Private nukes: I can’t believe it’s not Alzheimer's: the Art car museum: Indian rain dance: Whale of a pool: and illegal rain.

More than a lack of warm stuff, oodles of wet stuff and a whimsy of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, his Maj has the hump (again) because he has just had his flea/ticks and lice stuff and the smoke detector doo-dah decided to go orf at 1.10 of the am, after spending a while searching for the fire I went back to the four poster and it went orf again at 1.50. 2.35, 3.09 and 4.27, I hope they accept it as recycling as it is now in the blue bin....

Norf of the border

Allegedly the MoD has signed a 15-year contract with private contractors ABL Alliance to provide support for the Trident weapons system at HM Naval Base Clyde.

Under the new contract 149 MoD civilian posts will transfer to the alliance.

The jobs are in industrial and technical grades, warehousing and logistic support services, while supervisors and managers are also transferring.

Thirty-nine Royal Navy posts will also be seconded to the alliance, which comprises AWE plc, Babcock and Lockheed Martin UK Strategic Systems (LMUKSS).

The MoD said it decided in May 2011 that the most effective way to sustain the workforce in the future was to use an experienced supplier within the private sector.

The new arrangement is scheduled to start in January 2013, subject to the successful completion of a protection of employment consultation.

And my contribution to GCHQ-terrorist, nuclear bomb, al Qaeda, radiation and bye-bye.

West to the home of “movies” and the land of popcorn

According to ACS' journal Chemical Research in Toxicology chronic exposure of workers in industry to a food flavouring ingredient used to produce the distinctive buttery flavour and aroma of microwave popcorn, margarines, snack foods, candy, baked goods, pet foods and other products the ingredient, diacetyl (DA), intensifies the damaging effects of an abnormal brain protein linked to Alzheimer's disease.

Robert Vince and colleagues Swati More and Ashish Vartak explain that DA has been the focus of much research recently because it is linked to respiratory and other problems in workers at microwave popcorn and food-flavouring factories. DA gives microwave popcorn its distinctive buttery taste and aroma. DA also forms naturally in fermented beverages such as beer, and gives some chardonnay wines a buttery taste.

Now why did I sit in front of this computer.....

Still in the place where the automobile is king

Comes the art car movement, which instead of a nice wash, polish and valet these artists armed with paint, glue, objects, and whatever else will stay stuck on a car that still needs to drive, the creators go to work.

Among the art car creations a favorite style is where one particular thing has been glued on the entirety of the car exterior such as cameras, corks, cd's, trophies and so on.

In Houston this art car culture is a deep part of the city. Growing out of a long Houston tradition of outsider art, in 1986, 11 art cars were exhibited alongside the Fruitmobile (the 'first' of the Houston art cars, made to be auctioned) at The Orange Show. By April, 1988 the Houston art car culture and art car parade was in full swing with the first official art car parade in the U.S. took place with a 40 car parade and was seen by over two thousand onlookers.

Among the “best” cars in the museum are Rex Rabbit a giant rabbit shaped car clutching a basket of eggs, Faith by David Best complete with water buffalo head in place of longhorns, and the giant roach shaped "Roachster."

My brain hurts....

East many, many, many miles to the land of no Leccy

Bangalore, the capital city of the Indian state Karnataka, is experiencing its worst drought in 42 years. Large parts of north and central Karnataka have recorded an almost 27 percent decline in rainfall.

So the local Gov has asked all 34,000 temples in the state to conduct special rituals for rain, priced at about 5,000 Indian rupees (Rs.) each, the pujas will cost 170 million rupees (Rs. 17 crore, or nearly US$3.07 million) in total.

The state’s endowments ministry released the orders. Minister K.S. Poojari clarified that the money is to fund the rituals — to propitiate the rain gods.

Churches and mosques in the area were also asked to hold special prayers for rain. The BJP government of Jagadish Shettar requested that the prayers be conducted on July 27 and August 7.

Nice to see the sub continent has left the sixteenth century and finally entered the seventeenth.

 

Dahn Unda

The dead body of an 11m-long whale has been discovered in an open-air swimming pool in Australia.

Early morning swimmers discovered the humpback whale, which had been washed into the ocean pool in Sydney by heavy seas.

The 30-tonne young adult mammal was washed up at Newport Beach ending up in the man-made swimming baths which are filled with sea water.

The beach has now been closed due to the risk of sharks being attracted to the area by the rotting carcass.

The authorities are now deciding how best to remove the whale.

 Need a lot of chips for that....

And finally:

Back to the place where men are men and water is illegal

Gary Harrington, an Oregon man, will be spending a month in jail, after being convicted on nine misdemeanor charges. His crime is “Illegally” collecting rain water on his own property.

Harrington, who lives in Eagle Point, Oregon, has been fighting for the right to collect rain water since 2002.

Now a decade later, he has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and fined over $1,500 for the man-made ponds he has built on his 170 acres of land. For filling “three illegal reservoirs” on his property with runoff water, Harrington has been convicted on nine misdemeanor charges in Circuit Court.

According to authorities, Harrington broke the law by collecting natural rain water and snow runoff that landed on his property. Harrington said he stores the water mainly for fire protection.

According to officials with the Medford Water Commission, the water on Harrington’s property, whether it came from the sky or not, is considered a tributary of the nearby Crowfoot Creek. Thus it is subject to a 1925 law, giving Medford Water Commission full ownership and rights to the water.

Let’s hope they don’t hear about the moat then.....

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look for some giant damselflies

And today’s thought:

No wonder we are doing so well Olympics.

Angus

Groceries and GPs: No change: Aisle of Man: iPad Pussy: Eastern Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho: and a-Hoy Numpty.

Saw dawn’s crack between the white fluffy things at the Castle this morn, I have decided to put the new shorts back in the draw as the lack of warm in the atmospheric movement was beginning to give me frostbite on my old dangly bits...

The garden is in need of a minor fettle, the Honda is covered in yellow dusty stuff again and his Maj has decided that he doesn’t want to parachute into the grounds.

And I won’t mention the lack of metal gongs from the thing going on in the Smoke and elsewhere.

No post tomorrow-personal reasons: my lovely young lady is coming to trim my head hair, and the Nork who ballsed up the furnace is returning to put his errors right.

Dahn West and up Norf

Sainsbury's has opened two more GP surgeries in its supermarkets this year and has urged more practices to come forward to run primary care services in its stores.

The two surgeries come after four opened in Sainsbury's stores across the country last year and are based in stores in Newton Abbot in Devon, which opened in January, and Sunderland, which opened in May.

One surgery, which will be operated by GPs at the Buckland Surgery, Newton Abbot, has a fully equipped consultation room and will offer GP consultations every Monday Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

 

Good idea?

Back in the Olympic Smoke

Allegedly son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I can’t get past “A”) Osborne will keep both his jobs, aides to the prime monster told the Daily Mail that it was "completely absurd" to suggest that Osborne would be removed from his role in the Treasury in the autumn.

They also confirmed that Osborne will maintain his strategist role for the Conservatives, saying "it is a strength, at a time of economic crisis, to have a chancellor who regularly attends meetings at Downing Street".

That’s us stuffed then.....

Left a lot to the big bit of fruit

Westside Market in New York launched the city’s first “man aisle,” a haven for alpha-males tasked with buying groceries.

The “aisle” — which is actually an end-cap to an aisle — has all the essentials including, but not limited to: deodorant, a cornucopia of Doritos, ramen, beef jerky, beer, condoms and bottled water.

Because guys apparently love crushing empty plastic containers in their meaty manfists after chowing down on pickles and Chips Ahoy cookies.

According to Ian Joskowitz, chief operating officer of Westside Market NYC- essentially, the area is “grocery shopping for dummies” for these men. Who, if they are buying for their families, are doing their wives and children a great health and culinary disservice.

Oh dear....

Still in the home of silicon valley and the land of Pussies

Developer Little Hiccup has created a series of iPad apps designed to keep pets across the globe entertained and stimulated.

Its first App Game For Cats features a fast-moving mouse pointer which is said to appeal to their hunting instincts as they try to catch it.

It has been so popular that its creator TJ Fuller has followed up the App with a sequel named Paint For Cats.

 Designed for the more artistic moggy, the App makes a colourful paw imprint when a cat touches the screen.

The App was recently tested at an animal shelter where it received a positive response, with bigger cats such as lions and tigers even taking to it.

Oh dear, oh dear....

East more than oodles of miles

From land that has never been troubled by radiation comes a new world record for the largest ukulele ensemble.

More than 2,000 strummers gathered in Yokohama, Japan's second-largest city, to trump the previous record set in Sweden.

The group were watched by Guinness World Records officials, AFP news agency said, and played a song called Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho, written by a Hawaii-born former sumo wrestler.

They set the record during Japan's "Ukulele Picnic Week".

The diminutive guitar-shaped instrument originated from Hawaii, where it is also synonymous with hula dancing.

The previous record was set in August last year by 1,547 uke-wielding Swedes in Helsingborg.

More than one string to their bow then....

And finally: 

Back in time and back in the USA

On July 9^th 1993 Garry Hoy a lawyer for the law firm of Holden Day Wilson in Toronto attempted to prove to a group of his partners at the firm that the glass in the Toronto-Dominion Centre was unbreakable, so he threw himself at a glass wall on the 24th storey and fell to his death after the window frame gave way.

He had apparently performed this stunt many times in the past, having previously bounced harmlessly off the glass.

Should have worn a parachute...

That’s it: I’m orf to cancel my order for Windows 8

And today’s thought:

What makes you think I have been taking steroids Olympics?

Angus

Olympic history Lesson: Rodent Rodney: Ethical shoplifting: and Ava virtual customer service Rep.

Much less lack of cold at the Castle this morn, the big warm solar thing keeps hiding behind the white fluffy stuff and there some nice cool atmospheric movement.

Really late this Saturday, I overslept-see below for the reason.

I broke one of my habits of a lifetime and tried to watch the ceremony at the temporary round thing behind the Bid Red Helter Skelter last dark thing.

And I learned a lot-

I discovered that Great Blighty was a green and pleasant land full of sheep farms, maypoles and giant water wheels which turn without the need for wet stuff.

And that when Isambard Kindom Brunel came along he turned the land into a boiling, flora less place where giant smoking chimneys grew out of the ground and the first giant levitating circles of metal were invented.

And then I found out that our dear old NHS was infested with Dementors and Voldermort but we were all saved by a gaggle of Mary Poppins who arrived by umbrella.

And then a German BMW Mini arrived to start orf a series of “musical” tributes which included pop, punk, rock, rap, garage, grunge, grime, blood, pus, snot and everything.

After that lots of other things happened including Her Maj arriving by parachute and Mr Bean playing with his organ but I was beginning to lose the will to live by then so turned over to watch Quantum of Solace on one of the non Olympic channels.

But I did pop back during the adverts to see a seemingly endless stream of hopefuls whose marching was speeded up by oodles of people banging plastic buckets.

And then I saw a not good enough tattooed footie bloke bring the flame to the stadium, give it to an old bloke who gave it to seven young people that set light to 204 copper thingies that in the Brunel levitating fire fashion rose into the air to form a massive gas fire (no wonder British Gas is making so much profit).

But I did enjoy the Bond film....apparently according to “experts” you would only understand all the goings on if you were British-I am and I didn’t...

 

Still; only another seventeen days to go....

Over to the left and up a whimsy

A Canadian man accidentally shot himself in the forehead while trying to kill a mouse with the butt of his rifle.

The man was reportedly intending to crush the rodent with the weapon at a camp on Anjigami Lake in Ontario, but didn't know the gun was loaded.

As such he got quite a shock when the gun fired, with the bullet grazing his forehead but luckily not causing too much damage.

Police say the man was admitted to and released from the hospital, before being charged with careless use of a firearm.

A spokesperson said: "He was very lucky." It's not known what happened to the mouse.

 Plonker....

Dahn a bit

University of Louisville Police are accusing a Prospect man of stealing a textbook called “Resolving Ethical Issues” and trying to sell it at a bookstore, according to an arrest report.

Terry J. Davis, of the 14200 block of Harbour Place, was arrested Wednesday and charged with theft by unlawful taking by shoplifting, a Class A misdemeanour.

Davis allegedly took the book from 555 S. Floyd St., according to the arrest report. The address is listed as UofL’s Health Sciences Centre.

Later, Terry tried allegedly to sell the textbook back at Gray’s College Bookstore.

Is that ironic or what?

 

And finally: 

Still in the home of technology and the land of the avatar

Passengers at New Jersey's Newark Liberty International Airport will always get a smile from this customer service representative.

Libby is young, friendly, and eager to help travellers at Newark Liberty International Airport find their way toward baggage claims or connecting flights. Just don't ask her any questions.

Despite gestures and a pearly white smile, Libby isn't a real person but a life-size avatar — the first of three the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey plan to have in place at its busiest airports by mid-August.

That's because she's an avatar.

The Port Authority on Friday will unveil the computerized, hologram-like image named "Ava" in the international arrivals area in Terminal B. She's programmed to answer passengers' most frequently-asked questions.

The Port Authority is spending $180,000 to place the high-tech help at Newark, Kennedy and LaGuardia airports.

Sounds just like a “real” customer service rep then-what next-virtual airplanes?

That’s it: I’m orf to test drive a perpetual motion Renault.

And today’s thought:

I know just how you feel Olympics.

Angus

USPS and Parcel Force: Ailing NHS: Argy-Bargy Bish: Swedish sitters: Venezuelan Grandmother: and Egg throwing.

Warmish, dullish and calmish at the Castle this morn, the garden needs a minor fettle-again, the elbow is almost fixed and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from under the stairs.

Long, long ago a daft old fart ordered some goods from far away country; USPS (United States Postal Services) took three days to collect it and another five days to send it by rowboat to UK Customs up Norf.

Then UK Customs (when they aren’t on strike) took four days to slap charges on it and then revised the charges, Parcel Force then kindly paid the VAT of £8.90 for the daft old fart and charged him the princely sum of £8.00 for the privilege.

What happens then is that Parcel Force will send the daft old fart a letter telling him that he owes them dosh and to cough up or he can’t have his parcel, and when he does pay the ransom they will deliver his parcel probably when he is out and leave him a glad you weren’t in card. 

But the daft old fart wasn’t that daft; he went to the Parcel Force depot, paid the ransom and finally took his shiny new parcel home.

All in all it took the daft old fart’s parcel 15 days to travel from New Jersey (where the turnpike is) to dahn ere in ‘Ampshire and cost him £16.90 on top of the purchase price and original delivery costs.

And the moral of this daft old fart’s story is-if you want to buy something from the States-don’t.......

I see that the privatisation plans of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition are going swimmingly

Apparently more than 30 NHS trusts could be forced to merge, devolve services into the community and make job cuts as part of a radical restructuring of hospital care across England.

Yesterday the Department of Health said it considered 21 hospitals to be "clinically and financially unsustainable" and in need of radical restructuring.

However, the list did not include another five foundation hospitals – run independently of the Department of Health – which are also considered to be failing financially. A further five foundation hospitals also have severe financial problems.

South London Healthcare NHS Trust, which is losing £1m a week, is likely now to be run by a special administrator tasked with putting it on a viable footing.

The trust, which runs Queen Mary's Hospital in Sidcup, the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Woolwich and the Princess Royal University Hospital in Bromley is likely to face cuts to services and jobs in an attempt to reduce costs.

Department of Health sources suggested it was possible that other hospitals could also be put into administration. Those at greatest risk are understood to be Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust and Surrey and Sussex Healthcare NHS Trust.

Many of the problems faced by the affected hospitals are historical. Some have been burdened with prohibitively expensive PFI debts which they are struggling to service, while others are providing services which are now uneconomical.

Some hospitals are also trying to provide a full range of hospital services to relatively small but isolated communities and finding there are not the economies of scale to stay within budget. Said one source who could not be named as they are involved in hospital regulation.

That’s the problem when a Service becomes a Business......

Left to the place where people aren’t lazy

Bishop Fernando Bargallo, 57, was forced to hand in his resignation after photographs emerged this month showing him frolicking and embracing a woman at a luxury resort in Mexico.

Bargallo, who led the Argentine diocese of Merlo-Moreno outside Buenos Aires since May 1997, has reportedly admitted to having "amorous ties" with the woman he is seen embracing in the water, thought to be a divorced restaurant owner.

He had initially claimed she was just a long-time friend.

The news broke as the Vatican ousted the founder of an Italian mission for "serious immoral behaviour," after it emerged he had sex with female missionaries during a posting in South America.

Luigi Prandin, who founded the Villaregia Missionary Community, was ousted along with co-founder, Maria Luigia Corona, who knew of the liaisons but covered it up because she feared a scandal.

Ex Nazi Pope Benedict XVI has vigorously denied claims that abstention may have contributed to sex abuse scandals, insisting repeatedly that celibacy is central to the priesthood.

In April, he issued a rare condemnation of errant priests, slamming in particular an "appeal to religious disobedience" launched by a group of Austrian clerics in 2011, which argued for an end to priestly celibacy.

Still....at least it wasn’t a Kiddly he was fiddling with....

Right loads of thingies to one of the European countries in the Norf

Politicians in Sweden are calling for new rules to ban men from urinating while standing up.

The local Left Party on the Sormland County Council wants men to sit down to pee in council toilets.

The socialist and feminist party claims that seated urination is more hygienic for men, reports The Local newspaper.

They say it decreases the likelihood of puddles and is better for men's health by more effectively emptying the bladder.

However, at least one expert, John Gamel, a professor at the University of Louisville, disagrees.

"Men scatter urine not so much during the actual urination as during the 'shaking off' that follows," he said.

"As a result, forcing men to sit while emptying their bladders will serve little purpose, since no man wants to shake himself off while remaining seated on the toilet."

That would take all the fun out of it, anyway wait until they get to a certain age, then they have to sit to pee....

Dahn a bit to the land that spawned the Ex Nazi El Papa

The Venezuelan government is championing the Pemon Indians of the "Gran Sabana" region by demanding the return of the polished stone known to them as "Grandmother" from Berlin's Tiergarten Park.

Caracas is calling it robbery, and the sculptor arguing that the stone was a legal gift.

Bet that didn’t fit in his hand luggage....

And finally:

 Up a whimsy from dahn ere in ‘Ampshire

Hundreds of sports enthusiasts from all over the world descended upon the Lincolnshire hamlet of Swaton to take part in the fiercely egg throwing contest competition held on Sunday.

Teams travelled from as far as Germany and South Africa to take part in the day's events, which included Russian Egg Roulette and Egg Trebuchet.

Eggs were hurled, tossed and launched by teams of competitors, cheered on by family and friends in attendance.

Eggheads could also pay £2 for three attempts at hitting bodybuilder Joel Hicks in the World Target Throwing with Accuracy Challenge.

Competing teams were raising money for a host of charities, with organisers hoping for donations to surpass the £10,000 mark.

President of the World Egg Throwing Championship, Andy Dunlop explained before the event: 'We are expecting records to fall. Ireland in particular seems very confident.

'We use a particular breed of chicken which gives harder shells therefore they should be able to be thrown over 70 metres,' he told the BBC.

The sport dates back to 1322 when a newly appointed Abbot of Swaton ensured attendance at church by providing peasants with one egg each.

However when the River Eau flooded that year, monks were forced to hurl eggs over to waiting peasants who were unable to attend the service. 

They would have raised more if they just sold the eggs-seen the price of them lately?

Addendum:

Email received from Andy Dunlop-admin@eggthrowing.org

Sir,

I read your blog with interest. To clarify, 1500 eggs used, all of which were past their sell by date, value was nil. If not donated, and purchased non waste eggs, would of cost £250. Cash raised by destruction of waste food £10,000. Monies raised used to support hospices, cancer reasearch, immediate care response. No PFI wastage and no politicians involved.

The World Egg Throwing Federation is a totally non profit organisation. All monies raised go to afore mentioned causes. Expenses are not drawn.

Andy Dunlop

Well, thanks Andy that's eggsplaned it eggstremely well-what about Elfandsafety?

That’s it: I’m orf to teach my laptop to recognise his Maj

And today’s thought:

Losing your head over the Olympics

Angus

Water, water everywhere-but not in Sarf-East Water’s area: NIMBY May: Too fat to compete: Paoletto and El Papa: No austerity in Monaco: Those who live in glass houses: Tea tips: and Stuck with stolen loot.

A touch more than warm at the Castle this morn, his Maj is already settled in the shady corner, still humping the watering can around the grounds, the Honda is covered in even more yellow stuff than before, and I spent most of yesterday picking things up that had been blown orf the windowsills by the wind. 

As you may know we have a hosepipe ban dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire

And if you click on this link you can read Sarf-East Water’s rules.

South East Water gives notice that, pursuant to sections 76 and 76A-C of the Water Industry Act 1991, it prohibits from the beginning of 5 April 2012, throughout its entire area of supply (extending across parts of Kent, Surrey, Sussex, Hampshire and Berkshire), the following uses of potable water supplied by it (that is water treated to drinkable standards).

Couple of sentences caught my eye:

Banned:

(f) Drawing water, using a hosepipe, for domestic recreational use (whatever that may be).

h) Filling or maintaining an ornamental fountain (including a cascade or any other display of moving water, and includes filling by permanent plumbing)

Not banned:

ii) watering a garden attached to a domestic dwelling or watering plants on domestic premises using a hosepipe, by people with severe mobility problems who hold a current Blue Badge as issued by their local authority; (how?)

iv) Using a hosepipe to water an area of grass or outdoor artificial surfaces used for sport or recreation, where this is required in connection with a national or international sports event;

v) drip or trickle irrigation watering systems, fitted with a pressure reducing valve and a timer, that are not handheld, that place water drip by drip directly onto the soil surface or beneath the soil surface, without any surface run off or dispersion of water through the air using a jet or mist;

Definitions:

(a) using a hosepipe to include both drawing water supplied by South East Water at the time of the prohibition through a hosepipe from a container and also filling or partly filling a container with such water by means of a hosepipe;

(b) garden to include a park, gardens open to the public, a lawn, a grass verge, an area of grass used for sport or recreation, an allotment garden as defined in section 22(1) of the Allotments Act 1922, any area of allotment used for non-commercial purposes and any other green space; and

(c) health and safety to include removing or minimising any risk to human or animal health or safety and preventing or controlling the spread of causative agents or disease.

The topping up of an established domestic pond is also permitted if the welfare of fish in the pond is at risk.

For the purposes of the prohibitions relating to the use of a hosepipe, the prohibitions apply whether or not any device such as a sprinkler is attached to the hosepipe.


Any person who contravenes any of these prohibitions is guilty of an offence, and is liable on summary conviction to a fine not exceeding £1,000.

 

Now you know…

Up in the Smoke

Our beloved Home Secretary Theresa May (or probably won’t) is drawing up contingency plans to cope with a possible large increase in immigration from Greece if the euro collapses.

She said "trends" were being examined to see whether immigration was rising from countries with stricken economies.

If the single currency breaks up, people looking for work abroad may see Britain as an attractive alternative as it is a non-eurozone country.

Har, fucking har.....

Allegedly a “high-ranking person” in what is left of British athletics

Reckons that Jessica Ennis who is 5ft 5in, weighs 8st 13lb is “fat and she’s got too much weight.” along with Louise Hazel who is 5ft 6in and weighs 8st 11lb is also “fat”.

Nice to see that we are encouraging our Olympic hopefuls...wish I was that fat...

East to the state that isn’t

Vatican police have arrested Pope Benedict XVI's personal butler following an investigation into the leaking of sensitive church documents.

The butler, identified as Paolo Gabriele, 40, was held by gendarmes after a special commission of three top senior cardinals had been appointed by the Pope to identify the source of the leaks which have caused severe embarrassment.

Mr Gabriele, who has been at the Pope’s side for six years, is one of the German born pontiff’s closest members of his inner circle which totals just four lay people and four nuns. Vatican sources said the Pope had been ''deeply pained and struck'' by the arrest of the man who has been a constant presence at his side

It is believed that Mr Gabriele, who is known by the nickname Paoletto (little Paul) was held as he arrived for work at the Papal apartments in the Apostolic Palace behind St Peter’s and on Friday he was being held in custody – the first time in years the Vatican jail had been used.

Dozens of documents including private letters to the Pope have found themselves into the hands of the Italian media in what has been dubbed Vatileaks, a play on the Wiki Leaks website.

The documents show how contracts were awarded to favoured companies and individuals and also highlight allegations of internal power struggles with the Vatican’s bank known as the Institute for Religious Works.

 I must check out the butler’s bureau...

Left a bit to the fastest b road in the world

The Fairmont hotel in Monaco is offering F1 fans the chance to enjoy the Monaco Grand Prix without even leaving the building.

Snag is-it doesn't come cheap. The most expensive package overlooking the famous Fairmont hairpin bend costs £24,000 for four nights – and that doesn’t even include evening meals.

The last remaining room was snapped up three weeks ago and the hotel is now fully booked.

Oh well. I’ll stay in the Castle and watch it on the box then...

East to the place that definitely isn’t radioactive

Architect Sou Fujimoto has used modular tables in creating a see-through house.

The 914 square-foot, three-storey house is made entirely of glass walls.

Fujimoto said he was inspired by a concept of a tree: “The intriguing point of a tree is that these places are not hermetically isolated, but are connected to one another.”

 How amazing-is that a 2CV?

 

Don’t know what to do with those old tea bags?

Here are a few tips:

Black tea could be the answer to curing sunburn. Gently applying chilled black tea to the affected area will help soothe the skin, and the tea’s tannins can help speed the body down its road to recovery.

Cooled chamomile tea also has anti-inflammatory properties that can help treat skin affected by sunburns and irritants like poison ivy.

Applying a used tea bag to a sore mouth can help relieve the area and reduce inflammation by soaking up excess saliva. Biting down on the bag can also keep a wandering tongue from ‘pestering’ the wound

And adding a few cups of brewed black tea to a marinade will help tenderize beef before cooking.

Put some dry tea bags in running shoes or a smelly gym bag when not in use. The tea bags will help absorb the musky scents while imparting some of their own.

Dye your fabrics-to give them an antique or sepia tinge.

Feed your plants-break open the bags and sprinkle the tea around the soil of the plant or brew the tea a second time and water the plants with weak tea-This works best with acid-loving plants, like roses.

 There you go-and you can even drink the stuff....

And finally: 

Back in bollixed up broken Blighty

Three bandits were foiled in the Smoke when their attempt to pry open a stolen cash box ran up against a new security system that covered the bills with glue.

Baffour Amponsah, 25, Brian Ocaya, 28, and Daniel Collins, also 28, were part of a gang that ambushed a cash delivery man working for security company G4S in south London on Jan. 16, 2011. The group stole his cash box but ran into trouble when they retreated to a car park lot to try to open it.
Gavin Windsor, a G4S director, said the company's cash boxes had recently been fitted with a new security system which coats the bills with glue - along with dye and a colourless, traceable liquid known as "smart water" - if it is tampered with.

Very clever-but isn’t it illegal to deface Her Maj’s money?

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the moat for deep ocean stowaways

And today’s thought:

Cracking up at the Olympics

Angus

Olympic freebies for the Gov: By Ecc; spoiled brat: Pothole in Woodstock: Solar swimwear: proclaiming the Haggis: and a foot fire in Florida.

Bit of an odd start at the Castle this morn-cool, calm, sunny/cloudy and a bit damp, the kitchen is empty of integrated circuits, and I am going to have to move any new repairable's upstairs to the study because it is difficult to concentrate when his Majesty is sitting on/in the computers I am trying to work on.

But I did manage to recover the last three years of emails, all I have to do now is to sort them out and put them in the right folders.

I see that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club has received 9,000 free tickets for the Olympics.

Hugh Robertson said the Government had been given more than 9,000 free tickets in total but a third of them would be used to invite "international business guests and dignitaries to make sure we secure an economic legacy to the Games".

The remaining tickets will mainly be sold through a ballot system, with 3,000 going to staff working on the Games and 2,400 sold to dignitaries from towns and cities hosting teams and events. Another 450 will be allocated as prizes for schools.

But: don’t forget “We Are All In This Together”, aren’t we?

And apparently Bernie Ecclestone's 22-year-old daughter (that’s her on the left) might have become the proud owner of America's most expensive family home.

Petra Ecclestone, who is occasionally described in print as the most spoiled girl in Britain, was yesterday named as the prospective purchaser of The Manor, a landmark property sitting atop five acres of the ostentatious Holmby Hills neighbourhood of Los Angeles. It has been on the market for two years, at an asking price of $150m (£92.6m).

The property, which measures 57,000 sq ft and boasts parking for 100 cars, will become a second home for Ms Ecclestone, who recently celebrated her engagement to Jamie Stunt, a 26-year-old entrepreneur. Last year, she acquired a £56m London home in a purchase also financed by her father.

In a subsequent "at home" interview with Grazia magazine, Ms Ecclestone said that she needed the expensive pad to accommodate her five dogs. "I need a garden for them and there aren't many properties in Chelsea or Belgravia with a private garden. Mum took me round to look at it and I fell in love."

The final amount paid by Ms Ecclestone has not been announced, and neither she nor Ms Spelling (who is "downsizing" to a $47m penthouse in nearby Century City) has yet commented on the sale. The celebrity news website TMZ reported however that they had agreed on a final price tag of around $75m, or half the original asking price.

 As the largest private home in Los Angeles County, it boasts more than 100 rooms, one of which is devoted entirely to flower cutting.

 That works out at twenty-ish rooms per dog.....

Still in the big bit of land to the left

Across to Woodstock, seven people were sent to hospital after eating marijuana-laced brownies at a golf course.

Police said an employee of the golf course brought brownies made with marijuana to work Thursday and shared the batch with co-workers, who didn't know the brownies were laced.

The golf course was shut down after seven employees were taken to Woodstock General Hospital following complaints of feeling dizzy and disoriented. The employees were treated and released.

A 19-year-old Woodstock man is charged with administering a noxious substance, possession of a controlled substance and breach of probation.

 Well, stone me.......

Up to the Big Apple

A New York-based designer has invented a solar-powered bikini so wearers can charge their iPod or camera as they lie in the sun.

Andrew Schneider, 30, sewed together 40 paper-thin photo-voltaic panels together with soft conductive thread to produce his iKini which comes complete with USB ports sewn into the fabric.

Mr Schneider told the International Business Times that he came up with the idea during a brainstorming session at New York University.

"I didn't really have anything exciting so I leaned over to my friend and just jokingly said that I was going to make a bikini that could cool your beer at the beach," he said.

He then decided there was some merit in the idea and started work on developing a prototype - before realising there were an important stumbling block.

"The original bikini didn't have enough surface area to kick out the juice necessary to... cool the beer, so I downgraded to a lower power device. I plugged in my iPod and it worked," he said.

He is now selling the iKinis with prices ranging from £300 to £900 with each one custom-built and tailor-made for the wearer.

Just don’t go anywhere near the water while wearing it....

Back in Blighty and North of the border

Lulu and The Proclaimers have added their voices to support to Sunday's Edinburgh International Haggis Championship.

The championship is one of the first events of Edinburgh's festival season, and will raise funds for Help for Heroes.

The inaugural competitive eating championship takes place at the Art Roch hostel on Edinburgh's Grassmarket.

Lulu explained: "We've got to have a Scottish champion. I think I myself have eaten a haggis supper in less than two minutes in my youth.

She added: "Here's to raising lots of money and putting Scotland's delicious national dish firmly on the map!"

Craig and Charlie Reid of The Proclaimers described Help for Heroes as "the most worthy of causes". Scotland's most famous twins added: "Good luck with the indigestion."

The day of fun starts at 11am and vegetarian versions of haggis will be available for anyone who can't stomach oats and innards.

 Yum, yum... 

And finally:

Back across the pond

Emergency personnel were called Wednesday to a Fort Walton Beach, Fla., home where a man accidentally started a fire with rubbing alcohol and a cigarette.

The man told deputies he was sitting on his bed cleaning an infection on his foot with the alcohol about 10:30 a.m., said Battalion Chief Shannon Stone of the Fort Walton Beach Fire Department, according to the website.

Some alcohol spilled on the sheets, the man told authorities, and when his cigarette touched the spill, a fire started. Stone said he did not know why the cigarette contacted the bedclothes.

The man pulled the sheets off and left to get something to put out the fire with, the NWFDailyNews.com reported. But when he returned, the fire was much larger, and the man left the house and called 911, the site reported.

“I guess it is a little uncommon,” Stone told NWFDailyNews.com. “But that’s what he says. There’s no reason not to believe it.”

All the people in the house were able to get out safely, the website reported.

Stone told the site the single-family home suffered significant damage and was uninhabitable.

The fire was ruled accidental.

 I knew alcohol was bad for you.......

 That’s it; I’m orf to search the teapot for the Mad Hatters mate.

 And today’s thought: A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Angus