit of a drive and a walk out to Little Frensham, which is smaller than Big Frensham but bigger than Teeny Weeny Frensham, god it was cold; but I managed to take a few very bad snaps.

It seems that Le French are not happy with Blighty

French leaders have launched outspoken public attacks on Britain, calling for the UK to lose its AAA credit rating and comparing its economy with that of Greece.

François Baroin, the finance minister, said Britain was “marginalised” and faced “a very difficult economic situation” because of Coalition policies.

He added: “Great Britain is in a very difficult economic situation, a deficit close to the level of Greece, debt equivalent to our own, much higher inflation prospects and growth forecasts well under the eurozone average. It’s an audacious choice the British government has made,” he said.

Time to brick up the Chunnel...

But what’s his name has come to our defence

France was told by Nick Clegg today to end "simply unacceptable" attacks on the UK economy amid mounting cross-Channel tensions over the eurozone crisis.

French Prime Minister Francois Fillon telephoned the Deputy Prime Monster to insist he had not intended to call into question the UK's credit rating.

My dad’s bigger than your dad...

Right many, many miles

To the land where things are still glowing in the dark, a toilet made entirely of Swarovski Crystals has been put on display in Japan.

A Japanese toilet maker's new glittering design is sure to please the 'god of toilet', a deity known in Japan for his love for sparkling toilets.

The toilet was on display at the Lixil Ginza showroom on Friday (December 16), attracting streams of visitors.

Kazuo Sumimiya, director of Lixil's Ginza showroom, said the sparkling toilet was designed to please the 'god of toilet', a Japanese tradition that dates back hundreds of years ago.

'In Japan, we believe that there is a deity existing in the toilet, that's why keeping our toilet clean and taking good care of it have been a Japanese custom since long ago,' Sumimiya said.

Japanese wives' tales promise young women that they'll have a beautiful form and enjoy an easy early birth if they keep their house's toilets clean, an old-fashioned ruse to trick children into taking their daily chores seriously.

Not sure what is in the Castles loo, but I am pretty sure it isn’t a Deity, just part of a “Dei”.

 

Still in the Eastern hemisphere

Dozens of fraternity men held their annual naked run around the University of the Philippines in Manila on Friday (December 16), a campus tradition to promote social issues and academic freedom.

According to Reuters, members from the Alpha Phi Omega brotherhood wore nothing but masks hiding their faces as they ran along the halls while holding placards advocating this year's theme of protecting the environment.

Hundreds of onlookers, who were mostly women and students, packed the school building to get a glimpse of the fraternity men.

The tradition started in the late 70s when members of the Alpha Phi Omega fraternity ran naked on the campus grounds to protest against former President Ferdinand Marcos' censorship of a film criticizing his administration.

The run is held every December around different universities in the Philippines to coincide with the fraternity's founding anniversary.

I can feel the world cooling down already...

And apparently Ryanair has miffed orf a few Spaniards

The cut price airline produces a charity calendar each year, featuring scantily-clad flight attendants.

But the latest version has attracted the wrath of the Provincial Association of Housewives and Consumers of Valencia.

The association has formally complained that the calendar exploits female workers, and reported it to the Non-Sexist Advertising Observatory of Valencia for using the female body in the form of advertising.

The association wants the calendar - intended to raise money to send 50 British families with children who suffer from a fragile skin condition on holiday to Spain - taken off sale.

The housewives say that the airline is profiting by using the publicity whipped up by the calendar to sell its low-cost flights.

However, Ryanair says it has already sold 90% of its 10,000 print run of 2012 calendars, raising nearly £100,000 for the charity, Debra.

Green Spanish onions?

 

Over a bit to the land of alternative products

Traffic police in China have come up with a cost effective way of slowing down speeding motorists - with a cardboard cut-out of a squad car.

The cut-outs, which look like police vehicles from behind, are being used as a traffic calming technique in eastern China's Jiangsu Province.

One motorist, Liu Yuan, said: "I spotted what I thought was a police vehicle parked on the hard shoulder so I hit the brakes.

"It when I went past it, I was stunned to see that it was just a thin piece of board painted to look like a cop car.

"It was so realistic. It even had a solar panel to power a flashing light to make it look even more realistic at night."

A spokesman for the local police, in Wuxi City, confirmed that cardboard cut-outs of police vehicles were being used to slow traffic.

That wouldn’t work in Blighty-too windy....

And finally:

Back to our triple A land

Up where old York is, toddlers have been told to stop making a “diamond” star sign while singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in case the gesture is misinterpreted as sign language representing a female body part.

Staff at the Sure Start centre in Acomb, York were accused of an “overreaction” for stopping the children making the symbol for fear of offending people.

A disgruntled mother said: “It seems a little politically correct. These are innocent little children just making a sign to show a star.

“No one would give it a second thought. Now every parent may worry their child may be making an offensive gesture when they’re singing this song.”

Staff members had been on a course to learn Makaton sign language – a system used by about 100,000 people in Britain that assists people with communication difficulties and shares many signs with British Sign Language, which is used by deaf people.

In both, the sign for female genitalia is an inverted diamond made with a thumb and forefinger, held in front of the crotch.  

During the singing of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, children will usually hold their hands high in an upright diamond as they sing the lines “like a diamond in the sky”.

A spokeswoman for City of York council, which runs the Sure Start mother and toddler group, said it was “a sensible decision taken to prevent deaf children or deaf parents being offended by the use of the gesture”.

She said that having been on the course staff members felt the use of the sign was a sensitive matter and decided instead to use the Makaton sign for a star.

Ah the old “I’ve been on a course” excuse, miserable load of inverted diamonds....

That’s it: I’m orf to explore the Solar System.

And today’s thought:

Angus